Less than Innocent, More than Like
by Saya-Sama
Summary: Lavi's just come to the Black Order, and he's already bored. He needs something to occupy his time. This something comes to him in the form of an irritable new exorcist with a cold glare. LaviKanda shonen ai Permanent Hiatus
1. encounter

**So... this is yet another LaviYuu thing... Saya's become quite the LaviYuu shipper :D this may or may not turn into a series, hopefully it will, but for now this is just based on one scene Saya just cant get out of her mind. So here goes something! Oh, and this takes place before Allen came to the Order, a little after Lavi joined.**

**Saya owns the play but not the actors, they belong to Hoshino-ka.**

**Rated K-ish... because a kiss doesn't call for an M rating.**

1. Encounter

_I know we decided on being "Frivolous and Friendly" while here but... things get so gloomy around here, I don't think these people know what "frivolity" is. And I don't feel like being friendly with a bunch of wound-up scientists. It looks like the only person near my age was that girl Lenalee from the funeral precession, and it didn't look like she was in any condition to be having fun. What's a Bookman-in-training to do when he can't stick to his assigned personality? _

The red-head sighed, letting his body slump forwards as he walked out of the room that had been given to him and Bookman. The walls of the large room rose up at least 50 feet, and every inch of them was covered in books. The floor was covered in documents too. Lavi, with his insatiable thirst for knowledge and strong sense of curiosity, couldn't help but want to read through them all. But, as he was posing as a "Fun" person for the time being, he would have to go out and socialize with the other people in the building.

So with a forced expression of happiness that didn't seem at all forced, he waltzed out of the large control room, lacing his fingers behind his head. The young man walked down hall after hall, down to the dining hall; he had easily managed to remember the building's layout after spending a few weeks here, and looking at a map.

_man it's only been a few weeks and already I think this place needs something new..._

He stepped into the large room, the air filled with the chatter of Finders, and the clanging of silverware. Surprisingly, he saw the girl from the Funeral precession at one of the tables, eating quietly by herself.

_well it looks like it's time to be frivolous and friendly..._

He went through the long line of workers to get his lunch, and as soon as he was done, made his way towards the girl's table. Lenalee's face was bandaged; she had been part of the battle where so many lives were lost. He hair was up in pigtails, and she was in her exorcists uniform. Lavi thought she looked very cute like that.

"Mind if I sit here?" He asked, giving her a warm smile; well, that's what he was hoping it looked like. It seems he did a good job of that, for she nodded, giving him a much more sincere smile of her own.

"You're the new exorcist who arrived a few weeks back, Lavi, right?" She asked. He nodded, taking in what he found to be the most mouth-watering food he'd tasted in all his short life. Swallowing, he tried to resist the urge to shove the entire plate of food down his throat.

"Yea, that's me. And you're Lenalee, right? Nice to meet ya! Man I'm glad I'm not the only one around here who's my age!" Lavi went on, in a manner that would be expected of any average boy his age.

"Well there are a few others around our age too, but they're out on missions or they're training. Ge-ge1 said that one of the general's is bringing another new exorcist in today, who just finished some basic combat training. Would you like to go and greet him with me later?"

"Sure I'd love to," Lavi replied to her question, and then he continued to wolf down the pasta that looked too appetizing to resist any longer.

000

Lenalee and Lavi were waiting in the entrance hall for the new-comer and the General escorting him when finally, the Gate Keeper spoke, going through all the motions of identifying the pair as human and not Akuma or any of the other things they could've been.

The gate lifted, and there were four of them, two more than Lavi expected.

"Just how many new people did this General find?" Lavi asked Lenalee in a whisper.

"General Tiedoll already had two students, he's bringing in a third today. They've all been training together for a while now, apparently," She answered, as though she were reading it off of some mental document.

As the four grew closer, they each became more discernible. The tallest one was a man who looked to be getting on in years, with frizzy hair and thick-rimmed glasses, that settled on a crooked nose. He had a mustache and a barely-there beard, along with droopy eyes. His uniform was black with gold trimmings, and Lavi guessed he was the General. The next tallest was a rather burly young man with a square face and a nearly-bald head, except for the strange knot that stayed on top. He had a dark complexion and features a bit too small for his face, and a messenger bag that went with his black and white uniform. The shortest was a boy with a large nose and strange lines on his young face. His uniform made him look something like a court jester, and his long, pointed hood had an ornate bell at the end.

Then there was the last one, who stood out to Lavi the most in the group. He couldn't even tell if it was a he or a she, the child had a beautiful face with sharp features, their eyes held a dark glare. Their hair was fairly long, reaching down to the small of their back. The logical reason why this child stood out from the rest would be because while the other three were wearing the black uniforms of the Black Order, that one person wasn't, instead wearing a plain white shirt and black slacks. But Lavi wasn't thinking logically, this one stood out to him because they'd caught Lavi's eye; he was interested.

Lenalee walked forward to welcome everyone home, and to introduce herself to the new kid.

"Lavi, don't just stand there, come over and say hello," She said, in a soft command. He did as told, and hoped his eye wasn't getting wide; the child was even more lovely up close, and more androgynous. With the way his curiosity was building up, be couldn't stop himself from making a foolish mistake, and a horrible first impression.

"So are you a boy or a girl?"

The blood-freezing glare he received told him that if the smaller child was not so tired at the moment, he would have bludgeoned him. But that still didn't answer Lavi's question. Eye twitching angrily, the child answer.

"I'm a boy," The child; now properly identified as a male, answered through gritted teeth. Lavi would have to fix the problem he'd just created for himself, if he didn't want the boy to chop his head off with a knife during dinner or something someday.

"Well good for you, I'm one too. My name's Lavi, yours?" He asked, at near-babbling speed. The boy seemed to take enjoyment out of Lavi's flustered and slightly scared state, for he smirked, and answered with a lot less ice in his tone "Kanda." The rest of Kanda's group had left to go file a report on their latest mission, and Kanda was left in Lenalee's capable hands, plus the tag-along Lavi. Now that Kanda had trained a bit with his innocence, it was about time he had Hevlaska see how much he had come to synchronize with it.

"So you're name's just Kanda? What about a first name?"

"Is you're name just Lavi? What about a last name?"

"Aha, you've got me. But I don't have-or need- a last name. But what about you? Surely you have more than your family name?"

Kanda huffed, not liking how Lavi was asking him so many questions. Besides, even if Kanda did tell him his first name, it's not like he was gonna let anyone _use_ it. That would be annoying, and much too personal too allow someone whom he had just met to do. Lavi looked at him expectantly, and Kanda grumbled a bit before answering. "Yuu."

"What about me?"

"No you idiot, that's my _name_. Tch... why am I bothering to talk to you anyways..."

"Because it was love at first sight?"

That earned Lavi a direct punch to the face; fatigue be damned, Kanda wasn't about to let _two_ huge offenses slip by him without punishment. Lenalee looked on in alarm, hoping the two didn't start fighting. Lavi wiggled his nose a little, and checked for blood.

"Geez you gave me a nose-bleed!"

"Hentai."

"Hey I am not!"

Kanda had already started walking again, and Lenalee was following; after all Kanda had no idea where he was going. Kanda stopped and looked back at Lavi, not expecting the idiot to know anything of his mother language. Lavi took this time to catch up to the two.

"So you're Japanese I take it? Fine, then from now on you are Yuu-chan!"

"Yuu-chan" looked absolutely murderous now. No, he would not let this stupid redhead go around calling him by his first name with a feminine honorific attached. No, just no.

"Call me that again and I will run you through with Mugen."

"Mugen?"

Kanda put his hand on the hilt of a sword that Lavi only just noticed was strapped to his side. Lavi put his hands up in the universal sign of peace, and the three continued to Komui's office.

000

The next day Lavi pretty much followed Kanda around, which thoroughly annoyed the Japanese boy. Horribly enough, Lavi still kept calling Kanda "Yuu-chan" despite the warning he had received. Unfortunately, Kanda could never find any pointy instrument that would be fit for bloody murder, Mugen was currently being inspected by Komui but as soon as he had it back... well, then Kanda would no longer have this problem.

Still, he couldn't get the cultural mut to just _shut_ _up_ and leave him alone! it was infuriating. Finally, Kanda couldn't take the insistent chatter that came from behind him. He turned around quickly, whipping Lavi with his hair, to find that they were much closer than he had thought they were; there faces were not but a hand's length away, and the two had some comparatively small hands. For a moment Kanda's face turned a pale pink, but he soon controlled his embarrassment at being so close to another person.

"Why wont you just leave me the hell alone?" he asked, his voice and face reflecting his anger. Lavi looked down at him with a raised eyebrow; he had not missed the momentary blush that had colored Kanda's face. It was cute how Kanda could be so rude with such a pretty face, as though his over-whelmingly strong and angry attitude was to make up for looking fragile. Lavi liked cute, and he thought that blush had definitely made the small boy cute. He wanted to see more of that. He lowered his face to the point where the tips of their noses nearly touched, a smirk firmly in place on his lips.

"Because Yuu, I find you interesting. Interesting and very, very cute." He answered truthfully, and then chastely kissed Kanda. Lavi pulled away to find the Japanese completely stunned, and blushing radiantly. Lavi turned, and started to walk away, making his not-so-hasty retreat while he had the chance.

"Lavi... I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"

Lavi thought he'd better hasten his retreat.

**1- Ge-ge is Mandarin for older brother. Saya thinks that because Komui and Lenalee are both Chinese, that if Lenalee isn't going to use "brother" to refer to Komui, then it would make more sense for her to use her mother tongue to refer to him, rather than the Japanese "Nii-san".****The Mandarin word for younger sister, by the way, is Mei-Mei. Well, from what Saya found that's what it is anyway, if she's wrong please correct her.**

**And surely you all know about how in anime/manga, perverts tend to get nose-bleeds when thinking perverse thoughts. so when Kanda calls Lavi a pervert, that's Saya making a pun off the nose-bleed situation. Is that really a pun though? Hm...**

**So this may or may not become a series, which is why this is so long. Saya really hopes she can make this into a series! She needs to express her love for LaviYuu! And for those who are wondering, that last part was the scene that Saya had in mind and just had to put out into the world. Yatta for LaviYuu**


	2. Interesting

**Aha! and it is a series! of two parts so far! can Saya keep it up? Lets hope, let's pray, let's thank the heavens! Let's see if Saya can slip random french in here without seeming stupid! Just kidding, that's the language class she just started, she's hoping to become fluent someday... **

**Oh, and because this was a question Saya was asked and figured many would have, Kanda and Lavi are around 12-13 in this fic. **

**Saya owns the play but not the actors, they belong to Hoshino-ka.**

**Rated K-ish...because nothing so horrid has happened at this point.**

2. Interesting

Kanda Yuu was on a mission. That mission was to avoid a certain eye-patch-wearing redhead at all costs until he had Mugen safely back in his hands.

Yes, Kanda was being taking extra precautions when it came to Lavi, fear didn't come easy to the boy, but confusion did. And confusion helped the fear along. Kanda was very shaken by the fact that his first kiss, yes, his very first, had been stolen from him, and by another boy no less! Kanda thought back to his family in Japan; his sweet little sister who nearly idolized him, his slacker of an older brother who was too laid back, and most importantly his extremely conservative parents; what on earth would they think if they knew that their youngest prodigy of a son had let that happen?

So, to ensure that incident was not repeated, he refused to let himself fall into the redhead's sights until he had Mugen. He hadn't had the sword for long, but it was something that by just holding it made him feel more powerful, and it reassured him. Besides, if he had that with him, he could simply kill Lavi the next time the younger boy tried something. Now is Kanda over-reacting? Just a bit, yes. Does he care? No, not at all.

Finally, he was told by Lenalee that her brother had finished doing whatever it was he was doing to Mugen and that Kanda could pick it up anytime. Kanda was ecstatic, though he didn't show it at all. He was so happy though that he forgot to check for the red-haired menace. His mistake.

"YUU-CHAN!" his own name assaulted his ears as Lavi glomped him from behind, his arms around Kanda's upper arms, his head resting on Kanda's shoulder. Kanda let out a slur of swears under his breath, too ugly to be said with such a pretty face.

"You've been avoiding me all day since yesterday ya' know..." The bunny-boy whispered, his voice didn't hold it's hyper-happy tone, but instead a mischievous one, with a hint of not-so-dangerous danger. Kanda froze; Lavi was not gonna do anything to him here, in the crowded hallway, right? He wouldn't, would he? It had only taken Kanda once day to establish that he was not someone to be messed with, but Lavi was his one foil, and if he kept it up, who knows what type of annoying idiots would bother him in the future?

"That's not nice Yuu..." Lavi continued, turning to face Kanda ever so slightly; once again they were too close for Kanda's comfort, he was highly aware of how he could almost feel Lavi's lips moving against his cheek, how his breath hit his skin. Kanda's posture was stiff, and he glared forward as he addressed the red-head.

"I don't care about being nice. Now get off me and for Kami's sake stop using my first name like you have some kind of right to." Lavi did as told, but he didn't leave Kanda alone. Instead he chose to fall into step besides him, his happy-go-lucky persona reestablished.

"So how ya likin' things around here Yuu-chan? It's really boring, ne?" Lavi asked, and Kanda mentally groaned; he just couldn't get rid of the kid once he was found. Finally they reached what Kanda remembered to be the mad scientist's office, and Kanda's eyes gained a rather evilly happy gleam, finally he'd have his means of beheading idiots back! Specifically the idiot following him around.

Kanda stormed into the office, Lavi still talking insistently to him.

"I want my sword back and I want it now," Kanda demanded, with a glare that said "object and you die, say anything irrelevant to Mugen and you die. Comment on Lavi following me and you die." Komui didn't test the young teen's patience. Well, maybe he did, but he did so in an indirect way that basically looped Kanda out of things, so he wouldn't have any solid reason to kill the insane one. Handing Mugen to Kanda, Komui looked over to Lavi.

"So why are you following Kanda?" He asked, Kanda huffed, but listened for an answer as well; he had a right to know why he was being stalked, right?

"Because Yuu-chan's interesting," He stated simply, once again throwing his arms around the older boy's shoulders. Kanda smirked as he swiftly brought Mugen to Lavi's neck.

"Get off now, or you will be dispatched to the neither world by my blade." It felt good to threaten Lavi. Lavi let go, putting his hands up in a gesture of peace as he backed away. His cheery smile didn't fade at all though; Kanda decided that if he ever wanted to feel sane around the red-head than he'd have to wipe that damned smile off his face.

Kanda sheathed Mugen, tch-ed, then went on his not-so-merry way. Lavi followed. Kanda whipped his head around to look at his tag-along over his shoulder, his glare at full-power. This annoyed Kanda even more; he'd never had to use his glare's maximum power before, usually a glower was all that was necessary. But Lavi was bending all the rules of Kanda, and refused to be effected by anything that wasn't positively life-threatening.

"Why won't you just leave me alone!? I've only been here two days, in that short amount of time, I can't imagine I did anything that would make me seem so horribly interesting to you! Do you not have some responsibility or other to be attending to? Or are you just following me to avoid working?"

Lavi thought Kanda's words over for a minute; it was all true, in a way. All Kanda had done since he got here was train, eat, and sleep, and as enjoyable as it was to watch the pretty boy work up a sweat, it didn't take long before he had the image perfectly memorized, and therefore, the need to actually watch the older boy was lessened. And Lavi did indeed have important business to go about doing, he had yet to write his oh-so-important logs for the past two days, he had a load of reading and memorizing to do, and Bookman was bound to give him a flying kick to hell when he actually found Lavi. Lavi was most definitely avoiding work. And an angry Panda-jiji.

"Hm... you're correct on all points. But still... you are a very, _very_, interesting person in your own right. You're rather complex, and it's in my nature to want to figure things out. Besides, I told you yesterday..." Lavi paused, giving Kanda a sly look; boy it was fun to tease the new kid. "I like cute things."

Kanda snarled in response. For one, he didn't like the fact that Lavi was being around him for the soul purpose of dissecting and inspecting his mind; he didn't like how the boy seemed to want to expose his real self for no other reason than to do so. Also, Kanda most definitely didn't like being referred to as a "Thing". He was a human being, and an exorcist, he should be referred to as such! Lavi really needed to drop the "cute" bit too, because Kanda was not cute!

"Well I am not a "Thing", so if you like cute things I would suggest a teddy bear for you instead."

"Awe you wanna be my teddy Yuu-chan? Thou I prefer rabbits..."

Kanda scoffed, this guy was truly an idiot! Rolling his eyes, he turned away from the baka usagi, to continue on his way to his room.

"Awe, do ya have to get so mad? Geez, you're so sensitive, you're like a girl. Really, are you sure you're not...I'd be glad to check..."

Kanda was once again ready to kill Lavi, Kanda was not sensitive, and he was NOT girly. So, to quell his fury, he stalked back over to Lavi, punch his gut, then continued to storm off to his room.

_For fuck's sake what is with that guy!? I swear never in all my life has anyone been so damned persistent in annoying me! Everywhere I go he's talking in my ear, hugging me, getting too close to me in general! I don't care if he's bored, happy, or dead, he just needs to leave me alone! That dumb bastard, always saying and doing indecent things..._

Yes, after only two days, Kanda had already labeled Lavi as annoying, indecent, persistent, and dangerous in his own way. Kanda really needed to think of something that would get Lavi to lay off him.

000

Lavi watched the young Japanese walk down the hall in his swishy manner, and sighed. He wasn't being very fair to the poor kid, and he knew it. Kanda was simply just trying to keep to himself, and Lavi was making that as difficult as possible. Really, the only thing that had caught Lavi's interest the other day was how beautiful the boy was, but was that really enough to warrant his behavior? No, and it most definitely wouldn't be enough to explain why he'd kissed Kanda either. It had been a while before he realized that the conservative child was probably very shaken by being kissed by another boy.

Still, Lavi couldn't help himself, he was bored and Kanda was such a fun person to annoy. He wondered just how long this new boy could hold his interest, how long it would be before Lavi had discovered everything and then moved on when the air of mystery was stripped away.

_hm... though he seems like a tough case, I get the feeling that if I find out something really important, then the rest will come out easily... I'll give him six months at best. If he still seems interesting to me then... well then maybe by then he'll be more than just my source of entertainment..._

Lavi couldn't help but scoff at the idea as he walked down the halls to his own room, there was no way any human could still be interesting to him after just half a year, there was nothing he hadn't seen before. Besides, he was a Bookman, who could inspire anything more than schadenfreude in him?

No one, surely. Besides, there was no guarantee that Lavi would be around long after the six months were up, or if he'd even be here six months at all. Bookman had warned him that this log would be different from the other's Lavi had done though, and told him that they would be staying here much longer, so Lavi was simply assuming he would have plenty of time to go about his games.

And what fun he would have playing them.

**So that word count for this one is a bit shorter than the first, but that's only to be expected, after all, the original was intended to be able to stand as a one-shot if Saya couldn't think of anything for it... so here's the LaviYuu that you all are so supportive of! Thank you for encouraging Saya to continue!**


	3. A Challenge is Issued

**And more LaviYuu for youuuuuu! Whahaha puns. And OMC OMC OMFCROSS. This chapter exceeds Saya's 2000 word barrier! None of her other stories on have chapters that go over 2000(unless they're one-shots) and here one finally is... bwuahaha Saya's so damned proud. **

**Saya owns the play but not the actors, they belong to Hoshino-ka.**

**Rated K-ish...because nothing so horrid has happened at this point.**

3. A Challenge is Issued

Kanda walked, his head as high as ever though he felt like hanging it in defeat. Lavi spoke insistently, sometimes spouting random facts, sometimes nonsensical stories, and sometimes lascivious words that Kanda ignored just like he did everything else.

Still, Kanda could only take so much. It had been all of two weeks since he'd come here, and already Lavi seemed magnetically attracted to his side. The workers of the Tower were starting to think they were "friends" or whatever, and it was already considered weird for Kanda to be anywhere without Lavi.

He tried threatening Lavi, but that only bought him so much alone time. As soon as Lavi's fear wore off he was back at Kanda's side. What was worse was that these periods of fear were shortening. Kanda figured that soon enough he'd have to start drawing blood just to get a minute to himself.

Kanda was glad that Lavi seemed to know his true limits though, or that he at least had some sense of privacy. He never would follow Kanda into his room, and Kanda was thankful that he had that one safe recluse. Kanda would most definitely kill Lavi if he did come in, and if Kanda killed Lavi he was sure to be scolded, and he was sure to take that badly. Still, as safe as his room was, he refused to just hole up in there, his pride would not allow him to commit such a cowardly act, who's afraid of the annoying redhead?

"You know... I've lost count of how many times I've asked this already but I'll ask again... WHY WON'T YOU LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE?!" Kanda roared; Lavi pretended to be blown back by the volume of his voice.

"You've asked that 42 times. And it's simple, as I've told you 42 times, you're interesting."

"I'm not that interesting." Kanda said, storming down the halls, Lavi kept up with him.

"You know... you're absolutely right. You're really not all that interesting at all. Rather boring actually," Lavi said, as though he were disappointed. Kanda was rather grateful that Lavi was finally catching onto what he was saying, though a small part of him he refused to acknowledge was slightly pained by Lavi's comment.

"Good. Then leave me alone."

"Naw... I've got an idea... a challenge for you."

At this Kanda spared Lavi a questioning look, Kanda was never one to pass up a good challenge, but he wouldn't let on to his interest.

"You've got 5 and a half months to get me completely captivated by you."

Kanda wanted to hit his head against the wall, he liked a _good_ challenge, not a challenge where winning meant having this pest become a permanent fixture to him! Kanda's shoulders shook with rage, did it _look_ like he wanted Lavi's interest?

"You... ARE SUCH AN IDIOT! I _DO NOT_ want to "captivate" you! Give me a month or a year it doesn't matter because I will not do anything of interest, nor will I attempt to catch your interest, because I do not WANT your interest or attention! I just want to be alone!"

Kanda was certain he would not be sane by the end of his career as an exorcist; hell, he was hard-pressed to believe he'd be sane by the end of the week.

"Awe, you say that but I know it's not true. You love me, don't ya Yuu-chan?"

Kanda scoffed at the very idea that he could love the ever-annoying Lavi. "Are you even listening to the absolute crap that comes from your mouth!? If I 'loved' you, would I be so eager to kill you?!"

"'To hate is to love, and to love is to hate.' They are both just mutilated forms of the same emotion."

"Yeah... if that's true then why haven't my parents tried to kill each other yet?"

"I can guarantee that your mother has threatened your father at least once, if not more so."

"Oh really? And why would she do that?"

"Because thanks to your father she got to experience the miracle of birth."

For a moment, doom enveloped Kanda. For one, according to his brother, who just loved to traumatize him, his mother truly had tried to kill father during both his and his sister's births. of course, he then went on in excruciating detail about the whole birthing process also, and said that if Kanda ever got a girl pregnant that he should run for his life. Kanda hadn't wanted or needed to know any of that.

_shit, he's making sense! Shiiiiiiit! Damn you nii-san! Damn you to HELL!_

000

Meanwhile in a distant island country the eldest Kanda son sat on the balcony of their average-sized abode, where as he took a sip of the steaming tea before him, sneezed. Tea went everywhere, and he started choking on it. But as was his nature, he laughed it off as soon as he was physically able to. His younger sister who sat beside him looked over to see if he was alright.

"Nii-san...?"

"I-I'm fine!" He coughed out with little effort.

"Someone must be talking about you. What did you do this time Hayate-nii?"

Hayate laughed lightly at his sister's question. "I'm hurt! I have done nothing as of late that would get me into trouble if that's what you were thinking my dear Naoko! I bet it's our adorable, sweet Yuu-chan talkin' about how great his older brother is!"

"Nii-san..."

"Yes?"

"If Yuu-nii is talking about you, he's probably cursing you."

"... You're mean."

"No, I'm simply stating the truth from an objective point of view."

"Yes... but must you be so blunt..."

000

Lavi was following Kanda happily as the boy continued to re-suffer the trauma his brother had put him through, it really had nothing to do with Lavi being there anymore. Lavi was just happy that he wasn't being constantly glared at. Even though he was the cause of it, he really didn't much like the tense atmosphere that came with bugging Yuu. But then again, it was no fun to get no reactions from the boy either.

"Geez Yuu-chan... it's like you're not even listening..."

"I'm not..."

"Then why'd you answer?"

"Shut up..."

Kanda decided he'd had all of the usagi he could stand, and so made his way to his room, slamming the door in Lavi's face when he got there.

"Sweet silence..."

Finally he could relive the horrors of having an older sibling in peace.

000

"Waaaaaaah Lenaleeeeeeeee! Yuu-chan hate's meeeeee!" Lavi whined out, he felt like being dramatic and childish, besides, it sorta went along with his assumed personality of a bratty, silly, and lighthearted child.

the two sat in an abandoned corner of the library, books piled all around them on the small, square table they occupied.

"Well... you do tend to do things that you know will annoy him... I think he just needs you to give him some space. He's a fairly pleasant person if you just respect his boundaries," Lenalee said, speaking from experience. She had watched what Lavi said and did around Kanda, and was sure to never make his mistakes. It is said that one can learn from the wrong-doings of fools... Kanda was never so rude to her as he was towards Lavi, he had a tendency to be rather polite really, if not somewhat cold.

"Yeah but then he's no fun!" Lavi said, bringing his head off the table and looking up, not a hint of the tears that had been gushing out like rivers just moments ago. Lenalee sighed and shook her head.

"You're definitely the only one who thinks that... only you seem to enjoy getting him angry."

Lavi secretly liked that fact. He was the only one who was brave enough to annoy Yuu; but then that could just be stupidity. Still, he was special in that way, the only one who would, and at this point, probably the only one who _could _get Kanda as annoyed as he did. He was special, and what human doesn't like that?

"Yeah... I s'pose that annoying the livin' daylights out of someone constantly is a good reason for them to hate a guy... but still...!"

_At least he admits it's his fault..._

Lenalee sighed, giving an awkward smile. Honestly, she had no idea what to make of the duo really. It had only been about 2 years or so since Komui came to be the Supervisor of the building, and though her people skills were good, and she was friendly, she still had a lot to re-learn about human interaction. Does someone doing this mean that, and what-not.

"Well I'll just have to win him over!" Lenalee was pretty sure that the most Lavi would get out of Kanda as far as relationships go would be tolerance. She hadn't thought that Kanda would be a people person from the beginning, and he proved her right immediately. And when one adds all of Lavi's past transgressions, including the ones she had no clue about, well she'd be surprised if Kanda ever managed to stand Lavi at all.

"Um...do ... your best?" Was all she could offer, not sure of what to say in this situation.

"I will! So wanna go to dinner?" Lavi asked, getting up. She nodded smiling, and got up to follow, ever amazed at how quickly he could change the subject.

000

Kanda ate his soba in peace, very happy to have gotten rid of Lavi earlier, it meant he got some time to himself to savor his food. Even he would admit that Jeryy's cooking was head and shoulder's above the rest, though nothing could quite compare to his mother's home cooking.

A sudden premonition came to him, and he decided that maybe he'd better speed up his eating. He never seemed to be fast enough to avoid the red-head though.

"I've been looking all over for ya Yuu!" Lavi called, walking leisurely across the dining hall with Lenalee, who was looking nervous. Kanda was overcome by angry twitching. Ever since he'd joined the Order, something he hardly did of free will, he'd been regretting it. And it was all thanks to Lavi. He slammed his chopsticks down on his tray, and made his way out of the room, a pouting Lavi followed. Lenalee was just a bit too hungry and a bit too sane to follow them.

Kanda decided on a calmer approach, maybe, just maybe, if he tried to be diplomatic or whatever, he could get the boy to leave him be for so many hours a day.

"So why were you looking for me?" His even voice surprised Lavi some-what, he'd been expecting yelling.

"No reason... it's not the same without dear Yuu-chan around..." Lavi said, adding fake sniffles for effect. Kanda scoffed, two weeks was hardly enough time to make his absence so horrible.

"You really wont quit will you?"

"Nope, not until your 5 ½ months are up and you've proven yourself utterly boring, or utterly riveting."

"I don't need half a year to prove what I have already in two weeks."

"Yeah... but I get the feeling you're trying to be boring, which means that you've actually gotta have something intriguing about you that you just don't want people to know."

"I just don't want to know people."

Lavi slung an arm over Kanda's shoulders, sighing as though the older boy was a hopeless case. He was rather surprised that the Japanese didn't shrug him off.

"Well I wanna know you so... I guess you'll have to know someone."

"I just have to do something of interest and you'll go away for a little bit... right...?" Kanda asked, an idea coming to mind.

"Er...hm... sure, but the question is, can you do it?" Lavi asked, overly enthusiastically. Kanda smirked, and turned to face Lavi. Seeing as Lavi's arm had been over his shoulder, the two were extremely close. Kanda's eyes settled into a lazy gaze, one that was incredibly attractive. Lavi raised an eyebrow, was Kanda comin' on to him? Kanda moved his face forward, his lips hovering closely to Lavi's ear.

"Then I'll just have to do something ...interesting." Kanda whispered, and then his smirk turned into something more of a maniacal grin as he kneed Lavi where the sun don't shine. Pulling away from the other boy quickly, Kanda took a minute to catch Lavi's pain-stricken expression, before walking down the halls to the training area. He could forgive himself for dealing a low blow and for using an admittedly girly move; that was bound to keep Lavi away for a while, and Kanda liked to be alone when he trained.

**Kanda's so cruel...xD**

**notes and stuff! So Saya went on a name search, looking for nice names for Kanda's siblings, and because the names came with their meanings (which is what Saya was really looking for) She decided on "Hayate" which means "smooth" which his brother most definitely is not, and "Naoko" means "honest child" which she definitely is. Saya also found that the word for her real name in Japanese is Ri. She wonders if that's pronounced "Rie" or "Ree"...**

**Anyways, thanks Kuro-chan for expressing interest in Kanda's family, if you hadn't, surely they wouldn't have made their little cameo here. And boy was that fun... And by the way, Hayate and Kanda's relationship (i.e. Kanda's childhood trauma) was kinda based off of two of Saya's best friends... she loves you guys and you know it :D**

**sorry for babbling...**


	4. Languages

**Ah, this story is so fun... LaviYuu for life! These two are fun, but it's kinda hard to write this without getting repetitive... because the cycle is Lavi annoys Kanda, Kanda gets annoyed, Lavi does something embarrassing, Kanda gets more angry, injures Lavi, then leaves. So how to break that cycle...hm...**

**Saya owns the play but not the actors, they belong to Hoshino-ka.**

**Rated K-ish... because a kiss doesn't call for an M rating.**

4. Languages

Kanda had once again, tried and failed to shake Lavi off. He was determined to be as uninteresting as possible, but he didn't realize just how much more interesting that made him seem. Lavi wanted more than anything to destroy all pretenses and see what it was that made the older boy want to stay alone. Lavi had always been an insatiable learner, but the information he wanted this time around couldn't be found in any books.

_well... maybe I could..._

The idea that had come to Lavi involved him exercising his power as a member of the bookman clan, and requesting to view the files of a certain exorcist, a.k.a. Kanda. He could do it if he really wanted to, he could find out all the basics about Kanda, but he'd rather not. It wouldn't be nearly as fun as annoying Kanda for answers would be. Maybe if Kanda made him incredibly desperate he would, but Lavi hardly believed that anyone would be capable of making him so interested in them.

Lenalee came around the corner into the hall that Lavi was currently stalk--_bugging_ Kanda in.

"Oh, good thing I found you two! It's really helpful that you're always together, otherwise finding both of you would prove to be difficult. It's already been an hour or two since I started looking for you guys!" She said. Lavi looked over to Kanda, and watched in amusement as Kanda suppressed his urge to kill; he always tried to be polite to Lenalee, Lavi thought it was quite gentlemanly of him. Which made him all the more cute to Lavi.

The trio of adolescents made their way to Komui's office, Kanda glad that Lenalee was distracting Lavi from him. Lavi seemed to have a weakness for Lenalee, but Kanda suspected that weakness was for women in general... an oddly annoying suspicion. But then again, another part of Kanda suspected Lavi was gay, so if he had to choose, he'd rather Lavi be a flirt...or would he?

000

"Well, congratulations, you two are going on your first mission together!" Komui stated excitedly. Kanda wanted to hit his head on the wall, impale Komui, and wipe Lavi's happy smile off his face all at once. And he swore that one day he would seriously be able to do that simultaneously.

"I figured since neither have you have gone on a mission yet and you're both rookies, and always with each other, this simple mission would be perfect for you two! I get the feeling you'll work very well together! And I simply couldn't bring myself to separate you two!" Kanda was even more pissed off than before, he _WANTED_ to be separated dammit!

"Ok, so it's simple enough. You two will be going to the lovely city of Marseilles, France. There's been a series of unnatural Earthquakes in south-east France lately, and we believe that there may be an innocence under the city somewhere," Komui said, suddenly more serious than the two boys had ever seen him. He handed packets of information over his desk to them through a gap in his mounds of paperwork. "You're going to retrieve it. We haven't had word of many Akuma incidents so far, which leads me to believe that the Earl is not yet aware that the innocence is there, or He's only just heard and is currently on the move there. I want you to get there before this escalates to anything you two can't handle."

The two were dismissed so that they could get ready for their trip the next day. Kanda wanted to get started on reading that packet; While he seemed to have a knack for languages and picked up on English fairly easily, he still had a great deal of trouble with writing and reading it. It seemed that he was in for a long, aggravating night.

"Man this mission's gonna be so boring..." Lavi sighed out as they walked to Kanda's room, where Kanda would inevitably slam the door in the younger's face. "But at least I'll be with Yuu-chan," He added, Kanda swore he just said that to piss him off. But oh no, Kanda would not kill the idiot just yet. If it was so entertaining to see him flip out, then he simply wouldn't, maybe it'd get Lavi off his case sooner.

000

"You're still readin' that thing Yuu-chan?" Lavi asked, rather surprised that Kanda was still trying to read that information packet while on the train. Kanda just grit his teeth and tried to ignore the other. He knew it would be a bad idea to try to read this on the train, but he needed to, he hadn't been able to get through the thick packet of paper the night before. Actually, he gotten pissed, threw the thing, tried to calm down by packing, tried again to read it, got pissed, and the cycle repeated. Kanda didn't like the fact that he wasn't exactly literate. But whatever, English wasn't his first language anyway, and it took years for children actually born in English-speaking countries to learn the language themselves, Kanda decided that being able to pick up a language in less than a year meant he was progressing rather quickly, especially if you consider that his teacher was a artist, and by no means an English teacher.

"So..."

Kanda jumped back, when did Lavi get next to him!? He was sitting across from him just a moment ago!

"So what?! And do _NOT_ sneak up on me you bastard!"

"So how far have you gotten?" Lavi asked, Kanda huffed, he was not going to answer that. Lavi snatched the book up off the ground; In his surprise Kanda had dropped it. Kanda wanted to change that, he was gonna make it so that one day Lavi never surprised him, and if he did, Kanda wouldn't show it.

"You haven't gotten very far at all, huh?" Kanda growled angrily, what was Lavi getting at? If he made one jibe about Kanda's intelligence- "Want some help?"

Kanda blinked, he hadn't quite been expecting that. It hardly mattered though, no way would Kanda ask for help nor accept it.

"You're gonna be stubborn about getting help, aren't you?"

"I don't need help, I can do it on my own."

"Fine, then I'll help you make it easier to do on your own." Lavi said, Kanda just glared at him as he scooted over to Kanda on the seat, seeing as Kanda had backed himself into the wall of their compartment.

"Come on, Yuu. Haven't you ever heard "give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day, teach a man to fish and he'll eat for a lifetime"? I'm just gonna teach you how to read better."

"Nope, never heard that. And reading and fish have nothing to do with each other."

"Kanda Yuu, and if you have a middle name pretend I said that too, if you don't let me help you through this, I can almost guarantee you will not finish this by the time we make it to Marseilles. Unless you want to make an ass of yourself on your first mission by not knowing what the hell you're doing, you will let me help you."

Kanda gaped slightly, was Lavi _scolding_ him? While Lavi had indeed made some good points, he had actually had the gall to scold him! Who would've thought the redhead could be serious?

"Che..." Was all Kanda responded with. Lavi took that as an "ok, I will not kill you for helping me, but the fact that you did will never leave this compartment." Quite a message to send with one little word. Kanda sat back down, looking completely indignant as Lavi helped him through page after page.

000

The train was slowing down, any minute it would arrive in the station. The finder, Michael, who sat outside the door of the exorcist's cabin turned to open it. He was a tall, well built man, who was very fatherly, with much experience in the field, the perfect finder for two adolescent rookies. As he entered he let out a soft "awe"; Kanda and Lavi, after a long and exhausting train ride of bickering and reading, had fallen asleep, Lavi's head resting on top of Kanda's, the information packet that was opened to the last page lay on Kanda's lap.

"U-um, we're almost there, Sir Kanda, Sir Lavi," Michael said, not really wanting to wake the children up. Kanda's eye shot open immediately upon hearing another voice, Lavi's head fell from his head to his shoulder, and Kanda glared at the still unconscious bookman-child.

"Wake up now or you will never wake again," He hissed angrily; The threat to Lavi's life seemed to wake him. Or not.

"Waah...Yuu-chan...five more minutes..." Lavi said tiredly, snuggling up to Kanda and hugging his shoulders like he was snuggling into a pillow. A samurai-shaped pillow. Kanda was tense with anger, more than ready to kill Lavi.

"How about one more second before I end your life?"

Lavi straightened out groggily, not wanting to get up at all, but not wanting to die. Their finder was just glad that Kanda didn't really kill Lavi, he seemed like the type who would be especially murderous upon waking up.

"You're so mean Yuu... ya know one day you're gonna want me to snuggle with you and I'm gonna say "No, I value my life you murderous prick." See? It doesn't pay to drive me away."

"I WILL NEVER WANT TO... TO...GAH!" Kanda let out a string of curses as he got his luggage down from the over-head compartments, being sure to hit Lavi over the head with his suitcase.

"OOOOOOW. I'm making you pay my medical bills!"

"Please, if you're such a baby as to be hurt by _that_, then I think you've taken up the wrong job. Have fun getting killed on the battle field," Kanda said, turning his back to Lavi and exiting the compartment. Lavi followed out soon afterwards, deciding that maybe it would be best for his health to stay out of arm's reach of Kanda until the child was fully awake. So he walked behind him, just following the boy ahead of him who was following their finder.

"Ya know, I hadn't really noticed this until now, but you kinda swish when you walk. And the way your hair hangs, it's like you're begging for a cat to come along and bat it around. I wanna bat it around... and I'm not even a cat."

"Touch my hair and you lose a hand."

"Why do you threaten people anytime they mention touching you at all? Are you aphephobic?"

"Not aphephobic, _homo_phobic."

"Ouch Yuu-chan, that hurts, I am not gay. Whatever gave ya that idea?"

Kanda's eyes twitched, he could think of plenty of things that made him think that. His disbelief was quite obvious.

"You don't believe me? Fine, I'll prove I love women! All ages, sizes, and classes I love 'im!" Lavi declared, walking away from their small group, right up to a group of ladies who seemed to be in their early twenties. Kanda's jaw almost dropped, Lavi was actually going to flirt with a bunch of strangers to prove that he wasn't gay?

Kanda and Michael starred incredulously as Lavi talked to the ladies, making them blush and giggle, saying things that the two could not hear and winking afterwards. Kanda was slowly getting more and more pissed, what on earth did Lavi think he was doing? He glared at Lavi with all the intensity of a basilisk, as though he would be able to convey his angry message to Lavi through the air. Lavi could feel Kanda burning holes into him with his stare, and looked over, smirking at Kanda over his shoulder, he had the audacity to smirk at him!

Completely angered he stormed over to Lavi, grabbing his arm and dragging him away from the growing gaggle of women.

"Qui était cette fille? Sa petite amie?"

"Non! C'etait un garcon!"

"C'etait son petit ami?!"

"Vraiment! Les mecs de nos jours!"

Lavi heard the women's conversation as Kanda pulled him away, ranting about how idiotic and irresponsible he was for flirting before he even started his first mission. Lavi knew that Kanda had probably heard the girls himself, but he also knew that Kanda wouldn't understand them. But Lavi did, and as much as he'd love to tell Kanda what they were saying, he decided that it'd be his little secret to bring up anytime he felt like annoying Kanda.

**ok, what those women are saying is this (roughly, sorry if this is a little coarse, Saya's new to french) "Who was that girl? His girlfriend?" "No! that's a boy!" "That's his **_**boy**_**friend?!" "Really! Boys in this day and age!"** **Lavi's so bad...love it...**

**anyways, on other things, apparently, there really were a bunch of earthquakes in the early 1900's around south-east France. **

**and Aphephobia is the fear of being touched, or touching others. **

**anyways... yay for another chapter over 2000 words! poor Kanda... and thank you Animefan66 for helping saya with this chapter! **


	5. Le Chat

**Eh...yeah... the stupidity in this chapter...Saya wasn't gonna use it but...it came to mind and refused to be ignored...Saya seems to have a thing for writing crack...and the title means "The Cat", for those of you who didn't guess... **

**Saya owns the play but not the actors, they belong to Hoshino-ka.**

**Rated K-ish... because a kiss doesn't call for an M rating.** **Rating will probably change as it gets more violent and the two get older...**

5. Le Chat

In Kanda's opinion, there had never been a more retarded, idiotic mission. Surely there had never been a mission that had started so normally and ended so stupidly. And surely there would never again be a mission so completely asinine that he would have to chase down some stray animal to complete it.

000

Their mission in Marseilles had started in an average way, that they were sure every mission would start in, finding the places where the Innocence was likely to be. So they had first gotten information on the earthquakes, specifically where the epicenter was. That had been easy enough to find out, and it had been just as easy to get there. Their finder Michael simply lead the way to the edge of the city, to where it met forest. This was where the slightly difficult, but annoyingly simple part of their task came in, they had to scour the forest for the Innocence, if it was really there at all.

But it had been there, luckily for them. Even more luckily, they found it after only a few hours of search. The raw innocence certainly didn't look like Kanda had expected it to; for it differed from the way his own raw innocence had looked, but it certainly didn't look like it belonged in a tree. It was rather strange, really, it stuck to a hollow in the tree like some abnormal growth. And it glowed, a definite clue that it did not belong in a deciduous tree.

"Oi, Idiot, this is Innocence, right?" Kanda asked, pointing into the hollow. Lavi sighed, a small, tired smile on his face as he walked over.

"The Name's Lavi, Yuu. Not Idiot, Lavi. Say it with me now, La. Vi." When he was within arm's length Kanda punched him, but not nearly as hard as he could've; after all, he was asking a question.

"Sure looks like innocence to me. Now how to get it out..." The mysterious substance was fused with the wood, it looked. Kanda was wondering how something above ground had managed to cause earthquakes, when as far as he knew (which wasn't very far) they started below ground. It took him a minute to decide on an appropriate answer to his question; trees have roots underground, therefore the Innocence's power was travelling through the tree and into the ground. That satisfied the samurai's need for an explanation, as far off as it may or may not have been. Lavi was just glad that they wouldn't have to conduct an (attention-attracting) excavation to some point 30-old kilometers into the earth's crust. A project so large and so time expending would certainly draw Akuma to them, which would most likely result in this mission going over their heads.

Kanda pulled Mugen from it's sheath, mentally sighing at the fact that he was going to use his precious sword in such a stupid way, when a pocket knife could've done the same thing, and probably with a little more ease, considering the fact that trying to carve something out of the hollow fo a tree while on the other side of a long katana was rather difficult. But, he somehow managed, though the innocence seemed determined not to be ripped from it's resting place. Kanda would gladly cut the entire damned tree down if that's what it took to get the innocence out of that forest so that he could go back and rest; there was some truth in the old saying "if you want to hide a tree, put it in a forest", it was unexpectedly hard to find the innocence, as simple as the actual task was. But then again, "simple" and "easy" aren't always synonymous.

"Thank God that this day is over! I'm gonna crash the second we get back!"

"..."

"Too tired to talk, eh? Come on, have a little more energy! Be a little more excited! We just successfully accomplished our first mission!"

"..."

"I get it! You're disappointed that our lovely mission together is over! You wanted to spend more time with me in this country of beauty and romance!"

"OH WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP! I am not too tired to talk, I simply do not_ WANT_ to. And the mission we just finished was probably the stupidest, more time-consuming thing I've ever had the displeasure of doing. It didn't help that I was accompanied by an idiot who took every chance he got to flirt with the locals."

"Jealous Yuu?"

"AND THAT'S ANOTHER THING! I am not disappointed at all that this mission is ending, if I'm lucky my next mission will be a nice, long mission without you. And why would I be jealous of some random girls you chose to talk to? They can have you."

"S-so cold...I s'pose the Ice Queen has spoken..." Lavi said, sniffling like a kicked rabbit. There was much twitching on Kanda's part, but as much as he wouldn't admit it, he was indeed tired, too tired to bother with hitting Lavi for the queen comment. Besides, it's not like he could deny being a frigid bastard, but he was a boy bastard dammit.

Silence overcame the weary duo, a silence Kanda was glad for, while Lavi felt oddly uncomfortable in, he didn't usually have a problem with silence, maybe it was because he had gotten used to being loud?

Something brushed by Kanda's ankle, and without really doing any mental work, immediately thought of Lavi, the only person who touched him at all. His mind completely overlooked the fact that in order to touch his ankle, Lavi would actually have to bend over and stop moving forward, which he was still doing. Kanda looked down, anger radiating from his being. It was a cat. A cat, rather plump one that looked to be in great health, was walking by his feet, rubbing it's head against him, hoping for his attention. Even though the thing looked so well taken care of, the fact that it had no collar was an obvious sign that it was a stray. The french do love their domestic animals, even if they were strays, it seemed.

Kanda glared down at the thing, not wanting to deal with an animal but not having the energy or motivation to kick it away. He wasn't much into animal abuse, even if he couldn't care less about animals.

"Er...there's a cat at your feet Yuu," Lavi said, pointing out the obvious.

"I know..." Kanda ground out, wanting to punch Lavi just for pointing out something he knew. The creature looked up, with an adorable look of innocence and anticipation on it's face; it obviously expected something from Kanda, seeing as he had stopped because of it. Kanda just glared at it and decided to keep walking; he hated innocent, cute things. The cat followed.

"Che...this thing's following us..."

"No, it's following you. I never woulda guessed you were a cat person Yuu-chan, how cute!"

"I'm not. I don't see why this stupid cat would want to be near me anyways, it makes no sense."

"Well, maybe it just has weird tastes and likes you."

"Baka, animal's don't cut and chose, they like whoever feeds them."

"Not true, my simple-minded compadre. Cat's are complicated creatures, ya never know why one might get attached to one person and not another."

"...Whatever, let's just ditch the thing." Kanda said, rolling his eyes at Lavi. The cat did not want to let him escape, however. It was also quite annoyed with the fact that Lavi was getting more attention than it was. The cat seemed to march over to Lavi, giving him it's best glare. Lavi blinked down at the thing, with a mix of disbelief and amusement.

"Hehe, this kitty's jealous of me, 'cause I've got all your attention. See, even animals can tell you're into me."

"That cat is high on catnip, most likely then, because I am not into you. And you hardly have my attention at all."

The cat gave a quiet growl, and Lavi realized that getting this thing to lay off was gonna be difficult. The mini-feline pounced on Lavi, attaching itself to the front of his shirt. Lavi, not expecting an attack from anything but an Akuma, fell back, the thing was unexpectedly heavy. Then, it happened. The innocence, which had been in Lavi's pocket, fell to the ground. The cat looked over to it, and then to Kanda, who's attention had gone to the innocence the moment it hit the ground. Realizing it had another, bigger, competitor for Kanda's attention, the thing jumped off of Lavi, landing next to the innocence. It looked down at the thing once and then...

"My God... Yuu...did that cat just..."

"I'M GONNA KILL THAT THING!"

000

Kanda was still shaking with anger after they got back to their hotel. They had had to chase down that pesky cat, and wait for it to cough up a hair ball 'o innocence; it had taken forever and it was now incredibly late. Kanda decided that the devil must love cats, if he was not one himself. The Earl probably liked cats too. Kanda, on the other hand, decided that cats needed to disappear off the face of the planet.

"That... was so... exasperating..." Lavi said, even he seemed a bit annoyed by the turn of events. "I swear I will never own a cat."

Kanda agreed whole-heartedly for once. He walked numbly over to his bed, wanting to fall face-first into the soft mattress and curl up like a little kid, but refrained, he was sharing a room after all, he couldn't act like that in front of another, relaxing was something he could only do when alone. Instead he sat on the edge, taking his shoes off before stretching across the bed slowly, the old bedframe not making a sound as he did so. Lavi however, chose to do all the plopping, bouncing, and noise-making he wanted as he descended. On Kanda's bed. Was this child alright in the head?

"You have a supreme death wish, don't you?"

"Noooooo, it's just fun to cuddle with you, Yuu-chan!"

"Like I said, you have a death wish."

Kanda looked like he was ready to explode, as an angry flush came to his face, and he turned on his side, his back now to Lavi. He was too tired to put up much of a fight today, he just wanted to sleep, and prayed that the redhead would let him. Lavi tried to move closer to Kanda, willing to take advantage of the fact that Kanda wasn't killing him, and Kanda noticed the shift of weight on the bed.

"Come any closer and I will skin you and feed you to that cat."

Lavi sighed. "You's so mean Yuu." Kanda tensed, Lavi noticed. He had gotten close enough so that Kanda could feel his breath on the back of his neck, which was exposed, seeing as his hair was still pulled into a rigid ponytail. Lavi wanted to change that, he'd love to see Kanda's hair down. Surely, he'd look even more beautiful and even more dangerously androgynous than before.

Lavi's hands moved quickly, and he pulled the tie out of Kanda's hair, making satin strands of ebony pool over the bed. Kanda immediately turned, sitting up, anger written clearly over his face, his hair moving around him perfectly, framing his face just so.

"Stunning..." Lavi murmured unconsciously, not intending to let his opinion slip out. Kanda's anger was accompanied by incredulity.

"What do you think you are _doing_!?" Kanda nearly yelled, his glare like a snake's.

_Or maybe like that stray cat...maybe that's why the thing liked him so much...he glares a lot..._

"Didja really plan to sleep with your hair up like that? Dunnit hurt?"

Kanda had to mentally agree with that, he didn't usually sleep with it up because it is annoying and sometimes painful, but he had been so tired he's simply forgotten about that.

"I was takin' it down for ya." Kanda sighed, allowing himself to fall back onto the bed with a thud, once again turning from Lavi, and increasing the distance between them. What was done was done, it wasn't like Kanda was going to put his hair back up and then take it down, just for the sake of doing it himself.

"Just leave me the hell alone..."

"But of course, 'night Yuu-chan."

"Tch..."

_Ah...Yuu. You can say you want me to get away until you turn blue in the face, but it doesn't mean a thing if you don't make me leave. Really, the more you tell me to get away, the more it shows you want me around. You're such an open book and you don't even realize it._

**Woot! Another one over 2000! Saya's doin' pretty good, this is three in a row! So...does this chapter warrant a few explanations? Sure, why not. For one, if a cat can eat Timcampy, it can most certainly eat innocence, those lil' guys have the digestive system of doom in DGM. And another thing, the "Simple" vs. "easy "thing was something Saya learned in church. Her pastor made a pretty good point, something can be simple to understand, but hard to actually do. Kinda like... giving up drugs or something, the concept of put them down and never pick them up again is simple, but it's not easy to do. **

**and just so you all don't kill Saya because you think she's a cate-hater, she loves cats, even though she's allergic. Well, Saya has a World History paper to do...ciao lovelies.**


	6. Attack: the Start of Trouble

**So here's more of what's rapidly becoming Saya's fav pairing! Really, the way they are...it makes Saya squee! Really, Lavi's annoying Kanda into fallin' for him...ohohohooooo...Lavi you bad boy...keep it up :3**

**Saya owns the play but not the actors, they belong to Hoshino-ka.**

**Rated K-ish... because a kiss doesn't call for an M rating.** **Rating will probably change as it gets more violent and the two get older...**

6. Attack: the Start of Trouble

Kanda woke up slowly, feeling an abnormal pressure circling his waist; he had the sinking suspicion that he was being held. He didn't want to open his eyes and see the inevitable truth-he had allowed Lavi to share a bed with him.

"If I open my eyes and you are touching me I will kill you," Kanda stated loudly, he wouldn't let Lavi off the hook for just being asleep. He heard a muttered "damn" from behind him, but was not released. Twitching ensued.

"You've got five seconds. 5...4...3..." Kanda was enraged by the fact that he had actually made it to one before Lavi had seen fit to let him go.

"Geez Yuu-chan, you're so different when you're asleep. I knew you'd be a closet teddy-bear," Lavi said, as he sat up and ran his fingers through locks of fiery hair. Kanda didn't get up, he just froze; he didn't do anything...un-Kanda-ish, did he? Even though he wasn't facing Lavi, his panic was apparent.

"Yeah. You kept movin' closer to me, It was so cute! You were just begging to be hugged!" Kanda internally groaned, someone needed to tell him that he hadn't really done that, and that the red-head was just spewing out falsities.

Lavi grinned at the still-laying child's panicked state. He was completely rigid, and Lavi could guess that Kanda's eyes were comically wide as he starred at the wall in front of him in horror.

"Yup, Yup. And you were sayin' my name the entire night, all sorts of things I never thought I'd here from innocent Yuu-chan."

Kanda's panic turned into relief and anger, now it was obvious that Lavi was lying; his voice had taking on a teasing tone that implied that he was merely trying to make Kanda flustered. Kanda sat up quickly and before Lavi could blink he had punched him, sending the younger boy reeling across the room. He would've preferred to skewer him with Mugen, but not even Kanda slept with his sword. It was on the night stand.

"Do you think before you let that trash out of your mouth!?" Kanda nearly yelled, his face flushed with rage as he glared down at Lavi. Said boy however, wasn't taking the samurai seriously, not to say he ever did in the first place. Instead, he was musing about how even after just waking up, Kanda's hair still managed to look perfect, bedhead and all. Kanda realized he was staring and threw a pillow at him, before getting off the bed himself.

"I hope you get a black eye."

"Heh, even if I did ya couldn't see it. You hit me with your right hand, and my left eye is already covered." Lavi stated, pointing to his eyepatch. Kanda "Hn"-ed, faintly wondering what was under the black patch.

Kanda walked over to Lavi, offering his hand, looking to the side. Lavi stared, then blinked.

"Are you gonna sit and stare all day or are you gonna get the hell up!?" Kanda snapped, and Lavi grinned. "You should try being consistent Yuu-chan. I mean really, punching me one minute, helpin' me up the next...talk about mixed signals." Kanda just scoffed at the comment. He thought he was being pretty clear on the whole "I hate you, leave me alone" thing, but Lavi was just sitting there, he had to get up sometime. Kanda tugged him up, but he wasn't expecting Lavi to practically jump up too. Kanda landing on his back with the wind knocked out of him, and Lavi landed on top of him, stealing a quick kiss. Kanda turned red with anger and embarrassment, had that been planned? Did he just fall into Lavi's trap?

"I should kiss you every morning! You always look _so_ happy afterwards."

"No you shouldn't! Do I look like your wife?!"

"Well you're girly enough..."

This time when Kanda punched him, no one helped him up. Instead, Kanda left in a huff.

000

"So where ya wanna go?" Lavi asked, as the two walked around Marseilles with their finder. "Home," Kanda answered curtly.

"Miss your family, Yuu?"

"I meant Headquarters."

_though I do...but that's none of your business. _

"Awe come on Yuu-chan! Stop being such a wet blanket! No one was expecting us to finish so soon, they gave us tickets for a train that doesn't leave until next week! We've got plenty of time to enjoy the city, so why don't we?"

"Is it so natural for you to take advantage of every opportunity to slack off? We're in a war for Kami's sake, we can't just use some idiot's miscalculation as an excuse to take a break. This is only our first mission! We should head back so that they can give us new missions so that we can get more field experience!"

"You're such a nag Yuu..."

"Well I'd rather be a nag than dead! Komui told us to get back to headquarters _before_ this mission became too much for us, and we're walking targets as long as he have the innocence with us! We've got to head back now," Kanda said, acting as the voice of reason.

"Sir Kanda is right, I've gotten reports of Akuma heading this way. It would be best if you two left the area while you can," Michael advised. Lavi sighed in defeat.

_Man...and I really wanted to get Yuu drunk...that woulda been somethin'._

000

Thanks to their impromptu travelling plans, the two could not get a cabin to themselves on the stuffed train, for which Kanda was both glad and distraught. On the plus side, Lavi would not do anything too forward in public, something Kanda knew from experience. On the downside...was dealing with the crowds worth it? Really, he could always just knock Lavi out, cut off a minor appendage, tie him up, drug him with something that caused horrible hallucinations... there were a number of ways to control Lavi for a few hours.

But what really made Kanda wish for a private cabin was the fact that he could feel an unfamiliar set of eyes on him. A woman, who's face was hidden from view, was sitting a few seats ahead of them. The rim of her hood prevented Kanda from discerning her features, but one thing was for sure, she was staring at him, with a plan in mind.

Kanda took a deep breath, trying to shake off that horrible feeling of being watched. He was actually paying attention to Lavi's incessant chatter, anything to take his mind off the holes which were being burned into his being. He needed to numb his senses a bit, and listening to Lavi talk was definitely mind-numbing, in his opinion.

"Yuu, is somethin' wrong? 'Cause if I didn't know any better, I'd say you're listening to me."

"So you mean you realize that I never listen to you, and yet you continue to talk?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

Kanda scoffed, _what an idiot_.

The train came to a screeching halt, the sound of the steel wheels against steel tracks as they skidded to a stop was head-splitting, and many covered their ears in an attempt to filter out some of the noise. Some yelled in surprise, adding to the noise that assaulted their ears. The train came to a complete stop suddenly, tossing violently; it would seem part of the train had run right off the tracks. When everything calmed, there was a forboding silence, that held a premonition of catastrophe. The silence was broken by the sounds of bullets being fired. Kanda moved quickly, sticking his head out the window. A large Akuma, much larger than any he'd ever seen, was holding the front of the train in it's mouth, it was a snake-like Akuma. It's tail split in two, each having multiple guns on it.

"Dear God, that's got to be a level 2 at least! The reports said the Akuma wouldn't being here until tomorrow!" Michael exclaimed, as he too, starred out the window. Kanda unsheathed Mugen, ready to cut through the wall of the train. As he did so many gasped, and moved away from him; it's not everyday that one sees a foreign adolescent pull out a katana on a loaded train.

"Yuu! You can't just cut through the wall!" Lavi said, looking at Kanda like he was insane. "Why not? This train's not moving again for a while, there's no point in trying to save the train. What's important are the passengers inside, correct?" Lavi had to agree with Kanda's logic, they couldn't waste time thinking of property damages, lives were more important.

Kanda didn't wait for anyone's O.K. before using his impossibly sharp blade to create a hole large enough for himself to easily step though. Lavi followed soon after.

"Wait! You're just kids, you can't deal with a level 2!!" Michael yelled at the exorcists' backs. Lavi looked over his shoulder at the worried man. "We may just be kids, but this is our job, we've got people to protect, right?" Lavi's smile made it impossible to argue with him; it was the slightly sad smile of someone who was going into a battle, and ready for any grim consequences. It saddened the older finder to know that children had to be so mature, and face such battles the way they did. To have their years of youth stolen from them in such a horrible way, what had they done to deserve that?

"Exorcists! Come out! I know you have the innocence!!" The serpent-Akuma yelled, spraying bullets in all directions. It spotted the two exorcists who approached it quickly. In truth, neither of them had any idea what to do; Kanda had only mastered 2 attacks, and only one seal had revealed itself to Lavi. Was there some possible way for them to win with that alone?

"Hey Yuu..."

"What?"

"We're screwed, aren't we?"

"Che."

The Akuma looked down on the teens haughtily, it was confident that two children could do no harm to it. "Foolish kids! You run toward your deaths! Do you think you can kill me!?" Neither of the boys let its taunt get to them, they didn't need to listen to an Akuma.

"I'll cut off the tails, can you distract it up front?" Kanda asked, not taking his eyes off the Akuma, they only had a few more seconds to go before they had to fight.

"Distracting things is what I'm best at!" Lavi stated, and their make-shift plan went into action.

"Odzuchi Kodzuchi, grow, grow, grow!" Lavi shouted, and the hammer's head swelled to the size of the Akuma's head; Lavi was still surprised at how light the thing always was. "Extend!" the shaft extended forward, and the hammer head hit the Akuma square in the jaw. The Akuma was enraged.

"HOW DARE YOU HIT ME! YOU BRAT!"

"HOW DARE YOU ATTACK THE TRAIN! YOU ASS CLOWN!"

Lavi and the level 2 entered a yelling match, that was coupled with Lavi hitting the thing over the head with his hammer, and the Akuma lunging at him, trying to bite him. All the while, Kanda moved towards the back of the Akuma, it was nearly the length of the train! It didn't help that the thing was thrashing around in it's anger. Still, Kanda was just glad Lavi was doing a good job of keeping the thing's attention away from himself.

Enraged by Lavi's comments, and from constantly being hit while it could not pierce Lavi, the Akuma raised it's tails, shooting bullets off in a shower of bright purple. Kanda swore under his breath as he dodged them.

_heh, learning how to dodge and predict Yuu's attacks is actually helpin' me in a battle with an Akuma, who'da thought? _Lavi thought with ironic tones, as he evaded yet another of the Akuma's attacks. Again and again he hit the thing, and again and again it tried to bite down on him, and puncture his small body.

Kanda had finally reached the end of the snake's body, now he just had to find a place where he could cut through both tails with one stroke; he could only do this once, if he failed, then it would realize he was there and it'd be over for him.

Watching the movement of the two tails closely, he noticed that they moved in a circular pattern, crossing extremely close to one another as they did so. If he were to strike at the moment they were closest, there was a good chance that he could get both guns off at once. For a while more he watched, as to memorize the timing. Taking a look over to Lavi, he could see his partner was still fighting vigorously.

Bringing his focus back to the tails, he decided that on their next crossing, he'd have to into the twist of tails. Backing up a little, he ran as fast as he could force his body to move and jumped to an incredible height, thinking of nothing but slicing through the machine at the exact moment he needed to.

**Ugh...Saya's a right horrid fight-writer. Oh well, as the title suggests, this is only the start of something big. Geh...Saya cant think of anything to say so...au revoir. And sorry if this is a crap-chapter...Saya's half-asleep...**


	7. A Life for a Life

**It's baaaack! Neek for new chapter! Saya thinks that the big ya know...thing that gets the plot really moving in this story is going to come to soon. But that's what makes it...whatever it is. Saya will stop babbling now...she's not making sense.**

**Saya owns the play but not the actors, they belong to Hoshino-ka.**

**Rated K-T... because a kiss doesn't call for an M rating.** **Rating will get higher with the chapters. This one's T for violence.**

7. A Life for a Life

Michael helped with the evacuation of the train, getting as many people off as he could. Lavi and Kanda were doing a very good job of distracting the Akuma, it was more eager to fight and kill them than it was to get to the passengers. Still, the occasional traveller who got too close to the fight would be hit by a stray bullet. The train car he was currently in looked empty enough, but he decided to do a once-over, to check for anyone who may have been left behind or injured when the passengers had surged to the exits.

In the seat at the very front of the car, one woman sat, as calm as if she were at a picnic. "Miss, you need to get off, there's an Akuma out there," He said, giving the woman a strange look, why had she not moved at all?

"No, I don't. That thing can't hurt me," She replied, her voice smooth and tranquil.

"Trust me, that thing can kill you. You must leave now."

"The demons cannot kill me. Please, put your worries to rest."

"I can't just leave you here. I'm sorry, but you have to come with me." The hooded figure looked up, yet only her smile was visible; it was wicked. "I do not take orders from men," She said simply, her smile never faltering. Michael's eyes widened, before dulling. In his last seconds of consciousness he looked down, he couldn't see it, but he was sure his heart was gone.

000

With one swing he'd managed to cut the Akuma's tails off. He was a little surprised that he'd done it, but looking back as he fell to the ground, he could see that he really had. Kanda had successfully cut through the Level 2's tails, taking away it's means to shower them with poisonous bullets. The serpent shrieked at the sudden pain of having parts of it's body cut off. The sound was horrible, it graded on Kanda and Lavi's ears, both were sure they'd suffer some permanent damage from that.

Kanda had quite literally hit the ground running, ignoring the sting in his legs as he did so. Now that their enemy had been disarmed, he'd have to help Lavi deal with it up front. The beast writhed in pain, distracted long enough for Kanda to make it to Lavi.

"Wow, who'da though this thing was such a baby, huh Yuu?" Lavi said when Kanda reached him. "Che, it's always the big ones that are weak." Kanda thought the machine was making it's injury out to be worse than it really was. He wouldn't yell and scream in such an undignified fashion has someone cut his arm off or something. Besides, Akuma were just machines, right? Can they really feel pain to such an extent?

The level 2 finally calmed down, it was now ready to fully focus it's rage on the two small exorcists. "YOU LITTLE PUNKS! I'LL MAKE YOU PAY!!" It roared, lunging at the two. Kanda and Lavi split up, each diving in opposite directions in order to dodge the snake's mouth. The two continued to run, dive, and deal their own blows to the Akuma; soon enough they were fighting their fatigue along with the Akuma.

"Dammit...we can't keep doin' this Yuu!"

"Do you have any idea how to get out of this!?"

Their exchange was cut short when the Akuma once again came down on them. Both muttered curses as they jumped away from the Akuma's mouth. Lavi was right though, they really couldn't keep going. Their reactions were slowing from tiredness, breathing was becoming difficult, it was like inhaling fire. Their coordination was lacking now too, and the way the ground was being destroyed, and becoming unlevelled was not helping that in the least. One could hardly recognize this as the place where train tracks had once brought travellers around the country.

Neither of them expected to fall, but if Lavi had been asked who he thought would trip up first, he would've immediately said himself. But instead, it was Kanda, stepping back on an unsettled piece of rubble. One unsure step had sent him falling backwards, and the piece of cement he's stepped on flipped backwards, effectively pinning his foot. He "tch"-ed at the pain, biting into his lip as he worked his foot from under the piece of rubbish.

"Shit! Yuu look out!" Kanda looked up immediately, to stare into the inside of the Akuma's mouth as it lunged at him. He grabbed Mugen, ready to parry the snake's teeth, and as he did the force of the snake's movement pulled his foot from the rubble with the sickening sound of something breaking. He just had to trip over a _heavy_ piece of broken concrete.

Thrown on his back, with Mugen as his only defence, it didn't look good for Kanda; he could already tell walking was going to be difficult too. He was stuck, and it looked like he was about to be killed because of that. His face settled into a look of defiance, no way was he going to die on his first mission at the hands of a pitiful Akuma.

The Akuma lunged again, and Kanda was ready to defend yet again. This time though, something went wrong, very wrong. As the Akuma came down on him, there was an unexpected flash of black. He squeezed his eyes shut as a thick, warm liquid hit his face. A knot of fear was forming in the pit of his stomach, he didn't want to open his eyes.

"Close call, huh Yuu?" More of that hot liquid hit him, and he forced himself to look up. Blood streamed from Lavi's mouth, and a wound in his chest; he'd been run through by the Akuma's tooth. No spots appeared on him though; it would seem that even though the Akuma mimicked a snake, there was no poison in it's fangs.

"Y-you...you idiot! You didn't need to..."

"Awe, don't yell at me now...I did just save your life, Yuu."

Kanda wanted to yell at him, tell him to stop joking. What was the point of one of them living when the other died? The snake pulled away, Lavi still stuck on it's canine. It shook it's head, and Lavi was thrown aside like a rag doll. Kanda was enraged, how dare that monstrosity harm his partner? And how dare that idiot do something so stupid!? What was the point of pulling one of those idiotic hero moves than always ends up killing the person who does it? Kanda had always hated hero-types.

He forced himself to stand, despite his foot's protest. He ran as fast as he could towards the Akuma, which was now enraptured in the glory of killing off an exorcist, and the crazed joy of knowing it could kill the last one.

_Nigentou..._

His eyes widened, he recognized that voice, the voice of his innocence. It had been the same voice that had told him it's name, and the name of it's first attack. It repeated the word again _Nigentou..._ Without needing anything more, he called for Mugen's second state of activation. Grabbing the sheath of Mugen, he watched as both it and the blade of the sword became covered in a glowing energy. His innocence told him what to do, and without thinking he pushed off the ground with all the strength he had left in his small body.

"DIE YOU DISGUSTING AKUMA!" He yelled, and he slashed through the Akuma's head with eight strokes; it was a special technique taught to him by his father, the Hakka Tourou, a move that could only be done with two swords. The Akuma exploded afterwards, the force of the expanding air sent him reeling backwards. His landing was scattered, and he was sure that if his foot wasn't broken before, it sure as hell was now, along with the rest of his leg.

he pushed the pain to the back of his mind, making his way to where Lavi fell as quickly as he could. The other was still alive, but he was already cold, and he'd lost much more blood than was healthy. Kanda frantically tried to use Lavi's coat as a wrap, to soak up the blood, and hopefully stop anymore from coming out. One day he'd say an exorcist's coat shouldn't be used for these things, but at the moment, that particular opinion hadn't yet formed in his mind.

He had threatened it a million times, he had threatened to kill Lavi. Not one of those times did he honestly want the child to stop living though. All those threats made him feel even more responsible for Lavi's current state. he would never admit it out loud, but already, he couldn't think of that dreary castle without the redhead in it. The moment he had stepped into the Black Order, Lavi had been there, Kanda hadn't known an Order without Lavi, and he didn't want to get to know one either. If he could just stop the bleeding!

An unknown voice came from behind him.

"You poor child, your friend is going to die."

000

He woke up slowly; white. It was white, and it was too bright.

_so I'm dead..._

"It's about time you woke up, pain in the ass Usagi."

_so I'm __**not **__dead..._

Lavi turned his head to the side, just that small movement sent pain shooting up and down his body. He ached and felt stiff, and the antiseptic in the air made him sick to his stomach.

"Yuu?" His voice was scratchy from disuse, how long had he been out? "What happened to you?" He asked, starring at Kanda. He was sitting in a chair by the open window, his head turned away from Lavi, as though now that he the boy was awake, he was uninterested. It was a beautiful sight, his face was haloed in the sun light that filtered through the clouds and came through the window, and his hair fluttered in the slight breeze. Lavi was unconcerned with that though, what he _was_ concerned with was the cast that extended from Kanda's foot to his knee, and the way his hands and wrists were wrapped up. The first few buttons of his shirt were undone, and Lavi could see bandages on Kanda's chest too.

"What do you think happened? I had to save your sorry ass after you went and pulled that stupid self-sacrificing crap." He said, with an annoyed huff. Lavi sighed, you never got a break from Kanda Yuu, not even when you were seriously injured.

"So...did we win?"

"Would we be alive if we didn't?"

"Good point. So you killed that thing by yourself?"

"How else would we have gotten out of there?"

It was Lavi's turn to huff, Kanda was the one annoying him for once, with the way all his answers were questions. Could the guy just loose his damned attitude for a minute? A "thank you for saving my life" wouldn't kill him either. Yes, Lavi was a little grumpy, but who could blame him?

"What about the innocence?"

"It's-" Kanda froze, what the hell_ had_ happened to the innocence? He shot up, immediately cursing the pain in his leg; he was feeling half-doped on morphine, but that still wasn't quite enough to erase the pain. Making his uncoordinated way over to where he and Lavi's coats were, he searched their pockets, sighing with relief when he found the innocence still zipped up in Lavi's pocket; Lavi had learned a lesson after the cat ate it, never leave that pocket open.

"It's here," Kanda showed the sphere to Lavi before placing it back into the pocket he'd found it in, zipping it up again. He walked backed to his seat, slower this time, there was no need to rush.

"It's a miracle that we got outta there alive! I was sure I'd be wakin' up to an angel, not a high samurai." Kanda twitched.

"Would you like me to send you to one?"

"Now, now, no threatening your friends," a familiar feminine voice said. Lavi turned his head to the door, to see Lenalee smiling. "I got Ge ge to let me come down here when a finder reported that they had brought you back to Marseilles."

"Really? That's great! You can stop Yuu-chan from killing me in my sleep!"

"Che, like I'd do something so low and pointless."

"Really Lavi, Kanda saved your life, why would he kill you after all the effort he put into saving you?" Lavi looked over to Kanda, who was sporting an indignant flush, and a face that clearly said "busted".

"Awe Yuu-chan! I knew you loved me!"

"Sh-shut up! I only saved you because you went and pulled that stupid move and nearly got yourself killed for my sake! I have some honor you know, I wouldn't leave someone who risked their life for me. Even though it was completely unnecessary!"

_I'll take that as his "Thank you for saving my life."_

Kanda looked out the window in angry embarrassment, stupid girls with their stupid big mouths and their stupid ideas about him saving stupid people.

**aaaaah...Kanda's adorkable... he saved Lavi because he loves him and you know ittttttt! xD but oh, the mysteries! Who was that person one the train who killed Michael? And just how did Lavi survive when he was on the brink of death? Oh boggling the mind! These are key points in the story so don't forget them! **


	8. Not like Yuu

**You guys seem to like this fic a lot, which suits Saya fine, 'cause she loves it too :3 So let's go on with the LaviYuu lovin'.**

**Saya owns the play but not the actors, they belong to Hoshino-ka.**

**Rated K-T... because a kiss doesn't call for an M rating.** **Rating will get higher with the chapters. This one's T for violence.**

8. Not like Yuu

Lavi was surprised when Kanda had decided to stay with him in the hospital. He had been offered the choice to return to headquarters on the next train, but he had almost immediately declined, simply saying it didn't matter where he was, because he'd still be useless as long as his leg was busted. Lavi thought that was odd, Kanda seemed like the type who'd be convinced that he could still go and fight, even if his entire body broke. And as much as Lavi joked, he knew that Yuu wasn't really in some crazy, passionate love with him. Lavi wanted to know the real reason why Kanda had stayed with him.

Lavi had been in the hospital for about a week and a half, and the doctors refused to release him, worried that travelling on some horribly shaking train would aggravate his still-healing wounds. He wouldn't be released for another three days at least, and depending on his healing rate, they might keep him for a few more days after that. All of this basically meant that he had loads of alone time with an anti-social humbug.

Still, it was not time wasted, for he got to observe a few things about the samurai during the time they were together. First of all, Kanda had become much easier to handle, he didn't blow up nearly as much as he did before. Lavi attributed that to the fact that the older child was pretty much high on morphine. The more prominent thing though, was that Kanda's leg didn't seem broken anymore. During the first of few days, Lavi had watched as pain flitted across Kanda's face whenever he put too much pressure on his foot, or forgot to use his crutches when he tried to walk. Now though, Kanda was walking as normally as possible, considering he had a large cast on. It was though the only reason Kanda even bothered with said cast was because the doctor hadn't taken it off yet. Lavi wanted to know just how close to healed that leg was. He had half a mind to get the nurse to give Kanda an extra dose of morphine, so that he could interrogate a drugged Kanda, but decided against doing something borderline criminal.

000

Lavi sighed, he was being released finally on the coming day. As much as he'd like to say this experience had brought him and Yuu closer, he could not. Had he been with anyone else, and had anyone else been the object of his amusement, he probably could've and would've taken full advantage of the opportunity. But alas, he had been stuck with Kanda, who gave no opening for him to do so.

Kanda sat at his bed-side, listlessly cutting apples into the shape of rabbits. It wasn't like he was doing so just because Lavi reminded him of a rabbit and he'd been suffering from over-exposure to said idiot, but more or less because it was something of a habit he had when dealing with sick or injured people. He remembered that anytime his sister Naoko was sick, or just too plain lazy or tired to get up herself (though she was hardly what you'd call lazy), he'd always do this for her, because she thought it was cute, and it made her smile. Kanda doted on his little sister very much, he absolutely adored the girl, and she was one of the only people he smiled around. Kanda wondered if it was because she wasn't annoying, or if it was just natural because he was her big brother.

But then again, he doubted if it had to do with being related, after all, while he'd gladly give his life up to protect his sister, but he'd gladly give up his brother's life to do the same thing. Hayate was another person who he'd have to sit around and care for, but more often than not that was because his brother had this habit of finding fun and creative ways to hurt himself. He too, thought little rabbit-apples were cute. Basically, his older brother was on the same plain of maturity as his little sister. Well, Naoko might've been a little bit more mature than him.

"Awe how cute, Yuu-chan's makin' little bunnies." Lavi gushed, Kanda groaned, it was no wonder he'd hated Lavi from the start, he was too much like Hayate. "Lemme try, I wanna try!" Kanda rolled his eyes at the excited teen, and handed him the plate and knife, wondering dully why the hell he'd stuck around.

Because really, why had he? He could've gone back to headquarters, he could've gone on a new mission. His leg was healed, at the moment he was just playing along with the doctors, because no one would believe him if he said it wasn't still broken. His foot had been pretty much crushed under the slab of concrete when it fell on him, and then his ankle had been broken when the Akuma forced him back. Running and jumping on the injury had only compounded it, and then he had to fall on it at such an awkward angle as to break his tibia. That wasn't the kind of damage that went away after a few days. Despite that though, it was indeed healed, as were the rest of his injuries. He should've just gone back to headquarters, and talked about his oh-so-helpful healing abilities with Komui. He'd never give the actual story though, of course, maybe he could make up some family curse that had spanned generations in his family and had been passed down to him in some bazaar, mystical ritual. They're world was strange enough as it was, it wasn't like anyone could say it was impossible.

Lavi attempted to cut the apple into a rabbit, but failed miserably quite a few times. As careless as he was being while trying to make his bunny, it was no surprise that he ended up sending the knife right into his thumb. He gasped in surprised pain, glaring at his now bleeding thumb.

Kanda went still for a moment, it had only lasted for a second, but for just that instant, pain had shot through his heart as it clenched painfully. No, it wasn't one of those overly-romantic pains, it didn't hurt him just to see Lavi in pain or anything like that, especially since more often than not he was the one causing it. No, this was an actual physical pain, that only lasted a second, but left a brutal aftershock. He had to consciously remember to breathe. As soon as he'd come out of his shock, he quickly grabbed the plate and knife away.

"You idiot! Be more careful!" he scolded, rifting through the night stand that was next to Lavi's bed, figuring a hospital would probably have bandages in the rooms. He tore off a few inches of cloth from the bandage roll, and quickly wrapped up the small wound. "Pay attention to your fingers when you're using a knife fool!" He continued to scold, not paying attention to how Lavi was blinking at him with confusion, and how that confusion was slowly turning into amusement.

"Kiss it and make it better," Lavi said, an innocently evil grin on his face. Kanda "tch"-ed at Lavi's childish request and quickly pulled the finger to his lips. Lavi's jaw dropped, he hadn't really expected Yuu to actually kiss it better, and with so little protest! Honestly, he thought Kanda would bite it off before he kissed it better. "My God Yuu...did you seriously just do that?" Maybe Kanda had a little more morphine that was good for him.

It took Kanda a minute to realize what he'd just done. As soon as he did, he got up and pounded his head on the wall until he felt dizzy. He was intent on forcing his skull to cave in. Lavi got up quickly, maybe a bit quicker than he should have, for he felt a small pain ripple through his stomach, under the stitches that had yet to be removed. Somehow, even though he had been pierced right through, his insides had healed, and all that had remained by the time he got to the hospital were the exit and entrance wounds created by the Akuma's teeth. He tried to restrain Kanda, in order to prevent him from causing himself serious harm. Who would've thought he'd over-react like that?

Kanda stopped moving again as another shock of pain shot through his being. When he found he could, he turned back to Lavi with a glare. "What did you do this time?" Lavi was confused and it showed on his face, what _had_ he done? "You've hurt yourself again, what did you do?!" Kanda seemed so angry, and for no reason, his face was torn between rage, demanding, and maybe, just maybe, worry.

"U-uh I just stood up a little too quickly...are you alright? And how did you know that hurt?" Kanda mentally slapped himself for being an idiot, Lavi didn't know, so of course Kanda's reaction would be confusing.

"_You are connected now, if he is harmed, you will feel it. Protect your heart."_

That voice, that damned voice, it was merely an echo created by his memory, but it held all the mystique of the real thing. It had haunted his dreams, in his nightmares, in those subconscious reproductions of the past. Oh how he loathed ever hearing that voice! Still, had he not...well, things would be very, very different.

Kanda tried to calm his fraying nerves, taking a deep breath. "Nothing, nothing. Just get back into bed, you've still got a day before they release you," Kanda said curtly, looking to the side with a scowl etched onto his feature.

"Awe, wanna hop into bed with me? You do seem like you could use a nap," Lavi joked, taking the serious atmosphere and smashing it into little tiny bits with Nyoibo. Kanda twitched, pulling his fist back to punch Lavi. He stopped mid-hit though, he'd probably go into cardiac arrest if he punched Lavi across the room. Instead he settled for stomping back over to his abandoned chair and sitting with a huff.

Lavi gave a small pout, he was almost disappointed that Kanda hadn't hit him. But even more than that, the fact that Kanda hadn't tried to hurt him for his comment, regardless of the fact that it was rather innocent compared to other's he'd made before, proved that something was definitely amiss. Now he really wanted to know why Kanda was still with him.

000

Kanda sat in absolute misery on the train to the seaport which would take them back home. Every time the train shook or trembled a little too much, any movement made that irritated Lavi's injuries hurt Kanda, he was surprised his heart was still functioning at all. Kanda was certain he was suffering over Lavi's wounds more than Lavi was. That's just not fair.

"Yuu, are you ok? You've been reaaaaaaallllly weird since yesterday. It's kinda scaring me."

_oh, so I'm more scary when I'm NOT trying to kill you? Bastard._

Kanda shifted in his seat, hoping that a change in position might ease the pain he felt. No such luck, and to make it worse, Lavi felt he needed to get up close and personal to discover what was wrong. Lavi stuck his face right in front of Kanda's, a light smirk on his face. He was no more than an inch away from Kanda, and he could clearly see the desire to bash his face in shining in Kanda's eyes. Lavi was purposely trying to get Kanda to get angry, this non-abusive Kanda was too strange.

"So what's wrong, anything I can fix?" he asked, his smirk widening. Kanda wished he could hit Lavi; No, he couldn't fix it, he was the cause of it! Still, Kanda didn't want to tell Lavi, or anyone really, the full story behind his troubles. It would be mortifying if anyone knew just what lengths he'd gone to in order to save Lavi. The worst part is, he didn't even know why he'd been so desperate to in the first place.

So Kanda allowed the angry blush to invade his face, shaking his head to Lavi's question. Lavi's face turned sour, he wasn't getting the desired results, Kanda was supposed to shove him away painfully and tell him to keep his face away. Provoking Kanda was usually easier than this. Why on earth couldn't he get Kanda to just act normal!? it was freaking him out! It's not like Lavi enjoyed being bat around by Kanda or anything (well, he did, when he could take advantage of the situation), but still, he was horribly annoyed by this Kanda who never did anything anymore, he hadn't heard a threat to his life the entire two weeks he'd been awake! It was inconceivable!

He sat down on Kanda's Lap, his legs to either side of the older boy's, as he placed his hands on Kanda's shoulders. He'd get a raise out of Kanda, one way or another.

**Ho geez...where did that come from? No, no, no train sex. They're only 14, mind you. **

**anyways, notes! Any of you "Black World Washed White" readers out there might've noticed that the little story Kanda intended to feed Komui about his healing abilities is Kanda's past in BWWW. It's so fun to reference Saya's other works in completely unrelated stories. **


	9. Reactions

**This here...is a strange lil' chapter. Oh, and Saya should probably say this, because she's pretty sure at least one or two people read this who don't use American spellings. Saya uses American-English spellings, not U.K.-English spellings. So yeah.**

**Saya owns the play but not the actors, they belong to Hoshino-ka.**

**Rated T... because a kiss doesn't call for an M rating.** **Rating will get higher with the chapters. This one's T for violence.**

9. Reactions

Kanda looked down, before scowling back up at Lavi, just what did this kid think he was doing? Oh how Kanda wanted to punch his lights out. Still, he was unsure, what would happen to him if he did that? Would his pain escalate along with Lavi's? Or would it be constant, would it always just hurt for that one second? Maybe it wouldn't hurt at all because he was the one trying to hurt Lavi? Maybe that'd make it hurt more? There were too many variables, and this whole deal was too new to him, he didn't want to experiment with it.

But, Lavi didn't know about any of this, so he was going to keep pushing Kanda until he did something. He moved as far up Kanda's lap as he possibly could, arms winding around Kanda's neck. Their faces were close, and whenever the train jostled their noses would bump. Kanda did not like having someone so close to him, and he definitely didn't like that he was being straddled by an annoying redhead.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he asked with a snarl. Lavi put his forehead against Kanda's, looking the irate boy in the eye.

"I intend to seduce you into giving me answers," He said simply. What he really meant though, was that he planned to annoy/sexually harass Kanda until the samurai couldn't take it anymore and just spilt his guts or tried to kill him. "First question. Why are you being so calm, and docile? Really, it' almost creepy to see you not being violent."

Docile!? So maybe he wasn't trying to kill Lavi every second of the day, and maybe he wasn't threatening him, but even so he was still a far cry from docile! "I am not docile!"

"Fine then, why are you being so _not_-docile?"

Kanda wasn't about to say that the reason he wasn't hitting Lavi was because he couldn't. Instead he took the first excuse that came to mind. "Blame the morphine for my behavior." Lavi let that pass as an answer, after all, he was hopped up on the same thing, and had felt rather euphoric since he woke up. He wouldn't be surprised if it was making Kanda mellow out a little. He'd know once they stopped giving Yuu painkillers for a pain he didn't have. Which lead to his next question.

"Ok. Next question. How did you're leg heal so fast? All those breaks and fractures should've taken a good five or six months to heal." Kanda turned his face away, honestly, he didn't really have an answer to that. Why was his leg fine? He was sure it had to do with how he could feel Lavi's pain, but still, he hadn't been forewarned about this new development. While the whole "if Lavi's hurt you'll hurt" thing had been (vaguely) explained to him, no one ever told him that he's ability to heal would accelerate.

"Answer the question Yuu. It's not like you were even trying to hide the fact that you're leg was no longer broken, you were practically asking for me to be curious, with the way you were just acting like that cast was nothing more than an over-sized accessory."

"How would I know?! It just _IS_. Now get off me," Kanda commanded, glaring daggers at Lavi. He did not like this situation in the least; the only good things about this were that they'd managed to get a private compartment, and that Lenalee had been sent on a mission a few days before.

Lavi however, was not satified by this answer, Kanda had to at least have some clue as to why he was healing so quickly. And if he didn't, the least he could do was make up something interesting! This was something that was definitely going into the logs. He unwound his arm from around Kanda's neck, taking Kanda's chin and making him look up, before kissing him none too gently. Kanda wasn't expecting that, not to say he ever expected it when Lavi kissed him. But still, at least before Kanda couldn't feel his lips bruising, and Lavi wouldn't drag the kiss out for more than a second. This though, Kami, he was going to die of asphyxiation at this rate! The worst part was that he was trapped between the back of the bench and Lavi's far-too-close body, he couldn't back away.

Still, even though he would've loved to slap Lavi for being such a damned impudent asshole, he just sat and waited until he was allowed room to breathe again. Lavi looked angry, why the hell was he the one getting angry? It was supposed to be Kanda, rampaging around, trying to cut his head off! Though Kanda was quite obviously pissed; still glaring even as he panted to catch his breath, even as that fierce blush blossomed on his feature, even as he wiped the saliva off his abused lips with the back of his hand, still, he wasn't angry enough.

"Third question... Why haven't you tried to flippin' kill me yet?" Lavi asked, he was starting to confuse himself, honestly. It wasn't like he liked being pushed away over the smallest things, but he didn't like how Kanda was completely unresponsive. There was no answer. Kanda had already decided, he wasn't going to tell Lavi what happened, why he didn't lash out. They were both confused, and that was ok.

"Answer Yuu. I mean if you're going to just sit back and let me have my way with you, the least you could do is not be so pissed."

"W-what did you just say!? I think you've lost it, you indecent fool!" Kanda tried to stand up, at least then Lavi would just fall off of him, little to no harm done. Lavi was heavy enough to stop him though, grabbing him roughly, to make him look back to his emerald eye again.

"Answer my questions and I let you leave."

"I told you already! I don't know why my leg healed, and I_ can't _tell you why I won't hit you!" Lavi was pulled out of his agitation momentarily by the word "Can't". Kanda couldn't tell him? Why was that?

"Then I'll kiss you until you _can_ tell me." Lavi once again came down on him, and Kanda was once again faced with the decision of killing Lavi or taking whatever was given. He was leaning more towards just taking the pain rather than letting this drag on much longer, it was bound to get embarressing at some point. After all, as human beings, it doesn't take an emotional attachment, physical advances elicit physical responses. Lavi swept his tongue over Kanda's lower lip, though it was more of a warning, rather than asking for entrance. The next second Lavi had forced Kanda's jaw to unclench, and he started exploring the inside of Kanda's mouth.

Kanda decided then to stop being a wuss, and beat the living hell out of Lavi until Lavi was in so much pain that Kanda couldn't beat him anymore. However, the moan that escaped his throat stopped his thoughts in their tracks; he decided a quick retreat would be better. He could feel Lavi smirking against his lips, and Kanda refused to let the younger boy stay so smug for long. He bit down hard on Lavi's tongue, until the metallic taste of blood poured into his mouth. Lavi pulled away quickly, cursing profusely. Kanda took this as a chance to escape, and punched Lavi hard enough to send him to the floor. Kanda spit Lavi's blood out on the floor, though a small amount went unnoticed at the side of his lips.

To Kanda's surprise, the pain that went through him was the same as it had been every other time Lavi had been hurt. He was thankful for this, because sure, it hurt a bit now, but over time he could get used to the clenching of his heart, maybe with enough practice he could control it. Maybe he could become numb to it. Kanda liked the idea of being able to disregard such a pain, he decided that practice would be exactly what he needed, and that as long as Lavi was annoying him, he'd have plenty of that.

He stood up, and looked down at Lavi, who, even though his tongue was bleeding, was grinning like a maniac. Kanda's cheeks burned crimson, now that he knew hitting Lavi wouldn't hurt him too much, he couldn't believe he'd allowed things to escalate to such a level of indecency.

"Finally back to being violent, Yuu?" Lavi asked, Kanda could see Lavi felt accomplished. He finally realized that Lavi had been trying to get him to lash out at him the entire time, and he could hardly believe it.

"Che, fucking masochist," He threw out with disgust, before making his swishy way out of the compartment to go cool his head in the bathroom, and maybe destroy something.

Lavi couldn't help but chuckle once Kanda was gone; he'd actually made Kanda _moan_. "Hehe, you seem to like that well enough Yuu-chan."

000

By the time they made it back to the Black Order, Kanda still hadn't forgiven Lavi for his idiocy. Not to say Kanda ever forgave anyone, he was pretty good at holding grudges.

"Awe, Come on Yuu! I said I was sorry! Don't hate me for lovin' youuuuuu!" Lavi pleaded, rivulets of tears falling from his face in a rather comic fashion. He was back to being immature again, making childish puppy faces and tugging on Kanda's sleeve like a little kid.

"I DON'T CARE YOU FREAKIN' RAPIST!" Kanda yelled, glaring at the whining Lavi. Lavi sniffled, sticking his lower lip out in a out in a way that would've been adorable to anyone but Kanda.

"B-but it got you back to normal...! I did something good and you know it!" Kanda couldn't deny that part, because if Lavi hadn't made Kanda so angry, Kanda would've never found out that his pain doesn't increase with Lavi's. So yes, Lavi did do something right, accidentally. Even so, Kanda would never forgive Lavi, EVER, for doing that. He knew it'd get embarrassing.

Kanda gave a scoff of annoyance.

"And besides... You know ya liked it..." Lavi whispered, his face suddenly very close again, his warm breath hitting the shell of Kanda's ear, making the fine hairs on his neck bristle. A glare settled on his face, as a growl pushed past his lips, and he quickly turned to the side, trying to punch Lavi. But bunny-boy had been expecting this, and dodged easily. "YOU BASTARD!"

"It s'ok Yuu-chan! No need to be ashamed, you're a healthy 14-year-old boy and I'm just that good." Lavi teased, watching with delight as Kanda's face reddened and Mugen was drawn.

"My innocence has reached a new level of invocation, I've been meaning to practice with it...shall I use you as a practice dummy?" Kanda asked, a maniac's grin on his face as he advanced with an aura of evil that belonged to the devil. Lavi saw this and was genuinely scared for his life. Lavi decided it would be for the best if he ran for it.

000

Kanda sat in Komui's office, he had chosen to give the report of Komui, because he needed to get Komui to remove the useless chunk of plaster from his leg. He feared Komui's treatments more than he feared Akuma, but he really didn't feel like walking around looking like a temporarily crippled person.

"So... you found the innocence in the bordering forests, got on the train to leave the next day, and got attacked by a high-level Akuma. That's it? How did you and Lavi get such serious injuries during the fight?" Komui asked, in professional mode. Bookman sat perched upon a stack of books inconspicuously, writing everything down on sheet after sheet of notebook paper.

"A piece of broken concrete pinned my foot, then the Akuma tried to bite me and I parried, it's momentum pulled my foot out and broke it at the same time. The Akuma then bit through Lavi. After that I attacked it, and when I killed it, I fell on an odd angle, breaking my leg."

"It bit _THROUGH_ Lavi? And he's still alive? And his inner organs are all...? How on earth?!"

"Che, like I'd know. Maybe it was a "miracle" or something; this is a religious order, that should be a perfectly fine explanation." Komui would've liked to have scolded the sarcastic little brat, but he got the feeling that would get him nowhere with Kanda, except maybe his head on the floor.

"I suppose..."

"Supervisor..." Kanda started, suddenly a bit more respectful than he had been just moments ago. "I've got to tell you something..."

"Go on," Komui urged, wondering what it was that was so important.

"My leg is fine, it healed weeks ago, about three days after the fight." Komui's eyes nearly bugged out of his head, it healed when!?

"Are you sure about that? That's crazy!"

"I'm more than sure, it's my leg, I'd know."

"Well I would like to see this for myself so let's go take that cast off..." Komui said, rather excited at the thought of something so strange happening, he'd just love to hear the cause. Who knows, maybe he could recreate whatever it was that made Kanda heal so fast, and then do the same thing to the other exorcists? It would be an extremely useful thing, depending on how it happened. "Would you mind explaining how this happened on the way there?"

"There's not much to tell... I've just always healed quickly." Kanda lied, fairly smoothly. Komui's eyebrows shot up, but he didn't notice the lie. Actually, now he really wanted to find out what made Kanda such a quick healer. If he weren't slightly humane he'd sedate Kanda and start all sorts of fun human experiments.

Bookman realized right away that he was lying. But as a bookman, it was his job to record history, not interfere. Kanda could continue his lie for as long as he liked. Really though, Kanda wanted to tell Komui the truth, just not when Bookman was around. He didn't want to tell anyone who might leek his story to Lavi, he refused to let him know what happened.

**Geh, anti-climactic ending... but anyways, sorry for the lateness of this update, but Saya was hit by inspiration for a drawing, about which she'll say this: God Kanda looks like a mistress xD! It's only on dA so go see... anyway, sorry!**


	10. Insomnia

**You know, it's sincerely scaring Saya how one by one she's losing inspiration for all of her projects. She only started writing fanfics a year ago, and sure she's been updating something somewhere nearly everyday for that length of time, but really, she can't burn out so quickly! And then the horrors of having some despicable writer's block that lasts for years comes to mind and...the worries worsen...TT-TT a never-ending cycle of worry that will probably end in an ulcer, because Saya tends to dwell on bad things too long for her own good.**

**Saya owns the play but not the actors, they belong to Hoshino-ka.**

**Rated T... because a kiss doesn't call for an M rating.** **Rating will get higher with the chapters. This one's T for violence.**

**10. **Insomnia

Kanda would've really liked to have told Komui about his new little development, but the entire time he was giving his report, and while Komui was inspecting his leg, Bookman had been right there, remembering and writing everything down. It made Kanda feel like a test subject that was being observed, he didn't like it.

Still, he'd have to tell Komui at some point, and he'd rather do so sooner than later. Despite his immaturity, Komui was his supervisor, and he knew that if he asked him not to, Komui wouldn't tell a soul, especially not Lavi! He couldn't guarantee that his little story wouldn't get leaked to Lavi as long as Bookman was near. He remembered vaguely Lavi blabbering something about being a Bookman-in-training, and that he recorded history and yadda yadda, it all kinda tapered out from there. Kanda didn't feel like letting his explanation become part of some hidden history.

So, he found himself leaving the examination room with a very dumbfounded Komui who looked like he wanted to conduct many immoral human experiments in order to find out what made Kanda heal. Kanda decided that he should leave before he had to face anything too horrible.

He returned to his room, which was nearly empty save for a bed and a bureau. He needed to unpack, before he did anything more. He took his suitcase off the floor, placing it on his bed and opening it. Shining from inside, buried between layers of clothing that had been used like package wrapping, its glow still emanated from the spaces between his clothes. That flower, beautiful, mysterious, entombed in the hourglass that now counted down the time of his life. It mocked him almost, being a lotus, on top of everything else. A flower that struggles up from the bottom of the muck and blossoms into something of nearly indescribable beauty. But they only last so long, and then die, all of it's efforts go to waste. They say that lotus flowers bloom once every thousand years, but he was just human, he wouldn't come back with that flower.

He put the hourglass in the center of the bureau, far away from the corners and sides, he didn't want to risk it falling and breaking.

That night he had a dream about a flower that withered away, and never blossomed again.

000

When Lavi saw Kanda the next morning at breakfast, the kid was practically falling asleep in his soba. Kanda's head bobbed down once, twice, and the third time he almost did a nosedive for his noodles. Lavi grabbed his shoulder-length ponytail to keep his head from falling, the pain of having nearly every hair on his head pulled woke him up quite easily.

"What are you doing idiot?!"

"Stopping you from getting a faceful of soba." Kanda glared, before deciding that he should probably start eating, and not just sleeping. Lavi took the seat across from him at the table; it was completely empty otherwise. Lavi thought it was ridiculous, how could all these adults be so afraid of one angsty teen? Sure, he had a thing for his sword and pointing it at other people, but once you learn how to dodge the danger's almost gone! After that, just staying out of arm's reach is enough.

_guess I'm the only one here who's got any guts._

Kanda hadn't gotten any sleep, and he really wanted to just go back to his room and crawl into bed again, which is what he planned to do, as soon as he finished his breakfast. Stupid dreams, stupid flowers, stupid Lavi! None of this would be happening if the idiot had just stayed away when he was fighting off that akuma!

"Wow Yuu-chan, what did you do last night? You look dead."

"I slept."

_badly_

"Really now...? I know! you had a bad dream! Oh Yuu that's so adorable, even you get scared when you have nightmares! Don't worry, if you need me to I'll come in and keep the bad dreams away! Or you could crawl into my bed!" Lavi said, gushing in the same way the head Chief Jeryy had on his first day here; that is, until he made it clear that he wasn't cute, and therefore should not be gushed over. Kanda let out an angry growl.

"Stay out of my room. I swear, if you come within five feet of my _door_ for anything more than a life-or-death emergency, I will kill you on the spot."

Lavi blinked, it would seem Kanda was getting even more protective of his room. Oh, how curiosity bloomed! But Lavi truly did value his life, and knew that Kanda probably wouldn't hesitate to seriously kill him for going into his room. He liked his head where it was, his organ's where they were, and not having a sword run through him.

000

Kanda rolled off his bed, his feet coming up underneath him before he fell to the floor. It was hopeless, he couldn't sleep, not at all! It wasn't even the dreams that were keeping him awake, because he couldn't fall asleep in the first place! He was at the point where he was too tired to sleep, thanks to being kept awake by paranoia on the train ride back, giving that report to Komui, and then his most recent sleepless night. He officially hated insomnia.

Kanda walked down the halls, it was an hour till noon, and many workers were already headed down to the dining hall. But even in their quest for food, they all stepped aside for Kanda, who's agitation rolled off of him in waves. A few fled in the opposite direction, screaming bloody murder, even though one had not been committed. Yet.

"God Yuu, you look fit to kill," Lavi stated, walking right up to Kanda without a thought to how such an action could negatively affect his health. But Lavi was smart and realized what the other's didn't; Kanda was too tired to do much more than look like a demon child. He'd found over the time they'd been together that Kanda tended to act even more menacing than usual when he didn't have the energy to actually go through with the silent threats he was sending out.

Of course, the fact that Kanda allowed Lavi within ten feet of his persons while in such a bad mood made all onlookers immediately think it was because they were just _such _great friends. Kanda didn't currently have the energy to correct them.

"I...can't...sleep," was all Kanda replied, as he continued to walk. He wasn't paying much attention to where he was going, he was just walking, subconsciously following Lavi, who seemed to have some destination in mind. And since he didn't...well, better to go somewhere than just wander.

"Can't sleep, eh? Well, let's see if you can here," Lavi said, pushing open two very tall doors.

Books. They assaulted Kanda's vision from all sides, a massive amount of books. Row after row, all the way to the ceiling, littering the floor in some places, they were absolutely everywhere. He didn't need anyone to tell him that they were in a library. "This place is surprisingly comfy, I find myself takin' cat naps here all the time."

"What's a change of location have to do with me sleeping!?" Kanda snapped, how was being in this book-filled room going to help him?

"Because, it could just be that there's somethin' about you're room that's bugging you, and you don't even realize it. So gettin' away from that place would be a good way to sleep!"

Kanda blinked, that seemed so simple, so simple it just might work. It was almost like Lavi knew what was wrong. They reached a rather comfortable-looking couch, and the two sunk into the worn cushions when they sat. Kanda leaned back, allowing himself to be nearly swallowed by the back of the couch.

With a comfortable place to sleep, and no will to fight against the tiredness that made his vision blur, Kanda let himself start to drift, not even caring that he was falling asleep on Lavi. Said Bookman wannabe thought the way Kanda seemed ready to curl up like a cat was too cute.

"Hehe, am I a pillow now, Yuu?"

"Yes. and pillows don't talk."

Lavi decided not to bug Kanda, the poor kid really did look like he could use some rest. Not more than a moment later, Kanda was sleeping, his even breathing soft, the rhythm made Lavi drowsy too. He leaned down, placing a gentle kiss on the sleeping boy's cheek, feeling just a little clichèd.

000

When Kanda reappeared in the outside world, he found himself in a much better mood than when he left. Not to say anyone could really tell the difference. Lavi was right along side him, very happy with himself for being able to solve Yuu's sleeping problem, and for being able to steal a kiss without getting bloodied by the other boy.

"So what do I get for helpin' ya out?"

"You get to keep your head for a while longer."

"Waaah? Geez Yuu, if I knew you were gonna be so stingy I woulda-"

"Would've what?" Kanda asked, waiting to hear just what undoubtedly foolish thing he would've done that would earn him a beheading.

"I woulda asked for somethin' ahead of time."

Kanda turned and smacked him. "Dammit Lavi! You need to learn that I'm not about to do anything for you over the littlest things! You brought me to a fucking library, congratulations! That doesn't mean I own you anything! I'm getting so sick of the way you act!"

Geez! With the way Lavi acted, it was like he was expected to give Lavi some kind of reward for just friggin' breathing! And Lavi's idea of a reward seemed to be a kiss, or whatever the hell he felt like doing. He'd been a bit too tired before, but now that his mind wasn't clouded with fatigue, he was remembering that Lavi was dangerous in a rather unexpected way. He wasn't afraid to force himself on Kanda, as had been proven by the incident on the train. Kanda would have to be more wary of the Bookman apprentice, no matter how unassuming his smile and happy-go-lucky attitude was. He was a wolf in sheep's clothing, a trap waiting to be sprung, set up for no other reason than to amuse the redhead himself.

_That's right, he's just bothering me because he wants to see if I can keep his interest for six months or whatever. Well, I guess it's four now. I wish he'd just realize I'm not worth sticking to and leave me alone!_

Lavi watched Kanda retreat with a sigh, he really was pushing it with the poor child. Really, it wasn't like he had any specific attraction to Kanda, he was just bored, right? Bookmen weren't supposed to care for anyone, or have any attachments that could make their records bias. He'd been living that way for so long, through 49 aliases, he was too used to this life, too callused to the world to form any bond with anyone, he was just spending his time in whatever way he saw fit, and letting teenage hormones have their way every once in a while. Kanda happened to be there, androgynous, and without an over-protective older brother who would drill a hole through his head for touching the other boy.

This messing around was more or less a way for him to learn as much as he could about Kanda for the sake of his logs, playing games with him was an added bonus. But could that really be true? Could that really be all? If it was, if he really didn't care, and if he was really so rooted in the way of the Bookman, then why had he saved Kanda? He wasn't supposed to interfere with things, he was meant to be an observer, he should've just watched as it happened, and let Kanda die, rather than risking his own life, and the secret history that he had a duty to learn and pass down.

_geh...I guess I still hold some concern for human life... it's never pleasant to write logs about people dying anyways. _

**Yeah...it's gonna be a bundle of fun to write a romance between the anti-social-sword-up-his-ass-Kanda, and Bookmen-have-no-hearts-Lavi. Wonderful fun :3. So woot, this is like...JUST on time. Saya was thinking she'd be late again (she went on a downloading spree...again). It was music this time! Oh, and yay for double digets! wow, Saya hasn't been able to say that for a story since June.**


	11. Exploding Ice Cubes

**Sometimes Saya scares herself, and it's not her dementia that does it, no, she's use to that. It's when she gets into "all powerful author mode", that's when the trouble begins. It's kinda like the feeling you get when you realize world domination is at your fingertips. Only...it's domination over a fictional world. yeaaaah...ehe. -sweatdrop-**

**Saya owns the play but not the actors, they belong to Hoshino-ka.**

**Rated T... because a kiss doesn't call for an M rating.** **Rating will get higher with the chapters. **

**11. **Exploding Ice Cubes

"Hey Yuu, look at this," Lavi said, holding a solitary ice cube between his index and thumb. Kanda looked for all of a moment, and then went back to eating breakfast. "So what did ya see?"

"I saw an ice cube, dumbass."

"No, no, silly Yuu! Look insiiiiide the ice cube!"

Kanda took a second to appease the redhead by giving the ice cube another look. "A bubble?"

"YES! A bubble of frozen air!" Lavi said, finally deciding to actually sit down next to Kanda, instead of standing. He then put down a mug of steaming water. "And now, Ladies and Germs, I am going to make this ice cube explode."

"As long as it doesn't make a mess," was all Kanda said, not particularly caring for the idea of watching a frozen piece of water burst. But despite his uncaring disposition, he still watched as Lavi dropped the ice cube into the water. There was a sound that was a mix of popping and cracking, and then the ice exploded in the cup, some pieces of it flying out, and bringing droplets of water with it. Kanda made a small noise, signifying that he'd seen what happened, and thought...something about it.

"Geez Yuu...the least you could do is act like ya thought it was kinda cool."

"I just want to eat my soba before it's no longer good."

"So if I took your soba and made that explode would it be interesting?"

"No, it'd be infuriating."

"All the more reason to try it, if ya ask me..."

"Touch my soba and you'll loose a hand."

"All the more reason not to..."

Satisfied that Lavi wasn't going to pilfer and fulminate his meal, Kanda enjoyed how the idiot redhead stayed unusually quiet. Until that silence started to annoy him.

_Stupid, silence is good! There's nothing wrong with it! The rabbit-brat should be this quiet more often!_

Slamming down his chopsticks in annoyance, he looked at Lavi as though he were the most aggravating thing on the face of the planet.

"What's wrong with you now?!" He snapped, startling the Bookman wannabe, who had been a little lost in thought.

"Come again?"

"What the hell is wrong with you? First you're hyper, and now you're quiet, decide how you're going to act, right here, right now. And no changing your mind later!" It really bugged him when things changed without warning. Lavi was supposed to constantly talk, and though Kanda wasn't exactly fond of that reality, that's how things were. Lavi not talking was disturbing the natural order of things, and Kanda was sure any minute now the sky would fall, unless he got Lavi to stop being quiet.

Lavi, however, found it comical how Kanda made such a ridiculous demand as though he were expecting Lavi, or anyone really, to actually be able to do that. He chuckled, watching as Kanda's angry scowl turned into more of a pout.

"Awe, Yuu-chan's worried about me? I could kiss you for being so sweet."

"I could kill you for suggesting I'm being sweet."

"I think you'd probably kill me for kissing you in public, because you're just_ such_ a chaste guy. Though I know deep inside, your inner monster wants to ravage the innocent me."

"WHA-...eh..._you_..." When Kanda realized that Lavi's idiocy had rendered him speechless, he decided to just get to the point and bash him over the head with Mugen's hilt. Kanda finished his meal, content with the fact that Lavi was being stupid again.

000

Kanda didn't know what to do as Lavi's voice assailed his ears while they walked down the halls. True, natural order had been restored, but Kanda had momentarily forgotten just how much he hated the natural order. Let the sky fall, he didn't care... But it seemed that no matter what Lavi did, as long as he was in existence, he was going to annoy Kanda.

"Oh will you just shut up...?"

"I can't, you told me to choose how I'm gonna be, and said I couldn't change my mind later."

"Well you're not changing your mind, I'm telling you to shut up."

Lavi smirked at this, a smirk that was soon obscuring Kanda's vision. He cursed in his mind when he felt the wall to his back, how had he not realized that they'd wandered into an empty hall?

"No," Kanda stated firmly, Lavi had done plenty of things to him, yes, but he did not want this happening in a hall that anyone could easily walk into. "Well if ya want me to shut up, then shut me up."

"Fine then, stand still and let me decapitate you."

"I don't feel like dying in your quest for silence, sorry." Kanda shook with anger, oh this damned redhead! Lavi's face came closer, as did the rest of his body, Kanda was pinned between the wall and the other's body. He felt heat going to his cheeks, and convinced himself that he was just very, very angry. This situation was disturbingly familiar...

"Get off me rabbit-brat!"

"Awe come on Yuu..." Lavi started, his breath hitting the shell of Kanda's ear. He felt like his face was warm enough to act as a space-heater. "I won't bite if ya don't want me too..."

"Eek!" no, it wasn't Kanda squeaking in such an undignified fashion, the voice came from around the bend of the hall.

"Um...yes?" Lavi's voice betrayed the awkwardness of the situation.

_take that ya bastard..._

"U-u-um...Ge ge wanted to see you, Lavi... you and Bookman have a mission..." Kanda mentally groaned, it was Lenalee. He felt bad for her, she only just turned 13, and she was a total shut-in, who probably had little to no knowledge about sexual relations, especially those between men.

_good goin' Lavi, mentally scar the girl, I hope Komui quarters you for subjecting her to negative imagery._

Lavi left quickly, weaving through the crowded halls without trouble. Kanda sighed, glad that he could pull away from the wall without moving closer to another person. He decided that he'd go and train off his embarrassment. Lenalee poked her head around the corner, as if making sure that she wouldn't end up looking in on some other bizarre scene. Kanda left the hall, heading for the forests where he usually trained, he was surprised that Lenalee followed. He figured she just wanted to talk about what happened, but didn't know how to bring it up. Still, the awkward silence was grating on his nerves.

"Um...Kanda..."

"What?" he snapped, sounding a little ruder than he meant to. She flinched back, and Kanda was hit with a small wave of guilt. Lenalee was the only person in the Order he could really stand, because she wasn't psycho, she wasn't an annoying bunny-boy, and she wasn't so depressing he wanted to kill himself either. She was just normal, and he wished there were more people around here like that. He felt bad that she had to see something so awkward, and then face him when he was feeling defensive.

"Um... I... I won't... tell...anyone what I saw... I'll just pretend it didn't happen. It doesn't seem like you want anyone to know..."

Kanda breathed a sigh of relief, it wasn't like he expected her to write a tabloid about it or anything, but it was always nice to have someone assure you. However, when the awkward silence returned, it seemed that Lenalee wasn't quite done talking.

"Um...just...out of curiosity...what was that about..anyways?"

"It was that stupid Lavi being stupid and doing stupid things, what else!?" Kanda fumed, an indignant scowl twisting his face. "That idiot red! I told him if he..." the raging boy let out an frustrated growl. Lenalee was starting to think the way he was flipping out was funny, though she dared not laugh in front of him, well, at least not out loud. Her mind was enjoying a good giggle fit though.

"So... does he often do "stupid" things like that...?"

Kanda was about to say that the idiot never was anything but stupid, but then that would basically be admitting to the fact that he's let himself be molested by Lavi multiple times and allowed the boy to live. Luckily, before he actually had to answer, he reached the entrance of the training hall, which he was really just cutting through to get to the forest. He subtly dived for the door in order to avoid answering. Before he completely entered the room, he looked back at Lenalee.

"You...really won't tell anyone... right?"

"Promise." She replied, holding up her pinky, not that she really expected Kanda to do something as juvenile as a pinky promise, but it was more a gesture of promise than anything else.

"Thanks...Lenalee..." Was the last thing he said before going to train himself out of his embarrassment.

000

"WAAAAH YUU IT'S HORRIBLE! "_THE MAN_" Doesn't approve of us and is pulling us apart!"

"Good. Now go, be torn away from me forcefully. And though I may find myself enjoying silence, I will wait with unbelievable patience for the day my punching bag returns to me."

"...geez Yuu... way to help a friend who feels ever-so-terribly."

"I've given you all the consolation I know how to, I said I'd wait for the day when I can punch your face in again, isn't that good enough?"

"Ah...you say such cruel words, but I know what you really mean. You'll always wait faithfully for me to return to you, for the day when I come back will be the day I take-"

"Finish that sentence and I'll send you to a place you can't return from."

"Cold, Yuu, cold."

Kanda soon decided to flee to his room, though he'd never admit that's what he was doing. It was late, and the idea of waking up and going to breakfast the next morning without having to see his tormentor made him want the next day to come as soon as possible.

000

"_Wait! I...I don't understand...if you went through this ...this whole thing...just for compensation, then what is it that you're getting?"_

_She smiled mischievously, her lilting voice and sly expression made her seem like something out of a fairy tale, one of those impish little creatures that trick all those who intend to trespass on their territory unwittingly. Kanda didn't like this, why, of all people, did he have to deal with the likes of her?_

"_I? I will be receiving bits and pieces of your soul, in 13 installments."_

Kanda's eyelids flew open, he didn't know how much more of these damn dreams he could take. That smile, that damned smile, it wasn't quite sinister, and yet it was nowhere near innocent; either way, it haunted him.

_Right...I wanted to tell Komui about this anyway...maybe telling someone will help me get rid of these dreams..._

Kanda looked out from his window, the moon was still high in the sky, it wouldn't be morning for another few hours. He decided to wait until then, because he knew both Lavi and Bookman would be gone on there mission; Lavi had managed to squeeze that into their conversation before Kanda had taken to his room.

_I just really, really hope it helps..._

000

Lavi said his goodbyes to Lenalee at the gate before leaving. He sighed as he turned around to set off.

_I shoulda known Yuu wouldn't see me off. It would've been quite a fun thing to tease him about, if only he had._

He turned his gaze to the sky, walking along at an easy pace besides Bookman. They didn't go more than four steps before footfalls could be heard, coming in their directions.

"Bastard redhead, wait up."

_ohohohooo...man this could be so much more fun if it weren't for the panda!_

He turned, not surprised when he saw Kanda coming towards him. He wasn't exactly expecting to be grabbed by the collar of his coat though, or have Kanda bring his face so close. "You'd better come back alive our I'm going to kill you."

"You can't just say "good luck" or "be safe", can you? Well that's ok, I'm touched by your concern all the same, Yuu-chan."

"I am not concerned."

"Then why bother saying that?"

_Because if you die, who knows what will happen to me!?_

Kanda just huffed and released Lavi. "Just don't go pulling another stupid stunt and getting yourself killed," Was all Kanda said before turning back into the Tower; he was close enough that his hair whipped Lavi's face as he did.

_Well, this will definitely be put away in my mind's archives to be used as blackmail or something some other time..._

**Ehaha...fun. So yeah, the title here, Saya just has fun making ice cubes explode, and she felt like putting that in here, because it seems like something Lavi would do. So, exploding ice cubes it is. **

**Well, you know what they say, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." Does that apply to these two? Lets find out, shall we?**


	12. Lucky Number Seven

**Sorry this is so late! But Saya was at her friend's house, and she only gets to see said friend every once in a while, so yeah... Sorry, once again!**

**Saya owns the play but not the actors, they belong to Hoshino-ka.**

**Rated T... Because a kiss doesn't call for an M rating.** **Rating will get higher with the chapters. **

12. Lucky Number Seven

Kanda moved swiftly through the halls, trying to get to the science department as soon as possible. Anyone in the halls would've thought he was going to decimate the science department, because he looked downright pissed. They all made way for him, as they always did; Kanda never realized how crowded the halls were, because he never had any trouble getting through them.

He wasn't angry at anyone though, he was just annoyed with himself, why on earth had he gone to see Lavi first thing in the morning?! The beauty of this day was supposed to be in the fact that he wouldn't have to see Lavi at all! So why? Kanda was sure that Lavi didn't have a death wish, despite how Lavi seemed desperate to be run through with Mugen, he surely didn't need to tell Lavi not to get himself killed.

"Komui," Kanda started, bursting into the Scientist's office. "I need to speak with you. Alone." The way Kanda said "Alone" was more like a cue for Johnny and Reever to rush out of the room and hide on the other side of the door to find out what was going on. "And if anyone eavesdrops, I will shove Mugen hilt-deep down their throats." the two scientists decided that their lives weren't worth hearing whatever it was Kanda needed to say.

"Um...what is it, Kanda?" Komui asked, slightly taken aback by how urgent Kanda seemed. "It's...about my leg."

"Is there something wrong with it?" Komui could think of quite a few things that could go wrong when one's healing happened so much faster than it should. There wouldn't be much time for the bones to return to their normal positions, for instance; if it the healed wrong they would have to be re-broken.

"No...I wanted to discuss how fast it healed...and why."

"But you said that was a normal thing."

"I _lied_."

"Why would you bother if you were just going to tell me anyways?" Really, Komui couldn''t see why Kanda would go through all the trouble of lying if he was just going to spill his guts later. Besides, Kanda seemed like a rather honest child, it seemed strange that he would lie.

"Because...Bookman was here before. I don't want them knowing..."

_Them?_

"You mean Bookman and ...Lavi?" Kanda looked to the side with a huff, as though he couldn't care less about what Lavi knew. Komui took that as a yes. He couldn't help the silly grin that was slowly spreading over his face.

"And why wouldn't you want him to know about it?"

"BECAUSE! I...He just..._.really_...doesn't need to know. I don't even want to tell you, but I figured...you might be able to ...help me." There was something in the way Kanda said that which made Komui realize there was a serious reason behind Kanda's decision, and he immediately slipped back into his more professional persona. Kanda was here to ask for help with something, and in the short time since he'd met Kanda, he knew the child was one of the most proud beings on the Earth. For him to seek help was quite a shock.

"Well, you came here to tell me what happened, so when you're ready, you can start anytime."

Kanda took a moment to ready himself, he would be speaking for the longest amount of time he ever had in his life, he was sure, it was quite a story after all. And he really sucked at telling stories, too. "Ok, it started like this..."

_.:flash back:._

_"You poor child, your friend is going to die."_

_Kanda looked up to see who was talking to him, to see who could sound so calm even as he was trying to stop Lavi from dying. With a small amount of surprise he saw it was the woman from the train, the one who had been burning holes into him the entire time they were on the train. Now that he heard her voice, she sounded quite young, her voice still a little girlish. Even at his current angle on the ground, he could only see her smile, it was creepy, almost, how it seemed like that was all that comprised her face, just that smile. _

_"His heart has been damaged, it cannot work properly in this state. Even if I were to save it, he's lost so much blood already, there wouldn't be much for it to pump through him. His heart would die then too, and I would've wasted my time and efforts."_

_"You're wasting my time! If you can do something then just do it!" _

_Even though he couldn't see her eyes, he could feel it, he could feel a glare that seemed to place him in a frozen hell. "You're just a little boy, so I'll let you off this time. But I warn you, I don't take orders from men." _

_The feeling of being encased in burning ice faded, and he expelled a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. Kanda realized that he would have to swallow his pride and actually ask this woman to help, if he wanted Lavi to live. _

"Wait- So let me get this straight. Some woman you had only seen on the train earlier was in the wreckage with you, and you asked her for help? Didn't anyone ever tell you not to talk to strangers?!" Komui was horrified; The Earl was a tricky being, with many agents, Komui wouldn't be surprised it this woman was one of them. Obviously she had done something bad to Kanda, Komui was worried about just how bad this could've been.

"Well I didn't think that would really matter in this situation! I just wanted someone to help, that was all!"

"Anyways, moving on..." Komui urged, though a small part of his mind was smiling just a bit at this; Kanda might not act like it, but he definitely cared about Lavi a little more than he was letting on. Which, considering how Kanda acted like he hated Lavi, may or may not have been very significant.

"Well, after that She decided to help us. She told me that she needed to replace his heart, it was ridiculous because I couldn't think of where she would get another heart from except from me, and I wasn't willing to die for this, because then what was the point of Lavi almost dying, right?" Komui looked at Kanda wide-eyed, a heart transplant with no sterile tools in the middle of a battle field with only one person to take the replacement heart from, who happened to be living? He couldn't think of any way for a heart transplant to take place between two live people without one of them dying. "She said I wouldn't die though, so I accepted her offer. I wasn't thinking right then though, I should've realized people like her don't just pop up and save people for nothing."

_and she was sure from the beginning that neither of them would die? This woman was either a medical genius or a scientist more mad than myself..._

"She put one hand on either of our chests, and for a second, I could feel it, there was nothing there, my heart was gone, it felt like I was dead for a second. Then, it was back again, my heart, but it wasn't mine. It hurt, blood wasn't moving through it right, it was just clenching and unclenching so painfully that I couldn't do anything for a while. but when I looked over to Lavi after the pain went down enough, I saw that the hole in him was gone, except for the exit and entrance wounds. He looked like he was ok, just sleeping, I could even see him breathing. Now it was me with the dying heart."

Komui wasn't sure what to make of that, had it been magic of some sort? How could someone make something like that happen, just because they willed it?

_Kanda was almost convulsing from the pain that ran through him, burning at the ends of his nerves the same way his lungs burnt because he couldn't get enough air into his lungs like this. The woman knelt over him, deftly undoing the buttons of his uniform and the shirt underneath. His first instinct was to move away, but he couldn't do that. _

_"Relax, I won't hurt you, I'm just finishing our deal," She said, pointing one finger to his chest, before digging her long, pointed nail into his skin, bringing it over and through the skin in unusually smooth lines. Kanda looked down at what she was doing, the pain in his body was subsiding quickly even as she created the flesh wound. She was making the outline of a symbol, he didn't know what it was. What was strange though was that as he bled, his blood wasn't the dark crimson that seeped from his other wounds, it was black, with the consistency of ink, not a bodily fluid. _

_"I've made this curse just for you, Kanda Yuu," He was surprised to find she knew his name, he was sure they'd never had an introduction. "I've known for a long time that I would be saving you like this, I just didn't know when. Imagine my surprise when I saw you on the train!_

_"Well, back to the point, you'll become a great exorcist one day, and after a few more missions and a lot more training, your sword will reveal a third level to you, but this third level of activation will only be possible because of our meeting."_

_Kanda couldn't understand why she knew this, or what she was talking about, but his head was pounding and it was hard to concentrate of her talking. When she finished with drawing her symbol on him, she leaned down, placing a soft kiss in the center of it. All at once, a powerful energy pulsed through his body, and though he didn't know how he knew, he was sure it was life energy. The ink-blood that had been spilling over his shoulder and chest ran back up him, completely ignoring gravity and piling into the outline, sinking back into his flesh, the black symbol was now prominent on his chest. The pain was all but a memory now, he could easily sit up without problems, which he did. By then though, the woman was already leaving, and he realized for the first time that there was an hour glass by his head._

_"Wait––please." a smirk graced her lips, he'd caught himself just in time. "Why did you do all of this? And what were you talking about, when you mentioned Mugen's third level of invocation?" _

_"Haven't you ever heard tales of those evil women who steal the hearts of men? I just prefer to be more literal about it. However, since I couldn't have your heart, I've taken the next best thing. You're third level of invocation will be very powerful, but that power won't be your own, nor will it be Mugen's, it will be mine. In exchange for this power, you''l forfeit some of your life. I wouldn't suggest using it often. And of course, for saving your friend, I've already taken a portion of your soul."_

_Kanda looked to the hour glass again, to watch as one petal fell to the bottom._

Komui was dumbstruck; he was a scientist, and a bit of an occultist, but this was going straight over his head. Though there was one thing he did understand, but was having a hard time actually accepting: Had Kanda-in essence- sold his life energy? His soul? Did the kid even realize that himself? The look on Kanda's face said he did.

"I'm...Sorry, Kanda, but I don't know of any way to reverse this. You made a deal, so you're bound to that woman for life."

"Well can you at least do something about the whole me-feeling-Lavi's-pain thing? 'Cause I'm pretty sure that was just a random side effect." Kanda seemed to already be over the upset of finding that there was no helping his situation, and he was moving onto the next problem. Komui wasn't sure whether he should admire Kanda's resolve to move forward or pity him for how little he seemed to care about his own soul.

"What? You never mentioned that."

"Whenever Lavi get's hurt my––his...the heart currently residing in my body stops, and it hurts. Do you think there's any way to stop that...?"

"I'll need to run some tests first, if you think you're up to that." Kanda shuttered, he had heard horrid things about this man and his "tests" and "treatments"...

_If you can fight akuma you can handle this mad scientist!_

000

"So, what do you think?" Kanda asked, dropping off of the examination table. Komui had been kind enough to drug him to sleep while he poked and prodded at Kanda's current heart, so he didn't know what he'd found.

"Well, Lavi's heart must've been severely damaged when it was given to you, and it's still healing, cells are still regenerating. Though I do have a theory about it, so tell me, have you hurt Lavi recently?"

"Yes."

"And did your heart hurt as much as it did the first time he was harmed?"

Kanda thought this over for a moment, now that he thought about it, no, not really, but he'd figured it was because he didn't hurt Lavi as much, or because he didn't draw blood.

"...No."

"Then I'm probably correct. My theory is, that as long as his cells exist in your body, you will experience pain when he does, but as more and more of them die and are replaced by your own, the pain will eventually go away. This problem will take care of itself."

"How long will that take?"

"Well it takes seven years for your body to replace all of its cells..."

Kanda groaned. Yeah, this problem would fix itself, in seven years...

**Oh, poor Kanda-pon... but at least it will get better...right? Geh...this chapter didn't have any Lavi in it, so Kanda is sad. Even as he kills Saya for saying that, let her assure you, it is because he is just that upset over his loss-of-Lavi.**


	13. Okaeri Nasai

**Ugh, Saya made a huge mistake regarding ages in this story. Two chapters ago, she said Lenalee turned 13, but in this story Lavi and Kanda are supposed to be 13 too...that can't happen. She thinks it would be more convenient to just go back and change Lenalee's age to like...11 or 12 (probably 12, because Kanda and Lavi would be turning 14 that year, keeping the two year age difference...) Sorry that Saya's so incompetent...so yeah, Lenalee's 12, the Kanda and Lavi are turning 14 soon enough.**

**Saya owns the play but not the actors, they belong to Hoshino-ka.**

**Rated T... Because a kiss doesn't call for an M rating.** **Rating will get higher with the chapters. **

13. Okaeri Nasai

It had been about a week since Lavi had left for his mission with Bookman, and Kanda was pissed as hell that he was still at the tower. So what if he was a newbie exorcist, he knew he was still needed out in the field. He'd come to the friggin' Order to fight akuma, not to wither away in some damned tower! Naturally, Kanda would not stand for being disused, and bugged Komui about it constantly, because he knew he could get pretty annoying too, if he tried. He liked to think of it as his Lavi imitation, only he was being serious.

"Kanda, I've told you already, I don't want to risk you out fighting just yet, we don't know enough about that curse," Komui said, almost exasperated with how persistent Kanda was being. He was starting to wonder if a door would be enough to hold the kid back, because if it was, he was locking Kanda in his room, installing a doggie door, and sending soba into his room through that.

"Komui, I'm cursed, not a cripple, I can fucking fight without dying or messing anything up." Komui wanted to flinch at how bluntly Kanda had put things. He wished he could just say that Kanda could act so flippant about it because he was still naïve, because he couldn't fully appreciate the gravity of his situation. But Komui knew better, it was obvious by the look on Kanda's face that he was fully aware of what he'd done, and that he didn't plan on letting it hinder him in any way. He would keep fighting, curse, bonds and all.

What seemed worse to Komui though, was that Kanda looked ready to take advantage of the situation too. Well, who wouldn't? He could now heal at an amazing pace, only God could know the limits of his healing abilities. He could push himself to extremes that before he couldn't for fear of his life. But of all the things Kanda could've chosen to not realize, this was probably the worst. Each cell is only supposed to split a set number of times, and in order for any wound to heal, cells need to reproduce. By accelerating the rate of mitosis, Kanda was probably shortening his life, Komui would have to make sure Kanda realized that.

"I know that... but the more you get hurt, the more you eat away at your own life."

"I don't care. It's not like I was immortal before."

Komui sighed and rubbed his temples, Kanda wasn't going to let up, he could tell. And as much as everyone thought he was crazy already, Komui didn't want to seriously go insane. He didn't particularly care to have a restless and annoyed Kanda after his head either... "Fine, I'll find a mission for you by the end of the week."

Kanda smirked with triumph before leaving the office; now that he'd gotten what he wanted, he could avoid the office which he had been seeing far too much of while complaining. He was glad that he'd finally be out of that damned tower, because while he wouldn't admit it, while he refused to even let himself think it, H.Q. was a little lonely without his tag-along, read-headed shadow. The silence was getting to him and he had to constantly remind himself that silence was good, silence was something he liked, he should revel in it, not run away from it. Still, that's exactly what he was doing, running away from the tower that reminded him so much of Lavi and going on a mission.

000

Mission after mission, Kanda came back to the Order's tower, all of them completely successfully, his skin never marred with injuries. He was given simple missions, he considered them training missions, just him getting more experience on the field, perfecting techniques, finding what worked and what didn't, experimenting with different ways to kill akuma with the least amount of effort. He was quickly gaining a reputation for his amazing progress, destroying Akuma came so easily to him, destruction itself did.

He'd been on quite a few missions by the end of the month, and now that it was obvious he could handle missions, Komui was more than glad to give him all the annoying little ones that seemed too unimportant to give any of the really experienced exorcists, but still needed handling. Kanda didn't care that he was getting little missions, as long as he was doing something that allowed him to feel the power and ecstacy of invocation, as long as he wasn't in that damned tower. Kanda was going on all the missions he wanted and was still away from the tower, and Komui was getting some old mission requests off his desk, it worked out for both of them.

Still, Kanda did have to return to base, only because he was young, and he didn't really have anywhere else to go. He was an exorcist now, and he was not allowed to go and visit his family anymore, he couldn't just stay there and get missions from home. He didn't feel like drifting from city to city either, going from one hotel to the other and getting missions through a golem. So he had to return to the Tower, he had to return to that room and that flower, which was really just another reason for him to return, and a reason to stay away at the same time.

He'd been sleeping much better since he'd told Komui about the flower, the curse, and that damned woman, but sometimes when he slept in his own room, a nightmare would still get to him. On those nights he would wake up freezing, and he'd grab his uniform (which was to be used a blanket) and head to the library, not caring as the older inhabitants of the castle starred at him while he wandered through the halls like a little ghost. He would never admit that he went down to the library because after those dreams he felt weak, and more alone than ever, and that the remnants of Lavi's presence helped calm him, that the scent of ink and paper and old tomes reminded him of that annoying bunny boy. Kanda is Kanda, and Kanda would never admit to being weak, he'd never say that being truly alone bothered him.

000

Lavi felt positively sick, being in India in early April was not fun, it was hot, too hot, and he couldn't hide from the heat. He wanted to pass out, or take an ice bath, anything to escape the heat that he'd been stuck in for the past month. At the moment though, he was rejoicing about as much as one could while in his state; he and the old panda were finally going back to the Black Order Castle, in dreary old England, where it was nice, cool, and he could feel comfortable even in his usual layers.

"Goodbye, evil heat, can't say I'll miss you."

000

It was a long trip, as they went from one train to another, and Lavi was still miserable. It seemed everywhere they had to travel through was ungodly hot, and dry; Lavi was thoroughly annoyed with then entire Middle east for having to lay between India and Europe. Still, at least he was in a train, and their passage would be quick and in relative comfort. He decided that attempting to sleep would be the best way to pass the time until they reached their final train station, which would bring them to the port where they would depart on a small ship for England.

As Lavi slept, Bookman scribbled away in his log, squeezing every last detail about their mission out of his brain and onto the paper in the form of ink. Occasionally he'd look up to see Lavi sleeping, he was surprisingly still when he slept. He was such a ball of energy during the day that one wouldn't think he could be so peacefully still, any yet that's how he'd always been. Because the person who hid behind the name "Lavi" was not so extremely energetic or overly-friendly. Bookman knew from years of living with his apprentice that he was actually rather reserved, he liked to stand back and just observe people. Unfortunately, he was at the point where he had to learn to be able to act like anything, like anyone, to get information. Later on, when Lavi was no longer called Lavi but Bookman, he could observe from a distance like he wanted. For now, he'd just have to tire himself out everyday with his oh-so-hyper antics.

Of course, Bookman was a bit worried that Lavi might be getting a little too into this alias. That desire to be distant was a good thing, he needed to want that if he was going to be a Bookman. Bookman wondered if those feelings of detachment would be preserved, or if they would accidently pull him closer to someone without meaning to. Kanda Yuu was going to be a problem, he was just like Lavi, only he was allowed to show it. Kindred souls tend to reach out for each other, maybe the real Lavi genuinely wanted to know the person who was as withdrawn as himself?

Bookman ceased his pondering, as he started to return his logs to his bag; their train was slowing to a stop, the squeaking and screeching of the breaks woke Lavi slowly, he was an unexpectedly deep sleeper, also.

000

Lavi sighed as he lugged a pile of tomes he and Bookman had acquired on their mission to the library; it figures that he'd be the one doing all the manual labor while Bookman gave their report to Komui. The books they'd gotten were old, dusty, and heavy as hell. What was worse was that he really wanted to sneeze and he got the feeling that the moment he did he'd drop all the books and they'd land on one of his feet. Either that or they would hit the floor really loudly, which wouldn't be painful, just annoying to have to pick up.

He was tired, he just wanted to crawl into his bed, and sleep a week. It didn't matter that he'd just slept on a train 12 hours ago, because just being awake with nothing to do all the rest of the time was exhausting, and it was late. Lavi would have to wait until he was finished filing away the new books though, so he was sure to go through the library as quickly as possible, depositing the books where they belonged based on criteria, where they were from, and what time period they were written in.

Lavi decided to use the exit on the far end of the library to return to the control room which doubled as his and Bookman's. It was closer to the stairway he'd have to take, and closer to the dining hall, he was rather hungry, a little detour wouldn't be so bad. He would've continued on his merry way too, had he not heard someone's breathing. It was actually a very soft sound, barely there, and very even; it was the sound of someone sleeping. He drew closer to the origin of the sound, and was only slightly surprised to find Kanda there, curled up on his side, looking for all the world like a contented cat.

It wasn't a position most would expect Kanda to take, because it signaled that the sleeper was insecure, shy, and sensitive. However, Lavi wasn't most people, and it wasn't the first time he'd seen Yuu sleeping. Lavi had always figured that Kanda's coldness was just a way for him to keep people at arm's length, and while he wasn't completely sure that Kanda did that out of shyness, it all came to the same conclusion: Isolation. Well, at least whenever Lavi wasn't around.

"Ah Yuu, the way you leave yourself so open, almost makes me think you want me to take advantage of you in your sleep," Lavi muttered, as he crept toward the sleeping boy, knowing that Kanda couldn't hear him.

"Die." Ok, maybe he could.

"Damn, so how long have you been awake?"

"Since you came in, you've got to be the loudest thing on the goddamned planet," Kanda grumbled, but he didn't open his eyes, he didn't make a move to get up either, he just tried to get back to sleep, he could allow the fact that Lavi was back to sink in the next morning.

"Miss me, Yuu?"

"Answer that question your damn self and let me sleep," Kanda snapped, finally moving to turn onto his other side, so his back was to Lavi; he didn't care if he had to suffocate himself by keeping his face to the back of the couch, he was determined to get back to sleep and ignore Lavi. Lavi took this opportunity to creep closer to the couch, leaning over Kanda's half-asleep figure. His lips hovered over Kanda's cheek for a second, before placing a quick kiss on the side of Kanda's mouth. Kanda lifted his hand and lazily tried to swat Lavi's face away. Lavi stood up straight, finally deciding to let sleeping Kanda's lie.

"I'm home."

As he walked away, Lavi could've sworn he heard a mumbled "Okaeri-nasai."

**oh come now, did you really think Saya could keep them apart for more than a chapter? Of course not. And so ya know, in case you didn't already, and for those of you who didn't know and couldn't even fathom a guess (though you're all smart people, Saya probably doesn't even need to explain it), "Okaeri-Nasai" means "welcome home".**


	14. Blindfolds and Scarfs

**Wee...break-day is tomorrow... why is it, that even when Saya decides "you will take a day off after every LTI chapter" she always ends up working on some other writing project, and therefore defeating the purpose of a break day? At least she's got dedication.. Or something. **

**Saya owns the play but not the actors, they belong to Hoshino-ka.**

**Rated T... Because a kiss doesn't call for an M rating.** **Rating will get higher with the chapters. **

14. Blindfolds and Scarfs

Kanda was hyper-aware of the fact that Lavi was back the next morning, when he was no longer tired, and now capable of comprehensible thought. He was mildly embarrassed too, he'd been caught sleeping in the library. He felt like he'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar or something, with no clue as to why. It wasn't like it was against some rule for him to sleep there, and he had convinced himself that he was just there because his room caused nightmares, so what was there to be embarrassed about?

"I betcha missed me buggin' you at breakfast, Yuu-chan." Right. That's why he was embarrassed, because that stupid, idiot red head had decided that the reason Kanda had been there was obviously because he just missed the kid _so _terribly. Lavi wouldn't shut up about it either, he just kept going and going, until it was decided that Kanda had missed every little thing he did. Which wasn't true. And of course, Lavi was loud enough for half the dining hall to hear, too.

_I want my silence back!_

"Yes, I missed you so damned much and I feel like playing a game. It's called the quiet game."

"Can we play a different game? One of my choosing?"

"Hell no."

Lavi sighed, Yuu was being as pissy as ever. The denial was utterly adorable though, in it's own special way. Maybe Lavi just had a weird idea of what "adorable" was. But, looking over to Kanda, watching him huff and pout even as he ate his morning soba, Lavi felt positive that anyone would think that was cute, that it really couldn't just be him. Which is exactly why he was so happy that he had Yuu all to himself, in a sense. No one else had the balls to go anywhere near the kid, so they'd never get to see how cute he could be. What wonderful self-indulgence this was.

"So unfair Yuu, you get mad at me when I'm quiet and mad at me when I talk. I can never please you, how tragic."

Kanda didn't bother to make sense of why it was so tragic. Of course Lavi couldn't please him, no one could, he took pleasure in being displeased, it's how he was. The only things that made him even the slightest bit happy were good soba (or tempura), and his family, and he'd only admit to liking one of those.

"It's a crying shame," Kanda threw in sarcastically between mouthfuls of his breakfast.

"Oooooooh, does it make you sad that I can't make you happy? I'll just have to try harder then, can't have my Yuu-chan crying!"

Ugh... The way Lavi could twist everything to suit his own purposes was so... troublesome. Kanda was out of his seat the moment he finished his meal, making sure to hit Lavi over the head with his tray as he left. Lavi figured that might be a good time to start eating his own neglected breakfast.

000

Kanda was, yet again, training because he was angry with himself, it seemed he was spiraling into a never-ending state of annoyance, thanks to the idiot rabbit. He was slowly realizing that he was setting himself up, he wasn't sure what he was setting up for, but it couldn't be good. This was a premonition that was sure to last a long time, for as long as he was around Lavi, until something broke, shattered and rejoined to form something new.

After a while, Kanda got the feeling he was being watched. He'd never admit it, but it was almost reassuring to know that he wasn't really alone, despite how he said he wanted to be. But that was exactly the cause of his annoyance, he was supposed to hate the fact that Lavi was watching him, that he was around, he was supposed to hate anyone who tried to force themselves closer to him. He _was_ supposed to do that, right? Because human beings can't be trusted after only a few months, right? Hell, one could be known for years and still not be trustworthy. A lifetime wasn't always enough.

With all his mental fighting, it wasn't hard to see why he'd forgotten to alert Lavi to the fact that he knew the other was there. Lavi didn't think Kanda knew he was there, the older boy looked so intent on something and that didn't seem to be training. He wasn't going to pull a foolish move like revealing himself just yet either, Kanda was practicing with Mugen, after all, he wouldn't even have to unsheathe his sword before he struck, and Lavi didn't know if he was up for trying to dodge a swing that had a new timing.

The sky was starting to look stormy, Lavi realized, as a cold wind brought his mind new focus. The clouds were a grayish-purple color, with maybe a hint of yellow that made them look sickly, bruised. It was getting nippy, Lavi wondered how Kanda could stand training without a shirt on in the cold. Lavi himself was pulling his bandanna down to cover his ears more, and pulling the rim of his coat up enough to cover his nose. It was the last day of March, and the cold had not left London.

When he looked back towards Yuu, he found that the older boy had sat down, his back to one of the trees that surrounded the forest area where he trained. The ground was almost entirely made up of gnarled roots of the old trees, it was a wonder that anyone could keep their footing on the wet, mossy, uneven surface. Never mind the fact that he was blindfolded. A fact that made Lavi all the more sure that Kanda was unaware of his presence.

"You can come out now, I'm too tired to kill you, baka usagi."

_Damn, ya just can't get by this guy! _

Lavi stepped out from where he was hiding. "Damn, Yuu-chan, do you have some built-in radar that tells you when anyone's around?"

"Yes. The best way to avoid what you don't like it to know where it is."

"Ouch. If you don't like me, then why call me out?"

"'Cause I'm cold and intent on stealing your scarf."

_Hah! So he _is_ cold! I knew he couldn't be warm like that!_

As soon as Lavi was within arm's distance, Kanda made good on his words and yanked the orange scarf from around his neck, consequently choking Lavi and pulling him down to his knees. "Geez, Yuu, you could at least be a little gentle...and how'd you know where my scarf would be? You've still got a blindfold on! You coulda grabbed somethin' completely different!"

"Che. Like I'd make such a mistake."

"Do you have x-ray vision or something?"

"Shut up and sit down, unless you plan to kneel like that the rest of the day."

_This is startin' to freak me out...Could he at least take off the blindfold before he acts like he can actually see me!?_

Lavi moved over to Kanda on his knees, leaning over him slightly as he took the blindfold off the other before he could make some other observation that he shouldn't be able to. "Seriously, do you have x-ray vision? Do you know all the awesome stuff you could do with that!?" Lavi could think of quite a few things that could be done, like looking into the women's bath, peeking under certain people's clothes without their big brothers killing him...

"What the heck are you talking about?!"

It took a minute for it to occur to Lavi that Kanda really might have no idea what he was talking about. After all, he'd only knew so much English, and Lavi could think of no reason why Tiedoll would bother to teach Kanda about random things like x-ray vision, or x-rays themselves for that matter.

On a separate note, why was Kanda wearing bandages around his chest? Wouldn't a shirt keep the cold away better? Or had he gotten injured on a recent mission?

Kanda stared at Lavi, who didn't seem to realize he was staring back; why the heck was he just kneeling over him? He already got the blindfold off him, he could move away now, mission accomplished, he didn't have to go home, but he had to get the hell off of Kanda.

"You can get off anytime now," Kanda said, in a way that made it obvious he was really saying "You really should get off before I have enough energy to kill you."

Lavi stopped thinking about pointless things and stole a quick kiss before getting off of Kanda; suddenly his mind was flooded with all sorts of fun ways to use the blindfold that was still in his hand, and reasons why he should've left it on the other boy, as ineffective as it seemed to be. Now that he had the space to move without hitting Lavi, Kanda wrapped the pilfered scarf around his neck and lower face.

"Wow, you're being oddly calm Yuu, in a good mood?"

Kanda wasn't exactly in a good mood, it was more like he was coming off some adrenaline-fueled high that he always went on after training, fighting, anything that involved using his innocence really. Not like he would bother explaining all the to Lavi. "Hn, tired," was all he said, which would just have to be enough, because he didn't feel like saying anything more, and if Kanda Yuu doesn't want to do something, he doesn't.

"Right, you just-"

"Missed you? Yeah right, I think you should go on long missions more often, the silence was nice."

'_A lie...'_ An inner voice chided him; an inner voice that was quickly stabbed to death with Kanda's mental Mugen. It wasn't a lie, he liked quiet, he liked peacefulness, he liked time to himself. _'Lying...'_ Apparently, inner voices don't die.

"Yeah, it'd be great to go on a long mission together, huh?" Once again, Lavi's ability to warp everything Kanda said came into play. "It'd be better if the Panda didn't come, but then I'd have more work to do on the mission...So maybe it wouldn't be."

"You should show more respect to your elders," Kanda said, mentally adding that Lavi should show more respect to everyone, himself included. Technically, he was Lavi's elder... Lavi could start by not using his first name, and not invading his personal space every chance he gets.

"What're you talkin' about?! I'm a rebellious teen! I've gotta use this precious time to be as irresponsible, unruly, and disrespectful as possible while I still have an excuse! Geez Yuu-chan, with that mentality, you're gonna waste away your youth!"

"Well that explains it..."

"What explains what?"

"Your thought process explains why you're such an idiot."

"You never give me a break..."

000

It was dark out now, and far too cold for Kanda, who could no longer hide his shivering and refused to let Lavi cuddle with him for warmth. Lavi himself was hungry, he wanted to eat something warm and filling, and pickin' on Yuu-chan wasn't worth missing dinner. Besides, he could just as easily do that inside. With his scarf back around his neck.

_Hm...actually, I wanna see if he remembers to give it back._

The duo cut through the training room, Kanda stopping by the changing rooms to get his uniform and shirt, which he usually left there because it was convenient. While he put on layer after layer and enjoyed the heat each one brought, he didn't bother to remove the scarf he's stolen, though it was obvious he was aware of it being there. He liked the feel of the soft material around his neck, rather than the usual cloth of his uniform, which was less than comfortable at times. Lavi wondered if Kanda really did intend to actually steal his scarf, rather than just borrowing it. He allowed Kanda to keep his scarf on during dinner, and waited until they were safely out of the dining hall before asking about it.

"So, you ever gonna give my scarf back?" Lavi asked, being as casual as he could be. He kinda wanted his scarf back, and he'd do just about anything to get it back; quite a few interesting ideas came to mind on how he could go about getting it back, and all the fun he could have in the process. Maybe he was more interested in _getting_ the scarf back, rather than actually having it.

Kanda smirked slightly; no, he had intentions of giving the scarf back. "Why? Want it back?"

Lavi raised his visible eyebrow, he didn't take Kanda's question as a "yes" or "no", he took it as a challenge, which worked just fine for him. Maybe Yuu-chan was in a better mood than he first thought?

"Of course, so hand it over." Lavi, of course, knew by now that he wouldn't get his scarf back by just asking.

"Take it back yourself," Kanda said, taking the end of the scarf and throwing it over his shoulder as he turned to leave. Swishing, that's what he was doing, swishing down the hall; That's how his long exorcist coat made it look anyway. Lavi followed after, the game had only just begun, but he was already enjoying it. He faintly wondered why Kanda would suddenly start something like this, maybe absence could make even Kanda's heart grow fonder? Or maybe he'd somehow gotten drunk? Was he made delusional by a cold? He had been outside in the biting cold half-naked, it wouldn't be much of a surprise to Lavi if he had.

Lavi grabbed the end of the scarf that Kanda had thrown over his shoulder, using it to twirl Kanda so that he was facing Lavi. He used said scarf to yank Kanda into a kiss which was supposed to distract him long enough for Lavi to get his scarf back. Kanda didn't push him away, but he didn't respond either. Lavi, not believing that Kanda would be the type to give into anyone after only a few months, was now convinced that Kanda was sick, and by kissing him he was taking in thousands of germs that were going to give him a killer cold.

"Lavi...WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING!?"

_shiiiiiiiit..._

Lavi would recognize the anger-laden voice of his mentor any day, no matter what he was doing. "I've told you a million times not to mess around! And with another exorcist no less! How dare you take advantage of another boy like that! You've stunned the kid!"

_Yuu ... You bastard..._

Lavi got the distinct feeling he'd been set up, though logic said that Kanda couldn't possibly have known that Bookman was going to come when he did. The ranting continued. "Something so...Well, let go of the child idiot! Do I need to spank you!?"

"Aaaaah...Pandaaaaaaa, don't say embarrassing things like that! Besides you cant do that to me anymore! I'm too old for that!"

"Fine, if I can't smack some sense into you, maybe I should kick some into that thick skull of yours!?" Bookman raged, then sent himself in a flying kick towards Lavi's head. Thus, a new habit was born, and Kanda found that he had a possible ally in Bookman.

_And I got the scarf... _Kanda mentally bragged as he walked away, leaving Lavi to get the crap kicked out of him by Bookman.

**Hehe...Kanda's rather ooc in this chapter, but it was so worth it. Well, maybe you don't think he was all that much, 'cause Saya could somehow see Kanda doing that...then again, she's read so many doujin/fanfics that she's probably confusing canon Kanda and fanfic Kanda...eheh.**


	15. Comfort Object

**Ah...sorry for the lateness, but as those of you who read the one-shot posted yesterday ,Saya didn't have enough time to write more than a drabble because of a wedding. She probably could've gotten the entire chapter typed yesterday, if she had planned the chapter out by then, but because she had no idea what she wanted to write, it would've been impossible. So sorry.**

**Saya owns the play but not the actors, they belong to Hoshino-ka.**

**Rated T... Because a kiss doesn't call for an M rating.** **Rating will get higher with the chapters.**

15. Comfort Object

Lavi had to admit, it was entertaining, to see Kanda walking around, with his scarf on, wearing it as a blatant challenge. However, Lavi was also sure Kanda must be sick, because Lavi hadn't expected the other to ever start playing in this little game he'd set up. He still had yet to get Kanda to the medical wing though, because Kanda was stubborn, and anytime Lavi tried to touch Kanda (because dragging someone anywhere involves touching the person) Bookman would come raining down on his head and _he'd_ be the one who needed to go to the medical ward.

Lavi was amazed at how quickly time had slipped by him, it was the first week of April (Lavi nearly got killed by everyone in the Tower on April Fool's day), and three weeks and months had passed him by, leaving only two months and one week left of the original six of his game. He'd been hanging around Kanda for over a quarter of a year now, and what did he have to show for it? What had he learned? While it was true that he was gone for one month, so that month shouldn't count, technically, the amount of information he had gathered on the other child was still pitiful. All he really knew was that the kid was irritable, anti-social, and over-protective of his room. He didn't even know _why _Kanda wanted to keep people away from his room so bad; Lavi had heard that when one of the cleaners tried to go in to clean his room, Kanda had actually sliced the poor guy with Mugen and he ended up with nightmares for a week (though if they were caused by Mugen or how frightening Kanda was, no one knows). And the poor chap was just doing his job, too.

But, now was not the time to think of abused cleaners, it was breakfast, the most important meal of the day, and the one time of day when Lavi could be sure he'd have an opportunity to annoy Kanda. Kanda was eating his soba as always, scarf still wrapped around his neck; it seemed happy to be there, and in Lavi's mind it was mocking him, saying "Hah, I get to be wrapped all around Yuu-chan, wrapped nice and tightly and warmly around him. haha." Damn scarf. Lavi wanted nothing more than to tug it off the samurai and then use it to stop Kanda from killing him as he kissed the kid blue; Kanda could blame the scarf for being so suggestive in it's taunting.

Instead of binding Kanda with a strip of cloth, he chose to just tug on the end of it as he sat down next to him at the table; he knew he couldn't sneak up on Kanda, the blindfold thing from the week before proved it. "Mornin' Yuu-chan."

"Stop calling me that."

"YUUUUU-CHAAAAAAAAN!"

_Twitch_

"Yuu-kun?"

_Twitch_

"Yuyuu-tama?"

"I'm going to kill you now, and I won't even give you a chance to run." Lavi took this as his cue to run for it, but just as Yuu said, he had barely gotten out of his seat before Kanda had taken the scarf from his neck, wrapped it around Lavi's, and yanked the other back into his seat with the ends of the scarf. "Heh, I meant it when I said I wouldn't let you run..." Kanda was now sitting behind Lavi, almost leering as he whispered his death-threat in the other's ear. Kanda's voice and expression made Lavi shiver not unpleasantly, and he once again blamed his scarf for making him think along the lines of bondage.

Kanda was drawing Mugen and ready to cut the other up when Lavi was saved by an angel in the form of Reever Wenhamm. "Er...Kanda, Komui wants to see you now. He's got a new mission for you." Actually, Komui had said to give Kanda ten minutes to finish eating, but Reever thought that he should do something to save Lavi's life. Kanda nodded to Reever, as though he weren't strangling a rabbit, and pulled the scarf away from Lavi's neck, wrapping it around his own. Lavi watched as Kanda headed towards the doors to leave the dining hall, and couldn't stop the little chuckle that bubbled up from his chest. The war over his scarf had become a game inside their game, in a way, whoever had it at the time was the winner.

It was rather unfair though, because Kanda had an ally and Lavi didn't. Anytime Lavi tried to get the scarf back, he'd get his ass handed to him by the old panda. However, whenever Kanda saw fit to threaten Lavi, Bookman was nowhere to be found. Kanda had a powerful ally indeed, for an angry and murderous Yuu was hot and easily taken advantage of (because Kanda was a close-combat fighter, and close combat means being within arm's length of Lavi which meant lots of glomping and kiss-stealing). On the other hand, an angry Panda-jiji was a scary mofo who could easily hospitalize him, and then confine him to the control room until Lavi had read every tome in there ten times over. And Lavi sure as hell didn't want to steal a kiss from Bookman.

Kanda was winning the battle yes, he was keeping Lavi away when he wanted him away, but he was losing the war, because Lavi wanted to know more about the person who kept Lavi away from him, and pulled Lavi closer at the same time. Kanda's indecision made him all the more interesting to the red head. Kanda was losing the war big-time.

000

"So, when are you leavin'?" Lavi asked, leaning against the wall near Komui's office. Kanda sighed, he'd been so close to killing Lavi before, and already, the kid was back at his side, ready to annoy him somehow. Lavi had guts, Kanda would admit, but they were wasted on an idiot such as he.

"After lunch, my train's scheduled to leave at 2." Kanda started walking down the hall, to his room, he'd put up with Lavi until they reached the door before his, then Lavi had to leave, or suffer death.

"Wow, they're shippin' you out quick. Where are ya goin'?"

"Not far, there's been an attack on some village in Spain, I'm just going to exterminate the akuma there."

"Alone?"

"It's not that hard to slice through shit."

"But you're slicin' through a lot of shit, isn't it tiring?"

Kanda scoffed, he wouldn't break a sweat over something so simple as an akuma extermination. "I've been on missions like this one before. I'll probably be back by the end of the week. These are just petty missions that Komui needs to clear off his desk, but are too little for more senior exorcists."

"Wow Yuu-chan, I'm surprised. You don't seem like the type of person who'd take getting little missions easy." Lavi thought that Kanda would be more annoyed by that, he was expecting Kanda to want a better mission, one that was a bit more important. But Kanda was looking at things a bit differently. Someone had to do those missions, right? And by taking them all, he could gain all the field experience he wanted, he'd always be busy, and he'd be conditioning himself all the while. Not that he needed to, he'd been in fine enough shape when he'd come to the Order, because he went through intense training so he could take over the family dojo, seeing as no one in their right mind would entrust something so important to Hayate.

"At the moment, I'm just a new exorcist. I can be as confident as I want to be in my abilities, but experience always wins against strength alone. I know where I stand, there's no reason for me to blow up over getting little missions." Besides, Kanda had been the one asking for missions in the first place, he had no right to complain about what he got; beggars can't be choosy. When Kanda's speech-in-miniature ended, he stopped and turned to Lavi expectantly. Lavi picked up on this, and took a minute to take in his surroundings.

"Ah, this is my stop, huh? Well, see ya later Yuu-chan." Kanda nodded, satisfied that Lavi understood this, and started towards his door, though he was fully expecting it when Lavi pulled him back to give him a peck on the cheek. Kanda pushed the sheath of Mugen forward, making the hilt hit Lavi's stomach. Hard. Lavi hunched forward in pain, but he still managed to say: "I love ya too, Yuu-chan." Kanda walked to his door and slammed it in what would've been Lavi face, had he allowed Lavi within five feet of his door in the first place.

Kanda threw the scarf and his coat on his bed, it was a bit stuffy in his room, because there was no cross-breeze, and it was too hot to have so much on at once. He wouldn't need much for his mission, it was supposed to be short and simple, he'd probably be spending more time traveling to and from the Order that he would fighting. At worst, he might need two changes of clothes, rather than just one. Kanda only packed one spare change of clothes, because things wouldn't reach their worst.

This task was finished in just minutes, and Kanda decided to waste a few hours in his room, sleeping before the mission, because once he got there he knew there wouldn't be any of that, and he still vividly remembered his first mission, so he refused to sleep on the trains unless there was another exorcist with him to wake him up if things got bad.

plopping down on his bed in a way that he'd never do in front of anyone else, Kanda turned his head toward where his coat and Lavi's scarf lay, he felt so embarrassingly pathetic for actually keeping it. While yes, at first he'd taken it because it was damn cold out, and he'd kept it to start a little game with (and when he'd checked the morning after he took it, he found that he did indeed have a bit of a fever), he'd never really meant to keep it after that, he'd intended to give it back the next morning. But that night Kanda had been expecting nightmares, because he hadn't worn himself out that day, but he was visited by none. At first, he thought it was just a coincidence, but two lazy days later made him rethink that.

That's where that pathetic feeling came from, that stupid scarf. Kanda could actually get a good night's sleep in his room without killing himself during the day because of that thing. That damned flower glowed brightly, right across the room from him, but Lavi's scarf was always hanging off the edge of his bed, and if he closed his eyes, he could block out that glowing lotus, and focus on the scent of dusty books, fresh paper, and ink that clung to the strip of material after years spent on a person who was always in libraries. Had Kanda felt the need to actually sniff the thing (he never did), he'd realize that it smelt like Lavi too, but because he wasn't aware of that (or was he?), he could just convince himself that he was comforted by the scent of the library downstairs that he'd often taken shelter in. Kanda felt completely weak because he kept the thing; having it around was like keeping a stuffed animal around, or having a security blanket or something pansy-ish like that. Damn, he hated feeling weak.

000

"No scarf Yuu-chan? Finally givin' it back?"

_It was hot to see you walkin' around in my stuff though ... Wonder if I could get him to wear my bandanna at least once..._

"No."

"Awe, takin' a lil' piece of me with you, cute."

"No."

"Waaaah, then where the hell's my scarf, ya damn klepto!?"

"In my room, if you feel the need to take it back."

"Yuu...are you giving me permission to go in your room...?" Lavi's eye was wide, he'd never imagined he'd be allowed access to the mysterious chamber he'd been forbidden from.

"Hell no. If you go in there, I'll set your intestines on fire, rip them out of your stomach, choke you with them, then shove them back down your crushed throat. You'd be surprised how long a person can live without their intestines." Lavi should've known it was too good to be true, but the way Kanda said all of that with a straight, perfectly casual face was almost disturbing.

"Ehe...I'll be sure to remember that..." Lavi feared for his intestines. Still, the way Kanda had said so flippantly just where his scarf was, seemed like a challenge, or at least to him it did.

_Yuu-chan you're so evil! Purposely makin' a guy curious like that..._

**Indeed, Kanda is horrible, making poor Lavi want to go into his room, and then saying something so scary. Bad boy, bad. The intestine thing, Saya's not too sure about. Actually, that way of killing someone was suggested to her by one of her friends, and he said that a person can actually like for a certain amount of time without their intestines before they die. He knows a lot of random stuff like that, Saya wouldn't doubt that it's true...her friends know some slightly disturbing things, huh? **

**Anyways, sorry for the long authors note, but Saya feels that she should take a vote on something. It seems that a few people are kinda annoyed with her third-person-speaking. Saya's hear to please you lovelies with her stories, not go on in a pov you hate, so please tell her if you think she should stop or not. She'll stop if a lot of people want her to, she won't be mad if you say it annoys you, promise.**


	16. Temptation

**HOLY JESUS ON A POGO STICK THIS IS IMPORTANT! Saya will not be able to update at all thanksgiving week, and she probably wont be able to for a few days after that too. For more info go to her profile. **

**Saya owns the play but not the actors, they belong to Hoshino-ka.**

**Rated T... Because a kiss doesn't call for an M rating.** **Rating will get higher with the chapters.**

16. Temptation

_Damn...I really should've given it back..._

As his trip wore on, Kanda felt more and more stupid for leaving the scarf in his room. He should've given it back, keeping the stupid thing wasn't worth having Lavi in his room. Lavi had probably taken what he said as some sort of challenge, as some new part of their game, but he really didn't want anyone in his room. That flower...he couldn't let anyone see it. It wasn't as though he would be embarrassed if people took him owning the thing the wrong way, but it was the fact that the lotus had an aura that was all it's own. Just by looking at it one can feel it's oppressive aura; it glows with life, but when looking at it, all Kanda could see was death.

_Don't look at it...don't see what's left of me..._

000

Oh, did Lavi had a predicament. He couldn't concentrate on anything, he just couldn't, and he couldn't stand still either. So he drifted through the castle, with no real purpose in mind. But there was a problem: any time he stopped, for any reason, he was always in front of Yuu's door. he wanted to go in so badly, but at the same time he valued his life, and knew Kanda wouldn't hesitate to kill him if he went in.

_I'm being stupid. There's probably nothing special about his room anyways, all the rooms are the same, and Kanda doesn't seem like the decorative type. If I went in there, all I'd see is a bed, a bureau, and a closet with a bunch of white shirts and black pants. Nothing out of the ordinary, and nothing worth getting killed over._

He kept telling himself this, but really, he was squirming inside; he really wanted to know what was in Kanda's room that would make him so secretive about it.

_No...there's nothing interesting in there. The only reason I have to go in there is to get my scarf, but that is not worth my life. I don't wanna get killed with my intestines!_

_**Yeah right, you don't care whether what's there is interesting or not, you just want to go in there to prove you're right, to prove you can! It's the adventure that's got you goin'.**_

Lavi stopped dead in his tracks, and sure enough he was in front of Kanda's room. That wasn't the troubling thing though, the troubling thing was the little voice he was hearing...

_...Little voices are a sign of insanity... I'm hearing little voices...Holy shnikes am I insane!?_

_**No...I'm not that kinda little voice, I'm the mental manifestation of your curiosity. **_

_I see, I see...I'm crazy._

After deciding that he was crazy, Lavi continued his walk, but because he was in a circular area of the Tower, he knew he would eventually be back at that damn door again.

_**No, you're not. You're just curious, very, very curious. So curious in fact, that you will eventually walk through that door, right over there.**_

_Nooooooo. It's not worth the risk!!_

_**Listen, Yuu-chan just left on a mission a few hours ago-**_

_A_ short_ mission._

_**Yes, but he's going to Spain, that's going to take at least a day. Since he hasn't come back yet, we can assume that he didn't leave anything behind. He will probably be gone for three days, at the least. You've got three whole days to sneak into his room. **_

_he told me not to though._

_**Since when does "Lavi" ever listen?**_

_He started listening when "Bookman" decided not to die! Curiosity killed the cat! It kills cats like me! _

_**Losing your nerve just 'cause one cat died...That cat was curious about death, okay?! And Satisfaction brought it back! Kanda will never know as long as you don't touch anything.**_

_Um...but if he notices the scarf gone, he's gonna know it was me._

_**Then leave the scarf.**_

_THEN WHAT'S THE POINT OF GOING IN THERE!? _

_**To see his room, duh. Come on, you should know this. **_

_I WILL NOT FALL INTO TEMPTATION! _

_**I'm not temptation, I told you already, I'm your curiosity, given a voice inside your mind, because you're really just that curious.**_

_You say that, but I don't believe you._

_**Temptation is a pretty lady in a red dress. Do I look like a pretty woman in a red dress?**_

_You're just a disembodied voice, I cant see you._

_**I'm you, so tell me, do**_** you**_** look like a pretty lady in a red dress?**_

It took Lavi a moment to process that thought; he would know better than anyone else that he wasn't a pretty woman in a red dress...

_No. No I am not. But who's to say temptation cant be a man?_

_**Fine, do I look like Kanda in a red dress? He's a pretty boy.**_

There was mental silence for a moment, and then Lavi burst into laughter, and a nosebleed seemed eminent. Kanda would look damn good in a red dress, Lavi was worried he'd get a cross-dressing kink if he kept thinking about it.

_I think that line sold it for me..._

_**So you'll go exploring Kanda's room?**_

_No, I mean I'm sure you're not temptation anymore._

_**Awe, come on, you've gotta go in now! To make sure he doesn't really have any red dresses. 'Cause if he does, you've gotta make him wear it...**_

_NO. I'm pro-life, thank you._

_**Which is why you're moving toward the door, right?**_

_Shut up._

Oh yes, despite how Lavi was completely against going into Kanda's room, he found himself moving toward the door, ready to intrude on what was treated like sacred ground. His hand was on the door handle, and he was ready to push the door open, but then, his conscience caught up with him. He retracted his hand, pulling it to his chest like he'd hurt it.

_I can't go in there. _

Lavi turned around and went to the library, where he knew the old Panda would be waiting for him. He needed to stay occupied, and with Bookman around, he was sure to be just that. So maybe getting work to do from Bookman was basically asking to work like a slave, if it would keep him away from this door, then he'd go for it.

000

Kanda was still feeling uneasy, as he sat o the shuddering train. This was for a different reason, though. Night had overtaken the world, and people were walking through the halls to get to their compartments. The train's attendants were going about, making their last rounds for the night, lights were going out, and a peaceful calm was falling over the train. It was the perfect time for an attack, and though Kanda would normally be preparing to sleep at that time, he couldn't allow himself to rest even a little bit. He wouldn't be meeting with any finders until he his Spain's border, so there was no one to wake him, and he'd managed to read through the information packet that had been given to him already. Lavi had been forcing his help on poor Kanda any chance he got, an though Kanda would never admit it, Lavi really had helped him there...

He couldn't sleep, because he had to remain alert, he had to jump into action at any sign of an Akuma. Kanda knew he could stay up for days on end if he needed to, and he would, but it was still a difficult thing to do. He fought with his tired eyes, he'd grown accustomed to going to sleep at a particular time when he was in the Tower, it was always a bit annoying to have to keep himself up when he was supposed to be asleep. He took comfort in the fact that even if he wanted to fall asleep, he wouldn't be able to sleep; it was a good thing he'd left that scarf at home.

_I still should've given it back though...or maybe I should've told him I took it with me? I wont be making this mistake twice..._

000

Lavi looked from side to side, and then he did it again, he repeated this pattern 41 times, to be sure that the coast was clear, and on the 42nd time, he went in.

_Because nothing can beat 42..._

Conscience be damned, his curiosity had beat the shit out of it and locked it in a closet filled with chloroform.

Closing the door quickly behind him, Lavi took a minute to hold a mini-celebration, for he had successfully infiltrated Kanda's room. However, he calmed down when he felt a strange aura. He looked ahead, into the room. It was right there, on the bureau, the object that was causing that feeling.

A beautiful lotus glowed a pale pink. It was inside an hourglass, and the image nearly sparkled in it's perfection. Just one petal rested on the bottom of the hourglass, and something about the picture was startlingly morbid. Lavi didn't like the feeling that flower gave off. It made him feel like he was at a funeral, except he didn't know who died, like he was just sad because that's how he was supposed to feel, because everyone's sadness had over-whelmed him.

"N-no wonder...Yuu can't sleep in here...Why the hell...?" Lavi asked the air, it wouldn't answer him, no one would tell him the truth behind that flower. He wouldn't ask about it either, he couldn't, it would prove he was in here. But why on earth would Kanda keep something that gave off such a hopeless aura?

Lavi didn't check to make sure it was safe before he rush out of Kanda's room.

000

Kanda berated himself for nearly falling asleep, it was pitiful that he couldn't keep himself away. However, beating himself up was just a way to divert his attention away from the almost-dream he'd been having while he'd drifted between consciousness and sleep. He'd seen Lavi, standing in what was definitely his doorway, staring at what was definitely his Lotus. He'd stared and stared, and then he ran, like the thing had frightened him.

_That better have been just a dream, or Lavi will die._

Still, it felt to real to be just a dream, but it couldn't have been real, because he wasn't there. Yet...something told Kanda that he would have to find out what Lavi did when he got home, because Lavi had definitely done something.

000

"Lavi!" Lavi looked back, finding that it had been Lenalee who'd called his name. She had her Dark Boots activated, and Lavi wondered why she was in such a rush to see him.

"Yeah?"

"It's Kanda... He's back."

"Awe, and you came to get me? Thanks!" Lavi got up from his seat in the library, ready to go and annoy Kanda with a welcome home. He'd done his best to change his view of that flower, he decided to think about it logically, it was nothing more than just another thing to write about when the time came to write about Kanda, nothing more, nothing less. Maybe Kanda was into creepy things? It was just something else to find out about.

"NO! Don't go, you've gotta hide!" Lenalee looked close to spastic, waving her hands quickly in front of her and shaking her head furiously. Lavi just stared, she was being weird, but it was kinda cute, in it's own spazzy way. "He's_ pissed_. Really,_ really _pissed. What the heck could you have done when he wasn't even here!?"

Lavi looked horror-stricken, how could Kanda have found out!? Lavi tried to calm down, maybe Kanda wasn't sure he'd done anything, maybe he was just assuming Lavi would do something, so he was getting mad in advance? Maybe with a little talking, Lavi could save his hide. Maybe he could do all of that after and get to hiding now.

"Where's the best place to hide?!"

"Ge ge's office!"

"But that's where Kanda will be headed when he can't find me!"

"But with all those papers in there, he'll never find you!"

"But what if I get a paper cut!?"

"A paper cut, or a Mugen cut!? Choose!"

"A paper cut, right."

Lenalee picked Lavi up and flew him to Komui's office at the speed of sound, though such dramatics really were uncalled for.

_I told you curiosity kills cats like me! I don't wanna be killed with my charred intestines! _

**Yes, so as Saya said earlier, there's gonna be a whole week of no updates. Cry, cry, yes, she knows, it's a tragedy...-sarcasm-. So yeah...Saya's gonna pack everything she needs, her drawing tools, all of DGM and Godchild, maybe some Shugo Chara, and two notebooks, a five subject for her usual stories, and a regular notebook for any one-shots that come to mind. It's gonna be sad though...'cause there's gonna be a funeral...TT.TT**

**Oh, and the "temptation is a pretty lady in a red dress" thing actually has a story behind it. Saya was in her crazy 8****th**** grade social studies class, going out while her teacher talked about random music with one of the kids in her class. Then, out of nowhere, the kid says "Temptation is a pretty lady in a red dress". Needless to say, it was the line of the year. And then...this year at lunch, Saya's friend wanted her to buy cookies ('cause she gives him a dollar for buying them for her, she's too lazy to get them herself), and said that to her. Saya told him she didn't go for girls, so instead he said "Fine, then temptation's a pretty **_**man**_** in a red dress." ...Saya nearly died laughing, because Kanda in a red dress was the first thing that came to mind...eheh...sorry for babbling...eheheh...**


	17. Cat and Mouse

**Hehe...um...Saya just wants to sleep, she's so tired...she's feeling crazy because of the tiredness...you know, how you get hyper from exhaustion? Yeah...Saya wants sleeeeeeeeeeeep. She needs to sleepy sleepy...**

**Saya owns the play but not the actors, they belong to Hoshino-ka.**

**Rated T... Because a kiss doesn't call for an M rating.** **Rating will get higher with the chapters.**

17. Cat and Mouse

Kanda was utterly pissed, he never should've let Lenalee know he was after Lavi, she probably flew off to hide him! Kanda hadn't bothered to actually _look_ for Lavi, but he was keeping an eye out for him, in case he spotted the red head along the way. It was totally possible, Lavi had this habit of appearing everywhere he was...

_Damn you Lenalee! Helping that bastard!_

000

"Lavi...why are you carrying Lenalee!?"

"What?! She's carrying me!" Lavi and Lenalee had made it to Komui's office safely, but it looked like Komui could be yet another threat to Lavi...

"What did you do to my dear Lenaleeeeee!?"

"I didn't do anything to her, I swear!"

"Ge ge we don't have time for this! If we don't hide Lavi, he'll be killed!"

Lenalee held Komui back as he tried to attack Lavi with his insane drill of doom.

"HE DESERVES DEATH!!"

"Ge ge, think seriously!" She yelled, kicking Komui's head. He started sniffling, but otherwise, he got serious.

"So, why does he need to hide?"

"Kanda's after him...For real this time..."

"But won't Kanda be coming here?"

"You think he could ever find Lavi in all this paperwork...?" Komui bit his lip, could he really have Lavi here while he discussed Kanda's latest mission? He knew there were some things he couldn't mention with Lavi around, but those were the same questions that Kanda would get suspicious over if he didn't ask, even though those questions annoy him. But then Lenalee gave him _that_ look, and he completely melted...

"Alright, but stay as far back as you possibly can in that forest of papers. I'll find you when it's safe to come out."

Lenalee and Lavi quickly made a place for him in the farthest back corner of the room, in the middle of some very large piles of paper. If Komui didn't know they were there, he'd think he was alone. "I'm gonna go, if Kanda sees me here, it'll be suspicious," Lenalee said, before leaving the office. It didn't take long for the office door to be slammed open, and Lavi could only assume it was Kanda.

"Kanda, welcome back, mission accomplished?" Komui asked, keeping his voice down, he hoped that Kanda would do that same, so that Lavi wouldn't hear them. Kanda followed his lead, though he did find it a bit strange.

"Of course, it was as simple as ever." Kanda tossed his mission report to the table, it landed perfectly in front of Komui.

"That's good, how many Akuma would you say there were there?"

"Around 30 lvl 1s, and 3 lvl 2s. I don't see why you're asking me all of this, you could just read it, it's all in my report." Kanda had pointed this out every time he came back from a mission. But by this point, he knew Komui just asked these questions because he didn't feel like reading the report, and by talking, he could waste time and avoid working.

"Oh, that's quite a few, did you destroy them all?"

"Would I have come back if I didn't?"

"Yes, yes...geez Kanda, you've got to lighten up! It's no good to always be so tense! You're young, live life! Find romance, get a hobby, or something!"

"...What the hell?" why did Komui always have to bring up some random topic or other every time he came?

Lavi tried not to squirm, but he couldn't help it. All he could hear was murmuring, and he was so curious! He wanted to move closer but he didn't want to risk getting caught, curiosity kills cats like him! But, in the end, seeing as he was already going to be killed, he figured he should satisfy his curiosities before he died. He snuck closer, so he could hear their conversation.

"So...did anything change?" Lavi had to strain his ear to hear Komui, his voice had gotten even quieter!

"No, nothing changed."

"Did your healing rate change?"

"It seems about the same."

Lavi wondered why something like that would change.

"You didn't take any unnecessary risks, right?"

"Of course not! This is my life we're talking about, I'm not foolish enough to waste it twice. I learned well enough the first time."

"Keep it down Kanda, no need to disturb the whole castle."

_His life? Twice? What's going on..?_

"Whatever, I'm done here," Kanda said in a low tone, before leaving the room. He stopped for all of a second though, when he thought he saw some black that didn't belong in the piles of white paper.

_I'm just being paranoid..._

When Kanda left, Lavi scrambled back to his original spot, ready to pretend he had never moved, and that he'd heard nothing.

Komui sighed, he knew it annoyed Kanda to be asked those questions, but he had to. He wanted to make sure that if anything happened, he could find out why and prevent it from happening again, or furthering any. Kanda had told him about that curse for a reason, right? For help, right?

_He's like a swan, desperately trying his hardest to keep up, to stay on his path, but no one can see his struggles, he's always calm on the surface._

Komui sighed again as he walked into the forest of paper to find where Lenalee had put Lavi.

"Lavi, you can come out now." Lavi hopped up, ready to head to the door, but Komui grabbed his shoulder. "Wait."

"Uh...yeah?"

"Did you... hear anything?"

"Well, there was a bit of mumbling, but that was it, why?" Lavi lied smoothly, it was something he was good at, used to. Lying was something he'd had to do every time he told someone his name. He wasn't even sure what his "Real" name was anymore, he gave it up so long ago. When someone asked him his preferences, he lied, because those changed with his name, he had no "Real" preferences. He basically lived a lie, as cliché as that sounds.

Komui was reassured despite the falseness of the statement and let Lavi go. "It's lunch, you should get something to eat. I think Kanda's cooled down a bit now." Lavi nodded and head out of the room. He had no intention of walking to his death just yet though, because Kanda would definitely still be pissed.

000

Kanda felt very backwards at the moment. Usually it was Lavi trying to find him, and him trying his best to hide from the other. Now, it was he who was hunting Lavi; and yes, he was hunting, he fully intended to kill his prey...

"Lavi!" Kanda shouted, spotting a tuff of red hair that was undoubtably Lavi.

"Oh shit..." Lavi jumped and ran, but when it came to speed, no one could beat Kanda (with the exception of Lenalee, of course). Soon Kanda had Lavi by his collar and was dragging him that way down to the nearest dark hall.

"You went into my room, didn't you?" It was more of a statement than a question.

"No."

"Don't you lie to me. I know you did!"

"I didn't." Lavi stayed calm, looking Kanda straight in the eye. People who lie show it physically, and with their expressions, but Lavi knew what to look for in a liar, so he knew what to do when he was the one lying. So he kept his eyes on Kanda (which may have actually been a little intimidating in itself, he'd grown quite a bit over the last few months, poor Kanda seemed to just get shorter and shorter...), his posture stayed open, and he kept his hands away from his face and neck.

Kanda looked a little worse than just pissed, and even though Lavi wasn't acting guilty, Kanda didn't believe him, he couldn't.

"You did, I know you did!"

"And what makes you think I went in there?" Lavi asked, wondering why Kanda was so convinced he'd been in there. Kanda looked down, his hands tightening into fists. He looked angry, and almost sad, slightly offended, and almost a little embarrassed. His eyes were set in a glare, but there was something shameful behind them. Actually, Kanda almost looked ready to cry, and Lavi had no idea what he'd do in that situation.

He should've known better than to expect waterworks from Kanda though, instead, he got a punch to the gut. There was no real reason why Kanda punched Lavi, he just wanted to. Probably because his reason was a little out there, but he wanted to be taken seriously despite that. That, and it was just fun to beat on Lavi...

"Because...I had this dream...vision...I don't know what the hell it was! But it was real...in a way. You were definitely in my room, you saw something and ran..." Kanda wasn't going to say just what he knew Lavi saw, because what if he _was_ wrong? He wouldn't want to spill his secret on accident like that... But that was exactly why Kanda was so angry in the first place. Lavi had seen his lotus and ran. Knowing that ...it almost hurt, was it that horrible? Was his curse- was _he_-so deplorable?

"Yuu, it was just a dream. I wasn't in your room, promise. If I had been in there, wouldn't I have taken my scarf by?"

Kanda huffed, he had no reason to believe that Lavi was lying, nothing but a dream and a gut feeling, but that was all he needed. "Che, you're not that stupid, you wouldn't take proof that you'd been in there."

"Then why would I go in there?"

"Because you're an idiot."

"So I'm a not-so-stupid-idiot, huh?"

"Shut up."

"Hehe. let's go down to the library or somethin' now, shall we?" Lavi asked, casually slipping an arm around Kanda's shoulders, steering him in the direction he wanted to go.

"Whatever-Hey, wait! Don't think you can just lead me around!" Kanda slipped out of Lavi's arm and pushed Mugen out some, hitting Lavi in the gut with it's hilt. He then stalked off to get his soba, which he had neglected to get in his search for Lavi.

000

Kanda slept in what he had now mentally dubbed "his" forest. It was night, and raining lightly, the air was uncharacteristically warm, or at least it felt that way. A light breeze carried the scent of the damp forest, and the sounds of droplets hitting the trees created a natural lullaby. Kanda had spent a little too much time training, and had completely exhausted himself. It wasn't surprising that he'd fallen asleep at the base of one of the trees. It was too bad too, because he probably would've laughed at how much his presence (or lack thereof) was effecting the Tower's favorite siblings. Well, maybe not.

"I can't find Kanda anywhere! He ate dinner and now he's gone!" Lenalee said, bursting into her brother's office. Kanda was getting assigned a new mission right away, and naturally, it was her job to find him. However, she'd searched all over the Tower and couldn't find him, not realizing that he wasn't there at all.

"What? But he has to be around somewhere! No one's left the Tower recently, we would've known if he tried to get out...Right?" Komui was quite worried about this, usually Kanda was always around, waiting to be sent off on some mission or other.

"He's not here, I checked everywhere in the Tower, and the roofs!"

"Then look for Lavi, he always knows where Kanda is! It's almost stalker-ish." Lenalee sweat dropped, Komui definitely hadn't needed to voice that last thought, and the way he said it like it wasn't somewhat creepy was creepy in itself... Then again, Lavi and Komui probably had a few things in common, both like to disturb the peace, both like to annoy certain others with their presence...well, for Lenalee, it was Komui's over-protectiveness that annoyed her...

"Alright...But if I couldn't find Kanda and the two of them are always together, how will I find Lavi?"

"He's more noisy and conspicuous, it'll be easy." Lenalee nodded in agreement, and went to start her search for Lavi so that she could find Kanda...

Naturally, her first stop was the library, but all she found there was an angry Bookman, who was pissed because Lavi was, yet again, shirking out of his duties. Lenalee retreated quickly. She went to the command room next, realizing that she should've gone there first, considering the late hour. Lavi was there, giving Lenalee a questioning look, which quickly turned to amused when she heard her story.

"So, you just need to find Yuu-chan, huh? Did you check his room?"

"Um...Lavi...that would involve going near his room..." Lenalee was afraid of just knocking on Kanda's door, not that she thought he would purposely hurt her, but what if he slashed before he looked!? It was a highly logical fear.

"Just knock and then move out from in front of his door, use your dark boots to do it if you have to. I'll go with you and take the hit if ya want." Lenalee was thankful for the offer, but declined, no need to offer Lavi to the lion, he did that enough on his own...

"Is there anywhere else you can think of where he might be?" she asked, giving him a hopeful look. Lavi took a second to think of this, and sure enough, the answer came to him.

"I know a place, I'll bring him back to Komui's office in a few, ok?"

"Huh? Can't I just come with you?"

"Nope, it's kinda like his special place, I only found out about it on accident. It wouldn't be his spot if everyone knew about it, yeah?" Lenalee nodded in understanding.

_Hm...but if it's Kanda's spot and Lavi knows about it and can go there anytime, wouldn't that make it _their_ spot?_

Lenalee went bright red thinking about it, and was glad that Lavi had turned to go.

000

"Man Yuu, what are you doin' outside sleeping when it's so late?" Lavi muttered softly when he found Kanda, slumped against a tree in the forest. He carefully took Mugen away from Kanda's side, worried that it might be a reflex for him to slice at people when he was woken up... He then proceeded to poke, prod, yell at, and shake Kanda. Nothing.

_geez, I remember him being a really light sleeper... What's going on with this guy? Can't he just make up his mind? Light sleeper, or a heavy sleeper..._

The wind blew again, it was getting chilly, and Lavi could see Kanda was soaked, and shivering slightly. He decided that it was bad enough that Kanda had been out here for however long he had been, and that if all his earlier poking hadn't woken the young samurai up, nothing would. So Lavi picked up Mugen, put it back where it belonged on Kanda's side, and slowly moved to pick up Kanda.

_Ehe...if he wakes up like this, he'll kill me._

Lucky for Lavi, Kanda was too far gone to be woken up by something so simple, and was light, making him easy to carry into the castle and through it's halls. Lenalee was waiting for Lavi at Komui's office, with an impatient Komui, who was tapping his fingers and sipping his coffee. Lavi dropped Kanda off in the command room before heading towards Komui's office.

"So where is he?" Komui asked immediately upon Lavi's entrance.

"He's sleeping. I did everything I could think of to wake him but... it was like poking a rock, no reaction." Komui made a surprised face, he hadn't expected Kanda to be a heavy sleeper. Still, he was sympathetic to the fact that Kanda was tired, and decided that mission could wait until the next day.

000

Kanda's awoke to an unexpected scent: the scent of books. He didn't remember going to the library, and there sure as hell wasn't any reading material in his room. He opened his eyes to an unfamiliar ceiling, where the heck was he?!

"Awake yet, Sleeping Beauty?" Kanda shot up immediately, sending a punch in the direction he'd heard the voice from. Lavi caught his fist, looking just a bit frightened, in a comical way.

"Geez! Are you really so violent whenever you wake up?"

"Where am I?" Kanda said, skipping any apologizing and politeness.

"My room. You fell asleep outside yesterday, and since you don't want me in your room, I took you here."

"Oh." Kanda looked around, the room was covered in books, like it was Lavi's personal library. The movement made his shirt scratch against his skin just a bit.

_Wait...a shirt?_

Kanda was pretty sure he was in his usual training clothes when he fell asleep, which would mean just pants. So why..?

"What the heck?" Kanda looked down at the clothes he was wearing. The shirt had three-quarter sleeves, a low neck, and definitely didn't belong in his closet. And his pants were almost as tight as his uniform's, but definitely not his.

"You were soaked, so I had to get you out of those clothes," Lavi said, with an ever-so-perverted grin. He then leaned forward, and with a few quick movements had transferred his bandana to Kanda's head. Kanda shook with anger and indignation.

"There, and you're perfect! I must say, my bandana looks perfect on you, but please don't steal that, you've already got my scarf."

"Lavi...I'm going to kill you now."

"Love ya too." Kanda jumped up, ready to chase Lavi and wring his neck, and Lavi ran, laughing even as he feared for his life. So goes the game of cat and mouse...

**HOLY FLIPPIN– THIS IS ALMOST 3000 WORDS LONG!! SAYA'S LONGEST CHAPTER EVER! that's really pathetic but whatever, that's fuckin' awesome. And to think, it's half-filler...hehe... **


	18. That Day

**Ugh...This story is being difficult. Saya wrote plenty for her other two stories, but for this one she wrote mostly future chapters. That's all well and good, but how does one get to those future chapters?**

**Saya owns the play but not the actors, they belong to Hoshino-ka.**

**Rated T... Because a kiss doesn't call for an M rating.** **Rating will get higher with the chapters.**

18. That Day

When both teens had finally grown tired of their game of chase, Lavi finally decided to tell Kanda that he had a mission and needed to go see Komui.

"WHAT?! WHY THE F-"

"Keep it pg Yuu."

"Che, idiot! You're not supposed to wait to tell people those things!" Kanda stomped off in the direction of Lavi's door, but not before whacking Lavi over the head with Mugen.

"Er...Yuu."

"What?!" Kanda snapped, giving Lavi the evil eye.

"You're still in my clothes, and I know how much you love to steal my stuff but..." Kanda took a second to realize that he was, in fact, still in Lavi's clothes. He hadn't changed because he'd been too busy trying to kill Lavi, and leaving for a change of clothes would give the idiot time to hide. Kanda took the bandana off, and shot it at Lavi like it was a rubber band, and if it weren't for the fact that the other was still in the room, he would've taken the rest of Lavi's clothes off too.

"Where'd you put my clothes?" Kanda asked, though it was more of a demand for his clothes, rather than asking where they were placed. He'd rather go out shirtless than in Lavi's clothes. Lavi gave a mischievous grin; like he'd make life so easy for Kanda.

"I don't know. They might be lost somewhere in here, or I might've thrown them down the laundry chute."

"You wouldn't have..." Kanda gave an evil glare, knowing that was exactly the type of thing Lavi would do.

"Why not? They were dirty and soaking wet, that was the only _logical_ thing to do." Lavi teased Kanda with his tone, damn he was glad to have logic as a backing for pickin' on Yuu.

"You asshole..." Kanda grit his teeth, and growled. He wasn't really sure what to do at this point. The simplest thing to do would be to just walk to his room, change his clothes, report to Komui, and kill Lavi, but that would require that he walked out of Lavi's room, wearing Lavi's clothes. He did not need anyone assuming he had that kind of relationship with _anyone_, thank you, much less another man, and at his age! He wasn't even going to consider walking all the way to his room in his boxers, 'cause that's just plain humiliating. Under normal circumstances, he'd force Lavi to go to his room and get him a change of clothes, but seeing as he'd rather die before he gave Lavi permission to go into his room, that was out of the question. Oh, what to do, what to do...

"You know, it's not that hard to just walk to your room, ya don't have to act like it's gonna kill you..." Lavi of course, knew that it would indeed kill Kanda's pride, but that's why he was enjoying this so much. That and-hell, Kanda looked good in his clothes. He looked pretty good out of them too, but he figured he really would've been killed if he'd let Kanda wake up in nothing but his boxers and some chest wrappings. And what were those for anyways? Was Kanda prone to getting chest injuries? Maybe he was a girl, strapping himself down to look flat? Lavi decided that was a stupid idea, because Kanda had definitely _felt_ like a boy under the wrappings. Not like Lavi had checked, but he always did have his doubts...

"I do not want to walk out of here in..._your_ clothes." Kanda spat "your" out like poison, and to him the very thought was.

"Awe, what's wrong with my clothes, they look hot on you. You really need to relax." Kanda found it hard to relax when Lavi was moving closer to him. He stopped by the shorter's side, and slung an arm around his shoulder.

_I won't kill him... I won't kill him... if for no other reason than to keep myself alive I will not kill him..._

"I could help you relax if ya want me to." Lavi was sending out every friendly and innocent beam known to man with his happy smile, but the hand that had gone from Kanda's shoulder to traveling down his back suggested something entirely different. Kanda suddenly didn't care about running out in Lavi's clothes, he'd rather let people insinuate things than have them be truth. He was not about to let Lavi drag him into whatever the hell he wanted to do.

Kanda bolted for the door.

_He's so innocent, how adorable._

000

Kanda might've broken the sound barrier with how fast he ran to his room, and his ears were still ringing from the sound of rushing air when he reached his sanctuary. As soon as he closed the door he started banging his head on the nearest wall.

_Dammit! I can't believe I just ran! I should've kicked his ass first! _

Kanda was sure that by running like that, he made himself look like a complete wimp. It was against his personal code to run away, but how could he not? Alone, with Lavi, in the other's room, alone, _with Lavi_!?! He had just woken up, he wasn't mentally prepared to be molested first thing in the morning!

Kanda stopped the self-abuse and took a calming breath, he had to go to Komui's office and get a new mission, he had more important things to do than worry about a red haired rabbit with a thing for teasing him. He went to get a new pair of his clothes from his dresser, but suddenly realized the open windows bothered him.

_Great, that damn asshole is getting me paranoid! _

Kanda shut the curtains with a huff, and then continued with his morning routine, calming down as he did so.

000

Kanda stepped into Komui's office with a cool head, a few minutes of meditation had calmed him down.

"Sorry for the wait, what's the mission?" Kanda didn't skirt around the issue or give Komui any room to start talking about some random subject.

"Geez, he sure is eager to leave." Kanda didn't flinch or jump at Lavi's voice, however much he wanted to, but he did allow himself a deep scowl. Kanda decided that he'd ignore Lavi to the best of his abilities. Since he couldn't see the other anyways, it was an easy enough thing to do.

"Mission. Now."

"Right, right. Sorry about Lavi, he just kinda popped in. Anyways, you'll be going on an extended mission to Ethiopia. It's an extermination and retrieval mission, so you'll be going with Lenalee. There's a large population of akuma there, so it'll take you both a while. My guess is it will take a little under two months. I gave Lenalee the plans on how to make the mission quick so you can both be home on time for your bir-" Kanda ran across the room and clamped a hand over Komui's mouth, looking frantic to keep that information secret.

"You are never to let anyone else hear you say a thing about _that day_, you got me?" Kanda had the look of a frenzied shark, and Komui wasn't about to do anything to anger him further. Until he left the room. And the tower. And the country. Then they'd be set to go! The Order could spend all the time they needed gathering information about their beloved irrate samurai and compile it all to create the greatest birthday ever! That all amounts to Kanda torture, really.

Lavi's eyebrow raised at this sudden change in behavior, Kanda had been rather stoic a moment before, and suddenly he... wasn't.

_hm...he'll be home before his "bir" what? Before his...bird dies? Wait, he doesn't have a bird, and if he did, how would Komui know when this hypothetical bird would die? Wait, I'm getting off track..._

Woe, the plight of the overly-imaginative.

_Maybe Komui was cold and shivered? Nah... bir, bir bir... before his...AHA._

"Your Birthday's comin' up? Why didn't you tell me something so important!? OH, WHY MUST YOU KEEP THINGS FROM THE ONE WHO LOVES YOU TRU-" Lavi was close enough for Kanda to kick.

"Shut up assclown." Kanda completely disregarded Lavi's question, but Lavi saw Komui's "I'll tell you when he's gone" look, and didn't bother pointing that out.

"Anyways, you are to leave as soon as you can, so get packed! You'll meet Lenalee out in front of the Castle. Lay a hand on her and you die." While saying that last sentence, Komui got unbelievably evil, and his expression was enough to even scare Kanda to a degree, not that he'd ever show it.

"Che, whatever." was his awe-inspiring answer, as he turned out of the room and left. Exactly 33.2 seconds of silence resounded until everyone was sure Kanda was out of killing distance, and then...

"We can't have a cake, 'cause Yuu-chan doesn't like sweet things. I suggest soba, and tempura, en masse." Lavi said, ready to plan out the menu.

"Maybe some traditional Japanese decorations would be better than streamers? He can't go home, but we could at least try to make him feel at home here." Lenalee suggested, wondering about how homesick the reclusive boy might be.

"Usually, we'd turn a birthday into a huge event but Kanda really doesn't like people...it could be in the best interest of everyone to actually do as he said and keep it secret. Maybe just us and his teammates? You think we could get Tiedoll back home in time?" Komui pondered, he didn't really want anyone who worked under him to be killed by Kanda in a blind rage. And it would probably upset everyone horribly if Kanda went around destroying the Tower after they worked so hard for his birthday.

"Hm... it'd be fun to annoy him by throwing him into a big party, but we should think about the possible death toll in that situation..." Lavi spoke his thoughts, wondering how many people Kanda could kill or mortally wound with Mugen before everyone was out of the cafeteria. They had two months to practice evacuations though, maybe they could pull it off?

"I think it would be best if we kept it small, Kanda's birthday is about him after all..." Lenalee, being the kindest of the three occupants of the room, was actually considering making Kanda happy on his birthday. She wasn't about to let her crazy brother and his insane and perverse cohort traumatize Kanda on his birthday. If it came to that ,she would assist in helping Kanda stay away from the tower for the day.

There was a little bit of grumbling, but Lavi and Komui complied with her request for a peaceful June 6th.

000

Kanda waited at the front entrance for Lenalee. he waited for quite a while, seeing as it didn't take him a while to pack, whereas it took Lenalee and much longer stretch of time to ensure that her brother and Lavi (mostly Lavi) wouldn't do anything stupid while she was gone.

"Let's go, Kanda." She said happily when he came into view. He nodded, and they both left the building. Silence reigned until Kanda decided to break it, he couldn't take the uncertainty of his fate.

"So, you guys all started planning as soon as I left, didn't you?" Lenalee sweat dropped at his rightness.

"How'd you know?"

"I saw Komui's "I'll tell you later" look."

"Ge ge's never been good at keeping those sort of things hidden..."

"I need a favor, Lenalee. Please, please help me drag this mission out until after my birthday." Kanda was willing to go to impossible lengths to stay away from the Tower during his birthday. He had bad experiences with birthdays, and he got the distinct feeling that the Order would blow his natal day way out of proportion.

"Eheh, don't worry about it, Ge ge promised that he'd keep things small. It'd be just your team, Ge ge and me, and Lavi. Oh, and Jeryy, because he always makes people's favorites on their birthdays."

Kanda liked the idea of special birthday soba, but he wasn't sure it was worth it.

"No, I must not enter the Tower on that day..."

"You have some bad memories associated with your birthday, don't you?"

"For as long as I can remember, my birthday has been a day of torment."

Lenalee's eyes widened, worried that maybe Kanda had incurred some form of abuse on his past birthdays.

"Did something bad happen?"

_was it some cruel experience? Was he abused or thrown out or forced into stuff...poor thing!_

"Every year my brother Hayate would pick on me, and he always said it was a big brother's job to make his little brother tougher every year. From there he'd make me undergo mass amounts of useless training and dare-devil stunts that had absolutely no purpose whatsoever. Then I'd get home bloody, bruised and tired as hell and there'd always be this horrible party and they'd always make a huge deal out of it! I couldn't walk into my own house without seeing everyone who'd ever come to the dojo... People everywhere and no one would just let me go to my room...Mother locked the door from the inside, and I'd be worse than dead if I broke one of her fusuma to get in...what would be the point then anyways?" Kanda continued to mumble about his horrible past-life experiences, most of them involving all the things Hayate had made him do at some point or other. Lenalee could practically see the aura of doom swirling around him. He looked positively frightened by the prospect of another birthday. Hayate had really done a job on him... "And Lavi and Hayate are like soul twins, I cant imagine the horror of being here when my birthday comes around... Please Lenalee, you've got to help me. Be my Naoko, the only one who's willing to save me."

"Naoko?"

"My sister."

"Oh. I see. Kanda, I think you should give the Order a chance, ok? I promise, things wont get out of hand, and I'll put Lavi on a leash myself it it'll make you come home for the occasion. We're all family at the Order, let us treat you like part of that, ok?" Kanda thought over her words for a moment, he knew that what she said about the Order being a family was more true for her than anyone else. He knew that when she said that she was sincere, and he couldn't help but cave a little at her request.

"As long as we keep the animals out... I'll consider it."

"What animals?"

"Lavi."

"That's one animal."

000

Lavi sneezed two times, before sniffling and wiping his nose with a tissue. "Heh, I bet Yuu-chan's talkin' about me already."

"Ever think that you might just have a cold? Or allergies?" Komui asked, sipping his coffee afterwards.

"Nope, it's Yuu-chan, he just cant wait for his birthday to come."

"Somehow, I get the feeling that he'd sell his soul to the devil if it meant he'd never have to step foot in this castle on his birthday."

0 Elsewhere 0

Naoko and Hayate sat, sipping tea in the calm of the afternoon on the deck of their house.

"Man, it's only a few months 'till Yuu-chan's birthday, huh Nao-chan?" Hayate asked, though he knew the answer.

"Yes, usually by this time, you're making up plans to torture him."

"Hey, I do not torture, I'm makin' him stronger!"

Hayate sneezed twice, followed by Naoko sneezing once.

"See? Even Yuu is talkin' about it! I bet he's remembering all the wonderful parties we've given him, and all the birthdays shared with me!"

"So then you think he's finally getting to see a shrink about it?"

"Ouch Nao-chan, ouch."

**This is a bit shorter than Saya's last chapter (by about 100 words, give or take a few.). Still, it's a bit longer than the norm. Saya's wondering if that means she's going to start pushing herself into longer chapters again. She doesn't know if she could take that... inspiration doesn't grow on trees ya know. But maybe she could do that for just this story ,and slowly work her way to doing it for the others. Maybe. It's not definite so it's a maybe.**

**By the way, one sneeze means someone's saying good things about you, and two means it's bad. More than that means you're catching a cold.**


	19. Accused

**Sorry for the lateness, but as many of you know, Saya decided to take on a mini-project yesterday that refused to be ignored. Those User guides were fun, Saya will be sure to make more. She's tired...why is Saya always tired? Geez...it's called sleeping, she should try it...**

**Saya owns the play but not the actors, they belong to Hoshino-ka.**

**Rated T... Because a kiss doesn't call for an M rating.** **Rating will get higher with the chapters.**

19. Accused

Kanda sat in a train compartment across from Lenalee, as annoyed as ever. Oh, was he worried, that stupid rabbit had made him paranoid beyond all reason! Kanda would believe his gut feeling over Lavi any day, but he remembered the last time he confronted the other about entering his room (how could he not, it was just the other day?) , and he decided that he wouldn't accuse Lavi again unless he had some solid evidence that Lavi had been in there, or went in there again. Still, he'd always be suspicious.

His mood darkening, Kanda muttered a little "che" as he glowered out the window. Stupid England, did it always have to rain? He was a depressing enough person as it was, he didn't need a lack of vitamin D worsening that.

"Um...Kanda... are you all right?" Lenalee asked, giving him a concerned look. He was a little surprised that she bothered to talk to him, when he obviously did not want to talk.

"Hn." A noncommital answer, accompanied by a little shrug. Kanda simply could not get himself to snap at her and tell her to leave him the hell alone. That'd be like yelling at Naoko; He only did that once, and he remembered being depressed for three days after because she said she hated him for being so mean. Kanda Yuu doesn't have a sister complex, really.

Lenalee took his answer as a yes, though it could've gone either way. He had to be worrying about something, because under neither all the "don't talk to me, stay away from me" waves he was sending out, there was a little "I'm worried" signal. "So...what are you worried about?"

Kanda huffed, like he'd really tell anyone. "I'm not worried."

"Are you sure? Because you've been glowering out the window and muttering... I know a lot of people take you for angry, but that makes you seem unstable... and worried." trust Lenalee to be frank about such matters. Kanda gave a scowl, angry, yes, he was a very angry little child, but he was not unstable.

"I'm sure." He'd have to make sure he stopped muttering curses under his breath.

"You're worried about...Lavi maybe?" The accuracy of her remark made him sit up straight and face her. His scowl deepened, though it was starting to turn into a pout.

"Why the hell would I worry about that ass?"

"Because you're friends."

"Why the hell would you think we're friends?! We are NOT friends! I have a stalker, not a friend! I don't want either!"

"Methinks thou doth protesteth too much."

Kanda gave Lenalee a glare, was she suggesting that he was in denial?

"And just what are you insinuating?"

"That you like Lavi." Kanda sputtered, how could anyone even suggest that he would _like_ Lavi in any way, shape, or form?

"I most definitely do not!"

"Protesting too much. Denial isn't pretty Kanda."

"Men weren't meant to be pretty anyway. And I do not like Lavi."

"Then..." Lenalee couldn't help but wonder why he put up with all the crap Lavi did if he didn't like the other boy at least somewhat. "Why are you so... tolerant?"

"You call threatening him on a day-to-day basis tolerant?"

"Well yeah, because if you wanted to you'd actually go through with them. You never actually hurt Lavi." Kanda could point out multiple bruises and scars on Lavi's body that would say otherwise. "I'm just saying that you must like him on _some_ level."

Kanda turned his head to look back out the window, this was so stupid, he didn't like Lavi, and he shouldn't have to say it! It should be obvious!

"Do you want me to like him or something?" He asked, though somehow it felt awkward to ask.

"Well that would be nice...I mean, it's always a constant worry of mine that one day you might seriously kill him. It'd be nice if you got along with him."

Kanda huffed, blowing the bangs over his eyes askew as he crossed his arms in front of him. Why did this conversation, as innocent as it was, seem so damn incriminating?

"You...don't have to worry about that...I wouldn't really kill him...BUT IT'S NOT BECAUSE I LIKE HIM OR SOME STUPID CRAP LIKE THAT! It's just that there are so few exorcists as it is that it would mean more annoyances for me if we lost another one!" Lenalee giggled at his outburst, she could see why Lavi had so much fun ruffling Kanda's feathers. Of course, she didn't intend to make a habit out of it or anything, but every once in a while...

Kanda huffed some more, and went back to glowering out the window, only without the mumbling. He was never gonna have any peace, was he?

000

"Komui, what's Yuu-chan's favorite color?" Lavi asked, thinking of what color the decorations for the party should be. Needless to say, these two were going to go crazy with planning. They'd keep the guest list small for the sake of saving lives, but everything else... oh geez.

"How would I know? You're the one who's always around him/"

"But he never talks about stuff like that; He hardly ever talks, really. He yells a lot though."

"Ever consider just asking?" Komui asked, motioning to the phone. "He can't kill you over a Golem."

Lavi took a minute to let the fact that he had that option sink in. Then he broke out into a grin. "You're a genius! Why didn't I think of that?"

"Because I'm the only one with the right to abuse my phone privileges."

Lavi ignored the slightly nonsensical statement and started flipping through communication files in Komui's office until he found the one that had all the information he needed to contact Kanda.

000

Kanda was feeling a bit tired, but he refused to let himself sleep. He'd gotten into the habit of not resting on missions while traveling. Of course, he wasn't alone on a mission for a change, so he could safely go to sleep, and Lenalee could wake him up if need be, but he didn't feel all the comfortable sleeping around other people, it just wasn't something he did. Of course, there were always exceptions, like how he tended to fall asleep in the library, despite how many people may be there. And since Lavi and Bookman were the only two people who ever bothered with the Library, and Bookman didn't stalk Kanda, that would mean that the only exception to Kanda's habit of not sleeping in front of other's was Lavi. He'd never admit that though, of course.

"Kanda, you look tired, do you want to sleep? You can if you're tired, I'll wake you up if I need to." Lenalee offered. Kanda shook his head; No sleeping would be permitted.

"Are you sure? It's not good to keep yourself up when you're tired. And you were out pretty late last night, wherever you were..."

"Was it that late? And I was sleeping anyway, it wasn't like I was actually awake until whatever hour."

Lenalee was starting to get concerned, how little sleep was he getting normally if he was still tired after sleeping like a log the night before? "Kanda...you really should get more sleep."

"I'm fine, I don't need it."

"Yes you do, if you don't get enough sleep, you'll become a liability." Kanda looked surprised, as though the thought never occurred to him that he could be a liability. Lenalee had chosen that word specifically because she knew it would get to him. She might not be all that close to him, but she knew enough about him to know that he couldn't stand weakness, so he probably tolerated it even less in himself than he did in others. "So sleep now, and I'll wake you up when I have to." She stated her final command with the voice of a scolding mother who was sentencing her child to a night in their room without supper.

Kanda grumbled, not taking well to being scolded. She told him to sleep, but the fact of the matter was that there was no way in hell he'd be able to, seeing as he was fully aware of the fact that another person was in the compartment with him.

Luckily for him though, Lenalee seemed to pick up on this fact pretty fast.

"I ...think I'm going to go explore the train a little, I'll tell you what I find when I come back." She said, hoping not to make it obvious that her absence was supposed to help him sleep. Naturally though, Kanda caught on, though for her sake acted like he didn't realize it.

"Whatever..." Was his cold answer, even as he started trying to make himself more comfortable. Lenalee was already heading out.

000

"Kanda...Kanda... geez if this were Ge ge this would be so much easier... Lavi's stealing your hair tie."

Kanda shot up from his laying position, which his sleeping self had put him in. His head almost hit Lenalee's, but she pulled away from him just in time to avoid it. "Where the hell- ..." Kanda felt just a tad bit stupid for reacting in such a way, even though he knew that Lavi was not with him at the moment. Well, he'd been tired, he'd just woken up, he totally had an excuse.

"What is it? An attack? Or have we arrived?" Kanda asked, deciding to skip whatever embarrassment might want to come his way and get serious.

"Your golem's ringing. You're the only one who can use it, so you've gotta answer." She said, pointing to the little black golem that was bobbing around and shaking somewhat, making a rather annoying noise that Kanda was surprised to find hadn't woken him up. Maybe he did need more sleep?

Kanda plucked the golem out of the air, and went in search of a telephone. There was a compartment in their first class car that had one, there always was, he just had to find it. It wasn't that hard though, because there were only so many compartments in their car that were open to all the passengers. Finding the room, and hooking his golem in, he answered the call he was getting.

"YUUUU-CHAN! Ya miss me?" Kanda's eye started to twitch, and he resisted the urge to crush the faultless piece of flying machinery. Surely, there was an important reason behind Lavi's call.

"_What_?" Kanda asked, through clenched teeth. Lavi could hear the annoyance in his voice on the other side of the golem, and started wondering if maybe it was possible for Kanda to kill him via golem.

"What... is your favorite color?"

Kanda shook with anger; Lavi had _not_ just woken him up to ask him that. Granted, Lavi didn't know he was sleeping, but the fact that Lavi would call him while he was on a mission just to ask that... oh lord, would Lavi pay.

"I'm hanging up." Kanda gave his idea of a fair warning before going to yank the telephone wire from the golem. Lavi's mouth was quicker though.

"Answer first you ass! Geez you're cranky, just wake up?"

"Yes."

"Oh...I see..." Lavi's sheepish laugh could be heard through the golem, he knew he'd get it as soon as Kanda came home, because no one can hold a grudge over little things the way Kanda can.

"Well, since you're up, answer the question!"

"I don't have a preference. Now I really am going to hang up. Bye."

"WAAAIT. You're so horrible! I call you with such an important question and you can't even give me a straight answer?"

Kanda sighed, oh how he loathed the red head. On a separate note, why hadn't he hung up yet? "Why do you need to know?"

"We're picking out party decorations!"

Kanda didn't bother with a warning before he pulled the golem away from the wire. Actually, all he did was grab the Golem and leave, the wire popping out as he did.

000

Lavi heard the Golem disconnecting and gave an offended scoff.

"He hung up on me! So mean." Lavi huffed, thinking he'd call the other back the rest of the day just to piss the other off.

"Well, you did call him for a stupid reason." Komui said, not paying much attention to the other's plight as he diligently avoided working by looking at different colored streamers.

"Like you're one to talk...I bet Lenalee's hung up on you a few times for calling her without reason..." The fact that Komui started blubbering into the streamers was his only hint that he'd been right.

"I JUST WORRY ABOUT MY MEI MEI, IS THAT SO WRONG!?"

"Er...not at all...men are wolves, after all..." That seemed to be the right answer, as it stopped Komui's blubbering. Of course, now he was ranting about all the horrible "wolves" who were after his dear, sweet, Lenalee.

000

"...This is fucking ridiculous... Stupid Lavi, stupid calls..." Kanda muttered as he walked back to his and Lenalee's compartment, he'd never get back to sleep, he was wide awake now. "I want a caller I.D. feature on these damned things..." Of course, Kanda didn't know that Lavi was using Komui's phone, which would've made him show up as the head officer even if they did have caller I.D., but Kanda didn't particularly care for details like that anyway.

"That was quick." Lenalee commented as Kanda stormed back into their compartment. "Who was it?"

"Baka usagi..."

"Um...Lavi?"

"I just said that, didn't I?"

Lenalee did her best to stifle her giggles, but it wasn't working out very well for her.

"What?" Kanda ground out, he wasn't in the mood to deal with more idiots. He was never in the mood to deal with idiots, but that's beside the point.

"Hehe...you've given him a pet name..."

Kanda would've gapped at this statement, but he'd acquired some self-control over the time he'd spent with Lavi, and now such undignified shows of surprise were beyond him. He still had a long way to go though, before he could honestly say that nothing could get a reaction out of him.

"That is _not_ a pet name... why would I give... _him_ one of _those_?" Kanda once again felt like he was being accused of something; he wondered if Lenalee would always make him feel that way when it came to the subject of Lavi.

"Because you like him, of course."

Kanda head-palmed, not this again...

"Why do you seem so determined to believe that I like him?" He asked, in a resigned, annoyed voice. He'd never win against her girl-logic which made her believe he liked Lavi, so he might as well gain some sort of understanding of it.

"Because, you really do put up with way too much to not like him."

"What has he done to me that would make it inconceivable of me to not maim him unless I liked him?" Kanda asked, as eager as he ever was to know why he apparently liked Lavi.

"Um... well... You remember that time..." Lenalee was having difficulty saying what she meant to say. She had promised to pretend she'd never seen what she'd seen that day when she'd seen what she wasn't supposed to see. She tried to forget, but the image was burned into her retinas, there was no getting rid of it, and she was afraid of the fact that she didn't really want to get rid of it. It was a bad thing to have seen, right?

"When you and Lavi...in the hall..." Kanda could feel the doom crashing down around him. Oh, he knew what she was talking about now, and he realized now why he felt like he was being accused now too, because he was being accused, not of liking Lavi, but of _liking_ Lavi...

He'd heard tale of this disease, this horrible disease that had infected so many of the female species, and in more advanced cases the male species too. He'd heard of how dastardly it was, and how horrible the aftereffects of it on the women it infected were. He'd heard of this horrible disease where girls suddenly find themselves attracted to homosexual relations, and it was a disease so dreadful that those infected with it could only be called by that one name: yaoi fan girls.

"You...Don't tell me you..." Kanda couldn't say it, he didn't want to believe that the only person he could stand in the entire Order actually wanted him with Lavi in _that_ way. Luckily for him though, the train started screeching to a stop at that moment, and it completely ended their conversation, pushing them both back into mission mode.

"I think this is our stop, Kanda." Lenalee said, taking her suitcase down from the rack that was above her seat.

"Did I really sleep that long?"

"Yeah, I was really surprised. Have you not been sleeping on missions?"

"Why would I sleep on a mission? I usually go on extermination missions, remember?"

Lenalee nodded in understanding, she knew she wouldn't be sleeping either if she was headed to an area with the sole purpose of killing off everything that lived there. After all, that would be like asking to get attacked while off guard.

"I think we're meeting up with a finder at this station, and the next train will take us the rest of the way. Wanna sleep more then?"

"...Maybe..." Kanda put on his best dignified look and tried not to yell at her for treating him like a kid who needed a nap.

**Hehe...Saya kinda poked fun at yaoi fans in this chapter... but hey, if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at, ne? Sorry for the lateless...but Saya's weekend was hectic and she just couldn't think of anything for this story. As you can see, this is a chapter made of filler. It's a filler, and yet it still managed to be nearly 3000 words long. Saya's doin' pretty good.. Maybe she will try to push her words per chapter up again... and try keeping it above 2800...hm...**

**And surely you all noticed the Monty Python reference...right?**


	20. Dream

**Wow, Sorry for worrying you guys with all the warnings about her ffnet not working. It's fine now! (of course). Sorry for the worrying!**

**Saya owns the play but not the actors, they belong to Hoshino-ka.**

**Rated T... Because a kiss doesn't call for an M rating.** **Rating will get higher with the chapters.**

**20.** Dream Interpretation

During their second train ride, Kanda and Lenalee were both able to sleep, the decided it would be best for the mission to let the finder do his job and wake them up if they needed to be conscious. Kanda nearly threw his golem out the window though, it wouldn't stop ringing. He knew it had to be Lavi, because if it was Komui, he'd call Lenalee's. He was very tempted to crush the innocent golem under his luggage, then jump on the pieces, then throw it out the window piece by piece. Kanda Yuu doesn't give a rat's ass about pollution.

He wasn't alone in his annoyance though, Lenalee got angry after a while too. Many Lavi's persistence was too reminiscent of Komui for his own good, because after maybe the 42nd call, she'd taken the Golem to the telephone room, and had a lovely chat with Lavi (Kanda came with, just to laugh mentally as Lavi got the verbal crap beaten out of him). Lavi didn't call again after that, and Kanda and Lenalee spent the rest of the train ride in peace.

"It's so hot here..." Lenalee said with a sigh. They'd reached their destination, Ethiopia, and to them it was hot. Actually, it was at a comfortable 70 degrees, but because of their uniforms, it felt a lot hotter. Yeah, they'll save your life on a mission, if they don't give you heat stroke first. Still, despite how he was practically baking, Kanda looked unfazed. He'd trained in worse conditions, he could handle being cooked alive in his uniform.

"This is actually a pretty comfortable temperature to me, but I guess that's just because I've been here a while." Their finder, Paul, said. He was a young man, Kanda decided that he couldn't be much older than 20. Kanda didn't really understand why there were so many finders, many of which had families, and friends. So many of them were young too, and had so much going for them, he wondered why they were so willing to get themselves killed.

"Anyway, this is our hotel." He said, pointing to the establishment next to them. "Because not everyone here's an Akuma, you're gonna have to cut and choose your battles, so innocent people don't get hurt. We still have to find the innocence, too."

Kanda just shrugged, he wasn't really used to having to stay in a hotel or anything, usually he just went in, destroyed the Akuma, and got out. That didn't take long, and he sure as hell never stayed at a place that was more likely than not run by akuma. Hotels were a luxury he didn't usually need to bother with.

"Kanda, come on." Lenalee said, Kanda hadn't realized he'd zoned out a bit while thinking. He shook his head a little and followed Lenalee into the hotel.

000

Lavi was going to try it again. He was going to try going into Kanda's room, at least one more time. There was no longer a curious voice in his head, begging him to go in, there was no feeling of excitement about doing something that he _knew_ would make Kanda angry. He wasn't curious about why Kanda didn't want people in there anymore, it was plain as day, he didn't need to do more than step into that room to know why.

Now, it was just a test for himself. That damn flower had really freaked him out last time, but this time it would be different. This time, he's see it as just a flower, he'd completely ignore it's disturbing aura, and maybe he'd do a little snooping, if for no other reason that to give him some reason to be there after he won against the flower.

_Still...that lotus might be the only thing in there that's actually worth investigating._

Lavi couldn't get it out of his head, how Kanda had actually seen him in there. True, Lavi had told him it was just a dream, but even if it was just a dream, it came at an extremely inconvenient time for Lavi. Maybe that lotus was more than just an unusual decoration? Maybe there was something mystical about it? Maybe Kanda had a connection with it? Lavi wouldn't be surprised, if the dead could be brought back and turned into monsters, then humans could be bound to flowers. Lavi had no idea how close his theories were to the truth.

It wasn't so hard for him to convince himself to sneak in this time, because Kanda had been gone for only a week, and he still had about a month and a half before the other was due back. He'd taken his time to observe the hall Kanda's room was located in, too. He found out who went through there usually, and why, when they went through there and how many people did at those times. He found that most of the time, the hall was pretty empty, because it was the hall where all the exorcists' rooms were, and it was out of the way of most things. The only time anyone was really around was when the rooms' occupants left their quarters for a meal, and occasionally, one of the science section workers would come along if they needed one of the exorcist's for something.

So, during dinner, while everyone was eating, Lavi check the hall once before going into Kanda's room. As soon as he saw the Lotus, he felt cold. It looked exactly as it had before, it didn't even seem to be collecting dust, the way the untouched surface of his bureau had. It was no surprise that a fine, barely there layer of dust was forming; from what Lavi knew, Kanda spent much more time on missions than he did at home, his room was practically in disuse.

Lavi stared down the hourglass, as though he were staring down an akuma. He wouldn't let that thing get to him. After a moment though, he realized he was glaring at a plant, a simple, inanimate object that couldn't hurt him, and couldn't glare back at him. He stopped glaring t it pointlessly. Still, he didn't like the thing.

Lavi looked around the room, doing his best to ignore the menacing aura that the Lotus had. Kanda's room was pretty much barren, there were no pictures, no books, no dirty clothes strewn across the floor like there often was in Lavi's room, nothing. That made it a lot harder to keep his mind off the flower that was glowing beside him.

"So...what makes you so special that he keeps you around?" Lavi asked, not really caring that he was talking to a plant. The thing infuriated him, and if it had belonged to him, he never would've kept the thing around. Of course, if he actually knew what it was, then his feelings about it would be quite different.

"Why do you give out that weird aura?" Naturally, Lavi received no answer, he wasn't dumb enough to expect one. Still, he wanted to know, he had questions and they needed to be asked. They needed answers too, but Lavi knew that he wouldn't get them any time soon, if he ever got them at all.

Lavi scowled at the pointlessness of the situation, he'd be troubled by this forever if he didn't get any answers, but there seemed to be nothing in the room, nothing at all, that could help him discern the meaning of that lotus. Lavi put a hand to his chin, and started to let his mind drift, thinking of possible ways to get more information on the Lotus.

_I know there are a few legends about them... I should look them all up, and maybe I'll be able to make some kinda connection..._

Lavi decided that would have to do for now, and headed for the door. He wasn't feeling very Lavi-ish at the moment, but he knew that as long as he was around that flower, he wouldn't be able to work his way back into the mind-frame of his 49th alias. He looked back on the robust flower one more time.

"I'm going to find out about you."

000

Kanda woke with a start, he was now sure that these dreams weren't just dreams, they had to be something more. He'd been in Ethiopia for a little under a month now, and that was the forth time he'd had a dream like that. They were all the same, but they were all different. Lavi was always in his room, and he was talking to his lotus. This dream came about once a week, it was like Lavi was reporting back to his room to reveal everything he'd found out about lotuses and the legends and myths that went with them. Kanda didn't want to know those things, he didn't care. He didn't need to know the creation myths, the legends of deities being born from them, or any of that. He didn't want to hear about how they grew from muddy swamps or the bottoms of ponds, he just wished Lavi would stay out of his room, or at least keep that information to himself!

"Dammit...why? Why does he have to be so curious about it?" What Kanda hated most wasn't the facts that Lavi read off of some mental list of thing's he'd learned, it was what he said afterwards, and the way he acted. He was always saying he'd find out about Kanda's lotus, he'd find out why it was important, what it did, why it made him want to break it. When Kanda heard Lavi say that, he was sure he'd never felt more angry, sad, and scared in his life. Lavi wanted to break the thing that held his life, if Lavi did, he would die, there would be nothing else. It made him indignant because Lavi was the only reason he was connected to that flower in the first place, he should be grateful that Kanda took of that curse and that lotus at all! And yet, he couldn't help but be afraid, because Lavi was there, and he wasn't, Lavi could, at any time, just let himself do as he pleased, and destroy Kanda's life.

More than anything though, it hurt. So what if a stupid flower sends out weird vibes? So what if it was strange, so what if _he_ was strange? Why couldn't Lavi just leave them both alone? Why did he have to act like that lotus had no right to exist? Wasn't that the same as saying Kanda had no right to exist?

The way Lavi acted in his dreams didn't help Kanda's nerves at all. He was always a bit angry, but for the most part unfeeling. He didn't care about what he was doing, or how it affected Kanda, he just wanted information, he had some driving need for information on that lotus and how it was connected to Kanda. Lavi was never like the idiotic brat that Kanda had gotten used to. Honestly, Kanda had expected that if Lavi ever went into his room, he'd rift through it, have his fun snooping, and then leave when he realized there was nothing of interest in there and leave when the excitement of sneaking in wore off. This Lavi was different, he was intense and focused and cold, and Kanda just couldn't deal with the extreme difference.

Kanda sighed, he knew he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep now, it was the same every time. He got up, and stretched a little, before deciding that he'd walk out in the halls for a little while. Maybe he'd be somewhat nice, and offer to take over watch duty so Paul could sleep? That seemed like a good idea, if he was on the lookout for Akuma and other possible threats, then his mind couldn't be on his dreams. Besides, a tired finder wouldn't be of much use at all.

"Oi, you can go sleep if you want, I'll take over watch duty for the night." Kanda said, as he came up to Paul, who was sitting between Kanda and Lenalee's rooms. He looked a little surprised to see Kanda out of bed, but didn't say anything about it.

"Sorry, I can't sleep. I've got orders from the supervisor to make sure you never enter miss Lenalee's room."

Kanda scoffed, Komui was stupid if he thought Kanda would even try to go into Lenalee's room. Why the hell would he want to anyways? He practically thought of her as his sister, not as a girl. Well, that was how he saw most girls though, they weren't really girls to him. It was just the way he was raised, his father was always kind to his mother and little sister, and he payed respectful attention to other women he happened to meet, Kanda had picked up his father's chivalry. And of course, the women of his house always kept things running somewhat normally, and stopped him from wanting to go insane, so whenever he met a calm, even-tempered girl, the first thing he usually related them to was his sister, or mother, depending on their age. Basically, this all adds up to Kanda not wanting to have any type of romantic relationship with Lenalee.

"So, why aren't you asleep right now? Bad dream?" Paul asked, he was a little too inquisitive for Kanda's liking, but Kanda would rather deal with it than just sit alone in silence. Paul, he had found, was a generally happy person, a little overly-friendly, and spoke just often enough. All in all, an average character, who Kanda could tolerate.

"Hn." Kanda's favorite answer to any question he didn't want to answer, was also his answer in this case too. Like he was gonna tell some random finder, who he'd most likely never see again, that he was having visions of what Lavi was doing in his room.

"I'll take that as a yes. You know, dreams are basically just mirrors of ourselves. When you have a nightmare, it's telling you that there's something you're afraid of, but you're not willing to admit it to yourself. When you have a really good dream, it's usually about something you're hoping for. Dreams tell you things you don't even know about yourself. I've always thought dreams were interesting because of that. Just imagine all the things you don't know about yourself!"

Kanda tried his best to look disinterested, but he was actually listening to what Paul was saying. It would make sense really, if he was the one causing these dreams. Maybe it wasn't Lavi at al? Maybe he was just so afraid of anyone finding out about him, that he kept having those dreams? Maybe it was always Lavi because he was the one Kanda worried about going into his room most? Kanda couldn't say he'd known all those stories about lotuses, so he didn't really know where that came from, but maybe they weren't true, maybe they were just things his mind fabricated itself, to make the dreams more real? Kanda would love to think that these dreams were just his imagination at work, but sadly enough, he was never the most imaginative of people, he doubted that even the Kanda he didn't know that was lurking in his subconscious could be so annoyingly creative.

"Yup, and when you learn new things about yourself that way, you've gotta act on them! If something you dream about makes you happy, you need to go for it, because real life happiness is better than an illusionary happiness. And if something frightens you, you've got to confront it!" Paul declared with an energy that wasn't necessary, and a little out of place at such a late hour.

"What if you already have tried to confront it, but things just didn't work out?" Kanda hadn't meant to ask, but he wanted to know. Someone had to have the answers, and if it happened to be this finder, then Kanda would get the answers he needed out of him. Kanda didn't feel like making a fool of himself by confronting Lavi again and having him deny it. It was his word against Lavi's at this point, he had no physical evidence that Lavi was doing anything.

"Well, then you have to keep trying. It takes a while for people to get over their fears, no matter how much they try, and no matter how quickly they wish they could. So you've just gotta keep trying, and you'll gain a little more confidence in yourself every time. You've gotta work at it, "Rome wasn't built in a day" and all those clichés. "

Kanda scoffed a little at how Paul decided to end his little speech.

"What a lame ending..."

"Hey!"

**Saya is fascinated by dream interpretation. Seriously, it's always interesting to think of what your dreams might mean. However, she doesn't like guides on dream interpretation, you know the ones that say "if there's a shoe in your dream it means this" or some crap like that. She thinks that only the dreamer can interpret the dream. So yeah. Chappie over.**


	21. Alone

**Er...hi! Someone asked Saya to have this out by the 21****st****, but she was really busy so though it is indeed the 21****st****, Saya hopes this came out on time! Anyway, the 21****st**** chapter is coming out on the 21****st****...hm... pwnsome.**

**Saya owns the play but not the actors, they belong to Hoshino-ka.**

**Rated T... Because a kiss doesn't call for an M rating.** **Rating will get higher with the chapters.**

21. Alone

Kanda was worried, oh, was he worried. It wasn't about Lavi, for once. No, he'd decided that since those dreams wouldn't go away, he'd just have to tell Lavi straight out that he knew the other was going into his room, that it was pointless to lie about it, and that he was going to force Komui to have a few locks installed on his door. He wasn't worried about the mission either, it was going rather well. There were about two weeks left before they were scheduled to return home, the Akuma population had nearly been wiped out, and they'd found the innocence the day before.

So, why was Kanda worried? Simple: there was no way for him to drag this mission out long enough to escape his birthday. It wasn't his fault, he couldn't help but want to do his mission well! He could've slacked off, he could've done a number of things to slow their progress, but Kanda simply wasn't that kind of person, in his mind, nothing, not even his own well-being ranked above his duty. Besides, Lenalee was determined to get him home for his birthday.

"Lenalee, we need to get the innocence back to headquarters as soon as we can." Kanda said, after he and Lenalee finished off some Akuma that had attacked them on their way back to their hotel. Naturally, the two never left the innocence alone, and because they had it, the akuma were after them.

Lenalee nodded in agreement. "It makes a great lure for the Akuma, but we can't risk losing it to them either. We can't give it to a finder to bring back, so one of us will have to go."

"You go back, I'll stay here and finish this job up."

Lenalee gave him a skeptical glance, she was sure he was trying to weasel his way out of going back to headquarters for his birthday.

"Why don't you go back?"

"Because now that we've found the innocence, this has become purely an extermination mission. Those are the kind I usually do, I have more experience with these missions than you do. Besides, since I know you'll find some way to get me back to headquarters in time for that god-forsaken day... you might as well go back there, and make sure those two idiots Lavi and Komui don't do anything ridiculous."

"Are you sure you aren't trying to get out of it?"

"I'm sure. Really, I just don't want to deal with Komui, do you have any idea what he would do to me if I left you here alone? Well, after his imagination ran wild with all sorts of horrible scenarios, he'd kill me. He'd then send some kind of robot army down here to "Save" you."

Lenalee took a minute to think that over. That was definitely a possibility... Besides, as long as Kanda wasn't going to run away, and it didn't seem like he was lying, it would all be fine. She'd be sure to tell Paul to bring him back to the Order too, just in case.

"Fine, I'll go back, with the innocence, but you've got to promise to come back."

"Where else would I go?"

"Hm, good point... promise anyway."

Kanda sighed, this was so pointless. "I promise to return to the Tower." And he would go back, because there was good soba there, but he would take his time. As soon as his mission was done, he would choose the most pathetically slow mode of transportation he could find, and return to the Order that way. He could probably take a trip that only lasts a few days on a train, and make it last a week and a half, at least. So technically he wasn't lying at all, which is why Lenalee believed him, because Kanda's not the greatest liar, and Lenalee would've picked up on it if he was.

The two walked on in a calm silence, until a piercing scream ripped through the air. Not even a second later, Lenalee had her Dark Boots activated, and Kanda had unsheathed Mugen and was running his fingers over the tip, activating it, also. They both ran toward where the sound had originated from.

There were kids, three or four of them alive, and one was now dust. They huddled in the corner of a wide alley where they'd been playing. Three akuma surrounded them. The exorcists didn't hesitate to destroy two of them, but the third one seemed to have leveled up, they knew it would take more than one move to destroy it, so it was better for them to get rid of what they could while they still had the element of surprise on their side. The explosions frightened the kids more, but that was to be expected.

The third Akuma turned to face them, it seemed to be a level two, that looked like an over-sized mosquito. It's nose was it's weapon, it was a long gun barrel with a bayonet at the end. The thing took a moment to size them up, and started laughing maniacally when it realized what they were.

"Exorcists! The one's who've killed all the others!" The akuma turned to point its weapon menacingly at one of the children's faces. "Give me the innocence, or I'll kill these kids!" Of course, it intended to kill them anyway, but it would wait until it had the innocence to do that.

The akuma was horribly transparent to both Lenalee and Kanda. They weren't dumb enough to act on an akuma's orders.

"Lenalee, you've got the innocence, run." Kanda commanded. She nodded and left, using her Dark Boots to reach impossible speeds. This particular akuma was more concerned with getting the innocence than killing the children, it probably figured it would be able to kill them later. It was so eager to get the innocence that it didn't even realize that Kanda was obviously bluffing, he had the innocence, not Lenalee. Really, what idiot in their right mind would basically tell their enemy who they should chase after? Lenalee and he were always on the same page when it came to fighting, why, he couldn't say, they'd probably just been working together long enough or something. She'd run, and the akuma would chase her, though it could never catch her, of course. Kanda would make sure the kids got indoors, and then go to back her up.

"You," he started, giving the kids a look that clearly said if they valued their lives they should listen, "get inside the nearest building, now. And stay there." The kids shot out of the alley like bullets, and Kanda made sure that they all went indoors before heading off in the direction Lenalee had run. Then again, with her speed, she could've easily run circles around the village by now.

Luckily for him, it wasn't all that hard to find her, she was flying, fighting the akuma up in the air. It probably hadn't expected that, it had probably thought that it could use its aerial positioning to its advantage. Oh, how wrong it had been.

She didn't seem to need his help at all, she was kicking ass up there, literally. Still, he'd stick around, just in case. The akuma seemed ticked, it couldn't hit her at all, she was simply moving too fast. They seemed to flutter around each other, and as gentle as the encounter might look to someone who had no idea what was going on, Kanda knew that every time Lenalee hit her mark, it caused massive damage.

The thing, which seemed fed up with fighting her and losing, unexpectedly dropped down from the air. It was heading for Kanda, a grounded target that didn't have any advantage over it. Or so it thought, but Kanda was quick to pull out his blade, and call forth his netherworld insects. They couldn't kill the akuma, but they could stop it from hurting him. Lenalee swooped down on the akuma, nearly crushing its backside. It took off down the street, obviously at its limit, a few more hits would finish it off. Lenalee and Kanda were quick to pursue it.

Kanda cursed profusely in his mind when he saw that the thing was swooping down onto one of the kids from earlier, what was that little girl doing outside? He'd told them to stay indoors! There was no time to ask though, he had to defend her before something tragic happened. He ran in front of the girl, blocking the akuma's bayonet with Mugen's blade. It seemed it would all be for not though, he could see the akuma's gun powering up, its glow becoming brighter. Any minute now it would shoot, and at this close range, it would probably have enough power to blast right through him and the girl.

And that's exactly what happened. Kanda wanted to scream at the pain that shot through him as he felt the bullet twist through his side; Because of the way he was parrying the bayonet, the akuma couldn't get a straight shot at his stomach or chest, so the bullet hit his side, just barely missing anything vital. Not that it would matter, he could feel the poison spreading through him, it was like his skin was slowly burning, burning away until it was nothing but ashes.

But even as such an intense pain ripped through him, he could only think of the girl that had been behind him. Had she been hurt? Or had that bullet missed her? He was using what he was sure was the last of his strength to hold the demon off, just in case that girl was still alive.

A streak of black came down from the air, and Lenalee plunged right through the Akuma. It exploded around the two, and Kanda was forced backward by the force of it. He felt himself skid across the ground, there was no one behind him. Once the dust from the explosion settled, he could see the ashes that were once the girl, oddly undisturbed by the explosion.

"My God...Kanda!" Lenalee ran to his side, she looked positively horrified. He couldn't see it himself, but he could guess that he was slowly being covered by black stars.

"The girl...is she all right?" Lenalee shook her head, looking close to tears over losing a comrade, and letting an innocent child get killed. Kanda thought she was too nice to be out on the battlefields like this, it didn't seem right to have someone so kind out fighting and killing things. One day Kanda's opinions would change, but at the moment, Kanda wasn't aware that he had a future at all.

"I'm sorry! If I had been able to kill it before it got away this wouldn't have happened!" Her sadness just made Kanda feel guilty about getting hit, because he hadn't been able to stop that thing from shooting him, she felt bad, and was _crying._ Kanda Yuu may be a bastard, but he does not make girls cry.

Lenalee's face made a sudden change from anguished to surprised, and she blinked a few times, to make sure that she was really seeing what she thought she was seeing, and that it wasn't just her tears blurring her vision.

"K-Kanda... the stars...they're going away... they're going away!" at this realization, Lenalee looked positively overjoyed. Kanda had no idea what she was talking about. He'd never actually been shot on a mission before, which might've been a little strange, considering the kinds of missions he usually went on.

Now that she'd said something about it though, Kanda knew she was telling the truth. He was still in pain, oh, boy was he still in pain, but it was a different pain. He couldn't feel himself burning from the inside out anymore, now he felt a familiar pain, the pain of hastened healing.

_hm... So my curse can stop the akuma blood virus from killing me? That would've been nice to know earlier._

Kanda tried to sit up, but stopped when he felt pain run through him. The wound he'd gotten had been deep, and it would take at least a day to heal.

"There's no point...in staying out here. Let's head back." Lenalee nodded, staying out in the open like this, with a wounded exorcist, was like begging for an akuma to come and pick them off. She sat him up, and slipped his arm around her shoulder. Kanda grunted in pain, but was otherwise silent. It was rather humiliating to have a girl help him walk, but he decided it was about time he stopped thinking about the two genders so childishly. Girls were strong, and they could fight damn well, there was nothing wrong with getting help from one.

000

"Kanda, are you sure you don't want to go back? You were just shot yesterday!" Lenalee was about to board a train which would take her back home, but she was still unsure of wether she should leave the other here alone.

"I'm fine, aren't I? Besides, there isn't much more to do here, I'm just cleaning up what little mess is left. Just get the innocence to headquarters. The train is going to leave soon, so get to your compartment already."

"Maybe I should stay though... you might need backup!"

"Of course you shouldn't, getting the innocence back to headquarters is the top priority!"

Lenalee huffed, but she couldn't argue, bringing the innocence back _was_ the most important thing at the moment.

"Fine, but you'd better make it back safely!" She said, giving him a stern look. Kanda nodded, bored with being the object of her worry. He didn't need anyone to worry about him dammit!

Lenalee sighed one last time before boarding the train, Kanda was such a hopeless case, he held far too little concern for his own well-being.

Kanda waited around the station until the train left, before heading back to the hotel that he still had to live in for another few weeks. He'd like to believe that things would be easier now that he was working alone again, but really, when it came to fighting, it was always nice to know someone had your back. Finders could capture akuma with talismans, but that was about all they could do, and it wasn't much help. The akuma population wasn't so large that it would be a problem to work by himself though, so he was fine with it.

_still... dealing with the locals is even more annoying...tch._

Something in the air changed, and Kanda's hand came to Mugen's hilt. Akuma were slowly shedding their skins; He wondered when they'd infiltrated the crowd.

_On second thought, the akuma really are the most annoying..._

000

Lenalee, and Lavi were both waiting impatiently, it was the day before Kanda's birthday, and he wasn't back yet.

"Oh, I knew I shouldn't have left him alone! I bet he's half-way across the world by now!" Lenalee huffed, pacing around her brother's office. She'd come back to find that Komui and Lavi had gone from planning a simple get-together to nearly turning Kanda's birthday into a theatrical production. She'd put a stop to it immediately, of course, because she didn't want Kanda to hate the Order's birthday parties forever. Komui and Lavi were sad though, they couldn't have any more fun with planning!

"Don't worry about it Lenalee, it's not his birthday yet, and if he comes late, we'll just celebrate late! He loses either way." Lavi said happily, munching on some chips as he lazily sat on the couch that occupied the center of Komui's office. Bookman would have his head for slacking off, but it was just part of his "Character" to think it was funny to provoke the old man.

"Gee, that's so kind of you." Lenalee rolled her eyes, poor Kanda...with friends like these, it was no wonder he didn't want any friends to begin with.

Suddenly, Komui burst through the office doors, not in his I'm-so-happy-I've-created-a-new-monster kind of way, but in a frantic way.

"Kanda's back." He breathed out, Lenalee and Lavi both gave him curious looks. He made that seem like a bad thing.

"Is something wrong, Ge ge?" Lenalee asked, worry creeping into her voice. Oh, she knew she shouldn't have left Kanda alone!

Komui nodded. "You should see for yourself, they're bringing him to the hospital wing." Lavi and Lenalee both bolted for the door, Lenalee ever worried, and Lavi doing his best to act the part when really, he was more or less curious. He remembered Kanda's insane healing ability, how broken bones had mended themselves withing days and gashes healed within hours. How could Kanda possibly be in such bad condition now?

Once they reached the hospital wing of the tower, they had to fight to get into the room. The medics had only just transferred him from the stretcher to the hospital bed, and they were all fussing over him, cleaning wounds and getting bandages ready for him.

Oh lord, he was a bloody mess. Lavi decided that he must've gotten attacked just recently, because some of his wounds simply seemed too new to be more than half a day old. Kanda's pale skin was littered with cuts and deep wounds, and what looked like bullet wounds. Lavi could even see fading stars on the boy!

_What the...? Did he get hit? Why are they fading?_

"Hey...Lenalee, do you see those stars? There's only a few of them but..."

"That idiot! He got hit again!" Lavi gave her a surprised look, _again_? "Oh...he seems to have some sort of immunity to the virus...just before I left he got shot... but he was fine by the time we got back to the hotel."

Lavi raised his visible eyebrow, so Kanda healed quickly and he was immune to the akuma blood virus? Interesting, how very, very interesting.

**Geez.. Lavi's more curious than concerned... what a guy. Oh well, he's not supposed to have a heart anyway, so if he seems heartless for that, so be it. Nyeh...Saya's new word count goal is 2500, but she might as well bump it up a few hundred, because she's always passing it. **

**HAPPY CHRISTMASHANUKKAHQUANZAHWINTERSOLSTICE NEW YEARS! Saya intends to post a Christmas one-shot soon.**


	22. Birthdays

**Saya's so sorry,. But this time it really wasn't her! Her computer was acting up and wouldn't let her log on to ffnet AT ALL. She couldn't even put a message about the problem on her profile because of that T.T Just so you know, from now on, if Saya's ever away for a while and she doesn't warn you about it first, check her livejournal, she'll be posting there whenever she cant post here. She posts this story there anyway.**

**Saya owns the play but not the actors, they belong to Hoshino-ka.**

**Rated T... Because a kiss doesn't call for an M rating.** **Rating will get higher with the chapters.**

**22. **Birthdays

Kanda could slowly feel himself returning to consciousness. One by one, his senses came to him. He could feel his head throbbing with a headache that would undoubtably stay with him the whole day. His body felt like it was hosting a battle between fire and ice. It was a sensation that he had come to recognize as the feeling of regenerating after being shot by an akuma. Their blood poisoned him and burnt his flesh away, and his curse froze over his scorching skin and healed it with ice. He knew that at times, ice could be strong, but that more often than not, it was fragile and broke easily. He didn't like to think that for any amount of time, his body could be compared to something so easily broken.

He didn't want to open his eyes, he didn't want to get up. His body had spent the night regenerating and he was exhausted, despite having slept well. Still, he could tell by how the pain that fried and froze his nerves was dulling that he was almost done healing. He wouldn't allow himself to be lazy when he was nearly fully healed and very capable of getting up. Oh, how he wanted to be lazy though. He wondered if he could allow himself to lay around for just one day, without wanting to kick himself for it. He didn't need to think long to realize he wouldn't let himself get away with that.

Slowly, he rose from his bed; well, it wasn't his bed, he could tell, the room he was in had no feeling of foreboding or death, so it couldn't be his bed because he wasn't in his room. His wounds, that were on the final step of sealing themselves over, were pulled at uncomfortably as he sat up, and he let out a small hiss of pain. He could feel bandages around his body, on every place he'd been injured the day before. Most of said injuries were gone, and those soiled bandages were rubbing against perfect skin that would never be permanently marred. Knowing that someone had bandaged him while he was asleep ticked him off. He didn't care who it was, what gave them the right to treat him when he couldn't see what the hell they were doing to him?

His hair moved around him, brushing against what little skin of his was left bare. Someone had dared to take his now elbow length hair down without his permission, just another thing to add to his list of things that were annoying him today. His eyes were still closed, Kanda still didn't want to open them. The room was silent except for his own breathing. His breathing, and someone else's. He didn't want to see who that other person was, he didn't want to know. He was starting to have second thoughts about this whole waking up thing.

He warily cracked his eyelids open, the light around him stung his eyes. It was bright, and it didn't seem to be artificial. He guessed that a window was open, in which case, it would have to be around mid-day, for the sun to be so intense. He felt hot, and if it weren't for the fact that he knew another person was in the room with him, he'd be thankful that he wasn't still trapped in his hot uniform. His vision finally adjusted to the brightness of the room, and he saw who it was that was sitting before him. Kanda immediately shut his eyes again.

"Mornin' sleeping beauty."

Kanda fell back onto the bed, groaning a little in pain as his deepest wound made contact with the exceptionally hard mattress beneath him. He pulled the thin hospital sheet over his head, begging God to make the other boy leave the room. God didn't seem to care about his request, for he heard Lavi huff before ripping the sheets away from his fevered flesh. Just like people get fevers when they break bones, he got fevers whenever he had to heal large wounds. He shuttered as the cool air of the room made contact with his skin, but didn't do anything else.

"Hm, maybe you really are like sleeping beauty. In that case, would that make me the prince who kisses you to make you wake up?" Kanda shot up as soon as he heard that, and had he been closer to the edge of the bed, he would've fallen off. He bit his tongue to stop himself from giving yet another hiss of pain, and grumbled as he entered a state full awareness. Lavi grinned at him from his bedside, as he rolled the sheets he'd stolen up messily and tossed them into a chair.

"You bastard." He muttered darkly, glaring at Lavi.

"You were so cute in your sleep, Yuu-chan. So innocent I could hardly believe it was you I was lookin' at! Oh, to be able to see your sleeping face every morning!" Kanda blanched, the last thing he wanted to wake up to on this cursed day was Lavi's stupidity.

_Oh God...the day..._

Kanda went rigid, what day was it? How long had he slept? A week? Maybe a month? He was hoping for a month, but he knew that if he was still recovering, that it couldn't have been more than a few hours. Still, he futilely hoped...

"What... day is it?" He asked hesitantly, cringing slightly at the answer he knew he would get. The impossibly wide grin that came to Lavi's face told him all he needed to know. Kanda plopped back onto the bed for the second time that morning, resisting the urge to hide his face under his pillow.

"Happy Birthday Yuu-chan. You're officially... 15, I think? 'Guess I should stop callin' ya "chan" then, huh?" Kanda didn't dare to hope that Lavi would actually stop using that girly honorific. As much as he would love that, he knew the chances of that actually happening were abysmal . Besides, he knew that even if the other stopped using the honorific, he'd still use his first name. And if Lavi dared to use his first name without an honorific, he'd maim the kid. Still, would he rather have that childish honorific eternally stuck to the end of his name, or have Lavi call him in an even more intimate way than that?

"Hm...but just "Yuu" would get me killed for real, wouldn't it? Hm...Yuu...kun, then? Nah...doesn't have that special ring to it... and "san" is out of the question..."

"And why is that?" Kanda asked from underneath his pillow; in the end he decided to hide from the day in any way possible.

"'Cause it makes you seem old. To me anyway. Guess you're stuck bein' Yuu-chan!"

He really wanted to hit the other one at the moment, what was the point of any of that if he wasn't going to change the way he addressed Kanda?! He sighed into his pillow, he was feeling even more exhausted than he had when he'd woken up, and he wished he hadn't bothered to in the first place. Curse his strict habits.

Kanda's mind drifted from the one-sided conversation at hand, and started thinking of ways to escape. Obviously, Lavi was here to make sure he didn't do anything that would get him away from his birthday. He could lure Lavi closer to him, and then bash his head into the metal framing of the bed hard enough to make him pass out. Or he could strangle the other, who had finally gotten a new scarf. He could use that same scarf to tie the other up and shove them under the bed, so that he wouldn't be found quickly. He could bribe Lavi into letting him leave. On second thought, he wouldn't even attempt that last one.

"Yuu-chan, I already know what your thinking. You wanna escape, don't you?" Lavi asked, though it was more of a statement. Kanda didn't bother trying to hide that fact and nodded. The motion was hidden by the pillow on his face though. Even so, Lavi had picked up on his answer, and went to pull the pillow off his face, looking down at him with a mock-scolding expression.

"Well, I won't allow for that. Me and Komui have been planning forever and we finally got everyone together here, so your staying put, and that's that."

Kanda grimaced at Lavi's words. He really hoped they weren't throwing a big party, he hated big parties. He hated them so much that he couldn't even appreciate the hard work or good intentions that were put into planning one, though he doubted Lavi had any good intentions.

"How many people are included in...'everyone'?" He asked, the idea of a large crowd was enough to make him hurt mentally.

"Hm...well, Me, Komui, and Lenalee, o'course. We got Tiedoll to return to the tower too, along with the rest of your group. Oh, and Jerry too, of course!"

Kanda blinked, that wasn't a horrible amount of people at all. He could actually stand that many people in one room! Lenalee must've saved him at the last minute, because there was no way in hell that Komui and Lavi of all people had managed to keep everything so contained.

"We wanted it to be a big party, but Lenalee _insisted_ that we kept the list of people who knew about your birthday down." Lavi said, confirming his theory. Lavi grinned down at Kanda, his devious little mind thinking of a million ways to take advantage of their current situation. Kanda wasn't oblivious to this shift in mood, and was more than ready to defend his still-healing body from the menace known as Lavi.

"I should give you my present a little earlier than the others, shouldn't I?" Lavi said, innocent rays radiating from his smile, but his aura said something quite different. Lavi leaned down, and Kanda got ready to punch the other one across the room. Surprisingly though, Lavi didn't try anything too funny with him, his lips stopped near Kanda's ear.

"Did you know...it's been exactly six months since I met you?"

Kanda was wary of what Lavi would do next, and curious as to where this was going. He shook his head, he hadn't bothered to remember the exact date of the day he'd come to the Black Order's tower.

"Do you happen to remember what I said to you, just a few weeks after you had come here?" Lavi's voice seemed to be changing, losing that joking tone, and turning into the tone he used in Kanda's dreams. Kanda had decided that the Lavi he saw when he was sleeping was "Bookman Lavi", because he wanted to know everything, and seemed to only care about information. It gave him the chills to think he was so close to that Lavi, whom he had futilely hoped was not really Lavi. Being around this Lavi was dangerous, he felt this Lavi wanted information more than anything else, he wanted unravel all of Kanda's mysteries and find out everything Kanda hid. Kanda wanted to get away from this person whom he did and did not know. He racked his mind for an answer, he had this feeling that he knew, he remembered on some level what Lavi was thinking of.

Lavi sighed when Kanda didn't give an answer. He faintly wondered why the other seemed to be panicking slightly, Kanda had beaten the crap out of him for doing worse things than leaning over him, surely he couldn't be feeling threatened by this?

"I said that you had all of six months to completely captivate me." Kanda immediately remembered Lavi telling him that, he'd forgotten over the course of time, when exactly he wasn't sure. Now he wanted to know the results of Lavi's little "challenge". He hoped he'd lost, he didn't want the other to constantly be around him, doing stupid things, and snooping around whenever he wasn't there.

"Wanna know how it turned out?" Lavi asked, his teasing tones coming back into his voice. Yes, Kanda did want to know, but suddenly the sounds of footsteps reached his ears, whoever was coming was right outside the door. He was sure that if anyone saw him with Lavi like this, their minds would go crazy with ideas. Without thinking it through much, he brought his hand up to Lavi's chest, and pushed him back hard enough to make him collide with the opposite wall. That strange dream Lavi was suddenly gone, replaced by a pouting bunny boy that was all too familiar. Kanda was secretly glad to have this Lavi back.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" The word assaulted his ears, as everyone who'd been on the other side of the door yelled it at him.

"Huh? What happened to Lavi..?" Lenalee asked, as she stepped through, giving the abused Lavi a concerned look.

"Nothing."

"Yuu-chan made an unwarranted assault on my persons. That hurt Yuu-chan!"

"Yeah, well your face hurts."

"Actually, the back of my head does more..."

No one really had any idea what to do next, until Jeryy came in with an overly-excited smile and mass amounts of tempura and soba. Kanda wasn't sure he could eat that much of his favorite dishes, but he sure as hell was gonna try... he was starving. Healing made him hungry as well as tired.

"Special birthday soba and tempura for the birthday boy!" Kanda tried not to let onto the fact that he was seriously tempted to grab the food and just shove everyone else out of the room. Instead, he just tried to act nonchalant as he thanked the head chef politely for the food.

"Kanda-kun is already 15! They all grow up so fast it's hard to believe that he's so old already!" Tiedoll said, with tears of fatherly affection streaming down his face. He then went on a rant about growing up and becoming an adult, just about everyone tuned the sentimental general out. Everyone said the usual happy birthdays, and Kanda did his best to remain civil as he dealt with everyone. After all, it was only a few people, and all of them where people whom he had trained or worked beside, he could at least do that for them. It wasn't that hard really, as soon his superiors were off in their own world talking about kids and siblings, Lavi and Daisya found they got along rather well (Kanda was rather afraid of that combination), and Lenalee, Marie, and he talked calmly over whatever came to mind.

"This wasn't so horrible, now was it, Kanda?" Lenalee asked, her entire being said "I told you so." Kanda didn't want to admit that she really was right, and this really wasn't the torture he'd expected. Looking back on it, he realized that it was stupid to think he'd be forced to do those crazy things his brother always made him do, like jumping off the roof while tied up, using random strings Hayate found around the house as a bungee cord, or eating extremely spicy and hot curry for hours straight until his entire mouth was burning and everything he ate tasted like rubber for a month. Those were just some of the tame things Hayate had thought up.

"Well...I'm not dead...I ...suppose it wasn't...all that horrible..."

Lenalee smiled, happy to know that her hard-to-please comrade was actually somewhat happy, despite how he refused to say he was.

0 Elsewhere 0

Naoko and Hayate sat on their wrap-around porch, looking out into the sky. Naoko let her feet swing over the edge, her soft yukata was blown about her ankles by a light breeze.

"So, you think Yuu-nii's enjoying himself?" She asked her older brother. He nodded, a silly grin coming to his face.

"Probably, though I don't think anything could top the birthdays I always gave him!"

Naoko scoffed at the idea, chances were her currently absent older brother was reveling in the fact that he wasn't being tortured on his birthday.

"I think that he's thanking God for the fact that you don't know where he is right now." Hayate gave her an injured look.

"You're always so blunt Nao-chan!"

"Someone's gotta be... we should go inside now, it's getting late." She said, getting up from her spot at the edge of the porch. Hayate got up too, stretching and stifling a yawn. The siblings looked up at the sky that they knew they were sharing with their brother. "Well, happy birthday Yuu-chan."

"Yeah...Happy birthday Yuu-nii."

0 Black Order 0

Thankfully, the festivities ended around 1, just after lunch. Kanda wasn't sure if he could handle being in a small room with a mad scientist, an overly-fatherly general, two mischievous little exorcists, and the overly-affectionate chief much longer. It was mid-afternoon now, and finally, he felt he was completely healed. The one thing he didn't like about getting shot (besides actually getting shot in the first place), was that the poison slowed his healing down. Still, it was done now, and he was currently unwrapping the bandages on his lower legs, they were the last ones left now.

There was a soft click as the door was opened, Kanda didn't even bother guessing who it was.

"Damn, and I was hopin' to catch you without a shirt on." Lavi joked, walking over and plopping down on the bed Kanda had just made. He wasn't intending to spend another night in that room, he didn't need to, he was healed. Kanda rolled his eyes at Lavi's comment.

"What do you want?" Kanda asked, with an unnecessary edge to his voice.

"To finish our earlier conversation, of course." Kanda froze for a second, before starting to unwrap his leg again. He'd completely forgotten about their little conversation during the party, he seemed to be doing a pretty good job of forgetting these things today.

"Get on with it then." Kanda snapped, he had a sinking suspicion about the answer, and he'd rather just be sure he's right and sink into some depressed oblivion rather than have to wait to do that.

Lavi didn't seem to understand his rush, and waited patiently for Kanda to finish so that he could have the samurai's full attention.

Kanda sent a glare his way, and Lavi took that as his cue to start.

"Honestly, I didn't think you'd last an entire 6 months. It amazes me even now. I didn't think there would be so much to know about you, and it's even more difficult to get information outta ya in the first place! Sometimes I think that you must enjoy the attention or something." Kanda scoffed at the very idea.

"Just frickin' spit it out already!" Kanda said loudly. Lavi waved his impatience off. He moved in front of Yuu, putting his elbows on Kanda's knees and resting his chin on his hand.

"I just thought I should have your complete attention when I told you that you have mine. Happy birthday Yuu-chan, you've got me completely captivated." Lavi leaned up quickly and stole a kiss, before backing out of the room. Kanda was itching to strangle the retreating rabbit.

_I think I'll go rabbit hunting sometime soon..._

**Yes, Yuu-chan, go and hunt your lil' bunny boy down and have your way with him. He'll never see it coming. Once again, sorry for the delay...seriously if this computer doesn't stopping being such an ass Saya is going to stab it to death and replace it...about time she does anyway...**


	23. How not to act in a library

**Wow...Saya had been so busy thinking up stuff for her next Black World chapter that this one was horribly neglected. Hopefully it didn't come out bad because of that...**

**Saya owns the play but not the actors, they belong to Hoshino-ka.**

**Rated T... Because a kiss doesn't call for an M rating.** **Rating will get higher with the chapters.**

23. How not to act in a library 

Kanda sat on the edge of his bed, glaring at that damned hour glass with it's damned flower that seemed to mock him just by existing. It still looked exactly the same as it had on the day he'd put it on his bureau, it was still glowing with his life force, it was still measuring his life in increments that he wasn't sure he could understand. Dust had collected in a fine, barely noticeable layer on his dresser and night stand, but he could still see a small clear area that had been cleaned off when Lavi had leaned against the edge of his night stand the last time he'd been there.

For once he was the one who wanted to smash the thing to bits, not because it gave off some sinister feeling that made him uncomfortable, he'd gotten used to that long ago. He'd do it just to spite Lavi. He'd finally know what the lotus did sure, but he'd never find out anything else about it. However Kanda wasn't nearly stupid enough to try this, no matter how angry he was. All he had to do was think of Lavi's reaction and it was enough to piss him off so much that he wanted to live just for the sake of beating the tar out of the other boy. The Lavi that everyone knew would be upset to lose his friend in such a way, to be the cause of the rage that would bring him to do something like that. However, Kanda had no idea if that was the real "Lavi" anymore, was "Lavi" real at all? He had a sinking suspicion that the Bookman Lavi of his dreams was closer to the truth. Bookman Lavi would be annoyed by the lack of information he'd gotten about the lotus, and that would be that.

It was bad enough to know that he'd never be able to escape from Lavi again as long as they were in the same vicinity, but that wasn't even the worst part of this whole deal. The worst thing was that Lavi wasn't even interested in him, he just wanted information on that damned flower! Lavi was just using that little game he'd started as an excuse to justify staying around Kanda, and he was using Kanda to find out more about his curse. If Lavi was going to stay around him, it could at the very least be because of something about _him_ and not his only personal possession. Kanda would not stand for being used in any way, he was going to let Lavi know just what he thought of his curiosity.

000

Lavi walked through the library happily, he loved the Order's library. There were so many things he hadn't read yet, so much he hadn't learned! And it was generally empty, except for a few stray workers here and there who were looking around out of curiosity. And of course, the closer to the back he got, the less chance there was of anyone being there. Naturally, the most interesting books were back there too. They were there because they were things that the Order wouldn't really want their members reading, but they needed for scientific and historical research. That, or they were just plain corrupt, which made Lavi wonder why they had them around in the first place. In this huge space, all alone, surrounded by the means to temporarily satisfy his curiosity, he could really be himself, whatever that was.

So he made his way through the maze of books, the scent of aging paper and ancient tomes made its way to his nose, making him sigh on his way to the haven that was the back of the library. It'd be nice and quiet and he'd be alone– A book was snapped shut loudly as he turned past the last row of bookshelves into what was usually his private space. He blinked owlishly at Kanda, who was sitting on the old couch with the book he'd just closed in hand, glaring up at him with the burning intensity of hell.

The Bookman side of him that feared for his life and cared about self-preservation was telling him that now was not the time to push his luck, that he should do his best to placate the obviously murderous samurai, or better yet just turn around and run for his ever-lovin' life. However, he knew that "Lavi" would just walk right up to Kanda with a shit-eating grin no matter how pissed the other boy was. So, Lavi decided on his third choice, because he didn't have much of a choice if he wanted to stay within his Lavi persona.

He slowly approached the couch Kanda was seated on, with as large a smile as he could force. Kanda simply waited for him to come closer with an impatient scowl on his face.

"Uh... Hey Yuu-chan, what'cha doin' here? It's been a while since I've found ya in the back of the library." To this Kanda just huffed, and sharply turned his face away from Lavi. Lavi's jaw dropped a little, so Kanda broke into his private space (for once, rather than it being the other way around) and then just sits there and purposely ignores him? What an ass!

"Yuu-chan what's that about?" He asked, huffing as he took a step closer to the couch. At first he'd figured it'd be best to stay away from the couch and the person on it, but he figured that one step wouldn't put him within Mugen-ing distance. Kanda heard him take a step forward and looked over at him once, before quickly snapping his face back to where it was before. Lavi huffed, what was Kanda doing?

"So why are you here, Yuu-chan?" Lavi figured if he called Kanda "Yuu-chan" enough in a short about of time, he'd eventually get the kid to snap. Kanda didn't bother looking back at him this time, instead he just flipped Lavi off. Lavi was tempted to punch Kanda. He'd come back here to relax and he had not been expecting Kanda to be there. He didn't like surprises, he preferred it when things followed a pattern. Another few steps and he was close enough to do just that.

But Kanda was full of surprises today, for as soon as he felt that Lavi was within arms' reach, he turned to Lavi, with a smirk on his face. He then proceeded to grab Lavi's collar, and push the taller boy into the couch, switching their positions so that now it was he who was standing over Lavi.

"Wow... you sure are feelin' aggressive today aren't ya?" Lavi said with a half-joking tone. He cursed the fact that his voice had quivered a little mid-sentence.

"Not in the way you want me to be." Kanda seemed positively homicidal at the moment, and Lavi wouldn't be at all surprised if Kanda skewered him right then and there.

"You know, at first I decided that you were right, that it was just me." Kanda started in an angry hiss. "But you know what, as soon as I was gone I started having that dream again, and it came more than once. Every week for the entire time I was away I saw you. You wanna explain that one to me Lavi? You wanna lie and tell me I'm just dreaming? You've been constantly invading my space when I'm not here, you've been going into my room week after week and reporting information to a damn _flower_ like it was your personal mission to find out everything you could!"

Lavi was damning himself for not listening to his earlier instinct and just running. Kanda was beyond angry, and from what he was saying, he really had seen Lavi in his room, and heard what he'd said. And as much as Lavi wanted to know how he knew this, he was too busy fearing for his life to ask. He was a fool, he should've realized the first time this happened that it could happen again, that he shouldn't push his luck. Kanda looked ready to kill him, and Lavi got the feeling that if Kanda really wanted to, he could and would. It was a little frightening to think that someone his age would be capable of something like that.

When he thought about it though, he did deserve some sort of punishment. It's bad enough that he snuck into the older boy's room, but if Kanda really had heard everything Lavi had said to it every time he'd gone there... well, he could only imagine the panic some of the things he'd said could induce in a person. Not to mention that he had been completely not himself at those times... Wait, did that mean that Kanda knew that "Lavi" was just a front? Or was he just suspecting that?

Kanda was just getting more and more angry as the seconds passed. Lavi was looking up at him, staying completely silent. He seemed to be off in his own little world thinking of something or other, whatever it was he was thinking about was just making him more afraid, it seemed. But despite the fact that Kanda could see Lavi getting more and more freaked, he still had the audacity to look him in the eye! It was something so small but it absolutely pissed him off.

"Get that damn look off your face!" Kanda shouted, before punching Lavi with as much force as he could muster, which was quite a bit. The pain to his cheek and the fact that his head had just snapped to the left brought Lavi out of his revelry. Kanda had _punched_ him? It seemed a little un-Kanda-ish to do something like that. He just didn't seem like a hand-to-hand fighter, though if his punch was any indication, he was probably very good at hand-to-hand combat. Still, Kanda seemed more like a sword person, Lavi was surprised that he hadn't been stabbed yet. Actually, even though Kanda had Mugen attached to his belt as always, he hadn't once touched it, he hadn't even threatened Lavi with it.

Kanda pulled his fist back for another punch, but this time Lavi had enough sense to catch it before it made contact with his face. However, the momentum and strength behind it pushed his hand back until the back of his hand was touching the tip of his nose. If he hadn't blocked that, Kanda would've broken his nose for sure. He held onto Kanda's hand so that he couldn't punch him with it again. Kanda let out an angry growl and used his other fist to strike Lavi startlingly close to his left temple. Lavi was left dazed for a moment, during which he was pretty sure Kanda had freed his right fist and had landed a few more good hits. If this kept up Kanda would probably just beat the crap out of him until he was unconscious, he didn't particularly care for that idea.

Forcing himself to concentrate on Kanda's blows, Lavi caught each of his wrists the next time he tried to strike. That was the good thing about honest, one-on-one fights, everyone had the same number of limbs. Of course, in Kanda's case, he also had a deadly piece of steel attached to his hip. Of course, Lavi had a blunt object that could become as large as this library if need be. He decided that even though he deserved to be beaten to a bloody pulp, he'd have to stop Kanda because frankly he didn't feel like being the older boy's punching bag today, and he didn't want this to escalate into a full out battle involving their innocences that would end in the destruction of his beloved library.

Kanda was pretty close to Lavi and the couch, and Lavi could easily use this to his advantage. He wrapped his legs around Kanda's and pulled him down onto the couch. Kanda looked slightly surprised for a moment, before his eyes settled into a glare again as Lavi rolled them over messily so that once again he was the one standing.

"Look Yuu, I know I've wronged you greatly and all but beating the crap out of me won't change what's already been done." Lavi's words just made Kanda more angry. So the ass sneaks into his room and messes with his head and he can't even _pretend_ to be remorseful?!

"Well it sure as hell will make me feel better!" Kanda growled out, pulling up his leg and kicking Lavi in the gut. Lavi's grip on his wrist had been very strong though, and even as he was pushed back by the force of Kanda's kick, he still didn't let go until Kanda had been ripped off the couch and was falling with him. That suited Kanda just fine though, as soon he was sitting on Lavi's mid-section, leaving Lavi at a disadvantage. Their fight quickly turned into a match where anything went, as long as it hurt the other person. They were punching and kick, constantly rolling and switching positions, exchanging insults, grabbing, clawing, and Lavi was sure Kanda bit him at some point or other. The worst part was that both of them could go at it for hours without tiring, and the chances of someone coming to the very back of the library and breaking them up were close to nothing.

Something had to give, they couldn't just keep fighting forever. Well, not physically anyway, though Lavi was sure that Kanda could easily hold this grudge until the end of his life. Which could easily come sooner than expected. As a matter of fact this fight with Lavi was taking its toll on Kanda. He knew it wouldn't be enough to make a petal fall, after all the woman who'd cursed him had told him that he'd only lose a petal if he used this supposed third level of invocation, which he still hadn't reached, and he wasn't sure he wanted to. Still, causing Lavi so much pain was causing him just as much. More actually, seeing as Lavi was beating him back. His heart was constantly constricting and he was surprised he could still function properly with it seizing up like that.

Lavi finally got on top again and did his best to make sure he'd stay there.

"What the hell do you want from me Yuu?! What's gonna get you to just stop already?!"

Despite Lavi's efforts to stay on top, Kanda rolled them back over again.

"What do I want?" He repeated the question back, adding an extra punch at the end. "I want you to stay out of my room. I want you to stop looking up things and trying to find out about that flower! I want you to go away and never come near me again!"

"I CAN'T DO THAT!"

"WHY NOT?!"

"BECAUSE YOU DON'T EVEN WANT ME TO LEAVE!"

Kanda's anger immediately vaporized. Why had his rage been cut off so suddenly? Because it was impossible to be anything other than bewildered in the face of Lavi's endless stupidity.

"I think I might've broken your brain... That's gotta be the stupidest thing I've ever heard out of your mouth. And you've said some damn stupid things before."

Lavi huffed, his head killed, yes, along with choice other parts of his body, but he highly doubted that Kanda had caused any brain damage.

"You can deny it all you want Yuu, but it's true." Lavi was slowly going into teasing mode, completely forgetting all about the fact that up until a moment ago, Kanda was beating him senseless.

"I think you're full of shit. And lets say that _HYPOTHETICALLY_ you're right, why does that mean you _can't_ leave me alone?"

"Because I love ya Yuu-chan!" Kanda head-palmed, was this ass really worth getting angry at? Kanda sighed and started to get up, when Lavi's hands grabbed his hips.

"What are you-" The rest of his question got stuck in his throat, as Lavi brought his own hips off the floor and ground them against Kanda's. Said samurai's mind went blank, he was at a complete loss for what to do now, for reasons he didn't understand. Lavi gave him a teasing smirk as he watched color rise to Kanda's cheeks.

"You were going somewhere, Yuu?" Lavi's smirk turned into a grin as a flustered Kanda blinked, before realizing that he was still there and not moving. His senses came back to him quickly and his lips twisted into a scowl. He stood up so quickly that not even Lavi's iron grip could hold him down, and promptly kicked Lavi where it counts. Lavi swore loudly as Kanda ran out of the library.

After he recovered somewhat, Lavi gave a slightly smug laugh.

"And I still came out alive!"

000

Kanda had sprinted all the way up to his room, which had left him feeling completely dead. Lavi had thoroughly freaked him out. What the hell was that? That idiot had not just done what he though he'd done, right? The thought made Kanda shiver in what he was loath to admit was not an entirely unpleasant way. That fact just made him want to kill Lavi more.

And now that he thought about it, what had happened there? Kanda had gone to the library with every intention of putting Lavi into a coma, or castrating him, or doing something horribly painful to the kid. In the end though he'd run out completely embarrassed for allowing Lavi to take advantage of their situation for even a second.

That's when it hit him- Lavi had done that just to divert his attention from the problem at hand.

That bastard.

He was going to kill Lavi horribly one of these days.

**Ehe... Lavi was such an ass in this chapter, Saya thinks... it was still entertaining though...ehe...** **sorry for the lateness...things still haven't calmed down over here...**


	24. Recycling

**Ack...another chapter, another day where Saya can't think... BW is taking all of Saya's inspiration again... how unfair of it. **

**Saya owns the play but not the actors, they belong to Hoshino-ka.**

**Rated T... Because a kiss doesn't call for an M rating.** **Rating will get higher with the chapters.**

24. Recycling

When he woke up the next morning, Kanda found that he was still pissed and embarrassed. Damn that Lavi, annoying him so much! He didn't want the red head around him, he was sure of that fact, so what gave Lavi the impression that Kanda wanted him to stay near him? When Kanda thought about it, he really _should_ want Lavi to stay with him, because Lavi was his life, if Lavi died then he died, whether he wanted to or not. Kanda had thought he understood the results of taking that curse, he thought he'd been ready for them all. Kanda knew he could take the little heart pains that came whenever he hurt Lavi, and he could accept the fact that his life had been shortened, but in his haste to get away from Lavi, he'd forgotten that he needed to protect the boy, for his own sake. That meant actually _dealing_ with Lavi though, and Kanda wasn't prepared for that. If anything, he'd end up killing Lavi himself.

_One good punch...just one good punch when I see him this morning and that'll be it...for the morning._

Kanda sighed as he got out of bed, dressed, and headed for the forest where he usually trained in the mornings. It was far too early for the kitchen to be open, so he'd just train until he started getting hungry, take a shower and eat. It was his normal daily routine, nothing unusual about it. The best part of this routine was that Lavi slept in often, so he was never awake to bug Kanda. This was good, especially today, because Kanda needed to think.

The forest was wonderfully empty, the only sound that could be heard was the rustling of leaves in the wind. The sun had only just rose, its pale morning rays didn't hurt his eyes at all. Though he enjoyed training in bad weather because it kept his senses sharp, today he was glad that it was one of those unusually nice days because it allowed him to concentrate on more than just what he was doing. He needed to be able to think about his current predicament, and not just his training. It was difficult to separate his mind and body when his nerve endings were burning from cold. Cartesian dualism is a difficult thing to master, and Kanda was still working on it.

Kanda had a choice to make, and it was one that most people wouldn't even consider a real choice. To him it was though, the day before his heart clenched every time he'd hit Lavi as a cruel reminder that they were still connected, that Kanda was still responsible for more than just his own life. It had been so long since he'd felt that pain that he'd almost forgotten about it. If Kanda had had any idea of how much trouble Lavi would cause for him in the long run, he probably would've decided on a different method of saving Lavi. Of course, at the time there really had been no other way to save the red head, and he would've regretted the decision to let his partner die just as much as he regretted binding them together, more so probably. But it was too late to change the past, he was going to have to deal with the mess he'd made for himself. The question was, how would he do that?

He had two options, he could either stay by the younger boy and protect him for the sake of his own life, or he could keep pushing the other away and hope Lavi didn't get himself killed. Most people would immediately choose the first option, and Kanda was aware on some level that he'd eventually choose to do that too, but at the moment he wasn't particularly thinking about life and death. If he chose to stay by Lavi, then he'd have to deal with the red head's curiosity constantly. What if Lavi saw that he was no longer running away and got bold enough to ask him straight out about that lotus in his room? Lavi obviously knew that Kanda knew he'd been in his room, and that he knew about the flower, so it wouldn't be a surprise if he did. Kanda refused to let Lavi know about that shameful, binding curse, and he most definitely would not be the one to explain how he got it or what it did.

Of course, even if he left Lavi to do as he pleased, that didn't mean that Lavi would stop putting his nose where it didn't belong. Not only that, but what if Lavi pulled another stupid move, like the one that got Kanda into this predicament in the first place? Kanda wouldn't be surprised if Lavi decided to get all self-sacrificing again. What would happen to Kanda if Lavi really did die? Would he just drop dead too? Kanda refused to go out in such a pointless way. It looked like he didn't have as much of a choice as he had hoped.

So in the end, Kanda did a lot of thinking that really wasn't necessary. This realization pissed him off, damn Lavi, making his life difficult. Because it was definitely Lavi's fault. Kanda knew that in the end his pride wasn't worth dying over, but the fact that he would have to stay around Lavi (that teasing, snooping, perverse rabbit bastard) really ticked him off. In order to get rid of his excess anger, Kanda trained until it was way past breakfast and his stomach was begging for food.

000

Lavi sighed wearily as he slumped forward. He hadn't been able to find any reason to skip out on work that day, and there was no way to avoid Bookman when he was determined to find him and make him work. It'd been a while since he'd done his logs, memorized any of the materials Bookman had told him to, or did anything that was even remotely related to being a Bookman. Lavi had slacked off a little too much lately, he was a little out of shape, figuratively speaking. His back and shoulders ached from bending over books for hours on end, and his eye hurt from deciphering those god-awful scribbles that people used to call penmanship a few hundred years back. He wanted nothing more than to take a hot shower and relax in the Order's huge bath. A bath before lunch would be just perfect, the only regret he had about it was that he would have to get back to work as soon as he was done eating, unless he could find some reason to slack off.

Lavi hummed a happy little tune as he left his stuff in a locker and headed for the showers, with just a towel around his waist and his ever-present eyepatch that he refused to take off until he was safely hidden behind a stall door. He was glad that no one in the Order ever questioned why he wore it, that was one of the good things about the people here, they didn't dig up people's pasts or try to make others talk about painful things. But then that would make him a bad guy, wouldn't it? After all it was his job to snoop and poke and prod at people until they spilt their hearts out.

He was about to turn into a shower stall to his left when he heard someone come into the room. Curiosity got the best of him and he looked around. His jaw nearly dropped when he saw Kanda enter the shower room. His surprise quickly turned into a grin, especially when he saw how embarrassed Kanda looked. Kanda crossed his arms over his chest as soon as he got over his shock. Lavi raised an eyebrow, so finally the mysterious bandages were off, but Lavi still wouldn't get to see what was under them? Maybe Kanda really _was _a girl? Lavi really should know better than to let a thought like that come into his mind by now, after all he had basically stripped the kid down and redressed him a few months earlier. Still, it was _such_ an entertaining thought...

"Hey Yuu, come to take a shower with me?" Lavi teased. Kanda gave him a death glare that could freeze hell and then set it ablaze again. Kanda _had_ decided that he'd punch Lavi as soon as he saw him...

Kanda's fist connected with Lavi's cheek and Lavi slipped on the wet tile floor. He looked up at Yuu with a mock-hurt look, though his cheek really did sting horribly.

"Is that gonna be how you greet me from now on or somethin'? Please don't make it a habit. Between our fight yesterday and the beatin' Panda gave me today I'm black and blue all over." Lavi said, getting back up as he put a hand over his cheek. Kanda's arms were already crossed over his chest again, and he scowled as he looked away.

_More silent treatment? The last time he did this he tried to beat the crap out of me. Of course this time around distracting him from a fight would be much easier...and a lot more fun._

Something on Kanda's chest caught the apprentice's eye though, and without really thinking he leaned forward to get a better look.

Despite Kanda's attempts to hide his tattoo, it had apparently been in vain. It had taken him a little over a day to realize it, but after the curse had been put on him, the black symbol had faded out for the most part, and only the original outline had been left behind. It stood out boldly on his flesh, which is why he usually kept it hidden behind bandages. It was just another reason why he trained early in the morning, he was less likely to meet people in the baths like this. He didn't really want to risk taking a shower in the middle of the day, but he certainly smelt like he'd just spent hours training and he didn't particularly like the feeling of being dirty, or smelling the part. However now he was wishing he'd just decided to put up with it.

"What do you think you're doing?" Kanda asked, his eye twitching as Lavi inspected the small part of the tattoo that was exposed. Lavi quickly realized that he was being quite conspicuous in his staring and stood up straight again, giving Kanda his usual goofy smile and scratching the back of his head as he blurted out the first excuse that came to mind.

"Just checkin' for breasts Yuu-chan."

Kanda shook with anger as he tried to stop himself from strangling Lavi. He'd said he'd only punch Lavi _once_ this morning...

_But...it's not morning any more so I can right?_

Kanda decided that was enough of a loophole to allow him to punch Lavi again, he went for his gut this time. Lavi caught his fist just in time though, and held his other hand up as a sign of peace.

"Now, now Yuu-chan, it'd be dangerous to fight in a bath house. It's dangerous to fight anyway and we're all on the same side so could ya not use me as a punching bag for now?"

"Don't say stupid things and I'll have no reason to use you as such." Kanda said simply, before deciding he'd had enough of the red head and turned to enter the nearest shower stall.

"Heh, want me to scrub your back for you?"

Kanda shut the stall door in Lavi's face.

000

Kanda opened the bottom drawer of his night stand, and pulled out the scarf that he'd pilfered so long ago and had forgotten to give back. He really had intended to give it back at some point too, but it just sorta slipped his mind. He'd put it away in his drawer before he left for his mission, and only now did he remember it. Perhaps it was time to give it back? Lavi had probably forgotten about it, but Kanda didn't care. He'd just strangle the rabbit with it and leave.

It had been a while since the thing had been out of that drawer. Now it smelt more like the dust inside his dresser, rather than the library downstairs. It was completely useless for getting rid of nightmares now, he knew this because he'd kept it out the night before and he'd woken up in a cold sweat, trembling. He hadn't had such a bad dream in a while. There was no point in keeping the thing any more if it didn't benefit him in some way, so he'd just give it back later that day. But how would one go about doing that without feeling awkward? After all, he'd actually _kept_ it, and it was in pretty good condition, it was the same as it had been when he'd taken it. What if Lavi thought he'd actually taken care of it, rather than just leaving it in a drawer to collect dust? Kanda was well aware of just how easy it was for Lavi's imagination to get the better of him, who knows what strange ideas the kid would think up?

Kanda balled the strip of cloth up, and stood up straight. Dinner had been served an hour before, and it was going to start getting dark out soon. Kanda wasn't really sure where Lavi would be at this time, but the first place that came to mind was the library, so that's where he went. It seemed like he was going to the library a lot lately with no intension of getting books. Actually, he sorta felt the way he imagined Lavi must feel whenever he went into the forest to retrieve Kanda. The forest was somewhere only he went, where he could simply exist, alone and undisturbed for as long as he wanted. Maybe the back of the library was the place where Lavi went to do that? Maybe he was being obtrusive by going there to look for him? Then again, Lavi had gone into his room plenty of times, so in comparison Kanda going into an area that was open to everyone in the tower anyway wasn't such a big deal.

He walked through the winding hallways of the tower until he reached the back door of the library. He'd found this exit thanks to Lavi, it was the same door the younger boy had brought him through the first time he'd come to the library to sleep. He started wondering where he'd go next if Lavi wasn't here, and thought that it might be interesting if he just waited on the couch for the other like he had the day before? Maybe it'd scare Lavi a little to see him sitting there exactly as he had when he was intent on nearly murdering Lavi? That could be entertaining to see.

Sadly though, he wouldn't get that chance. For once it was he who found Lavi sleeping in the library, it seemed that Bookman had really worn him out that day. Lavi was sprawled out on the couch, it looked like he'd just plopped down and fallen asleep. One arm was resting over his stomach, and his left leg and arm were both hanging off the side of the couch. His mouth was open and Kanda was sure he would start snoring or drooling soon. He looked relaxed in his sleep, and it surprised Kanda that he was so still, nothing but his chest moved as he breathed. Lavi must've been tired if he had fallen asleep so early.

Kanda sat on the armrest of the couch, looking down on the sleeping boy. He sort of felt like he should tell Lavi about his decision to stay by him and protect him, however he wasn't about to tell a conscious Lavi that, so this was perfect. He made himself comfortable before speaking.

"You're an idiot, you're too curious for your own good, and you'll probably annoy me every day for the rest of my natural life in one way or other. You're confusing as hell and I regret ever binding you to me with a curse that only effects me. Still... I can't say I regret saving your life. So, because you are an idiot who can't keep himself out of trouble, I'm going to protect you. But only because I have to. Don't get the wrong idea, stupid rabbit." Somehow, that wasn't as touching as expected, for which Kanda was glad.

He sat for a few more minutes on the armrest, before deciding he'd stared at Lavi and the rest of the room long enough, and stood up. He took one last look at Lavi and then realized something that hadn't really registered with him: Lavi had gotten a new scarf. A strange little idea came to mind and he decided that since Lavi apparently slept like a rock he'd go through with it. He had planned to give Lavi's other scarf back anyway...

He slipped Lavi's current scarf off his neck, it was the same orange color as his old one, it was practically a perfect copy of his original one. Kanda faintly wondered if Lavi purposely bought the same scarf over and over again, maybe he had spares somewhere? Maybe his closet was filled with hundreds of orange scarfs?

Getting his mind back on the task at hand, Kanda took the old scarf and wound it loosely around Lavi's neck, trying not to choke the boy with it. He took the newly stolen scarf and balled it up just as he had done to the first. Well, that solved his sleeping problems.

_Hm...could this be considered recycling?_

000

The next morning Lavi woke slowly, his shoulders still ached from the intensive reading he'd done the day before. He rose slowly, rubbing the back of his head with his left hand as his right supported him. He'd fallen asleep in the library, he must've been really tired if he hadn't even gone to his room when Bookman was done with him. He slowly worked his way to full awareness, and as he did so, he noticed that something was off. He wasn't entirely sure of what it was, but he knew that something was not as it had been before he'd gone to sleep.

He sniffled a little, before sneezing, something was really dusty... sniffing the air again, he realized that the dust was coming from his scarf, which was still wrapped loosely around his neck. He took it off and inspected it; How had it gotten dusty? Upon closer inspection, he realized something: It wasn't his scarf. Well, it _was_, but it wasn't. His old scarf had mysteriously come back to him. And his new one was gone. There was only one suspect for this crime, and said suspect would never admit it, he was a hard nut to crack.

_So he gives me back my old scarf and steals the new one? Hm... how strange._

His mind drifted to Kanda, who had obviously been the one to steal his newer scarf. Was there an actual reason why he had replaced his new scarf with his old one? Would things be different today than they had been over the past couple of days? And what about that strange mark he'd seen part of while in the showers the day before? He'd never thought Kanda was a tattoo type, did those strange lines have a meaning he could discover if he saw the entire pattern?

A strange possibility entered his mind; Maybe it had something to do with the flower in Kanda's room? Lavi would be surprised by just how accurate his guess was.

_Is there no end to the mysteries I have to solve about you, Kanda Yuu?_

**Saya almost went brain dead thinking up this chapter, and yet somehow it managed to come out about 100 words longer than normal. How do things like that happen? Writers block..maybe its not as bad as we writing types think.**


	25. That Straightforward Approach

**Ugh...Saya's got finals all week starting on Tuesday... its no big deal really but its still part of Saya's grade... teachers make things so much worse by flipping out... She thinks she might've bombed her history final. What a crappy silver anniversary chapter...**

**Saya owns the play but not the actors, they belong to Hoshino-ka.**

**Rated T... Because a kiss doesn't call for an M rating.** **Rating will get higher with the chapters.**

25. That straightforward approach

Lavi decided that he wouldn't tell Kanda he knew about his scarf being switched out the next time he saw him. As far as Kanda would know, he had no idea he was wearing his old scarf, and Kanda most definitely hadn't switched them. Lavi was a bit curious about why Kanda needed to switch scarfs, if he wanted to return the old one he could've just left it on the couch or something. Was there some reason why he would want Lavi's scarfs? Judging from the state the returned one was in, it had been taken care of to an extent, it smelt like dust, it had probably been in a drawer for a while, because he hadn't seen it any of the times he'd been in Kanda's room. Still, it was in one piece, relatively clean, and didn't have any holes or rips in it, so he could safely conclude that it had not been abused any.

Lavi sighed, Kanda did too many strange things, it was hard to figure him out. He put his hands on his knees, before pushing himself off the couch, he'd zoned out for a long time, just thinking. Out the back entrance to the library he went, as he headed for the dining hall; He had skipped dinner the night before and his stomach was very angry because this. The halls he walked through seemed just a little too long, and a little too narrow, too crowded. Just from that feeling he could tell he would have another off day. He couldn't help it, Bookman had gotten him into a Bookman mind set the day before, it would take a while for that to wear off. He would prefer it if he was better by the end of breakfast though.

Sadly enough though, when he reached the dining hall, he saw no trace of Yuu, or Lenalee, or any of the people around his age that he'd come to know. Lavi would be fine just sitting at any of the many tables that were around him, because he got along with everyone (when he wasn't pulling pranks). Still, most of the people in the Order tended to sit with the people they worked with, and the people who shared similar backgrounds. The exorcists were the minority and most of them were currently out of the tower, and Lavi didn't share a background with anyone. He could make conversation with anyone though, because he knew a little about everything, and in some cases a lot. Still, he'd prefer to sit with the people he knew better.

_I s'pose this is my chance to learn about the Order a little more? I can consider it an assignment for myself._

Lavi sighed yet again, he was turning breakfast into work, what a horrible way to start the day. He really didn't feel up to practicing being "frivolous and friendly" and was considering just sitting alone at one of the empty tables rather than working over breakfast.

But when had he become such a slacker? Before he came to the Order, he would have no problem just sitting with a group of strangers and asking them about anything and everything that came to mind. He wouldn't care if he was being a Bookman over breakfast, or any meal. Before he wouldn't have let his logs get so behind either, he wouldn't get so distracted that he would have to spend an entire day catching up.

_hmph... The Order's makin' me soft! Or maybe it's just this attitude that I have to fake, maybe its affecting me more than it should?_

Lavi threw that thought aside, as he decided on which table he would invade that morning. Just as he was headed toward one though, there was a light tap on his shoulder. Turning around, he saw Lenalee, with her usual happy smile.

"Care to sit with me Lavi?"

_Well how could I say no to that face?_

Lavi happily took Lenalee's invitation as an excuse to forget everything he was just thinking about and sit with her. The two made there way to the closest empty table they could find, Lavi having fun with his little balancing act as he did so. He didn't eat a grossly large amount, but he did eat a bit more than was normal. This meant lots of plates to balance in ridiculous ways. Making a mess of things was always good fun.

"It's been a while since we've actually eaten a meal together, huh?" Lenalee said as she sat down, it was more of a statement than a question. Lavi slid into the seat across from her.

"Yeah, I s'pose it has been." While neither of them had been particularly busy as of late, they rarely ate together. That was because Lenalee was always busy bringing food to the science department personnel, so she ate with them more often than not. Lavi had noticed that she preferred to do that, rather than eat in the dining hall. He didn't blame her, she knew the people there better, not to mention that as long as she was there she could enjoy meals with her brother. Sometimes he wondered why she would bother eating in the dining hall when she did, if she liked the science department so much.

"So..." Lenalee started, pushing food around her plate with her fork. "How are things going with you lately? You seemed a little down when I saw you." Before he had noticed her, Lavi had seemed a little off that morning, maybe he had something he was thinking hard about? If he was troubled, she would be more than glad to listen to her friend's problem, if he could talk about them.

"Things are fine... I guess. I'm just a lil' out of it now 'cause Panda worked me like a mule yesterday. Yuu-chan keeps beatin' the crap outta me too, I'll admit I totally deserved that though." He said this last part in an almost proud way that showed all too clearly how unremorseful he was.

"And...what did you do that got you in so much trouble with Kanda?" Lenalee asked, wondering if it was really a good idea to ask. Lavi grinned deviously.

"The unspeakable." Lavi watched with amusement as Lenalee's eyes went wide, and she paled then reddened. What was she thinking he meant? Oh, what fun it was to tease!

"Y-you did what..?"

"Relax, I'm just pullin' your leg. I just went places I wasn't supposed to go and saw things I wasn't supposed to see."

"Oh." Lenalee went back to poking her food around her plate, occasionally actually eating some of it. She wasn't all that hungry, and she usually at slowly anyways. "So how are things with you...and Kanda..." She tried her best to sound nonchalant; She'd promised that she'd never speak of what she saw but she really couldn't help but be curious about their relationship now that she'd gotten an eyeful of it. It was so much more interesting than just watching normal, if not somewhat depressed and overworked, people go about daily life in the tower. She needed something to stay interested in too. Maybe she could help Lavi along some, get Kanda to act at least a little nicer toward him? Oh the possibilities!

Lavi got the feeling that Lenalee's mind was working in a very strange way, and decided that it may be a bad idea to deny her information...

"Well I'm pretty sure he's pissed as hell at me, though I must say that he constantly sends mixed signals, always has. And I'm so curious and he knows I am but he won't tell me anything about himself!" Lavi finished off his small rant with a huff and a matching pout. Lenalee gave him a curious look.

"Really? What kinds of things do you want to know about him? Have you ever considered just asking him?" She knew that Kanda was anti-social, and she knew he liked to keep to himself, but she also knew that simply asking a question (provided that it wasn't too personal) could get you a long ways with him.

"Of course not, that would never work! He's secretive, he wouldn't even tell me what color the sky was if I asked!" Lavi was starting to look like a neglected puppy, and he was whining as such.

"I think you're wrong about that. I mean, on our most recent mission, he told me a bit about his family when I asked him. He told me plenty of things and all I had to do was ask." Lavi gaped at her; How unfair, that he should do so much work and get abused for it when she had just taken the simple way out and asked! Where's the fun in just asking anyway? It was much more rewarding to work hard to find information.

"...Of course its all just tiring if you never find anything out..." Lavi mumbled, his face getting gloomy.

"Uh...huh?"

"Lenalee!" Lenalee jumped as Lavi put his hands on the table and stood up, staring at her intently from where he was above her. Had he always been so...hyper in the morning? Maybe she was better off just sticking to her science department buddies? "What did he tell you about? And why, if you know?"

_Lavi is kinda...he's getting borderline stalker-ish... Well, that's nothing new._

"He told me a bit about his siblings and parents... and a little about the city he grew up in. I think he tells me these things because I remind him of his little sister, he said I did once. That, and he seems to like talking about home..." Lenalee felt a pang of sadness for Kanda, he obviously liked the place he'd grown up in, and now he could never return because he happened to be innocence compatible. He could never see the family that he cared so much about because the world was in danger and he had no choice but to protect it by erasing his existence from where he had once lived. He still talked about his family because it was not yet a painful memory for him, but it would be, give it some more time and she knew that the topic of family would become painful for him, just like it had for anyone else in the Order who had one somewhere in the world.

Lavi sat back down, wondering why he'd gotten up in the first place. While that wasn't quite the information he was looking for about Kanda, it would still be needed for the log he would eventually write about the older boy. Who knows, maybe he could learn something about that eerie flower or that strange marking on Kanda's chest by learning about his life before the Order? At the least, he could learn about what things it would be pointless to look into further.

"Hm...this whole asking him directly thing might just be a good idea..." He put his hand to his chin, striking a dramatic pose that was supposed to make him look like he was seriously thinking about something. It just made Lenalee want to laugh.

"Well, good luck with that. And a little advice, respecting his boundaries might help a little."

"Pft, like hell I will."

"All right then... I warned you."

"Ack! Breakfast is getting cold!" Lenalee sighed, with a strange little half-smile, Lavi was so easily distracted.

000

Kanda didn't think much of it when he found that he had almost trained through breakfast, again. He had been glad that the showers were empty and didn't realize until afterward that it was because it was the middle of breakfast. Still, he didn't really feel like being hungry all day again, so he made his way to the cafeteria as quickly as he could, figuring that he could probably make it to the dining hall before Jerry closed up the kitchen to start working on lunch.

It seemed to be his lucky day, as by the time he reached the dining hall it was hardly crowded and more and more people were leaving by the minute. He'd do this more often if he didn't think he'd train right through breakfast and into lunch. He went through the nearly non-existent line to pick up his breakfast and quickly made his way to the far side of an empty table that was close to one of the windows. He was hoping that the rest of the day would go as it had been, with no surprises, no dealing with people he didn't want to deal with, nothing but calm, and maybe a mission, it'd be nice to get out of the tower again.

Kanda had quite a few anger management problems that he knew he would have to fix if he wanted this whole "protect Lavi" thing to work out. Lavi was never going to stop being annoying, of this Kanda could be sure. He'd have to start denying his impulse to harm Lavi every time the other boy said something offensive, or did something stupid. He'd have to be a little more lenient, a little more tolerant, a little more patient...Ok, so maybe a lot more lenient, tolerant and patient.

And of course, this was going to be more difficult than necessary for no other reason than the fact that this was _Lavi_ he was dealing with. Lavi, who found it strange if he didn't punch him at least once a day. Lavi, who would quickly correct that problem as if the world depended on Kanda's fist connecting with his face. Lavi couldn't just be happy with the fact that Kanda was attempting to cut down on violence, could he? Well, at least violence toward Lavi...surely he would have to find a new outlet for his anger.

So because of this, Kanda was all the more pleased to find that he would be eating in peace, and he savored his soba as he should. He'd need time to get into this new... "nice" way of being, a transition period of sorts. Maybe he'd be lucky and Lavi would make this easy for him?

Someone blew air into his ear, and Kanda was proud of the fact that he hadn't jumped or given the slightest indication of being bothered by it, even though he already felt his blood boiling with the need to strangle the usagi that was undoubtedly grinning like an idiot behind him. And he was, until his little plan to annoy Kanda first thing in the morning failed. His grin turned into a frown that slowly became a pout.

"No fairYuu-chan! Not reactin' really puts me off, you know?"

"Hm, you'll just have to get used to that then, won't you?"

Lavi sat down beside Kanda, curious as to why he was being so unresponsive today. Really, just the day before Yuu was so wound up that blowing in his ear would've been enough to make him yell and throw a punch, at the very least. It was probably a good thing though, because for once Lavi wasn't here to annoy Yuu-chan. Lenalee's idea of being straightforward was still fresh in his mind (he had only finished breakfast a few minutes before), and he was eager to see if it actually worked.

"So, why didn't you react? Was it kinda like that time in the forest when you knew where I was, even though you were blindfolded? Then I'd never be able to surprise ya! That'd suck." Kanda barely raised an eyebrow at the Lavi's question, which had been followed by his rambling about irrelevant things.

"I've chosen not to give you the satisfaction of getting annoyed by anything you do." Was his simple answer, after which he ate a little more soba.

"And I do so love gettin' a rise outta ya." Kanda managed to stop his facial expressions from changing, and he simply refused to acknowledge that his face was heating up. Lavi couldn't help but think that a scowling, blushing Kanda was cute.

"Idiot. Don't say such obscurely perverse things." His voice was almost monotone, this whole staying calm thing was easier than Kanda had thought it would be. Maybe this could work out after all?

_I'm getting off track! I told myself that I would use today's breakfast as a way to learn more about the people of the Order! And Yuu has conveniently appeared before me! So naturally I must take this opportunity to do my job and ask questions!_

Funny how he remembers to work as soon as Kanda's involved.

000

Lavi followed Kanda about in such a way that Kanda couldn't get angry even if he actually wanted to. He wasn't talking insistently, he wasn't making lascivious comments, he wasn't touching Kanda in any way, shape, or form, he just wasn't being annoying. It was almost like he was being a normal person. Kanda was starting to wonder if maybe something was wrong with Lavi, maybe he had a cold, or some serious terminal disease and he was mellowing out because of that?

Lavi was doing his best not to set his friend off (he wondered if he could really call Kanda a friend, they didn't exactly have the most tender of relationships.) He was going to try and ask questions, so he figured he should try and keep Kanda in a good mood, or at least as good as his mood ever gets. He seemed to be doing a good job of it too, who would've thought just keeping his mouth shut and his hands off would have such outstanding results? Well, ok, he knew that Kanda's hostility toward him was entirely his fault, but it was always fun to make a big deal out of obvious things.

Kanda led them to the library, only because he hadn't had a specific goal in mind when he'd gotten up, and thought he should do more than just wander if he was going to have a second shadow. The back of the library was rather secluded, both of them felt somewhat comfortable there, and it was less out of the way than the forest was, so that's where he chose to go. He was starting to wonder why Lavi was following him, did he have something in mind? Maybe he would be better off just walking around and staying in a public place...

He opened the library doors and figured it was a bit late to turn back and keep walking.

"The library? You plannin' to kill me back here this time?" Lavi asked jokingly. Kanda rolled his eyes.

"I wouldn't kill you." Lavi was both relived and alarmed, so Kanda wouldn't kill him, great, but that wasn't exactly the greatest limit in the world... nearly killing him would still hurt but it wouldn't kill him...it'd _nearly_ kill him.

Kanda walked over to the usual couch, sitting down with a feeling of awkwardness; Why on Earth was he here anyway? Lavi plopped down next to him with much less grace, looking much more comfortable than the samurai next to him, who was still sitting stiffly, as though he had a knife to his back that would stab him if he wasn't sitting perfectly straight.

"Geez Yuu-chan, relax."

"Why did you come here with me?" Kanda decided to get to the point, so that he didn't have to sit here and be suspicious all day.

"'Cause I was curious about somthin' and wanted to ask you about it." Kanda was hit with the urge to leave, whenever Lavi said he was curious things always ended badly...

"I was just wondering about... what your life was like before the Order, how Kanda Yuu came to be who he is today, or however ya wanna say it." Kanda was immediately put at ease by this, he could talk about his family, no problem there. He wasn't as braggy about his as Komui was about Lenalee, but he wouldn't turn down a chance to say that he thought Naoko was undoubtedly the smartest and strongest girl in Japan, or to complain about the terror that was his misguided yet good-natured brother. He'd proudly say that his parents expected him to take over the strongest kenjutsu dojo in their district. He'd say all that and more, and he'd easily condense it into just as many sentences, if he felt like it.

**This is definitely not one of Saya's favorite chapters. She couldn't think at all. She's been so stressed about her finals and she's getting serious writer's block but she still wanted to update at least once this week but it came out as pointless filler crap and Saya really wishes she hadn't even tried but now that she did and its written it ended up having a few minorly important points in it...ah damn. Oh well, even if this is the only thing she gets out this week, she'll still be glad she got something out... -sigh- What a lame chapter...-slowly descends into self-depreciation-**

**At least this set up for something...**


	26. Memories

**Heya lovelies! Here's yet another chapter that was pretty much made up on the spot (aren't they always?) Hopefully it won't be fail... From the responses Saya got last chapter, she might have to retract her statement about it sucking.**

**Saya owns the play but not the actors, they belong to Hoshino-ka.**

**Rated T... Because a kiss doesn't call for an M rating.** **Rating will get higher with the chapters.**

26. Memories

Kanda wasn't sure where to start, there were a million things he would love to say about his family. He was sure that he had the ability to become just as much of a family-crazed nascence as Komui was, the key difference between Komui and he being that he had this little thing called self-control and dignity that prevented him from wanting to ramble for hours on end like a proud and shameless father over his family.

"Yuu-chan! Are ya gonna start anytime soon?" Lavi asked, waving a hand in front of Kanda's face, he seemed to have zoned out a little bit. He looked deep in thought, and that worried Lavi a little because Kanda wasn't a thinker, he was a slash-_then_-think kinda guy. There had been no slashing, so it would follow that there should be no thinking.

Kanda pulled himself from his thoughts, looking at Lavi for a moment as though he'd forgotten the other was there. "Er...right." He wasn't very good at story-telling, and even then, he wasn't exactly telling a story, he was just describing his family. Still, where, oh where to begin? He had never been good at talking for extended periods of time, which is why he tended to avoid them, so why wasn't he avoiding talking about this?

Oh, right, because he never gave up a chance to talk about his family.

After another long pause of Kanda thinking, Lavi finally caught onto the fact that he wasn't being stubborn about talking, he just wasn't sure where to start. Maybe a little prompting was in order?

"Ya got any siblings? A brother or sister? Maybe a really annoying cousin with an extra toe or something?" Kanda squinted at him like there was something wrong with him; What kinda random question was that? Of course none of his relatives would have an extra toe.

"Just askin'." Kanda sighed and decided he'd start by describing his older brother, Hayate. After all, usually one saves the best for last, and so Naoko's description would come later.

"I've got two siblings, an older brother and a younger sister." He started, taking a deep breath he was sure he would need. "Hayate is four years older than I, his birthday is in July so he'll be 19 soon. He's an idiot, sorta like you. Actually, he's almost exactly like you, much to my displeasure. Hayate likes to cause trouble, though the only thing he's ever done that's illegal is drink any time he can get his hands on some sake. He's probably wandered into the red light district a few times too, while he was still underage. He tends to pull dare-devil stunts and he just loves to drag me into whatever he's doing... especially around my birthday..."

Lavi was a bit miffed about the "an idiot like you" comment still; What was so wrong with being an idiot sometimes? Still, Hayate seemed like an ok person at this point. Lavi grinned a little at Yuu's last sentence.

"So _that's_ why you hate birthdays, huh? 'Cause your big brother always terrified you when they came around." Kanda scowled, Lavi seemed so close to laughing and Kanda felt like punching him just to keep that idiotic grin off his face.

"So what of it? You'd probably hate your birthday too if every year your brother tried to push you off a cliff, or tried to make you use shinai as stilts, or-"

"Dress ya up like a girl and try to take you to the red light's district?"

"Well, even he wouldn't take me to the red lights district like _that_... But God I couldn't face Naoko for a week..." Lavi slapped a hand over his mouth to stop himself from laughing, and Kanda bowed his head low and groaned at the realization of what he'd just admitted to.

When Lavi felt he would open his mouth again without snorting or something, he tried to get Yuu back on track.

"Um... moving on..." Kanda was more than glad to get beyond that embarrassing memory.

"Right... well... I suppose that he had some qualities that some people would consider good... He was laid back, and didn't rush people or admonish them... But he was a slacker beyond the point of acceptance, and he's already said he refuses to take over our family's dojo... Even so, I guess he was a good brother...or something." Kanda was looking in every direction but at Lavi, as though he were embarrassed to be admitting that he actually thought his brother was an ok guy. Lavi really wanted to tease him and tell him his denial was adorable, but thought better of it; He still had a sister and two parents to learn about, along with whatever else he could get out of Yuu, it wouldn't be good if he got Kanda angry before he learned about them.

"I dunno Yuu, he sounds like a fun guy to me!"

"Well of course he would, he's practically your soul twin."

"Soul twin..? Anyway, who was that Naoko person you were talking about? A lil' gal pal perhaps?" Kanda gave Lavi a look that told him he should never, ever say something like that again, on the pain of death.

"Like hell, she was-is-my little sister." Kanda only just realized that he was talking about his family in the past tense. They were still alive, of that he was sure, the Order had promised to protect his family when he entered it. He may not be able to see them anymore, but they were still his family and he had no reason to speak as though they weren't.

"She is easily the best little sister a person could ask for. She practically idolized me but wasn't annoying in the least. Usually she managed to stop Hayate's evil schemes before too much damage could be done to me or any random person's property. She was very honest, and very blunt, it was always hilarious to watch her completely destroy my brother's crack-logic. She could probably tear you to shreds verbally and she's only 11."

"...I can see why you like her so much... She does all the talking and you do all the slicing, huh?"

"Sounds about right."

"So...she's 11, eh? Only 3 years younger than me... Makes me wanna meet her, is she cute?"

"She was easily the cutest person in our village." Lavi's mind went crazy thinking of a miniature female Kanda look-alike. His mental images were cute enough to send him far, far off into some fluffy land of fantasy.

"If you even think about her, I'll kill you." Kanda the terrible would surely come back with a vengeance if he ever found that Lavi was thinking anything at all about his sister. He just plain didn't trust Lavi's perverted mind.

"Um...back to before when you weren't threatening to kill me please, for now anyway." Lavi said in a small voice, Kanda raised an eyebrow at the "for now" part, but decided to continue on.

"Naoko was sensible, and reliable, a pretty good fighter too. I suppose if I never make it back to Japan then she'll just take over." The idea of Naoko taking over the dojo made him smirk with pride, she would undoubtably make their name one to be feared. She was only 11 and she could already beat Hayate with ease; He was pretty good, despite how he slacked off. It would only be a matter of time before she reached his level and surpassed him.

Mugen was added to Lavi's mental image of Kanda's little sister, and somehow he wasn't sure he'd be able to survive even imagining what she looked like anymore... if Kanda didn't kill him surely an angry Naoko would...somehow.

"All right! So siblings are out of the way, right? What about your parents?"

"They're good people, they were always fair to us and never jumped to wild conclusions. Well, they might've done that with Hayate, but then they were usually correct. As soon as we got into the dojo though, father was a demon, anyone would think it was a completely different person. And then he changed even more if mother was in there with him..." Muscles on Kanda's face were tightening and loosening, as though he were holding back a fond smile that desperately wanted to break out on his face. "Then she was in charge and he was whipped."

Lavi really wanted to hug Kanda, he just looked so adorable it was hard to keep his hands off of him. He really should've asked these questions sooner, because a Kanda who is fondly remembering things is cute and so much easier to handle than a Kanda who is constantly swinging his sword around, pissed as all hell (even though an angry Kanda is also cute). Still, somehow the dots just weren't connecting. Usually, when people are brought up in a happy home, they aren't as prone to be violent...right? At least, not as sword-happy as Kanda was. Every once in a while, sure, some random person just gets a bit weird, but Lavi felt that wasn't the case here. Kanda seemed more than a little mistrusting too, and aside from the terror that was his older brother, he couldn't see any reason why Kanda would be so suspicious of everyone.

Well, ok, scratch that last one, anyone who was in the Black Order knew that they had to be suspicious of everyone they met. Lavi wondered if Kanda had always been so distrusting, or if this was something that was fairly new? Maybe someone in his family had been attacked by an akuma, or maybe someone who lived in his village? It was more than possible, Japan was an incredibly difficult place for humans to live, Bookman had said so once in passing one day when he'd asked why they never go there, and why he had to know the basics of a language he'd never use.

"Your family seems so nice, you're really lucky to have had a family that was so warm." Lavi thought aloud. Kanda scowled, he was starting to get annoyed with all this past-tense talk.

"I still have them you know, there's no point in talking like they don't exist anymore. I don't care if this war goes on forever and I never get to see them or contact them again, they are still mine." Lavi tried his best not to let his face contort into some pitying frown, no doubt Kanda would get angry with him if he did. Just from talking about them, Kanda was starting to get sensitive about the subject. He was glad he asked about this now, because he could tell that from the way things were going, one day Kanda would refuse to even mention his parents, or his siblings, or the dojo he would've most definitely have run well if he hadn't been drafted into the Order by the innocence. Someone would have to remember those things for him, so Lavi figured he might as well.

A change of subject was in order, for if he waited much longer, Lavi was sure Kanda would just get up and leave.

"So, I'm tryin' to figure somethin' out about you. How is it that you became so anti-social and distrustful?" Kanda huffed and looked away sharply, he had no reason to explain that to anyone. Looking back on it, what happened wasn't all that significant, he knew he was making a huge deal about it, and that he should've stopped being so pessimistic years ago. He was aware of that, and it seemed so stupid to stay hung up over something so small, and yet it was so ingrained into his being by now to be suspicious of everyone that he couldn't stop even if he tried. It was so childish of him and yet he couldn't shake it.

"No comment." Kanda said cooly, determined not to say a thing about the stupid transaction that still managed to hold him back even now.

Lavi didn't feel like prying at the moment, he was getting rather fed up with how the mood was going from bad to worse. He needed to do or ask something Lavi-ish, he needed to take out Nyoibo and crush the upsetting mood into little, tiny bits.

"What about you?" Kanda asked suddenly, diverting the attention from himself. He continued when Lavi gave him a quizzical look. "You had to come from somewhere."

Lavi gave a mirthless laugh, though he hadn't meant for it to come out that way. Where he came from, what his real name was, his parents' faces, all of those things that normal people knew about themselves, he either didn't remember, or had given up. Maybe he felt a little bitter about that for some reason? It only made sense that sometimes he would dislike the fact that he'd actually _chosen_ to do that, every once in a while he couldn't help but regret it.

Still, all he had to do was remember _why_ he chose to become a Bookman in the first place, and those regrets disappeared. The only problem was remembering why he'd chosen to leave home, he'd been so very young when he left. He had this feeling that his family hadn't been the best of them. Any time he tried to remember that time, a time that he was scarcely old enough to remember anyway, all he got was a bad feeling. Maybe it was best to leave those memories buried deep within his subconscious.

"As far as I know, I have no siblings. I chose to be a Bookman a_ looong_ time ago, and Panda-jiji is the only person that's always been with me since then."

"Oh." Was all Kanda said, it had never occurred to him that maybe there were painful things in Lavi's past. Sure, everyone had things they preferred not to remember, but Lavi always seemed to laugh like he knew no pain, he always smiled like nothing was wrong, when really the world was falling apart all around them. Of course there was always the dream Lavi... but it was hard to connect those two in his mind, because he'd never actually been there to physically see, with his own two eyes, that cold, distant person, he'd only ever seen that Lavi in dreams. He felt quite dumb for bringing up the subject of Lavi's family, and told himself that it was _not_ pity that was threatening to momentarily take over.

"One more question, and I'm done for the day, promise." Lavi said, making sure to mentally add that this would not be the last time he questioned Yuu if he could help it. Kanda wasn't so sure about letting Lavi ask him anything else though, because honestly his throat was starting to hurt from talking so much and he was sick of hearing his own voice. Talking for extended periods of time tended to make him realize that he still had a long way to go before he could speak unaccented English, and he didn't particularly like being reminded of how he couldn't quite pin down the difference between "L" and "R", or how he_ still_ had trouble with the "Th" sound.

Lavi was not oblivious to how Kanda seemed to just want to clam up in his room for the rest of the week and stay mute for a while.

"Who is it that I have so rudely yet completely replaced?" He asked, his tone happy and his sudden shift in attitude coming off as just a bit overbearing. Kanda put a finger to his lip in the cutest of fashions as he thought (the cuteness being unintentional, of course.)

"Well Hayate was always the village idiot..." Lavi huffed indignantly, seriously, what was wrong with being an idiot?!

"That's not what I meant! Geez, do you always think so negatively? I'm askin' who your old best friend was back home!"

Kanda gave him a completely bewildered look. Lavi was his what now? Granted, it had been a while since he last best friend and maybe the times had changed or these types of relationships changed as one got older but he was pretty damn sure that best friends should not act the way they did. Did real best friends go around constantly trying to piss the other off? Would someone who was supposedly a "Best friend" molest him all the time? Was he supposed to try to kill his best friend or use him as a punching bag when he was pissed? Somehow that just didn't seem to match up with the memories of his last best friend. Of course, when he started comparing Lavi and this old friend, he started to see why he didn't trust Lavi that much. If there was one thing he'd learned before, it was that best friends weren't always so trustworthy.

"...Yori. His name was Yori."

"Hm... So his name was "trust" huh? Seems like a good name for a friend." Kanda just rolled his eyes and got up, he wasn't going to answer any more questions, he didn't know why he'd been so cooperative in the first place.

"Whatever. I'm leaving." Was all Kanda said before he left the library, and Lavi was left wondering why that seemed like such and unexpectedly sore subject.

000

Kanda felt exhausted after another afternoon of training. He was starting to think he should change up his schedule a little, there is a limit to how bland one's day should be. Maybe he'd spend some time in one of the parlors? He could always help Lenalee out with something... Maybe not, he wasn't the helpful type. Reading was always an option; It was infuriating to have to struggle through it, but he had to do it sometime, he should practice now while he had the time, rather than when he's going out for a mission and only has so much time to look over his papers. But he'd just been in the library earlier, and he would feel a little dumb if he went back so soon. Maybe he should just wander around until he found something worth doing?

Sadly, that's actually what he ended up doing. He had to wonder why people were still looking at him like he was going to suddenly bring out Mugen and slice them all into little sushi-sized pieces, even though he wasn't exuding any particularly evil aura. Not to say he minded never having to deal with congested halls. It was something to be proud of really, to be a boy who was just barely 15 years old, and have 80 percent of a building stuffed with full-grown adults fear him. He wondered what would happen if he ever said "boo"?

Somehow, in his wandering, Kanda found himself climbing a large staircase, with no visible end in sight. When he realized this, his first thought was that he wanted to find out where he was going, where these stairs headed. Sometimes he found himself doing something he didn't realize he was doing, and he would simply have to follow through with it out of compulsion. Now was one of those times. He had to reach the top, he had to see just what was up there, he'd never bothered to explore the castle much, anything could be up there.

The stairs spiraled downward, in a tight rectangle that left maybe a two meter square of space in the center where he could look down and see all the way to the bottom of the tower. Well, he could try to anyway, it was way too far down to see clearly.

Half an hour after he'd realized he was climbing the steps, he had still not reached the top. The tower was tall, he knew, with God-knew how many stories, but this was ridiculous, was there even anything on all of these floors? Was it all lodgings or the secret experiment rooms he'd heard so much about from Lenalee? And why, oh why did he have to find stairs and not an elevator? He thought about turning back, but he realized that he would probably waste more time going back down than he would if he just finished his trek... probably. Whatever was at the top damn well better be worth all the energy he was wasting to get there.

It took about another half hour to get to the top, maybe more, maybe less, he wouldn't know. He had gone by floor after floor, waiting to come to the top floor, and for the stairs to just stop coming, but instead he found himself face-to-face with a door; He'd reached the roof, he guessed. Yuu was a little annoyed that he'd just spent more than an hour climbing to the roof, but who knew what could be up there, it might be nice, and he doubted that may other people in the Order would have the time or will to climb up all of those steps, it could be a nice place to be alone.

He opened the door and was immediately hit by rain; Damn England and its rainy weather. He ignored it easily, for he had trained in it many times before, and because the air was (slightly) warmer than usual, and he was practically exhausted from his long climb up here, the rain felt pretty nice, and was quite welcome. The first thing Kanda did was check to see if anyone was on the roof, and as far as he could tell, all that was up there was a few chimney stacks, the larger components of the Order's ventilation system, a water tower, and a few other miscellaneous things that he wasn't quite sure about.

Kanda looked up to the sky, it was sunset already. Just how long had he wandered? And how long had he climbed? He shook his head a few times to get rid of these pointless thoughts, this was a perfect chance to meditate and watch the sun set. He was not one of those romantic souls who would dream of sharing this place with anyone, far from it, he wanted it all to himself. He didn't particularly care about the sun set, or how the sky changed colors by the minute, each more dark and beautiful than the last. Yuu could still appreciate nature though, if he really felt up to it. Really though, he just wanted a place to be alone, where no one could find him.

He sat himself down as comfortably as he could while on the cold and wet roof, and watch the sun sink behind the large city that sat far, far below, already glittering with street lights that looked just as small as the stars did.

**What kinda ending was that? Oh well... so...notes and stuff! "Yori" as Lavi said, means "Trust". When Saya was choosing this name, she already had the meaning she wanted in mind, she either wanted it to match his role in Kanda's past perfectly, or be a completely ironic name. Surely all of you could tell from the context of the chapter which one she went with. He won't physically appear in this story, he's just there by name, to give Lavi something to investigate when bored. Honestly though, this name stuck out to Saya because it's sounds a lot like "Yoru" and Saya just loves that name! In her head she can just hear Ran from Sukisyo whispering "Yoru" before the two go off into yaoi land! hehe..**.

**And Sorry about the crazy updating lately...Saya just can't update daily anymore. Her chapters are getting longer (they're nearly a respectable length! yay!) And her ideas are growing smaller. She's been writing nonstop for nearly a year now though, the river has to turn into a trickle sometime.**


	27. Free falling

**Ack...sorry for the way late update...Saya was updating a fic elsewhere, one of the few that has yet to be released on Ffnet. Those of you who are true interweb stalkers know what Saya's talking about. **

**Saya owns the play but not the actors, they belong to Hoshino-ka.**

**Rated T... Because a kiss doesn't call for an M rating.** **Rating will get higher with the chapters.**

27. Free-falling

It had happened again. Lenalee was once again completely clueless as to the whereabouts of a certain Japanese youth. She wouldn't panic this time though, because she knew that Lavi would be able to find him somewhere. He'd done it before, and chances were that if she couldn't find Yuu, he must be in that place that only Lavi knew about. If Lavi couldn't find him, then she'd panic. Lenalee had wondered why her brother didn't just tell Kanda about these missions earlier in the day, that way Kanda wouldn't be a hassle to find, and said boy would be able to leave on the same day he was given his mission. However when she asked why Komui didn't do that, he said it was because once Kanda got a mission, he wouldn't rest until it was over. So, he gave the reports to the boy late, so that he would have no choice but to stay an extra night and sleep.

As thoughtful as that sentiment was, and as much as Lenalee loved her brother for being so considerate to exorcists, she couldn't help but find it troubling that she could never find Kanda at night. Really, where _was_ he sneaking off to? She knew everything about this tower, and could check every nook and cranny, but she could never find him! She'd even worked up the courage to knock on his door this time and nothing! Maybe he just ignored the outside world when in his room, and only came out when he wanted to? In that case, she'd be hard-pressed to believe he'd ever leave it at all.

Lavi was easy enough to find, he was being detained by Bookman in the library. She glided down to the library on activated boots; Her official excuse was that she was practicing controlling them, to get a higher synch rate. Really though, she was feeling just a bit lazy and wanted to find Lavi soon. Besides, it was much easier to get around the tower when one didn't have to walk up all the stairs, or through crowds of people.

"Bookman, could I borrow Lavi for a bit? It's important, and I promise to return him!" Lavi gave her a look that begged her not to "Return" him to the library, he looked ready to keel over and die on top of the piles of book Bookman was making him memorize. Bookman nodded, knowing full well that Lavi would not return if he could help it. Lavi bolted from the library, so that he could talk to Lenalee somewhere safe from books.

"What'cha need Lenalee?" He asked, once they were in the hall.

"I can't find Kanda again...You know that one place I don't, so could you please check there for me? I've checked everywhere else in the tower but there was no sign of him... Komui has another mission for him."

"Aha, I see! Well then, I'll go rescue him from whatever place he's keeping himself. See you then!" Lavi said, turning and waving back to Lenalee before he took off. His first destination was the forest, of course, because he always found Yuu there and could think of no reason why he wouldn't be there. He always went there, because no one else knew about it and no one else could annoy him. Well, Lavi always could, but Lavi had never gotten the impression that being around annoyed his Yuu-chan, not really anyway. Kanda could huff and puff and swear in every language he wanted to, but it was all meaningless if he didn't do something to drive Lavi away.

The moment he stepped foot out of the tower, he felt himself sink just a bit. It had been raining unusually hard, and the ground had become extremely muddy, he found it hard not to slip as he walked. Reaching the forest was no salvation. The tangled roots that made up the ground were wet and slick with moss. He wondered if it was possible for Yuu to train in these conditions. Kanda could do many things, but even Kanda wouldn't able to train in this cold, frictionless environment for long. Despite this, Lavi still decided that it would be best to look around a bit, Kanda had a tendency to do things that most people wouldn't bother trying.

"YUUUUUU-CHAAAAAAN! HERE BOY! THERE'S SOME TASTY SOBA WAITING INSIDE FOR YOUUUU!" Lavi figured that if a Soba lure didn't work, then at the very least Kanda would bash his head in for assuming it would. Sadly there was no reaction. Lavi huffed, if Kanda wasn't here and he wasn't anywhere inside the tower, then where the hell was he?

_Hmph! He better not have gone off and found a new place without me!_

Lavi would be thoroughly miffed if Kanda ended up finding a hiding space that he didn't know about. After all, it was his duty as best friend to be able to locate Kanda at all times. Well, at least in his mind it was. He had to wonder why he'd decided that he was Kanda's "Best friend" in the first place though. Really, it wasn't like he had any particular feelings for anyone in the Order, Kanda included. He didn't feel any particularly strong bond between them, though he would trust the other to watch his back in a battle and he would do the same for Yuu. Still, he was just a Bookman, just an observer, just there by chance, just getting a little to into his current role. He shouldn't say things that would make people assume he has a bond with them, he could end up altering something that he wasn't supposed to. Sadly, it would be quite a while before he learned that it was too late, that he already did.

"Maybe if I go higher I can spot him..." Lavi mumbled to himself, pulling Nyoibo out of its holster and calling for it to grow and extend. Soon he was sitting on the handle, riding through the rainy skies.

000

Kanda could easily be described with one word at the moment: Wet. He felt like he'd fallen into a lake. Scratch that, he felt like he _was_ a lake. He'd sat out in the rain for so long that his clothes were completely soaked through, they were plastered to his skin and starting to feel uncomfortable. He felt like his skin had absorbed enough water to last him a lifetime, and his hair was so weighted down with water that it didn't even blow around in the wind anymore. His body was completely numb and it almost hurt to move. They say that idiots don't catch colds, but Kanda was not an idiot, so he wasn't fortunate enough to have that immunity. However, he was starting to rethink his position of being sensible, because it was nothing less than stupid to sit out in the rain and do nothing for hours.

He got up, feeling his frozen limbs protest the movement. The air around him was warm and humid, but he was so wet that the wind felt like ice. Shivering a little, he decided it would be best to head inside. Walking back down the stairs would take care of his stiffness and he could take off his coat and wring it out once he was inside. He walked through the roof's door and hoped he wouldn't catch a cold.

000

Lavi was sure that he had searched the Order's private cliff a dozen times now, and he had not seen any hint of Kanda. Where could the long-haired one be? Lenalee said she couldn't find him inside, and he couldn't find Yuu outside so where...? Had Kanda gone in _just_ as Lavi had gone out? Had he already been found by Lenalee, and was currently sitting down in Komui's warn office getting his latest mission? If that was the case, Lavi felt that a random act of violence would be in order. As soon as he got over the cold he could feel himself developing. Damn, he hated colds.

Deciding to give up on the hunt, Lavi landed on the roof, letting Odzuchi Kodzuchi shrink back down to it's convenient tooth-pick size before entering through the roof's entrance. He only needed to look down the winding staircase to know that he did not want to actually climb down all of those steps. There had to be a million of them, it would take hours to get all the way down! What person in their right mind would actually climb all of the stairs up the tower and then go back down? It would be ridiculous, a pointless waste of time!

Lavi pointed his hammer's head down, in the center of the staircase where there was a gap large enough for him to travel through. It was at times like these that he found Nyoibo very convenient, very convenient indeed. Commanding the hammer to extend once again, the head shot downward, and Lavi tested the handle once to make sure the hammer had connected to something solid at the bottom before grabbing the pole and riding it down.

He was traveling down at a rather quick speed, he could practically feel water being ripped away from his being. At this rate, he'd be dry by the time he hit the ground. He felt like he was free-falling, it was a nice feeling and a more childish side of him wanted to shout. He'd only descended about ten floors though, before he saw someone. For all of a second he was sure their eyes met, and he was even more sure that he had just passed a rather surprised-looking Yuu on the stairs. Lavi immediately stopped his falling, and instead made the stick grow again, but at a much slower pace than it was shrinking.

Once he stopped, he saw that it was indeed Kanda who was making his way down the stairs. Kanda blinked at him once, but then turned his head forward again and continued his trek downward. Lavi took in his friend's appearance; He was soaked from head to toe, and the more he tried to ignore Lavi's presence, the more he started to look like an annoyed, wet cat. He had his exorcist robe over his arm, it was dripping and leaving a trail of droplets in Kanda's wake. The plain white shirt he wore under his uniform was soaked clear through, and would've given Lavi quite the nice view of Kanda's chest if it weren't for the fact that he was wearing those bandages under it, as always. Those, unfortunately, didn't become transparent when wet. His pants clung to his legs like skin, and Kanda had taken his ponytail out because all the weight of his hair tugging at one place had become painful. Ebony strands stuck to his back and face. Basically, Kanda was very, very wet. It was also more than obvious that he _had_ been outside recently, and Lavi probably_ had _just missed him.

Kanda realized that Lavi had slowed his speed to match his, and it annoyed him. He didn't need Lavi following him down the staircase, especially not while looking like a monkey hanging off a pole! Said monkey was feeling very generous that day, even though just a few minutes earlier he was ready to kick some poor defenseless door in because he'd searched for so long for Kanda outside.

"Hey, Yuu-chan!" Lavi waved at Kanda, who had just turned the bend in the stairs and started to descend another level.

"What do you want, usagi?" Kanda asked, in what could have been a growl, if his teeth hadn't been chattering ever so slightly.

"Lenalee was lookin' for ya. You've got a new mission so you've gotta head down to Komui's office." Kanda nodded, acknowledging that he'd heard and understood.

"I'll get there when I get there." He was not going to run down the stairs or anything just to hear a mission briefing about a mission he wouldn't leave for until tomorrow. Unlike Lenalee, he'd understood from the beginning why Komui always gave him missions at night, and as kind as the gesture was, he didn't appreciate being babied.

"Wanna ride down?" Lavi asked, grinning from ear to ear as he tilted the handle of Odzuchi Odzuchi and touched down on the stair's railing, using Nyoibo as a way to keep his balance. Kanda gave him a suspicious look, he was not inclined to take Lavi's offer at all. His guess that Lavi's idea of a "ride" was something along the lines of sliding down the huge pole Lavi had been holding onto a moment before.

"Geez, don't gotta give me the evil eye for wantin' to help ya!" Lavi pouted, but that didn't stop him from hopping off the railing (with Nyoibo still in hand), and snatching Yuu's wrist. Pulling Kanda to him, he wrapped his free arm around Kanda's waist securely, and jumped back onto the railing, surprising Kanda with his strength and actions.

"Wh-what the hell are you doing?! Let me go now you bastard!" Kanda yelled at him. He struggled against Lavi's hold for a moment, before realizing that it would be a long fall down if Lavi let go. Sadly, said usagi seemed to be in an obliging mood today. Suddenly, Kanda felt the sickening feeling of falling backward through air. His eyes widened before closing tightly, he did not like the feeling of falling and knowing that he'd be met with hard concrete when he finally made it to the bottom.

Something closed around his waist again, and he felt himself being jerked up without warning. Finally, when he was no longer falling or raising, he chose to open his eyes. Lavi gave him an apologetic look.

"Sorry for the fright Yuu, no more strugglin', 'kay? I don't think I could take another scare like that!" Kanda nodded, shaking with what he was determined to believe was anger, wanting to kill Lavi for bringing him onto the railing in the first place, but also feeling quite thankful for the fact that he'd caught him. As he hung onto Lavi's wet jacket in the most casual way he possibly could, he mentally added free-falling to the list of things he hated.

000

After a slow ride down (torturously slow, in Kanda's opinion,) the two touched down on Komui's floor. They got a few stares from the scientists who were around the stairs at the time, but Kanda assured all of them that they would die gruesome deaths if they didn't tactfully look away. Kanda started speed-walking as soon as his feet hit the corridor floor, and Lavi followed happily behind; He figured that since he'd gone though all the trouble to find Yuu-chan, he had a right to know what Kanda's mission was.

"Stop following me. I'm just getting a mission, it's nothing special." Kanda said, annoyance ringing clearly in his voice. He'd had enough of Lavi for the day, and surely Lavi had to have a limit to how much cold treatment he could take.

"But I'm avoiding panda so I've gotta follow you." Kanda didn't understand how trying to get out of work meant that Lavi had to become his second shadow. Still, he knew nothing he said to Lavi would make the idiot realize that himself.

Coming to Komui's door was something of a relief, really. The ride down had dried both Kanda and Lavi off for the most part, but both were still damp and a bit cold, and Komui's office was always warm. Besides, hearing about his new mission would get Kanda's mind off the fact that he was being followed. Kanda let himself in without bothering to knock.

"Ah, finally you're here! It took you long enough to show up." Komui said with a slightly tired look when he saw Kanda enter.

"Its not my fault that people don't know where to find me." Lavi and Komui both wanted to say that it most definitely was, but refrained, for Kanda still looked a bit like an angry, wet cat. Kanda walked across the room, which was still overrun with papers as always, and sat on the couch, Lavi plopping down next to him as though he were here for a briefing too. Komui paid no mind to this and started anyway.

"As you know, your usual missions involve you just going from location to location and wiping out the akuma populations there. Finders and other foot soldiers can't exorcize akuma the way you exorcists can, so we need to send you. Before now it was fine to just send you out from home to do this, but as of late, more and more reports of towns that are completely overrun by akuma have been coming in. Most of these locations are isolated and a bit difficult to reach. Our finders usually stumble upon them by accident. However, I had my suspicions about this, and an order to investigate the matter was sent out." Komui took a sip of his coffee, and grabbed a pointer, ready to get to the main point.

"It turns out that these locations are popping up all over the Eurasian continent, and some of the northern African countries. For the most part, they're in colder regions, and the lines of towns and villages follow mountain ranges. The Alps and Himalayas have the largest amount of them. Your next mission is to go through all of these locations and completely deplete the akuma populations there. You will be meeting up with Daisya Barry and Noise Marie in Gmünd, Austria. I've asked General Tiedoll to assist your group whenever he can, however he receives orders from the higher-ups, so I can't be sure that he will have the time to do so. This is an extended mission, you can take as much time as you need to do it. You'll be receiving other missions while out on the field, so unless you happen upon an innocence fragment, there will be no need for you to return home."

Kanda nodded as all that information sunk into his head. He absently took the information packet handed to him, before leaving the room. The packet was thick, the finders had gathered a lot of information, he'd be up reading all night. He got up and left the room, not realizing that he'd left Lavi behind.

This was just _great._ He finally decided he'd take responsibility for the life he saved, and now he was being shipped off to every mountain range on the Eurasian continent, on a mission that could very well take years to complete. What would happen if Lavi decided to pull another stupid move? Was there someone else who would risk their life to save him? And what if he died? Would Kanda die as well? Or would just another petal fall? Somehow, he forgot to worry about himself getting injured on his next mission. But he was most definitely not worrying about Lavi.

000

Lavi didn't know why, but he wasn't at all ok with the idea of Yuu going on an extended mission like that. It seemed completely suicidal for one, Kanda and his group would basically be going from one akuma nest to another, and destroying everything they could see. They were turning themselves into human targets and they wouldn't even get any innocence out of it, most likely. Besides that, he just didn't really want Kanda to be gone for such a long time. They had been separated before on missions, and Lavi always found that he ended up _missing_ Kanda, if only a little. But that little was growing into a lot, and he was a Bookman, feelings weren't supposed to grow, they were supposed to shrink and disappear.

But even so, it bothered him! He was losing his entertainment, and losing valuable time and chances to get information on Kanda. That was all that was bothering him, right? Because if something was annoying him in any way, it would have to be for a reason that would agitate his Bookman self. It couldn't be for any simple human reason that involved bonds and emotions or anything like that. Maybe, on second though, human reasons weren't so simple, they seemed to be too involved. However, the complex things were always, always made up of simple things, and were usually the simplest things of all.

The red-haired wanderer had considered just leaving Yuu alone for a while, because it had been obvious that something about the mission had shaken him a bit. Maybe he was finally realizing that his job was dangerous? However, with such thoughts in his head now, Lavi couldn't help but want to stick around his friend for a little while longer. So he made his way to Kanda's door, and decided to be bold enough to ask for entry.

When Kanda heard the knock, he knew that it was Lavi, because there was only one person in the whole tower who would do something so foolish as to disturb him while he was in the sanctum of his room.

"What do you want?" He asked, trying to keep the coldness in his voice to a minimum. He was supposed to try and be nice to Lavi, even if it was just a little, and he would be leaving tomorrow.

"I wanted to know if you'd be so kind as to let me in." Kanda was tempted to shut the door in his face.

"Why the hell would you think I'd let you do that?!"

"Yuu, I've been in there before, and you and I both know it. The only difference between then and now would be that I'd have your permission to be here." Kanda was surprised, that was the first time Lavi had actually admitted to going into his room without permission. Part of him wanted to deny Lavi and just tell him to bug off, but another part of him made him step to the side and open the door wider in invitation.

Lavi blinked a few times, unsure of whether this was really happening or not. Yuu giving in without a fight? Nonsense, surely he was dreaming. Kanda's blank face turned into a scowling one.

"Get the hell in or I'm locking you out!" Kanda barked, and that was enough to make Lavi decide that this was the real world after all and he should take the invitation. Lavi looked around once he came in, as though he expected the place to look different now that he was here with Kanda. The information packet Yuu had been given earlier was opened up on the bed, the sheets were a little wrinkled because Kanda had been sitting there a moment before. His uniform was hanging on the open door of his closet, and a small puddle was forming beneath it. Other than that though, it looked very much like it always had.

He wasn't really sure if it was ok to sit down though. He suddenly felt as though he were in a place where one wrong move would mean his head would role. Maybe it was because he always knew that coming in here would mean trouble for him, and he couldn't accept the fact that he'd been allowed in so easily.

Kanda rolled his eyes at Lavi's nervous behavior, and sat back down where he was before, tugging Lavi down onto the bed beside him.

"You're being an idiot. If there's a reason you're here, stop acting all scared and tell me what it is!" Kanda demanded, sticking his nose back into the information packet before Lavi could see that he was embarrassed to have allowed Lavi in. Lavi gave him a strange look that he couldn't see because the packet was very close to his face.

"Yuu-chan, are you near-sighted?" Lavi didn't remember him needing to keep books so close to his face in order to read.

"OF COURSE NOT! And what does that have to do with anything?" Lavi grinned in an ever-so-slightly mischievous way. He moved over to Kanda, and leaned against his legs, which were drawn up half-way to his chest, resting his forearm on the other's knees. His other hand went to the top of the packet, and he took the top between two fingers before pulling it down to reveal Kanda's face. Kanda's face was flushed, and he had the most adorable pout and glare combination that Lavi had ever seen on.

"I just came to spend some time with my dear friend before he leaves. That a problem?" Lavi leaned forward and stole a kiss, which Kanda thought contradicted his "friend" statement from before. He was once again tempted to throw Lavi out.

"... Whatever..."

"Yay! Now skooch over so I can sit." Kanda moved to the side so that he wouldn't have to stare at Lavi any longer like that. Lavi took his new place happily, and saw that Yuu was on page 20 out of a good 100 or so pages. His reading had improved, definitely, but he would still have to stay up most of the night to read this himself.

"Well, how about I help you through this, hm?" Kanda nodded slowly, as though reluctant, but really he was glad that he wouldn't have to muddle through it alone.

000

"We're almost through this thing! Just a few more pages!" Lavi said happily, stretching his legs in front of him. Kanda didn't quite share his enthusiasm for finishing though. Actually, he'd been trying to stop himself from nodding off for a while now. A lot of the information was redundant, the entire packet was just a few paragraphs of information about all the currently known akuma nests.

"All right, this last section is about all the nests in India..." Lavi went on from there, and somehow he was able to keep Kanda awake at the same time. Well, he tried anyway. But he had a smooth voice, something that Kanda had never really noticed before, probably because he was always saying stupid things and being so overly hyper. Just reading like this made him sound different. Kanda took his eyes off the page for all of a second, closed them, and before he knew it he was out like a light.

Lavi felt a new weight on his shoulder, and looked down to see that Kanda had fallen asleep on him. Unable to resist taking the chance set before him, he tilted Yuu's sleeping head up and kissed him.

"Stupid...we were on the last page too."

**long chapter like whoa...the longest yet for this story. Saya knows it's not enough to make up for how horribly late this is but...please accept her apology... she doesn't even have an excuse (besides the usual ones). Gomen nasai minna... next chapter is one filled with time-skips.**


	28. Months Go By

**Ack...sorry for the lateness...that's all Saya ever seems to say these days...she needs a new apology. **

**Saya owns the play but not the actors, they belong to Hoshino-ka.**

**Rated T... Because a kiss doesn't call for an M rating.****Rating will get higher with the chapters.**

28. Months go by

_His tired eyes finally fell shut, for he couldn't find the energy to keep them open any longer. His head dropped down to Lavi's shoulder, but he was asleep before he realized that. Noticing the new weight on his shoulder, Lavi turned to see him sleeping, and smiled before tilting his face up and kissing him._

"_Stupid... we were on the last page too."_

Even though Kanda had just started pushing toward the edge of consciousness, he could feel that his face was covered with a deep blush. Lavi was incorrigible, even when he was asleep the red head still dared to kiss him! He'd let Lavi get away with it earlier, did Lavi really need to kiss him again? And what was worse, Lavi was still in his room when he woke up! He should've left the moment Kanda had fallen asleep. However, he'd just laid down and made himself comfortable and at home in Kanda's bed! Kanda knew every little thing the other had done, he'd seen it all in his dreams. He hadn't expected his lotus to do that when he was actually in the room with Lavi. Some of his dreams were memories of when they'd been studying before too, it seemed that any time Lavi was in the flower's presence, he would dream it.

Kanda was quick to dress for the day while Lavi was still asleep, hoping that his lotus didn't work in reverse. He finished pulling his hair back into a rigid ponytail just as Lavi's eye cracked open. Kanda stomped over to his bed and immediately socked Lavi, though he went easy on the rabbit because it was early.

"Wh-wha...?" Lavi asked dazed, as he took a moment to recollect himself. As he got his wits together, Kanda gathered the few things he intended to bring with him on his mission; He really only needed Mugen and enough pairs of clothes to last between washings. Kanda would be leaving for the first train he and his team could catch, so he had to be quick about eating and getting to the front gate.

"What the hell was that for, so early in the morning?" Lavi asked now that he was fully awake, his hand covering the place he'd been hit.

"You're a horrible fiend who takes advantage of people in their sleep, and therefore you receive my divine punishment."

"Huh...?" Lavi blinked a few times before having a dawn of realization. A pale blush graced his cheeks, accompanied by a sheepish smile. He hadn't really been thinking about the lotus at the time, and hadn't really thought it would work with Kanda present anyway. Maybe it would just give Kanda dreams any time he was in the room? Well, didn't Lavi feel special? He could make Kanda dream about him any time he wanted to and Kanda couldn't even deny it... A few very devious ideas came to mind with this thought, along with one particular idea that he knew he'd have to save for later.

"Heh, guess I deserved it then? Well, it's early, I guess I should head ta my own room now, huh? See ya later Yuu-chan! I'll be sure to see ya off!" Lavi said cheerily, as though nothing about today would be different from the day before. He jumped off the bed and bounced over to Yuu, pecking him lightly on the cheek. Kanda decided he'd let the other one get away with that one last kiss, after all it would be the last of Lavi's annoy behavior he'd get to deal with for God-knew how long.

He picked up his luggage, which he'd placed near the door when he finished packing it. Kanda took one last look around his room, saying a silent goodbye to his lotus. He was starting to think that despite the strange feeling it had, and its meaning, maybe it wasn't as bad as he first thought? He was sure that if he could change his way of looking at it during his mission, that he could come back to this room and feel comfortable there, like he had the night before. That would be nice, he'd like that.

000

Kanda waited with Marie at the front gate, with a patience that was highly unusual for him. Honestly, he just wasn't sure he was prepared to leave yet, and it wasn't like leaving right away would make too much of a difference. He had no idea when he would return, or if he would at all. He wondered when he'd see Lavi or Lenalee again. Maybe, when he came back, he'd be so different that they wouldn't recognize him? Maybe he would just be forgotten by everyone, he wouldn't be surprised if half the Order dismissed his memory as a bad dream. Next time he was here, would he see that everyone else had changed, and that Lavi had found a new person who was fun to torment? It annoyed Kanda to know that would tick him off. But maybe it wouldn't? Maybe he'd forget Lavi too?

With an annoyed huff, Kanda banished all thoughts from his head, too many of them had to do with that annoying rabbit! Of course he couldn't forget Lavi, they were connected through a curse that only he and Komui knew about. If Lavi forgot him then that would be fine, because either way, he would still do his best not to let either of them get killed.

He heard laughter coming down the hall, and looked to find Daisya and Lavi talking, looking very amused.

"Well, looks like we're off now! See ya Lavi, I'll be sure ta bother Kanda plenty for ya!" Daisya said jokingly, waving back at Lavi as he walked over to his squad.

"Heh, have fun with that!"

_But not too much fun, only I can take things too far._

Lavi looked over to Kanda, who was looking at the floor. His gaze shifted toward Lavi when he felt the weight of his stare. For a moment their eyes met; Lavi was the first to speak.

"See you in a while, then?" He asked simply. Kanda shrugged, looking way almost demurely.

"I suppose so. Heh, I wonder if you'll have finally grown up by then?" Kanda really couldn't stand this tense, almost depressed atmosphere that was threatening to smother him. He had to get rid of it, this couldn't be his last memory of home.

"Hey! I'm already taller then you, ya'know!" Lavi said with a huff. Kanda smirked triumphantly.

"Tch...You'll hardly change at all, if you think that's what I meant." Kanda hoped that would prove to be true.

"Maybe so, but..." Lavi took a few steps forward until he was invading Kanda's personal space. He leaned closer, whispering in Kanda's ear: "Whether I change or not, I'll still give you an extra kiss when you come back, because I can't give you one now."

Despite his words, Lavi still managed to place a quick kiss close to Kanda's ear, in a movement so minute and quick that the others didn't notice it. Kanda's face burnt as he muttered "fool" under his breath.

"Hm...What's up with Kanda?" Daisya asked, as the three left headquarters. Kanda just glared at him, and Noise decided not to inform Kanda that he'd heard every word that Lavi had said.

000

The first month was easy for Lavi to deal with. It wasn't the first time he'd been without his companion for one week, two, three... Bookman kept him busy with all the work he could think up, and the old coot was surprisingly imaginative. Still, his perfect memory was already making things difficult. Any time he walked into the dining hall, if he looked over to Kanda's table, he could still see the other sitting there, praying over his soba as he did every morning. He found himself avoiding going outside unless it was necessary because he was afraid he'd wander into the forests, and remember the times he'd watched Kanda train or sleep by the trees. He only needed to close his eyes to see all the crystalized images in his mind of Kanda sitting with him in the back of the library. Quite frankly, he was starting to get annoyed with himself, he was starting to honestly feel obsessed. Bookmen weren't supposed to feel, they were just supposed to play their roles.

The first month wasn't too bad, but it was most definitely the worst month Lavi had gone through since he'd met his beautiful toy.

000

It was just a little under two months since Kanda had left headquarters, and he was sure he'd hadn't felt so embarrassed since Hayate had made him cross-dress. Honestly, he hadn't meant to do anything special, he had intended to just go on as though the next week and a half would be filled with nothing but normal days. He didn't even know why he remembered that date was important, it had only come up randomly in a conversation over breakfast once. However much Kanda tried to ignore the fact about the day coming up, without even realizing it, he was already looking around for something special.

After decimating one city after another non-stop since June, Kanda's group had come to a stop at a peaceful village in a mountain valley, where there were (surprisingly enough) no akuma, so they could relax. There was a nice little market place that held a vast amount of exceptionally high quality goods. Kanda walked through it alone, because he'd taken leave of the hotel his team was staying at while the others chose to rest. He couldn't bring himself to fall asleep in the middle of the day like Daisya could, and he couldn't just sit and listen to silence the way Marie could, so he decided to walk.

The display window of a small bookstore caught his eye, and without thinking Kanda went over to take a closer look. Sitting between a few books on display, was a set of inks, all in different, beautiful jewel tone colors. In the center of the box that held the inks was a fountain pen with a hand-crafted handle that had intricate designs carved and painted on it. He went into the store to ask the price; It wasn't unreasonable at all, not for something that the store owner had made entirely himself. Kanda walked out of the store with the beautiful set in hand, feeling very embarrassed for having bought Lavi a birthday present. Because that's what was coming up, in less than two week's time, his birthday. Kanda knew right away that he'd never live this down, but it wasn't until later that he realized Lavi would probably just use the inks to make colorful doodles.

000

By the third month, Bookman had decided that Lavi had caught up in all of his duties, and could therefore start going on missions again. He'd been on quite a few with Lenalee, and one or two with other exorcists that he'd never met before. Bookman always accompanied him to make sure that he didn't fall behind on his work while on missions. Lavi wondered if he'd ever get a vacation again.

There was seldom any time to think about anything besides missions and his logs, but every once in a while, when he found himself lying awake (though he usually fell asleep before he hit his bed), Lavi would think about his friend who was off destroying innumerable akuma somewhere in the world. All the work he was doing was great for keeping his mind off the ache in his chest that was becoming more and more prominent. He was starting to hate Kanda, because he missed the boy and he wasn't supposed to miss toys, because Kanda was only supposed to be someone he could pick on to alleviate his boredom, because Bookmen weren't allowed anything more.

The inks he'd gotten just in time for his birthday were on a shelf, not to be used. He couldn't use it to write his logs, because he'd always remember Kanda when he did, and he really didn't need that. The fountain pen was one of his favorites though, he just couldn't bring himself to let a good pen go unused.

Maybe the only way to get rid of this feeling was to express it in some way? One particular idea that he'd been saving in case this happened came to mind. He was quick to leave his own room and head toward Kanda's.

000

All through the third month and up to the fourth, Kanda had dreams. When he'd first fallen into the dreams, he'd been angry. He'd be gone for a long time, so Lavi felt that gave him the right to start entering his room again? He didn't want to deal with that again, he didn't want to hear about how much Lavi was figuring out, he didn't want to know the red head's theories and stories anymore.

But he was soon surprised, when the first thing out of Lavi's mouth had been addressed to him.

"_How ya been Yuu-chan? God, I wish this thing worked both ways...I wonder if it's even working now. I got the present ya sent me, never expected ta get one from your royal coldness. Guess that means ya still love me?"_

Lavi had laughed a little after his teasing comment, and despite his annoyance, Kanda was glad that Lavi was still his immature self.

"_Things around 'ere have been boring as all heck! Nothin' but missions and book work. I bet your mission's gotten borin' for ya too, though you're probably taking it as seriously as ever."_

Lavi was right on the mark, Kanda was bored out of his wits with the "destroy akuma and move on" routine, but he still refused to let his guard down.

"_I wonder if you'll kill me for this later...?"_

At that Kanda could only laugh, though he did his best to stifle it.

000

In month five Lavi started having dreams of his own. Well, it most definitely wasn't the _start_ of such dreams, he was a normal 15-year-old boy and had always been normal, as far as physical development went. However, it was the first time that another male had been present in one of his dreams. Honestly, he was a bit surprised that he hadn't dreamt of Kanda in _that_ way sooner. He'd messed with the boy enough that he was practically tempting fate to give him such night visions.

But God, if it wasn't the most embarrassing thing he'd ever felt. Waking up to a mess in his sheets far too often for his own liking, all because he'd dreamed of his pretty androgynous toy-friend was not his cup of tea. It was made worse by the fact that Bookman decided to sit him down for a "talk". He said names in his sleep apparently. He was sure that all the blood had rushed to his head when Bookman had started their little conversation about his bodily reactions to his male friend. Lavi fainted when Bookman suggested he go to a local brothel if his "Frustration" ever got in the way of his book work.

It already had though. If he let his mind wander too much while writing a log, he'd end up writing down a wrong name or word. He'd be damned if he told the panda that though. He'd been so ashamed after the first time that he hadn't been able to go into Kanda's room for weeks. When he finally did manage to get himself to go back, he didn't manage more than two sentences before he fled the room. Oh, this was such a problem indeed.

000

Half a year after he left headquarters, Kanda noticed that his hair had grown three inches, and now tickled his skin just above the rim of his pants. He considered cutting it, for it was getting heavy on his head and all the weight pulling on his scalp was starting to give him headaches. It was getting a little difficult to deal with too. Even so, he didn't particularly like the idea of cutting it, despite the fact that it still made him look more than a little feminine and hurt his head. He remembered that his mother and sister used to love playing with his hair, even though they had more than enough of their own. That's why he rarely cut it before, because his mother and sister liked it. So, he once again decided to forego cutting it and just deal with it. Besides, his mother's hair was at the very least a foot longer than his own, and she dealt with it just fine, surely he could too.

However, just a few days after he decided this, Kanda found himself in yet another battle. There were more lvl2's present than usual, that made this particular village that much more challenging. One with tentacle-like hands grabbed the end of his ponytail, so Kanda was left with no recourse but to cut his hair to save his life.

Later that night, after he'd evened out the ends, he once again inspected the length. It was an inch above his elbow, he'd lost at least five inches. He felt more than a bit vain dwelling on it, but he couldn't help himself. He felt like he'd cut off five inches of precious memories. And so, he stared at the ends and mourned every inch cut.

000

Things got complicated for Lavi in the seventh month. He was sent out on a long mission with Lenalee to some obscure city in Bulgaria that was supposed to having some sort of fountain of youth phenomenon occurring. With the exception of the ever-present Bookman, they were alone on the mission. This troubled Lavi greatly.

Thanks to Bookman and tens of acupuncture needles, and a bit of self-correction, Lavi had been cured of his former... "malady". He was still scolding himself for being so obsessive for any amount of time though. It didn't seem like the self-loathing would stop anytime soon though, as a lovely new development had occurred.

He really couldn't help himself, it seemed, he'd dug his own grave and now he was being buried in it. But was it his fault that they had such similarly shaped eyes? And surely no one could blame him for thinking that Kanda looked just a bit like Lenalee when he had his hair down. Their mannerisms and general personalities were miles apart, but there were so many similar qualities between the two. They both had that natural grace that made it seem like everything they did connected into one fluid motion. He wondered what Lenalee would look like if she ever scowled or glared.

He was absolutely beating himself up for it all though, he had no right to think that way about anyone, boy or girl. Besides, he realized that Lenalee was turning into a replacement and that just seemed so wrong to him, it didn't sit well with Lavi at all. So one day, when he could stand no more of his own horrible behavior, he asked Bookman to have him transferred to another mission, and practically begged for advice on this particular problem of his, because he was quite tired of feeling trite, along with other emotions. Bookman however, said that he couldn't stop Lavi's 15-year-old hormones from doing their job, and that it would be a while before he got over them.

Honoring his request and desire to stick to the Bookman way as much as possible, Bookman contacted Komui and had Lavi shipped to yet another obscure location. As he packed and left, he reminded himself that it was fine to feel things like physical desire, and other things he couldn't control. As long as he kept it at that, he was ok.

_You can look and record, but you can't do much more. Pull yourself together Lavi! 49 aliases before you did so you can too!_

000

In the eighth month, Kanda was assigned what he was sure was the cruelest mission he'd ever been on. Judging by the way Komui had apologized profusely as he was giving them their new temporary mission, he felt the same. For the time being, Kanda's team would be taken off the extermination mission, and sent to Hokkaido. Japan's population consisted mostly of akuma, but that only applied to the main island of Honshu. The other islands were much, much safer, though they still had their fair share of akuma to deal with. Kanda's family lived on the island of Hokkaido, which had suddenly experienced a spike in akuma attacks. The Order had promised him that if he became an exorcist for them, they wold protect his precious family from the Earl. It seemed as though for the time being, he would be that protection.

There was just one catch: He wasn't allowed to make contact with his family at all.

That had been his sacrifice, in order to keep the world his family lived in safe, he had to give them up. But why did he have to go back then? It was just plain cruel, to put him so close to his dear sister, annoying brother, and loving parents and make him watch over them when he couldn't talk to them! Kanda cursed his mission, and his choices.

They had their first brush with level threes, and though it took an exhausting battle to do, Daisya, Marie and Kanda eventually worked out a strategy that could defeat it. They had to use said strategy often. However, this was not the most prominent occurrence in their trip, as far as Kanda was concerned. No, of all the things that happened, only one incident stayed with him, and annoyed the hell out of him.

Kanda had been walking through his old home town, alone only because his teammates had gotten lost somehow. He didn't understand how they could get lost in such a small town, but then he wasn't thinking about the fact that he had lived there for most of his life.

He passed a familiar gate as he walked slowly through the town, only half-looking for his companions, they could take care of themselves fine without him. Kanda, however, was having a bit of a problem staying focused now that he was alone. There were too many memories and no one to keep him on task.

He stopped at the gate, bringing his hand up to let it rest on the name plate. In beautiful characters his family name was carved onto the wood. His fingers traveled over the carved lines, as his eyes strayed inside. It felt almost criminal, peaking into his own home, but he couldn't help himself. Inside, on the front pathway to the house, he could see Hayate clearing snow off the path; It had just stopped snowing earlier that morning. A small figure that he was sure was Naoko sat with a thin shawl wrapped around her small shoulders, as she watched Hayate to make sure he didn't goof off.

Kanda looked away, down onto the street.

"_Why don't you just go in? The Yuu I know would've._" Kanda turned quickly to face the person talking behind him. His first thought was "_Why is Lavi in Japan?_," Because Lavi was the only person who had dared to call him by his first name since he had joined the Order. He berated himself for thinking that as soon as he saw who it was though; He should've known it wasn't Lavi, the voice was completely different and the person spoke in fluent Japanese.

Kanda focused his glare on Yori, damning himself for being caught here by the likes of him.

"_Why I cannot enter is none of your business. And don't address me so familiarly, you lost that privilege."_ His mother language felt almost foreign on his tongue, and he hated it. Kanda decided that he would have to start speaking Japanese more often, and maybe teach someone else enough to talk to them in it.

"_Ah, I suppose you're right, how rude of me. You don't seem like my Yuu at all anyway. He seemed happy most of the time, and had a bit of a puppyish quality to him. No one would ever guess you were capable of that looking at you now. Though I must admit, you who have replaced my Yuu are quite beautiful, Kanda-san." _Yori took a strand of Kanda's hair, holding it in his palm for a moment before letting it slide through his fingers. Kanda's glare intensified as his lips twisted into a snarl. He was about to pull his fist back and punch the other, before thoroughly mauling him, but he heard his name being called by Daisya.

"_Your little friends are looking for you Kanda-san, I suggest you hurry back to them."_ Kanda didn't deign to respond, and instead just turned, satisfied when he heard his hair hit the other's face. There, if Yori wanted to feel it he could feel it whipping across his face. "_Heh, either way you'll always be my Yuu." _Kanda stopped in his tracks, allowing his hand to curl around Mugen, to stop his nails from breaking the skin of his palms.

"_Ass, if you've already had the last word, then there's no need to say anything more!" _Kanda growled out, before walking over to his group, trying to make himself look and feel as composed as he always was.

"_Baka Yuu... you just got the last word on me."_

000

Lavi found himself feeling much better in the ninth month. Bookman practically had him confined to the library, but in his opinion that was so much better than going half-crazy over oriental youths. He was calm now, feeling more like what he was- A Bookman- than he had in months. He liked the simplicity of nothingness, the world wasn't all that complex, if all he had to be was curious.

Of course, there was one thing he couldn't help but indulge himself in, and he was the only one who knew about it or was involved in it really, so he didn't feel like he had to worry about it. Lavi still found himself wandering to Kanda's room whenever he found he had the time. It had become a habit, and he figured there was no harm in keeping Kanda updated on the Tower's happenings.

Besides, there was something about the presence of that flower. The feeling of it seemed to have changed to him, it wasn't so oppressive any more. Now he was glad that the flower was there, instead of off with Kanda or non-existent. He didn't know how, but in some way this flower was connected to Yuu, so as long as it existed as it did now, Kanda was fine, right?

Lavi casually slipped into the usually vacant room, thinking that someone had to know by now that he was doing this, and that they obviously had the wrong impression or just didn't care enough to bother with him. Shutting the door silently, Lavi walked across the room and took up residence on Kanda's bed, it was much more comfortable to sit there than it was to stand and lean against the older boy's night stand.

"Man Yuu, you wouldn't believe how much that old panda is workin' me over lately..."

000

The tenth month was a painful one for Kanda. Painful and frightening at the same time.

It wasn't ever supposed to happen, because he and his group had worked out a way to destroy lvl3 akuma, it had worked every time. However, as soon as they had left Japan and touched down on the mainland, where they thought they'd have to deal with less frequent level 3 attacks, they were attacked at the harbor. Level 2's and 3's were everywhere, there was no where to hide from them. The trio had activated their innocence and fought valiantly, but there was only so much they could do before they felt themselves getting overwhelmed.

It was his fault, he felt, that it had happened. If he had just been quicker in warning Daisya or just moving to get him out of the way, his teammate wouldn't have been so seriously injured. They had found it hard to stick together during the battle, the akuma had slowly pried them all away from each other, they'd gotten in between the exorcists. It was only by chance that Daisya had come into Kanda's view, and when he had, Kanda had hardly spared him a glance because he was too busy fighting his own level 3 to do much else.

However, he did notice that a large level 2 akuma had started hovering behind Daisya's back. It slowly opened its mouth, far wider than anything with an intact jaw should be able to. Kanda immediately called out to warn the other, but the akuma struck just after he got Daisya's name out of his mouth. It had spit acid all over Daisya's back, and while the exorcist's uniform had protected the boy from the worst of it, enough of the lethal liquid had gotten through the material to burn his back, from the nape of his neck all the way down to his lower back. Daisya had immediately thrown off the soiled garment, but the damage had already been done.

Kanda was livid, because no akuma had any right to harm his comrades. He wanted the ability to destroy every damned soul he could see, and he wanted it now. Suddenly words were echoing through his head faster than he could comprehend and a voice that was not his, but one he recognized was answering the first voice just as quickly.

"_Do you want that power, though it will cost you more of your life?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Then take it." _

Commands ran through his head and into Mugen, which had split into two swords. These commands spilt from his mouth just as quickly.

"_Shouka, take from my life and rise, Kinki Sangenshiki!_" After that, almost faster than even he could realize, the battle was over, and he passed out from his wounds which for some reason hadn't healed during the fight.

Moreover, it took him a three days to recover, and four days after that before Bak, who had taken the group into the Asian branch, would allow him out of the hospital. That was the longest time it had taken him to heal since he'd gotten his curse, and he was quite worried about it. Maybe they wouldn't heal? Maybe this was the price he was paying for the power to save others? The power had felt so amazing but he was sure that if it was slowing down his ability to heal then it could not be anything good.

000

The beginning of the eleventh month caught Lavi in a panic. He had been unable to visit Kanda's room for a little over two weeks, due to numerous, pointless things that he felt he could've done without. When he'd finally gotten the chance to go back, he found he could do nothing but stand and stare at the hourglass. A second petal had fallen to join the first one.

Something about that scared Lavi more than any akuma ever had. Why had another petal fallen all of a sudden? The lotus and its case hadn't changed at all since he'd first seen it over a year before, so why now? What had happened to its owner? For the first time in months, he felt a foreboding feeling in Kanda's room, and ran out just as quicky as he had the first time he'd trespassed there. This time though, he had a destination, he was going to Komui's office, because surely Komui knew what was going on.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO HIM?" He shouted angrily, as he threw the office door open, startling its occupant. "What happened to Yuu?" Komui blinked a few times, startled by Lavi's entrance and fierce expression.

"Ho-how did you know? We haven't told anyone at this branch yet..." Komui asked, bewildered. He'd gotten a call from Bak over at the Asian headquarters, telling him that two of his exorcists were in critical condition, and that one would not be able to return to the battlefield any time soon.

"I don't care about that crap, just tell me what happened!" Lavi demanded, not understanding anything about his anger except for the fact that he was indeed, angry. Komui pushed his glasses up his nose, before deciding it would be best to explain things to Lavi while he was still calm enough to listen.

"There was an ambush, and during the fight Kanda and Daisya were both mortally wounded. Daisya's entire back was burnt by acid and until recently, he wasn't stable enough to move from the Asian branch to this one. Kanda's wounds healed after a week, and he apparently reached a new level of invocation. Their mission has been put on hold until we can send another exorcist to replace Daisya." Komui knew what was coming next, but he wasn't sure Bookman would like it; After all he'd been allowing Lavi to go on less and less missions as of late, for some reason or other.

"I'll replace him, send me. I'll go and help them finish their mission, so you can have Daisya brought here and treated, and I'll join their group." Komui sighed and nodded.

"I was planning to send you anyway. You'll see them soon, though you may have a hard time tracking Marie and Kanda down; Daisya is on his way here now, and Kanda and Marie had gone to continue their work in the mountains when he left the Asian branch."

Lavi breathed a sigh of relief, before thanking Komui quickly and leaving the room. He was relieved to know that Kanda was alive and well, but at the same time something about that fallen petal worried him. He tried to think happy thoughts as he packed for his mission. He should be excited right? He was finally going to see Yuu-chan again, after a year apart!

**notes! **

**In this, Saya says during month eight that Kanda and co. have their first run-in with lvl3s. Saya just wanted to let all of you who read the pre-altered version of chapters 6-7 know that Saya actually did go back and change the akuma in those chapters to a lvl2. **

**This was a ridiculously long chapter compared to Saya's usual 4000 words. Don't expect this to become a regular thing...ever. Saya considered adding the twelfth month to this chapter, but it had already gotten so long, and she would've had to cut it into two parts (this chapter and the next) when it really belongs all together. Consider this a White's day present! Happy White's day, even though it's not until tomorrow!**

**And Saya realizes all of Kanda's months are much longer than Lavi's, but that's just because he had a bit more going on, it's not favoritism, promise! (ok, maybe just a little bit...)**


	29. In All Seriousness

**Sorry about taking forever...But you guys are actually pretty lucky. Saya originally had two other stories to update before this one, but her friend NemutaiTsuki** **from dA caught her 10K and requested that this be updated. That made Saya want to cry, for quite a few reasons. So, without further adieu, their happy sparkly reunion time has come! **

**Saya owns the play but not the actors, they belong to Hoshino-ka.**

**Rated T... Because a kiss doesn't call for an M rating.** **Rating will get higher with the chapters.**

29. In All Seriousness

It was the first week of the twelfth month, and Kanda's birthday had come and passed without incident. Marie had given him a small present that he'd picked up sometime on their travels, and Kanda accepted it graciously after a particularly difficult battle. But then, after that accident with Daisya, everything seemed harder. His body suddenly didn't seem as strong. It wasn't that his strength had faded though, so much as his uneasiness was limiting him.

Of course, it wasn't just his own uncertainty that was making things more difficult for them. Marie still had some minor wounds to deal with around his fingers after using the Noel Organon for too long, which still agitated him whenever he invocated. Their team was down a person too, and their strategy didn't work as well without Daisya around, and Daisya's replacement had yet to reach them.

Kanda had been told by Komui two weeks before that a replacement had been sent, and it annoyed Kanda beyond belief to know that someone had taken so long to find them. Komui hadn't even told him who he was supposed to be looking for, but he supposed the exorcist's uniform would make them easy enough to spot.

Despite their slower clean-up rate, Kanda and Marie had managed to sweep through three cities in the two weeks since they'd left the Asian Branch. They waited with minimal patience for their replacement to arrive, and it was on the second Sunday of the twelfth month that a finder in a nearby village contacted them, sending word that they would be escorting the new exorcist to the village Kanda and Marie were currently residing in.

So, the Tiedoll team took refuge in an abandoned house that was still in fairly good condition and waited for Daisya's replacement to arrive. Kanda could think of many, many ways to punish the new-comer for being so late.

000

_I wonder if he knows I'm coming?_

Lavi found it hard to keep his excitement contained, which was evident in the extra bounce in his step, and the overly-hyper grin that adorned his face. His brilliant happiness was blinding Paul, the poor finder who was bringing him to Yuu. He hoped his appearance would be a surprise to Kanda.

It was getting really hard to keep his excitement levels down, he wondered what would happen if he just let himself go crazy with it. It was hard to maintain control when he hadn't seen his (self-proclaimed) best friend in so long. He wondered how much Kanda had changed over the past year. Lavi himself had changed quite a bit physically. He'd shot up a few inches, and his voice had taken a plunge down. His shoulders had grown broader and his hands and feet had grown too, making his hands seem a little too large to belong on his arms for a while, and making him get a little clumsy during the time it took for his height to catch up with his feet. His face had matured, and his eye now held the hard glint of someone who'd done his fair share of fighting.

Maybe Kanda had suddenly grown up too? Perhaps he had suddenly gotten masculine? Was that even possible? Did Kanda have the ability to look anything more definitive than androgynous? Lavi was sort of hoping for the second option. Maybe he just had strange tastes?

_Well, anyone who could find themselves attracted to someone as homicidal as Yuu, pretty boy or not, definitely has strange tastes. _

"Are we almost there Paul?" Lavi asked, feeling bad about pestering the finder so much, but at the same time not really caring because he was just too damn excited. Paul, patient as ever, nodded.

"Yes, it should be just over this next hill. I'm glad this village has almost been cleared of akuma otherwise we'd have a hell of a time getting through," Paul said, smiling. They walked the rest of the way to the village chatting over minor things. Lavi learned that Paul had accompanied Kanda on an earlier mission the year before. Lavi also learned that while on that mission with Paul, Kanda had spoken a little with Paul about dreams. Lavi felt rather guilty when hearing that Kanda had considered the dream visions he had nightmarish. He wondered if Kanda still thought of them that way.

"Well, thanks for bringin' me here, man am I glad I bumped into you!" Lavi said happily, shaking the finder's hand before they parted ways.

"My pleasure sir! Please send my regards to Sir Kanda and Marie."

"Will do." With that as a goodbye, Paul left Lavi at the doorstep of the exorcists' temporary home. Lavi knocked twice, but received no answer and, deciding that meant no one was home, let himself in. The smell of a simple meal made its way to his nose, so Lavi deduced that whoever was home had been too busy to open the door. The kitchen was the first place he popped into, for his suddenly empty-feeling stomach demanded it.

Inside was none other than Marie, cooking what looked to be pasta. Lavi mentally added an apron to the man's creation and found he couldn't quite hold in all his laughter. Marie turned, not looking the least bit surprised to find Lavi standing in his kitchen. He gave a small smile and a welcome.

"The bedrooms are upstairs, but there are only two. You'll have to room with Kanda. You can put your things upstairs and tell Kanda that supper will be finished in about half an hour." Marie said, knowing that Lavi was most likely eager to see his best friend (And possibly more? Who knew? Marie heard more than his fair share of ambiguous things between those two with his heightened hearing over the last few years.)

"Ah, thanks for the info," Lavi said cheerily, the devious grin growing on his lips made Marie almost feel sorry for Kanda. Lavi was quick to leave the room and climb the stairs. The room closest to the stairs was the first one he checked, and it was empty, so Lavi assumed it was Marie's. That meant the next one had to be Kanda's.

_Wow, so this is it. After a year of separation, I'll finally get to see my Yuu-chan again!_

Lavi had been working on his reflexes for a while, and he was confident that he could dodge any attack Kanda sent his way. Well, at least enough to save his life. Oh, how excited he was though! He felt like he'd been drinking Komui's coffee all day and it was only just starting to kick in. He stood outside the door for a moment, just basking in the excitement. Finally, when he could no longer stand the self-inflicted suspense, he took a chance and opened the door.

Lavi's jaw nearly hit the floor.

The colors of sunset streamed through the open window in a magnificent ruby shade, casting the figure in front of it into bloody shadows. Long ebony strands dyed red by the waning light fell out of their bindings with a quiet _sssh_ sound. Their owner looked over to the door, almond-shaped silver eyes wide with surprise, reflecting the sunset's colors.

Time and hardship had done nothing to lessen Kanda's beauty, of that much Lavi was sure. For a moment, the two just stood there, silently evaluating each other. Kanda had gotten taller, though he was still a fair deal shorter than Lavi. His shoulders had broadened a little too, but overall he still had that slim, lithe physique as before. His face had matured quite a bit though, especially around his eyes, they had become more pronounced, more beautiful. His hair was down to the waistband of his black slacks, slung loosely around his narrow hips; It was almost the same length it had been six months before.

And then, Lavi did it. Even he would admit regretting it, he hated how Kanda took away his ability to make a good first impression. He wished he could shove his foot in his mouth the minute the word left him. But alas, he couldn't help himself and said the stupidest thing possible.

"Woof."

That was how the spell that surrounded them was shattered into little pieces. Kanda blinked twice, before looking away, ever amazed by Lavi's stupidity, along with very embarrassed. He was sure Lavi would always be completely hopeless. Was he an idiot or something? One year apart and the most intelligent thing Lavi can think to say is that?! How hopeless could a human being get? To think that when he'd first saw Lavi, he'd almost thought the red head had grown up a bit! It must've been because Lavi looked smarter with his mouth shut.

Lavi felt himself choke on his own tongue for a moment, deciding that he must be the stupidest person on earth. Surely there was a way to quickly get over that last mistake...right?

"Er..It's been a while, huh?" Lavi wasn't exactly feeling intelligent at the moment. It wasn't his fault he was surprised! Yuu-chan had gotten to see him every time he went to the other's room, his appearance and voice and everything was no surprise to Kanda! But he hadn't gotten those helpful updates on Kanda, so the fact that he'd suddenly gotten even more ridiculously pretty was a bit of a shock! Who said Kanda could get gorgeous without Lavi around anyway?

"Been a while, yeah." Kanda was still stuck in his incredulity and disbelief, feeling incredibly awkward, though he didn't show it outwardly. He still had his long hair, yes, but aside from that he thought he was starting to look a little more masculine, a bit more like what he remembered his father looking like. It could just be that he had a different idea of manly. Or maybe Lavi was just into that sort of thing? Before Kanda had figured that Lavi was just picking on him for looking womanish, but it wouldn't really surprise him if he was wrong, because Lavi was confusing that way.

"Whoa! Your voice changed so much! Or do you have a cold?"

"I do not have a cold! Asshole!" Kanda finally turned his face back to Lavi, ready to yell and glare at Lavi, but instead his eyes widened almost comically as he tried to side-step Lavi's bear hug.

"Yay! Yuu-chan is still as cute and angry as ever! Wonderful! I was worried you'd get tame on me!"

"H-hey! Get offa me! I don't want yer damned hugs!"

"Oho, what_ do_ you want then?" Kanda bashed Lavi over the head for being so perverse so soon after meeting. Kanda spent the next few minutes feeling like the overly-excited Lavi was trying to squeeze his insides out, as he tried to stop himself from getting light-headed.

When Lavi finally calmed down, he did so rather quickly. He stopped all his fidgeting and stifled his stupid comments about how much Kanda had grown. He didn't let go of Kanda, though. The two sat on the floor together for a while, until Kanda started feeling very uncomfortable in the silence.

"Oi, Lavi, let go now, that's enough," Kanda said, bringing his hands to Lavi's shoulders so that he could push the other away, he'd been more than patient enough with all of this. Lavi just held on that much tighter. The fear he'd left the Order with that he had pushed down was resurfacing. He couldn't just tell Kanda that he had feared for his life though, because Lavi was sure Kanda would take insult to that.

"Stupid, of course it's enough for you who got to see me all the time, and who was too busy to think about anything but your mission, most likely. But I kinda missed ya, you know?"

Missed him? What was there to miss, Kanda wondered? His murderous impulses or his Ice King attitude? And even if the wording was casual, Lavi sounded so much more serious that Yuu remembered him being, it was too strange.

"Geez, don't say such serious things Lavi! Don't tell me you got sedate or something over the past year."

Lavi loosened his hold on the older boy, just a bit, but Kanda took this as a sign that Lavi had come to his senses. However, instead of letting go completely, Lavi brought his hand up to Kanda's cheek, gently pulling his face forward until their lips touched in a short, sweet kiss.

"That...was the goodbye kiss I didn't get to give you," Lavi said simply, quietly, as though someone was hanging on his every word and he didn't want them to hear. Then he pulled Kanda to him again, this time for a more lasting kiss, and Kanda was left stunned and not quite sure what to do with himself.

This all seemed different from before, Lavi seemed different from before. This was serious, much more so than the stolen kisses of the year before. Different, but not in a wrong way, maybe, but in a strange way that Yuu wasn't sure he could accept. This seriousness was alien to him, and not knowing what else to do when Lavi was finished with him, Kanda did the first and worst thing that came to his mind.

He ran.

He ran straight out of the room, jumped down the staircase, and within seconds was out of the house completely. He didn't bother to look where he was going, or remember what path he was taking or anything, he just tore out of there like the devil was on his heels.

_Serious! So serious! I don't think I can take this... It was one thing when he seemed to be joking the entire time but when he acts like he means it...!_

The world "serious" played over and over in his mind. Sure, Kanda had expected Lavi to pull something, but he'd expected that something to be more like a joke. The Lavi from before had acted like everything was a game, even the Lavi he'd seen in his dreams over the past year had been happy and dopy, always telling him about the pranks he pulled, about the stupid things Komui did to "protect" Lenalee, and he complained in jest over the work that Bookman had him do. Rarely was that Lavi ever serious, and whenever he was, it was a different kind of serious than he had been in his dreams before; He wasn't scrounging around for information on Kanda anymore, and if he was he'd gotten smart enough not to let onto it.

But, to his horror, Kanda realized that over the last year, any time Lavi had gotten serious in his dreams, it had been the same kind of seriousness as he'd displayed just now. Every once in a while he'd say something in earnest that just unnerved Kanda for some reason.

Kanda decided to stop running when he realized just how stupid he was being. He was near a row of trees that were crowded near the edge of the village. He recognized this place, it wasn't too far from his temporary home. He had probably just run in a straight line and taken a lot of right turns. Well, at least he wasn't lost, not to say he could get lost in such a small village. Still, the akuma in this village hadn't been completely eradicated yet, so being outside alone like this was dangerous, especially because he'd forgotten to grab Mugen on his way out. It was stupid of him, yes, but he was so used to having it on his hip that it hadn't even occurred to him that he didn't have it with him.

Kanda groaned, annoyed with his own stupidity. He'd run away from Lavi, of all people, he'd fled from the house without any explanation to Marie, and he had forgotten to bring his innocence with him while in a place that had quite a few akuma lurking around. Kanda turned to the nearest tree and started hitting his head on it.

"I. Am. So. Stupid!" He said, punctuating every word by hitting his head on the tree trunk. Once he felt good and concussed, Kanda got around to thinking about what to do next. He'd feel quite stupid to just return to the house now, after running out of it so dramatically, but at the same time, he knew he'd really be as stupid as he felt if he just wandered around without his innocence like a sitting duck. The least he could do was get out of the open.

With getting out of clear sight as his first priority, Kanda started to climb the tree he'd just abused with his forehead. He used to hide in trees a lot when he was younger, usually when he was avoiding Hayate. As far as he knew, Hayate never found out about his hiding spot, and if he did, he had the decency to pretend he'd never caught on. Every once in while, he'd climb up there just to talk alone with his then-friend, Yori. Naturally, he'd gotten out of the habit of climbing after things went awry.

He seated himself in a branch that was about half-way up the total height of the tree, the leaves hid him well, though he could still see the area around him. He soon found himself rather glad that he had taken shelter, for the downpour that the lead sky had alluded to finally came. The leaves kept most of the water off of him, and his long hair covered his back completely, catching whatever reached him.

He couldn't help but think, now that he was here and alone and facing the problem, about the strangely different sides of Lavi he had seen. There was the day-to-day normal Lavi he remembered, who annoyed him and kissed him and acted like he had every right to do so. Who made everything a game or a challenge and got to Kanda in such an annoying but familiar way, but who was the Lavi Kanda preferred over the others.

But then there was the honest and sincere Lavi from just a little while ago, who acted as though what he did had_ meaning_. While Kanda knew he should probably either be disgusted by that or flattered by the sincerity, he couldn't bring himself to be anything more than nervous. There was the "Bookman" Lavi too, who scared Yuu with his need for knowledge and his determination to unravel Kanda's secrets.

Which one was real, and which two were fakes? Maybe they were all fake, but each had a touch of truth to them? Maybe they were just separate parts of Lavi's personality? Somehow, each idea seemed possible and at the same time wrong, somehow. And he had this distressing thought stuck in the back of his head that the Bookman Lavi was the real one and everything else was absolutely fake. He supposed that would be a good thing, because then even the sincere Lavi couldn't be taken seriously, and Kanda would have nothing to trouble himself with. On the other hand, it would piss him off beyond belief to think that he really was just some heartless bastard's plaything.

Kanda sighed into the rain, wondering how much longer he intended to brood out here. It was going to get dark soon and if he wasn't mistaken Marie had been cooking when he left, if he stayed out much longer he'd miss it. He'd get soaked to the bone if he walked home in this rain though.

God must've been sympathizing with his need to stay dry and get food, for a moment later, he heard a familiar voice calling his first name from the base of the tree he'd climbed.

"Yuu-chan, dinner's gonna get cold if we don't get home soon." Kanda looked down at Lavi almost hesitantly, not wanting to know which Lavi he'd end up facing. There was a 2 to 1 chance that he wouldn't like the one he saw, not the best odds. When he did look down, he was relieved to see that the Lavi smiling up at him was looking as goofy as ever. Lavi's smile was teasing and bright, just the way it should be.

Kanda shrugged, forgetting everything he'd just been pondering up until then in favor of swinging down the tree. Lavi had his exorcist's coat and Mugen in his hands, though now that Lavi was here with his own innocence, Mugen wasn't really needed. Still, Kanda was glad he brought it, just because his sword made him feel that much more secure. He took Mugen first, putting it through the loop of his belt, where it belonged. Then his vision temporarily went dark, as Lavi threw his coat over his head.

"It's rainin' cats and dogs, so use that to stay dry," Lavi said, adjusting the coat over Kanda's head, still smiling as though nothing had happened earlier, as if the last _year _hadn't happened. Kanda looked away and pulled the coat off his head and over his shoulders, pulling his hair over the coat's collar a bit, just enough to let him move his head without pulling on it uncomfortably.

Lavi didn't say a thing about how Kanda had run out of the house, didn't bring up the fact that Kanda had run from _him_. Instead he just went on about how good Marie's cooking smelt, and how funny it would be to see such a big, tough-looking guy cooking in a pink apron, like the one's Jerry's kitchen staff used. Kanda told Lavi he'd better not tell Marie about that idea, because there was a fifty-fifty chance of Marie actually humoring him and wearing an apron, but there was also a fifty-fifty chance of him withholding Lavi's meals for a week. The second had happened to Daisya, who'd actually brought an apron home for Marie once. Marie did end up wearing the apron once though, for Daisya's birthday.

By the end of the little apron story, the two had made it back to the house.

000

Lavi was his usual self all through dinner. He could hardly remember the last time he felt so in character. He joked over pasta, complimented Marie's cooking skills with excess vigor, and teased Kanda in ways that only the reclusive samurai would pick up on, and get angry over. It was refreshing to know that he could still get on Kanda's nerves with just a few words.

Still, all through dinner he couldn't help but wonder why Kanda had actually run away earlier. He wouldn't go as far as to say it hurt his nonexistent feelings or anything, but still, it was a curious thing. Kanda didn't usually run from anything, especially not Lavi. He was more apt to beat the living daylights out of a person than he was to run away from them. Then again he had been acting weird, and Kanda had never taken it very well whenever Lavi broke out of his current character.

He wondered about the way he'd acted, too. Sure, he'd admit to missing the older boy, but that was just ridiculous. To get so serious? Like he was almost actually feeling something? It was very unlike every side of him. Oh, this really wouldn't do, Lavi was going to end up very annoyed with himself all over again at this rate. What he needed was to get back into being the old Lavi that he had been when he first came to the Order, when he first met Kanda and everything was just a game. Because he had no problem with himself then, but he did now.

They'd be sharing a room while they were in this village, Lavi and Kanda would. The room Kanda had taken had two twin-sized beds in it, while Marie had taken the room with one large one in it. The room had hand-drawn pictures all over the walls, desks for studying, and children's books hidden away in the corners; Obviously, the room they were sleeping in now had once belonged to two siblings. Two siblings that had either been turned into akuma or turned into dust. Two siblings that Kanda and Marie had probably taken down themselves, or watched die. Lavi couldn't help but wonder how constantly sleeping in dead people's rooms –rooms that still looked lived in, that had been until recently– had affected Marie and Kanda.

Lavi shook his head and tried to concentrate on the day's log he was supposed to be working on; The old panda would get at him if he slacked off on this mission.

Kanda wasn't asleep yet either, he was behind Lavi but the red head knew anyway, because Kanda's conscious presence was something that could be felt, somehow. Yuu's stare held a lot of weight too, the raven hair was practically boring holes into his back.

"My back that interestin' or are you just that bored?" Lavi asked, without turning around. He didn't get an answer, just an annoyed huff.

After a moment though, Kanda muttered: "Can't sleep with the light on." Lavi nodded, understanding; He couldn't either.

"I'll be done in a minute. Want a good night kiss, Yuu-chan?" Lavi teased, earning an accurately thrown pillow to the back of the head.

"Die. Die and stop calling me that."

"I'll take that as a yes." Lavi closed his log book, and put it away along with his pen; It was the one Kanda had given him for his last birthday. He picked up the pillow Kanda had thrown at him, bringing it back to the noticeably sleepy samurai. Yuu promptly used the returned pillow to block Lavi's good night kiss. Lavi fake-pouted a bit, but just chose to say another cheery good night before crawling into bed himself.

**Ack...lame ending...and after being away for so long... Oh well...so that was their reunion folks, hope you enjoyed it and that it wasn't what you expected.** **Oh, and all that stuff Lavi was thinking about not feeling anything was just pure denial...**


	30. Q&A Session

**Ack! Sorry for taking forever! It was unintentional, Saya promises! Eeeh...it's taking so long to update lately, Saya hopes that summer can fix that for a while, at least. Geez, things got so impossibly slow after New Years, Saya doesn't know why...**

**Saya owns the play but not the actors, they belong to Hoshino-ka.**

**Rated T... Because a kiss doesn't call for an M rating.** **Rating will get higher with the chapters.**

30. Q&A Session

Lavi found that he'd fit right into the Tiedoll team's daily schedule. They'd had a system for just about everything, from battle techniques to housework. While Daisya was gone and without a replacement, Kanda had taken over the brunette's duties without a word, and Marie didn't feel the need to pry and ask for his reason, though he could guess. He was to blame for Daisya getting so horribly injured, after all (though Marie tried to convince Kanda otherwise).

Now that Lavi was with them, it would seem he was to take over those duties, which only made sense, of course. Lavi had been told by a listless Kanda what he was expected to do, and where he would work into their usual attacks. Marie told him how to do his chores around the house (or any house they would occupy in the future), and all and all Lavi found himself thinking that for a bunch of teenagers, the three had been very self-sufficient and almost a bit strict with themselves.

Lavi couldn't help but feel that he'd be quite at home in a group that ran on schedules, structure had always been his friend. Of course, whether or not "Lavi" would enjoy the routine was another matter entirely. Still, he figured his current character would probably be a little more mature than to complain during his first few nights staying with the group.

He also didn't think it would be a good idea to start asking questions the moment he arrived, either. Still, they did need to be asked, so Lavi decided on a time that their little schedule would oblige him with the time to talk. It was after dinner, while Kanda was clearing the table of leftovers and Marie started washing the dishes that Lavi would dry, that he decided to get to work and ask about how their mission had gone over the past year.

"So, now that this village is clean, we've got a night of downtime before leavin' for the next, right?" Lavi started off the conversation in a perfectly normal way, it only made sense that as a new comer to this mission he would ask questions about it.

"Yes, we'll be leaving tomorrow, but for tonight we'll be resting," Marie replied kindly.

"We will not be slacking off at all though," Kanda said with a hard tone, obviously suspecting that the redhead would want to laze about for an extra day or something. He'd seen the panda beat Lavi for his lackluster work ethic, it was a perfectly normal conclusion to come to.

Lavi huffed indignantly and crossed his arms over his chest. "Geez Yuu, can your opinion of me get any lower?"

"I doubt it."

"...At least you're honest. But really, I just wanted to know 'cause I figured as long as we had a night to relax, we might as well talk together or somethin'."

Kanda peered over his shoulder and looked toward Lavi from his position in front of an open cabin, as he put a dried dish away. He sure as hell hoped that Lavi wasn't suggesting anything along the lines of _male bonding. _Lavi turned to give Kanda another plate to put away, and noticed the look.

"What's with the suspicious look, Yuu-chan?" Why did Lavi feel like he was eternally the bad guy in Kanda's eyes? Really, the older boy just couldn't stop accusing him with his eyes, could he? Lavi hadn't even done anything slightly suspicious for over an hour! Then again, maybe that was the reason Kanda was looking at him strangely?

"I'll need you to specify what exactly it is you feel the need to talk about, before I decide whether or not to sit around and bare with it." Kanda took the plate from Lavi and stored it away. Nodding to the question, Lavi walked back to the drying wrack near the sink and picked up a new plate before answering.

"I wanna know about what's been goin' on this past year. Bookman said in some less simplistic terms that the few reports you guys sent in sucked and lacked detail. I doubt there was much to say about such a repetitive mission, but the ol' panda's all about bein' thorough and gettin' as much information as possible." Lavi sounded like he personally couldn't care less, and was only bothering to ask for the details to save his hide. Kanda found it a bit shocking that Lavi was actually intending to speak about something work-related, and decided that maybe Lavi had grown up a bit after all. Only a little, though.

"So yes, if you two would please relay anything you remember about the last year to me, It'd be most appreciated," Lavi said with a half-forced smile that belied his true fear of Bookman's flying kicks. Marie finished the last dish and sat down at the table again.

"Well, as you've said, it was repetitive, there really isn't much to tell," Marie said. It was obvious he was going to be the cooperative one here, as Lavi had expected him to be. Lavi wondered if a man who was usually so quiet felt comfortable knowing that he'd probably be speaking all night. Oh well, heartless as the sentiment was, that wasn't Lavi's problem.

"The mission packet we received was pretty accurate when it came to estimated populations and such. We stumbled upon a few villages that hadn't been mentioned too, but they were filled with low-level akuma. We just went from place-to-place doing what we've been doing here. There really isn't anything more to it, unfortunately." Lavi nodded understandingly, for over the past few days he'd realized just how tediously remedial the entire thing was. He wondered how people kept their sanity when doing such a task that would impair one's ability to tell one day from another.

Lavi finished drying and handed the last few dishes to Kanda before sitting with Marie at the table. Kanda was the last to join them when everything was put away.

Despite how both exorcists of the original team had initially said that there wasn't much to say, they did end up having a rather lengthy discussion, with the older exorcists giving Lavi any random details from their mission that they remembered, and at the same time trying (and failing) to keep events in chronological order. Lavi committed everything they said to memory, and decided he could put everything in order in his mind later, because these two sure as hell couldn't keep the dates straight, and he couldn't blame them.

It became late, and chores had long since been done. The three had moved from the kitchen to the living room, which Lavi had to admit was rather comfortable; This house's previous owners had good taste. Lavi mentally blanched when remembering that this house was indeed owned by the dead, but at the same time could not simply pretend that Kanda and Marie had been the only ones to ever live there, because bookmen didn't ignore facts for their own sakes.

It was at this time, a little after sundown, that Lavi decided it would be ok to start in on the subject that Bookman really wanted to know about, as well as Lavi.

"So, Komui said that your group was assigned to Japan a few months back, right? I haven't heard much about that, care to share?" Lavi was quickly shown that this indeed wasn't the time to bring up the subject, and that there probably never would be a good time to bring it up around Kanda. The raven-haired boy quickly stood up, and without saying a word stalked from the room, his steps sounding just a bit louder than usual as he ascended the stairs. Lavi and Marie both winced at the display of discomfort masked with anger.

After a moment of awkward silence, Lavi spoke again, an apology this time.

"Sorry...I figured this would be a sore subject from him, but I did needed to ask about it eventually." Marie nodded in understanding, casting a worried look toward the staircase.

"It's all right, it is your job after all. It probably seemed like the Order was torturing him at the time, though. I can see why he's so upset about it..." Lavi made a sympathetic face, as if he actually understood the pain of seeing one's beloved family and not being able to speak to them.

"He was brought into the Order willingly because they said they'd protect his family, but I don't think he ever thought they'd put that temptation in front of him..." Suddenly, the usually calm and kind Marie's face showed a bit of the anger and bitter hatred of the Order that Lavi was sure every exorcist had in them. "Willingly..._right_. No one ever joins this Order willingly...Coercion, bribery, blackmail, maybe, but never free will." Lavi wondered which one had brought Marie to the Order. While reading the Order's records, he found that they never were very specific about that; at most they would say "brought peacefully" or "taken with force."

The man snapped out of his revelry and apologized before starting his story about what happened in Japan.

000

Kanda could be found in his room, sitting with his legs folded under him on his bed, with one arm hanging out the window and the other lying on the sill, acting as a cushion for his head. He listlessly stared out the window, into the inky black night that surrounded him. He wished Lavi hadn't reminded him of his trip home, it was painful and aggravating for so many reasons. His eyes fell closed for a moment, before he heard the door open, heavy footsteps following soon after.

He felt the surface of his mattress shift under him, and knew that Lavi was coming close to him. Kanda wondered if it would be acceptable for him to jump out of the window. He wish he had taken the chance to escape when he felt Lavi's chest against his back, one arm wrapping around his waist, the other going out the window to meet his, so that Lavi's hand could hang by his own.

Kanda couldn't exactly move away, as he was between Lavi and the window, so he decided instead to just pretend he didn't care that there was a redhead wrapped around him.

Lavi's fingers were moving, Kanda realized, for the boy's fingers brushed against his hand once or twice, though Lavi's arm wasn't moving. Then the hand came toward his, and while Kanda made no move to look and see what he was doing, he payed attention to what he could feel around his hand. Something smooth and a bit warm touched the tip of his longest finger, but then Lavi mumbled something about that being wrong (for he was looking over Kanda's shoulder in order to see what he was doing), and moved over one finger before slipping the warm metal ring down Kanda's ring finger. When he felt it slip on and registered what it was, Kanda finally decided to look down.

"What the...?"

"Missed your birthday this year Yuu, couldn't think of what to get ya either. Something practical would suit you best, but what could I get you that the Order couldn't, yeah? The only thing that you've ever shown interest in is swordsmanship too, what could I do with that? So, all that was left was to give ya somethin' with a little meaning behind it." Lavi chuckled an added as an after-thought, "Maybe you would've preferred my scarf though?"

Kanda listened to everything Lavi said for he hadn't much choice, the other was speaking into his ear in a low, smooth tone that seemed to be part of Lavi's voice now. It made him want to blush and bite Lavi's head off at the same time, so he hid his face in the crook of his elbow before either impulse could be known. Goodness, could Lavi even hear himself right now? Sounding like he'd put so much thought into the choice and then maybe he did, but still. And why a ring? Why his ring finger? It wasn't like they were married, or together, or even in love. Of course they weren't, God wouldn't allow that in his own Order.

Kanda wasn't alone in his musings, for even as he questioned Lavi's actions, Lavi did too. What on Earth _was _he saying, anyway? Acting like some love-struck fool, giving his friend a goddamned _ring _for his birthday. It was so stupid, because not only was it very against his personal code of conduct, but also because no matter how long he was away from Bookman, his mentor would notice it right away when they got back, that one of the rings he'd started wearing sometime over the last year had suddenly ended up on Kanda's finger.

"... You're stupid," was all Kanda could say, in the face of this situation. Goodness, what Kanda wouldn't do for a peak into Lavi's brain, he'd really like to know why the hell Lavi did such things.

"I know that a lot better than you do, trust me." Because oh, was this a foolish thing for a Bookman to do. Even if he was just playing around and stringing the other boy along, it was still always dangerous to play these games. _What happens when they stop being games?_ He wondered.

It took a lot of patient waiting on Kanda's part to not push away from the window and get Lavi off his back before the boy moved himself. Kanda moved away from the window as soon as he could, and watched after Lavi as the boy removed himself from Kanda's bed, making sure that the other had no intention of moving back onto it. When Kanda had his personal space back to himself, he left the window sill and moved to grab a book off the night stand. He'd gotten much better at reading, seeing as it was about all there was to do whenever they had any downtime for the past year. It was one of the very few ways he could release his mind from the confines of dead people's rooms.

Lavi went to work on his logs, though it was a bit early for him to do so. He figured he could ask Kanda about the Japan trip when he finished writing down what he'd learned that day, to make it seem like he needed that information to finish the day's log. Well, he really did need the information, but it wasn't such an urgent matter that he needed it today. But Marie had said something that had made Lavi a little more curious about Yuu's side of the story. Kanda had gotten separated from the group during their trip to Kanda's home. Just what could've happened during that hour or so they'd been apart? Did Kanda's resolve to stick to the rules crumble in a moment of weakness, when no one was looking?

Finally, when Lavi could not squeeze another detail about the day out of his brain, he turned around in his chair to stare at Kanda until the other boy realized that he was indeed staring. Kanda was trying his best to pretend that Lavi wasn't there, the redhead could tell because Kanda had pulled the book he was reading much closer to his face than necessary, as if trying to block out his presence. Finally though, the boy snapped.

"_What_?"

"Believe me when I say I've been avoidin' it Yuu-chan, but I can't really do that anymore. So, I'm gonna need you to tell me about what happened with you when you went to Japan." The glare Lavi received for saying that was so venomous that for a moment Lavi was sure he was staring down a basilisk and not his friend. Kanda moved to leave the room, but Lavi had predicted he'd do so and was blocking Kanda's path before the boy's feet even hit the floor.

"No, no, Yuu. You must face your troubles head-on, you mustn't run away. So no tryin' to escape."

"I'm retreating, not running."

"None of that either. Now si'down, we're discussing your Japan trip." Lavi could see that even though Kanda was putting on his usual angry front, he was in a bit of genuine pain at the thought of speaking about home. "...If it helps make it easier, just talk about it like you're reading events off a calender or a story that isn't your own."

Kanda didn't seem to appreciate the show of sympathy, for he once again moved to leave, this time perfectly intending to push past the cultural mutt. Lavi had seen that coming too though, and instead pushed Kanda back. Yuu just stopped his head from hitting the walls of the corner of the room. Before he could even sit upright, Lavi crawled over him and happily made himself at home on Kanda's mid-section. Kanda glared again, this one withering and resigned.

"... How is it that at times you can be so positively, disgustingly _sweet _that I want to punch you, and then later you can be a pushy little bastard whom I still want to punch?" Kanda asked, rhetorically.

"It's a special skill. Now anyway...start from the beginning." Kanda looked away from Lavi and huffed petulantly, refusing to speak. Lavi raised an eyebrow to the display of refusal, and went to work thinking of what he could say or do that would get Kanda to speak. Playing nice would probably work best, seeing as their topic of conversation was extremely unwelcome on Kanda's end. No use getting the boy more worked up than he was bound to get anyway. Still, what could he do...? Maybe it would be better to ask Kanda that question.

"Ok, how about this? I'll do whatever you want me to, in exchange for you telling me about that mission. Seriously, tell me to stop callin' ya Yuu-chan, and I'll switch to Kanda-san, though the very thought chills me. I'll shut the hell up and not bother you for an entire week, or even jump out the window if you say to. But you've gotta hold up your end of the deal first, of course." Kanda gave Lavi an incredulous look, though it was quite obvious he was seriously considering making Lavi dive off the roof.

"...Only if you promise to keep up your end of the bargain." Kanda had few questions he wanted answers for, and well, Lavi was offering, whether he realized it or not. Lavi nodded obligingly, with a little sarcastic smile.

"Promise Yuu-chan. Ya need a pinky promise to be sure?" Kanda slugged him for that one, though because of their current position, it didn't have much force behind it. As he rubbed his cheek, he implored Kanda to start talking.

"Nothing of any interest happened there. We went, were told to protect the town, and fought lvl3's for the first time. We worked out a strategy on how to defeat them efficiently. We stayed there for a little under 2 months, until the akuma population in the town and surrounding villages was zero. We went back to the main land after that, and got attacked at the harbor. We were together almost all the time, so Marie's story would be the same as mine." Indeed, he was correct. Yuu's short summary of the events that took place were pretty much a paraphrase of Marie's words, except there was one little detail missing.

"True, you were together _almost _all the time. Marie informed me though, that there was a day when he and Daisya got separated from you, and it took them hours to find you again. He even said that when they did find you, you were talking with someone in front of what was apparently your old residence. So I couldn't really help but wonder, did Yuu-chan break the rules? I won't tell anyone if ya did, promise, and at most the only other person 'sides us who'll ever know about it is Bookman. You can tell me, I won't taddle."

Kanda damned Marie for his attention to detail, and for remembering all of that. He couldn't just say "We got lost and found Kanda later," could he? Of course not, and now Lavi was on his case about it. Kanda hadn't even done anything, really, at least it wasn't anything he wasn't allowed to do. He had wanted to visit his family, oh had he wanted to, but he had been raised to follow the rules set for him, even if it sometimes hurt to do so.

He turned his face from Lavi again, wishing he hadn't agreed to this. He could've gotten his answers his own way, maybe he could've given Lavi a taste of his own medicine and pestered them out of the younger boy, or he could've just threatened like he always did.

"... Nothing happened. Maybe that's hard for you to believe, but it's true. I never entered my home, I just looked in. And we never would've gotten separated if those two hadn't gotten lost, it wasn't like I ran away." Lavi couldn't help but believe Kanda when he said that with so much regret on his face. He regretted sticking to protocol, he regretted not taking the opportunity afforded to him.

"I see, I see. So then, who was the person you were tallkin' to?" Lavi moved onto the next subject the way a teenage girl would move from one topic of gossip to another. Kanda's mood moved from the realm of Regret and into Anger's territory.

"It was that asshole Yori! God, I should've cut his damned hand off when I-"

"-Wait, Yori? As in your ol' best pal? Ya got to see him again? That's nice, and it's perfectly fine in the Order's book, they aren't really specific 'bout friends and stuff." Kanda looked at Lavi incredulously, wondering if Lavi had completely missed the "cut his damned hand off" part of his answer.

Lavi was just thinking that Kanda was always violent with friends.

"...What? You're lookin' at me like I just said you shook hands with the devil or somethin'."

"Are you an idiot?"

"There you go again, acting like there's something_ wrong_ with that."

Kanda covered his face with his hand, and shook his head. This was getting annoying, there was nothing else he wanted to talk about, and even if there was, he would really rather that Lavi got the hell off of him.

"Are you quite done?"

"One more thing and I'll be done, promise."

"Get to it."

"What happened between the two of you while you were there? I mean, you did just say you wanted to cut his hand off." So Lavi _had _realized that wasn't normal.

Kanda huffed at the memory, feeling as angry as if Yori was still right there, with a lock of Yuu's hair sliding through his fingers. "He just asked me why I wouldn't go into my old home. And then got annoying."

"You mean grabby? I mean 'cause if you wanna cut his hand off, he musta been touchin' somethin' he wasn't supposed to be touchin'." This time Kanda put effort into punching Lavi hard.

"He's a hell of a lot more decent than you, I'll give him that much," Kanda said grudgingly, as if not wanting to say anything to the betterment of Yori, but at the same time wanting to make it clear that not everyone in the world liked to grope him the way a certain redhead did.

Lavi, tactful as ever, decided that this would be an excellent time to prove Kanda's point. A shit-eating grin plastered itself on his face, as he switched into his teasing mode. His hands traveled up and down Kanda's front and sides, fingers playing with the hem of his shirt when in that area. He was looking at Kanda with a challenge in his eyes, daring him to do something about his lascivious behavior. It was a challenge Kanda was glad to meet. He quickly sat up, and while for a moment it seemed like Kanda was going to retaliate in a fashion similar to Lavi's own, the redhead soon learned that wasn't the case, as he was pushed backward off the bed.

"All right, that's enough of that, you miscreant. Now it's your turn to hold up your end of the deal. You said you'd do whatever I wanted, right?" The moment he nodded, Lavi started fearing for his life. Kanda suddenly looked very evil from where he was, laying on the floor and looking up at Kanda, who was looming over him like a warlord who was about to slay him.

"You'd better make good on your promise then."

"I will, just please don't kill me." Kanda raised an eyebrow at the suggestion, as if the idea had never crossed his mind (it had). Still, God only knew what would happen to him if he really had Lavi do something ridiculously dangerous.

Scoffing at the redhead's cowardice, Kanda sat back down on the edge of his bed.

"I don't want you to kill yourself, I just want answers." Answers? Lavi could give answers, depending on the subject matter, that is. But what could Kanda possibly want to ask him that he couldn't give an honest response to?

"Ok then Yuu-chan, fire away. I'll answer to the best of my abilities." Kanda had the distinct feeling that his obliging mood would change as soon as he started asking questions.

"You'd better."

"I will."

There was a moment of silence, because while Kanda was practically dying to ask now that he had the chance, and Lavi was starting to really question whether or not he'd actually be able to answer Kanda's questions truthfully, neither of them really knew how to start off an interrogation.

"I want to know..." Kanda started, deciding that there really was no other way to do this than to be straight-forward, "If the person I'm looking at right now is real."

Lavi couldn't answer that question.

**Sorry for the forever update...Saya sucks so much...she knows. But it's here, and so is summer, which means faster updates, hopefully! **


	31. Remember to Feel Real

**Ack...ok, this was on rush-order because Saya's good friend (and the person who's practically Saya's LTI alarm clock) was going away today and Saya wanted to get this out for her before she left. Hopefully, Saya was on time. Oh, and the title is a song by Armor for Sleep. Ok... and start!**

**Saya owns the play but not the actors, they belong to Hoshino-ka.**

**Rated T... Because a kiss doesn't call for an M rating.** **Rating will get higher with the chapters.**

31. Remember to Feel Real

"I want to know... if the person I'm looking at right now is real."

Lavi didn't know what to say in the face of this question. He should've anticipated this, he _had_ anticipated that it would come eventually, but he was still completely bowled over by it. He knew what Kanda meant by real, he knew that Kanda had some inkling as to just how fake "Lavi" was, but he had really hoped that Kanda wouldn't care enough to ask. Kanda never cared, so that didn't seem like so much to hope for up until now. Then again, with the way Lavi was still playing games with him like this, it was only natural that Kanda wanted to know something about the redhead who had been pestering him since the day they met (and, maybe, had been winning him over bit by bit).

Still, he couldn't actually answer that honestly, and at the same time he had promised he'd answer honestly. But wait, since when did he keep promises? Bookmen moved all over the places and interacted with all sorts of people, he'd made promises left and right while using other names, and he'd inevitably broken most, if not all of them. So why should he feel inclined to answer truthfully now?

Because Kanda would know he was lying, of course. Kanda's piercing glare said that he would. Yuu had a penchant for knowing such things. Lavi really hated that about the other boy.

But the question was still how to answer. Lavi could just play dumb and act as though he'd misunderstood Kanda, or he could just say "Sorry, that's classified," which would be equivalent to saying "Why yes, I am living a lie, but I can't tell you that directly." He supposed he'd just have to play dumb, though he knew Kanda would see right through it. He didn't see why Yuu was asking this anyway if he already knew the answer, or thought he knew.

"What'cha talkin' about Yuu-chan? O'course I'm real, you can see me and feel me being crushed under your foot right now, can't ya?" Lavi asked, eyeing the foot that was firmly placed on his sternum. Kanda glared at him, pressing down with his foot just a bit more.

"Don't shit me, you know what I mean. I can't help but think that some part of you has to be fake. The you from those visions is far too different from the person you always are in front of everyone else." Lavi sighed, knowing that his little mistake was going to come up eventually. It was his fault, he was the one who had continually gone into Yuu's room, even though Kanda had already said he'd seen Lavi in there during his dreams. Lavi had sort of given himself away, now he was paying for it.

"Yuu, that was over a year ago, you realize," Lavi pointed out, as though he was suggesting that in the past year he'd somehow changed his real personality and his circumstances. Kanda raised an eyebrow, wondering what difference that made.

"People change," Lavi pointed out, continuing with this idea seeing as the pressure to his chest had yet to escalate again. Kanda scoffed.

"And what, pre tell, could've warranted someone who was completely unfeeling and heartless turning into this?" Kanda used his other foot to kick at Lavi's side to emphasize his point. "It'd take something pretty damn dramatic to make a Bookman get a heart, wouldn't it?"

Wait a minute. Kanda wasn't supposed to know about the "Bookmen have no hearts" thing, was he? People weren't supposed to know that at all because it would compromise the entire point of taking on a deceiving personality. Lavi didn't recall saying anything about it either, and if Lavi didn't remember saying something, then he obviously hadn't said it.

Kanda's eyebrows raised in a surprised expression. "What? Don't tell me I was right. I didn't realize your facial expressions were so honest. Speculation can get one a long way, I suppose."

Huh? So...Kanda had just been throwing ideas out just then? So he hadn't been sure of what he was saying, and yet he'd just acted as though he was sure it was a truth? And Lavi had fallen for it? Lavi brought a hand up to his face, trying to feel the surprised expression he hadn't intended to make. Well shit, he was doing a great job of digging his own grave.

Something about Lavi's continually surprised expression seemed to be annoying Kanda. He supposed he should've felt a bit superior for actually being right. He'd had a year to think about all of this, after all, and had come to the conclusion that chances were, someone as cold as Lavi had been in his dreams probably didn't really care about the people around him. But people weren't just born emotionless and thirsty for information, something had to make them that way.

So Kanda came to a conclusion based on Lavi's personalities, Bookman's personality (which was just about as unfeeling as the Bookman Lavi's had been), and their circumstances. Bookmen only cared about their books, they only cared about history and information, and had no room in their hearts for anything else. Lavi had thrown him off a bit with the unexpectedly earnest greeting and the ring, but his persistence on learning about what happened while Kanda was in Japan had reminded Yuu about his little theory.

But to be right about it...! He would never admit it, not even to himself, but Kanda had rather hoped that Lavi would do something to prove him wrong. It was slightly painful to know that this person didn't really care about anyone. (Well, it was a bit more than slightly painful, because there had actually been times when Kanda had believed some of the things Lavi said. Kanda would never admit that though, not even to himself.)

Lavi had to think fast, before the damage couldn't be undone. His mouth came up with an excuse before his mind could.

"What the hell? Yuu, I know ya don't think highly of me, but callin' me heartless is just plain vicious. I think I have a right to look a bit surprised and affronted," Lavi said, twisting his expression into an insulted one. He wondered if he could turn the tables on Yuu by pretending to be angry (or at least upset) over the accusation.

"Really Yuu-chan, just because someone has their moments doesn't mean that they don't care." Kanda shrugged and nodded to the side, agreeing with what Lavi was saying, though he was obviously of the opinion that none of this applied to Lavi.

"You sure have a lot of those moments then, don't you?" Kanda said, wondering what Lavi would try next. The genuine surprise he'd seen in Lavi's eye had not been because Kanda had _dared_ to call the redhead heartless, it had been because he was right. "They last for a while too. Seems like you have hours, rather than moments."

Lavi was starting to get genuinely annoyed, both with Yuu and with himself for ever letting this happen. What the hell did Kanda want him to do? Spill all of the secrets of his clan? Because Lavi felt this was working its way in that general direction. Kanda was probably going to want to know why Lavi was supposedly heartless next, and then he'd want to know what Lavi was getting at by messing around like this with him, and then Lavi would have to run for his life because Yuu would not take kindly to being told he was just a nice distraction.

Actually though, Kanda really didn't care about Lavi's reasons why, he was just looking for a straight yes-or-no answer to his original question.

"Yuu," Lavi sighed out with a bit of irritation, as he pushed Kanda's foot off his chest. Things seemed a bit backwards at the moment, with Lavi being the annoyed one, and Kanda acting like a cat who was playing with a mouse. "What the hell do you want me to say?"

"I just want to hear the truth."

"And what do you think the truth is? Because you obviously seem to think you know it." Lavi waited for an answer with a mix of dread and expectancy. He was wondering just how close Kanda was to the truth, because he sounded almost dead-on before.

"It's not that I know for sure so much as I have a theory about it. I have had an entire year to think about it, but I'm not stupid enough to think I'm right when I don't have any real proof."

"Gee Yuu, I'm flattered to hear ya thought about me, but I just wish you'd been a bit more positive in your thinking..." Lavi sighed, feeling a bit more like "Lavi" now that he'd broken up some of the tension with a joke. Kanda looked silently indignant for a moment, obviously wanting to deny having thought of Lavi at all.

"That's hardly the point here. Now spill the beans, you made a promise to. And get off the damned floor, unless you want me to kick you." Lavi, realizing that he was indeed still on the floor, hurried to get up and sit on his own bed. He didn't want to be particularly close to Yuu at the moment.

"Yuu, everyone has their own way of shielding themselves, ok? That includes me." That one might just fly, because it was something the impossibly cold Yuu Kanda would have to understand. Because he did the same thing, after all, he kept people at arms' length because he didn't want to trust someone and then get hurt by them. If Kanda just thought that Lavi was using smiles instead of cold words, then maybe he would leave well enough alone and not ask any further.

Kanda seemed to consider this for a moment, and Lavi thought he might've gotten it right this time. Kanda gave Lavi another piercing glare, as if he would be able to see past all deceptions if he just looked at Lavi with enough intensity. Lavi hoped that he couldn't.

"That makes sense on some level, but it doesn't seem right," Kanda said, shooting Lavi's hopes down. "And it wouldn't explain why you seemed so desperate for information. I mean, it's one thing to be curious, and it's another thing to act as though nothing else in the world exists beyond what it is you want to know."

"So I'm a little single-minded when it comes to learning things, I'm a Bookman-in-training, that's kind of a necessary quality," Lavi said, shrugging that off. Plenty of people concentrated when they wanted to learn, that was normal.

"But that doesn't explain why you were so unfeeling at the same time. One would expect a person like you to act excited, even if you were concentrating, but you just...weren't." Kanda really couldn't explain the feeling he'd gotten from Lavi, but he was just sure that Lavi's true nature was cold, and that the "Lavi" everyone knew was more like a second skin.

"I think," Yuu continued on, watching Lavi closely for any indication that he might be right. "I think that the one I saw in those visions last year was the real you, or at least that Lavi was a lot more real than this happy-go-lucky one. I think the person you show everyone is a front you're using to achieve something...and it's not some self-protection device. At least it doesn't feel like it is. I think your fake persona has to do with your association with Bookman, and that's about all I felt was safe to assume."

Well, Lavi was quite glad that Yuu had chosen to stop there. He hadn't realized Kanda was so good at putting things together accurately. Honestly, he'd figured that the older boy just couldn't care less and didn't bother to pay attention when he didn't need to. Seems he was wrong, and he really wish he hadn't been.

On an off note, he figured that Kanda must be a master at solving jigsaw puzzles.

But at least with this, Lavi could make up a good reason as to why he was the way he was, a reason that would conform to Kanda's theory. He wouldn't have to say a thing about actually being heartless, and he wouldn't have to say a thing about it being a code of the Bookman to be that way. Hell, if he did this right, he could probably make himself seem like a rather sensitive soul. Well, ok, that might be pushing it.

Deciding it was worth putting the extra effort into acting, Lavi sighed dejectedly to get the ball rolling. He looked down to his left, resting his chin in his palm, partially covering his mouth with his fingers. He did his best to look pained, and he also made sure that by showing Yuu the side of his face that was covered with his eyepatch, he made himself look emotionally vulnerable and at the same time stopped Yuu from trying to detect lies in his eye.

"Look, you know I'm a Bookman, right? I've practically been raised this way," Lavi started, giving Kanda vague information that he was perfectly allowed to give away. "We constantly go from one war-torn country to the next. It's depressing, to say the least, and it kills to always see people in pain and not be able to really help them." There was a shred of truth in that. It had shocked and hurt Lavi at first, when he'd been younger and was unprepared for such sights. It wasn't that he was actually unable to help though, it was just that it was his duty as a Bookman to step back and let it all happen.

"I..." Lavi strained his voice, made it sound like he was starting to get choked up just thinking about it. "It felt like I was going to be torn apart by my own damned helplessness...One day Bookman just said "If it hurts so much, stop feeling altogether," and so I did, 'cause it seemed to work for him." Oh, he was on a roll. Lavi wondered if it would be pushing it to fake some tears.

"Being cold and detached is just kind of what worked... Concentrating on my duties and my curiosity filled the void caused by not feeling. But you can't function well in my line of work that way, so I pretend to be nice to get what I need. Are you happy now Yuu? Ya got it out of me, you got what you wanted."

Kanda, for his part, was still unsure of whether or not this was the truth. It did explain everything, but he couldn't really see Lavi's face because of the eyepatch and the redhead's bangs, so he wasn't sure whether or not he could trust this explanation. He decided that he'd just accept this as truth for the moment, unless Lavi did something stupid and highly over-dramatic like crying. Then it would obviously be an act that Lavi was trying hard to make seem real. But then again, the story didn't matter, because Lavi had just admitted that his outward self was fake.

"...No, I'm not. I can't prove that it's not true though. I find it annoyingly difficult to trust what you say, and it makes me wonder if I can trust you to have my back in battle...This is troublesome." Kanda sighed deeply and shook his head, before pulling his legs back onto his bed and turning to face the wall opposite to him. "I can't be bothered with this now, it seems like a pointless venture anyway," Kanda said in lieu of a proper surrender, and flopped back onto his pillow. Only it couldn't really be called a flop, because Kanda Yuu did not flop, and he even fell back too gracefully for it to really be considered flopping.

Lavi inwardly sighed to himself; Maybe Yuu didn't really believe him, but at least he'd given up for the night. Lavi flopped back on his own bed, and his was a genuine flop, complete with extra bouncing when he landed and a content sigh.

"You're such a skeptic Yuu-chan, you should try trustin' what people say a bit more," Lavi said, as he reached out to turn off the lamp that sat on the night stand between them. Kanda flipped him the bird just before the light flickered out.

"Sweet dreams, Yuu-chan."

"Stop calling me that, asshole."

000

The next day, the three packed up and moved out for their next destination. Lavi made his usual friendly conversation with Marie (it was rather one-sided, with Marie saying just enough to keep things going), and Kanda watching closely, observing the observer. But even as he watched, Kanda knew it was pointless. Lavi didn't normally slip up, Kanda had caught him off-guard the night before, and Lavi hadn't known that Kanda could see him, all those times that he'd snuck into Yuu's room.

But now that Kanda had gotten a (rather dubious) confession out of Lavi, he was starting to really realize just what a seamless actor the guy was. Fake smiles and words that should've been sincere came so easily, Kanda wondered how Lavi could do that without blanching. Kanda would probably kill himself if he ever acted so fake. He sort of wanted to kick Lavi for doing it so well and getting away with it.

But before he could commit such a random act of violence against his begrudged comrade, he found himself saddled with another question. If Lavi had sealed off his emotions for one reason or other, and it didn't really matter how or why, then what was Lavi doing, acting so especially close to him? If Lavi was trying to function like a normal person, then he should've hit on Lenalee more. Not that Lavi didn't do that plenty enough, Kanda was sure, but still, he shouldn't be so focused on another guy if he was just trying to act like a normal person.

And there had been those few times, here and there, where Lavi had seemed very serious about the things he said and did to Kanda. When Lavi had seen him again for the first time in a year, and just the night before with that ring, he'd seemed rather sincere, and that had thrown Kanda for a loop. So why was someone who was supposed to be faking all forms of emotion being so...however the hell he was being? Kanda didn't feel like identifying it, he didn't want to know.

It didn't add up in Kanda's mind. Surely he hadn't done anything particularly special that would break Lavi's shell and make the redhead open up to him. Hell, that was the last thing Kanda wanted, he just wanted the redhead to stay a respectable distance away from him, but stay close enough for him to protect. Kanda had taken Lavi as his responsibility, after all, and maybe if Lavi knew that he really would have a reason to be close to Kanda, but Kanda had no intentions of saying a word about it. There was no way Komui would tell him either...right? At least not until he absolutely had to.

Lavi's conversation with Marie eventually died off when the three of them reached the next town in the mountain valley, which was currently untouched by akuma. From there, they'd get a ride to the next town and save themselves a bit of walking. Besides, the quicker they reached their destination, the better.

"Wow Yuu-chan, kinda odd to see ya laggin' behind for once. I'd expect you to walk in front of us slowly walking, chatting folks," Lavi commented, slowing his steps to match Kanda's. Kanda wished he hadn't because now he had to deal with the redhead and the problems he'd caused.

"I doesn't matter," Kanda said with a bit of a huff. He wished Lavi would go back to talking with Marie, but the oldest man had already gone to find them a suitable mode of transportation to their next destination, which seemed to be some ways away. Kanda didn't much like trains because they were too bumpy and crowded and noisy, but he had a feeling that's what they'd be taking to their next town. That was sort of like the crappy icing on top of his crappy day cake. And Kanda didn't even like cake, so that just made it worse.

"Awe, is Yuu-chan feeling down?" Lavi asked with a most annoyingly patronizing tone. Kanda had to count to about fifty before he was calm enough to speak without swearing or just plain beating Lavi.

"Stop calling me that," Kanda snapped. He didn't like being called that by Lavi in the first place, and now this was clearly someone he didn't know, so now it was only insulting and even more annoying that it was originally.

"Mmmph..." Lavi whined, though his face showed none of his supposed displeasure. He attempted to casually slip his arm around Kanda's shoulders, but nearly had his arm broken in the process. "My Yuu-chan is so mean to me..."

Kanda sputtered indignantly. Since when had he been Lavi's anything? He just wanted the damned kid to leave him alone and not die, at least until Kanda got that woman to reverse whatever it was she'd done to them. Besides, he didn't belong to anyone, he never had, never would!

"_Either way you'll always be my Yuu."_

No! He hadn't belonged to anyone ever, and he would never be called anyone's Yuu again!

"You know, when you make a face like that, it's hard to tell if you're blushing because you're embarrassed, or if you're flushed with anger," Lavi pointed out, apparently he found this to be more important than his completely inappropriate remarks about Kanda.

"I-I'm pissed, _naturally_, you ass. I don't even know you and you have the gall to call me by my first name and say such off-the-mark things! Get away from me, shoo, I don't want to deal with the likes of you," Kanda said with a disgruntled voice, shooing Lavi away with his hand. As hurt as Lavi was by the "I don't know you" comment, he still found the indignant face and the little shooing motion to be absolutely adorable, and instead of walking away dejectedly, he gave Kanda a bear-hug.

"Wh-what the hell?! Let me go you bastard!" Kanda said, a little shaken by the sudden contact. He pushed against Lavi's chest, trying to get the other away, but even he had to admit that his attempts to free himself were rather feeble. This was questionable. Kanda would have to ponder the meaning of this later, once he was free of this damned hug.

Lavi pulled the struggling boy closer, slightly surprised by the weak resistence. "Awe, Yuu-chan's so cute sometimes!" Hr gushed, and his hug started to get uncomfortably tight for poor Kanda, who was getting all but smothered by the younger boy's coat.

"Get the hell off of me!" Kanda demanded a little louder than the first time. Lavi just patted Kanda's head as if he were praising a good pet.

"What's so wrong with wanting to hug my cute Yuu-chan?" Why was Lavi saying that? Was he out to annoy Kanda that much? He didn't want to hear it! He was no one's anything, so this idiot needed to get away from him and stop calling him that! Once again finding his true strength to resist, Kanda landed a solid punch to Lavi's gut, which got the younger boy to let him go with a pained grunt.

Kanda stormed away from Lavi to catch up with Marie again, and a moment later Lavi joined them, acting as though nothing had happened. Really though, he was quite curious now. Kanda hadn't said anything, and it was perfectly normal for him to get angry at Lavi, but it felt as though his annoyance could be contributed to something specific this time, and not just Lavi's general invasion of his space and usual overly-familiarity.

Maybe it was the hugging in a public place, where people could see them and mistake Kanda for an under-developed girl being hugged by a lover, or something? That seemed plenty possible. But if that were the case, Kanda would seem more embarrassed, and he just seemed pissed at the moment. It could've been addressing Kanda as "my Yuu-chan," too, after all Yuu seemed to consider him a stranger now (which really sort of sucked, for some reason), and not only did Lavi have no right to call him by his first name, but the possessive pronoun was probably taking it a bit far. Perhaps it was time for Lavi to tone things down a bit, before Kanda really killed him or something.

"Ah, sorry Yuu-chan, guess it's about time I grow up and stop actin' all clingy," Lavi apologized, in an unusual show of humility. Kanda raised an eyebrow, wondering what this was all about. Still, his annoyance seemed to dim, so Lavi decided that all was well. Kanda didn't deign to respond, but it felt as though things had gone back to normal, somewhat.

And yet, it didn't feel like things would ever really be normal for them again. At th very least, their "normal" would change.

**Saya hopes this little rush-order came out ok...she's really worried for missed spelling errors and stuff 'cause she hasn't done a rush-job since she stopped the whole one-chapter-a-day thing. And of course, Saya's hoping the all-over quality hasn't been lowered. There's been a bit of a regression in their relationship in this chapter, but all obstacles will be overcome eventually.**


	32. Junior

**Ah...Saya just wanted to work on this story. LaviYuu love is streaming through her veins! And this chapter deviates a bit from the usual...but enjoy it anyway?**

**Saya owns the play but not the actors, they belong to Hoshino-ka.**

**Rated T... Because a kiss doesn't call for an M rating.** **Rating will get higher with the chapters.**

32. Junior

By the time August rolled around, Lavi had gotten quite sick of being treated like a stranger whenever he and Kanda weren't on the battlefield. It was down right aggravating! Obviously, Kanda cooperated with him while they fought because their lives were at stake and coordination and teamwork were key, but when it came time for them to return to whatever temporary home they were staying in, Kanda was completely cold to him, he hardly even bothered to look his way.

And those few times that Kanda did look at Lavi, well, they made him wish the older boy would just overlook his existence completely. No matter what Kanda's current expression was, be it stony and blank or furious and enraged, or even relaxed (wish was becoming increasingly rare, Lavi noted), his eyes were always the same. Always, always, there was anger, anger that poorly masked feelings of disappointment, confusion, and most painful of all, betrayal.

Lavi could perfectly understand why Kanda was feeling such things, but that didn't make it any easier for him to deal with. Lavi had not come all the way from the Black Order to Kanda's group, just so that he could be ignored. Of course, his official reason had nothing to do with Kanda at all, he was just a fill-in, of course. Still, his personal goal had definitely not been to royally screw things up between himself and Kanda.

Faintly, Lavi wondered why he cared. He wasn't supposed to, not at all. So what if Kanda didn't like him? He never had in the first place. What difference did it make that Kanda was ignoring him in earnest now? Lavi was just a Bookman, and Kanda was his subject of study, nothing more and nothing less. Just because Lavi acted like there was more didn't necessarily mean there was. There couldn't be, really. Everything Lavi did was meaningless, everything except for his Bookman duty of recording history. That was the way things had to be for him.

But that brought up the question all over again; If none of this meant anything, then why did it hurt to be ignored?

Lavi sighed loudly as he fell back onto the "bed" that was currently his. This was perhaps the fifth town they'd been to since Lavi had joined them, and he had to say that even he was impressed by their progress. Moreover, he'd taken the liberty of marking off all the places the group had already cleaned, and found that there was only a handful of places left in the original dossier that their group hadn't gone to.

Their current residence was in a small, poor little village, and as such, the house itself was very small. The house had all of three rooms, a kitchen, a living room, and one bedroom. Marie was a bit too large for the small couches in the living room, and so he ended up in the only bedroom, with Kanda and Lavi staying in the living room.

That, Lavi thought, was perfect. It would be easier for him to patch things up with Kanda if they were forced to share a room. He supposed he should be wondering why he needed to try and fix anything, but instead of thinking about it, he pushed such questions to the very back of his mind.

Night settled in, and Marie retired to his room, leaving the two younger boys in a tense silence. Kanda was quite ready to excuse himself and sleep on the kitchen floor if he had to, just to escape this odd silence, and the off feeling he got when rooming with this stranger.

"Hey Yuu," Lavi called from the long couch he was laying on. He didn't bother looking at Kanda, he knew that nothing had changed since earlier that day.

No answer came from the loveseat on the other side of the room.

"Yuu-chan." Again, no response.

"Yuuuuuuuu-chan." The silence was grating on Lavi's nerves. Cringing at the ceiling, Lavi mentally prepared himself to say the one thing that he knew would get Kanda's attention. It was the only way he could get Kanda to communicate with him at all these days. The colder Kanda got towards him, the harder it was to provoke the boy into answering him. Lavi was starting to realize just how comparatively kind and tolerant Kanda had been to him before.

"Kanda."

"What is it?" The response was immediate, and left Lavi feeling more annoyed that before. Lavi really hated calling Kanda that. It was his name, sure, and there was nothing wrong with it, it was an integral part of Yuu's identity, but Lavi had never called Kanda that before, it had always been some variation of his given name. It had made Lavi unique, that he could call Kanda that and not get killed. Oh sure, Kanda said he would skin him one day for it, but that hadn't quite happened yet, so in essence, Kanda had allowed him to get away with it. That made Lavi special, and who didn't like to be special?

But now...Now Kanda was making it clear that Lavi was just as insignificant to him as anyone else, and that really, really got to Lavi in a way that it shouldn't have.

"When the hell do you intend to stop treating me like a stranger?" Lavi asked bluntly. He was quite tired of this whole deal.

"Oh, I don't know... maybe when you bother to start acting like your real self so that I can officially meet this person and maybe, if he's lucky, acknowledge him," Kanda said with an overly-bright, uncharacteristic and clearly mocking voice, as though this were a novel idea he was coming up with. Lavi could practically hear Kanda's revulsion towards his own act.

"Easier said than done," Lavi replied. At this point, since Kanda already knew about his real self's existence, Lavi realized that it would not hurt his case any to actually show Kanda that side of himself. As long as Kanda never learned the real reason behind it, and as long as Bookman never found out about any of this, it would be ok.

Still, it was difficult for Lavi to actually shed his second skin in front of anyone. When he was alone, all pretenses dropped like a rock but when there were other people around, it felt unnatural to _not_ lie and act fake. Bookman was the only exception to this, of course, but then again, Bookman didn't really give off a human aura. Being in a room with him was like being in a room with a robot, he gave off this sort of cold feeling most of the time. Lavi had to admit though, because his aura was that of an inanimate object, it was fairly easy to lose his persona around his mentor.

Kanda however, was the exact opposite of the old panda, in that respect. Even though his attitude was cold, his aura was positively _scalding_. Lavi hadn't understood it at first, but as time wore on he realized that it was because Kanda's cold attitude was nothing more than something he used to contain his fiery emotions. Numerous battles made it apparent that Kanda was actually a pretty passionate guy, he just bottled it up and released it when he fought. Even as he ignored Lavi's very existence, he did it with a passion.

"...Easier said than done, hm? Well, I suppose I can see that," Kanda replied after much deliberation on wether or not he should show such understanding. Because he did understand, a little too well, in his opinion. Faintly, he realized that he was better at keeping his real self hidden that Lavi was. It was at times like these that he was glad for that.

Why did things like this always seem to happen to him anyway? He seemed to have horrible taste in friends, and he didn't even want them in the first place! But even so, once they had wormed their way into his life, he hoped they'd stay, was that too much to ask? It seemed so. Every time someone decided they were his friend, they always screwed him over in the end. And once they decided they were his _best _friend, well, that just sent alarms off in his head. Just another reason to stay away from people, in his opinion.

Kanda turned toward the couch and felt himself curl up, convincing himself that it was just more comfortable to do that on the small couch.

Finally, after much hard thinking, Lavi came to a decision. He was going to try. He would get his head bashed in if Bookman ever found out, but he needed to be in Kanda's good graces. For research purposes, of course, naturally that was why. So slowly, Lavi peeled away his false persona, wondering all the while if this was really a good idea. After all, it was "Lavi" that cared about Kanda, and once he was gone, then perhaps the Bookman in him would only make things worse. It was very possible, because his heartless side didn't care about anyone, so why would he try to make things any better? He would need to leave just enough of "Lavi" on to prevent anything too bad from happening.

Kanda heard the creaking of the other couch, and figured Lavi was just moving around. When he heard Lavi's feet hit the floor, he figured Lavi was just getting up for some water or something. When he felt a finger gently poking his shoulder, he figured Lavi had a death wish.

"Oi, what do you-" Kanda turned his head to glare at Lavi, but stopped mid-sentence when he saw him. The person staring down at him was definitely not Lavi. This person looked like Lavi yes, with his messy orange hair, the ever-present eyepatch, and emerald green eye, but this person was not Lavi. That usually bright eye had a cold, flat look to it at the moment, and his face was set into a nearly blank expression, with nothing but the slight curl of his lips disrupting the smooth blankness.

"Good evening, Kanda. My name is Lavi, though most call me junior. I'm a Bookman-to-be, and a rather emotionless prick, if I do say so myself. I believe you were saying you'd like to meet me?"

Kanda blinked. Once, then twice, before wondering what the hell was going on. While yes, Kanda had indeed said that he'd like to "meet" the real Lavi, he hadn't exactly expected to be confronted by him like this. Hadn't Lavi just said that acting like himself was easier said that done? For such a difficult transformation, it happened rather quickly.

And moreover, was Kanda supposed to play along with this? Was he supposed to act as though he'd never met this person before or something? True, he never really had met _this_ Lavi himself, but he would also feel quite foolish acting as though he didn't know this person, when he was so used to talking to and being around "Lavi", who had this person's same face and voice.

Kanda decided he'd just call him Junior to make it easy to differentiate between the real and the fake, and figured that for now he'd just cooperate; This was what he'd said he wanted, after all. Besides, Kanda wanted this thing resolved fast so that he could sleep.

"Care to join me for a walk?" Junior asked. He himself didn't even look too interested in the idea, and Kanda certainly wasn't interested in leaving his place on the couch. He glared over his shoulder in obvious refusal.

It would seem though that Junior was even harder to deter than Lavi was. He was also significantly more forceful too, because even though Kanda's glare stood as a definite refusal, Junior grabbed his upper arm and yanked him off of the couch anyway. Kanda was a little put off by this. While Lavi also had his ways of getting people to do what he wanted, he tended to be a bit more...gentler in his ways. If anything, he was more coercive, whereas Junior seemed to have no problem using plain, unmasked force to get Kanda to do what he wanted.

Kanda had quick enough reflexes to twist and bring his legs out under him so that he wouldn't end up sprawled on the floor, and was quickly pulled up from his crouching position by Junior. Kanda gave him a cold look, before Junior's grip moved from his upper arm to his wrist, and he was led out of the house.

Even though it was the summer, it was fairly cool where they were, and Kanda wished he had a sweater, or his coat with him as they walked outside. His sleeveless shirt did little to protect him against the chilly wind.

"Why the hell did we need to come outside?" Kanda asked angrily, wishing he were back inside where it was comfortably warm.

"Marie's ears are too sharp, he'd be able to hear us if we were inside, or too close to the house," Junior answered flatly. His voice held no feeling or expression. Kanda was already wondering if a person could be this emotionless. "You can know about me, but only you. Moreover, you can't tell anyone else you know, got that?" His voice was still devoid of emotion, but Kanda was familiar enough with threats to realize that this was one. He nodded silently.

"Good." The two walked on in a stiff silence. Kanda felt somewhat like a hostage as he was all but dragged down the dirt path.

"You can let go of my wrist now," Kanda said, not wanting to admit that Junior's hold was a bit stronger than expected, and a bit too tight to be comfortable.

"If I do that, what guarantee is there that you won't run off?" Junior asked, looking at Kanda sideways. "You tend to either get angry and attack or get upset and run off any time "Lavi's" personality suddenly changes. You don't cope well with change. I'd say in this case, you're more likely to run off."

Kanda looked a bit affronted by this statement. He didn't get upset and run off every time Lavi did a 180. He might not take it well, but certainly he didn't run away...

"Don't bother denying it. You ran away from home the day "Lavi" came to meet your group, feeling panicked and confused."

...Ok, so Kanda had done that all of once, that didn't mean Junior could just assume that's what he always did.

"And all those times I visited your room when you were gone-"Kanda noted that Junior had referred to himself in first person this time, rather that calling himself "Lavi" like he had before. "-my appearance then really freaked you out, didn't it? You were livid when you found me, and at first I just thought you were pissed about the general invasion of privacy, but I've come to realize that more than anything, you were troubled by the way I acted, I was so out of character then. You were afraid.

"That time in the hospital too, on your 15th birthday, you couldn't do anything at the time, but for the moment I showed myself, I could tell you were panicked and wanted to run. But you couldn't then, so instead you lashed out at me. There were other times too. Really, it hurts to know your first instinct is always to run from me." Somehow, those words didn't seem sincere to Kanda. Maybe it was the lackluster tone Junior used while saying them, or maybe it was the sarcastic eye-roll that clued Kanda into the fact that it did not really hurt Junior to be pushed away.

"Shut up, I don't need you telling me about myself," Kanda snapped, he didn't like feeling like he was being analyzed.

"Hm, right, this isn't about you anyway, I already know plenty about you. You're supposed to be hearing about me, I suppose. Not that there's much to tell..." _Not like there's much I can say..._

As Junior started to state little facts about himself and slowly work his way up to bigger ones, Kanda listened intently, but feigned disinterest.

000

A few towns later, Kanda still found himself being pulled out of bed every night by Junior, and being all but forced to walk with him. He found it quite confusing really. During the day he dealt with Lavi, and during the night with Junior. Honestly, compared to Junior, Lavi was a blessing, and his changed view of Junior's false persona showed in his slightly warmer actions toward the boy. While he was far from being kind to Lavi, at the very least he wasn't ignoring him so adamantly anymore. On the other hand, Kanda found himself wishing he could ignore Junior, who simply wouldn't allow him to.

If Marie was privy to the fact that the two of them were sneaking out of the house on a nightly basis, he didn't say it. However, the knowing glances he sometimes gave Kanda and Lavi when they were together suggested that he had completely misunderstood what was going on between them. Kanda really wished he could explain the situation, but he found himself wary of setting off Junior by doing so.

Junior had a temper, and didn't seem to have any qualms with harming the people close to him. Not only that, but during the few times Kanda had provoked him into showing some form of emotion, he found that even enraged, Junior was cold and detached, like he just really couldn't care less if he hurt Kanda or anyone else. It was rather unnerving, because even though Kanda too tended to lash out at people who annoyed him, he at least felt something when he hurt them.

Slowly, Kanda was learning how to deal with Bookman Junior. He was also learning that if he asked the right questions, if he said the right things, then Junior would suddenly start giving answers that seemed more suited to Lavi. That was a little confusing, really. If Junior was Lavi's real self, then what was going on? Was he just slipping up because he was so used to being Lavi? Or was it that maybe Lavi was slowly becoming more real too? Maybe Lavi was nothing more than one huge ball of confusion who couldn't keep his multiple personalities straight?

Kanda decided that he probably wasn't the only one confused here, and took solace in that.

"You know, all of these weeks that you've been pulling me out of bed to talk, the only thing you've never talked about is the Bookman Clan. You've never said anything beyond the fact that you're a part of it," Kanda said one evening. That wasn't strictly true actually, because Junior never talked about the reasons for his second personality either. This just made Kanda feel sure that Junior's heartless disposition had more to do with Bookman than Lavi had originally said. Still, Kanda was determined not to care about the reason behind it.

"'Only Bookman can talk about Bookman,' is what my master would say to that. I'm only an apprentice, and as such I have no right to divulge any information about the clan," Junior said automatically, as though it were a built-in response to questions about the clan. Kanda nodded once to show understanding. Every organization had secrets, so it was only natural that an organization that dealt with the world's secret history would keep its own inner workings secret.

"In that case, it would seem that you've run out of things to say for tonight," Kanda said, considering the silence that they had been walking in for a while now. He didn't really want to be out any more (he hadn't wanted to be out at all, really), but if they were going to walk around aimlessly like this, Kanda would rather at least pretend that they had a reason for doing so.

"You could always attempt to find some topic of conversation, you know," Junior pointed out.

"I just did, and as you just said, it can't be spoken about."

"Then talk about yourself some, it's hardly fair that you've got me out here every night telling you my life story." Kanda turned to glare at Junior, his hands twitching towards Mugen, which he refused to leave at home.

"Excuse me but, _you're _the one who drags _me _out of bed every night. If you don't want to do this, then you can stop yanking me out of bed the moment Marie goes to sleep every night."

"Ah, but it is so fun to annoy the crap out of you every night. I could live for this, really."

Another response that was more suited to Lavi that Junior. Kanda peered at the other boy from under his bangs, wondering if Junior has somehow regressed back into Lavi for just a moment. Unfortunately, because of the paranoia that was ingrained into all exorcists, multiple personalities or none, Kanda was on Junior's right, and therefore he couldn't see most of the boy's face. But from what he could see, he could tell that the corners of the other's lips were turned up just so, he was teasing but he wasn't quite Lavi.

"You're an ass, no matter which "you" you are," Kanda said with a disgruntled huff. Why was it that the moment they started talking about him, Lavi and Junior meshed together to form some strange mix of both? Kanda sort of felt like he was the key to _something_ important, but he wasn't so sure he wanted to be.

"I'll take that as a compliment, Yuu-chan."

"Again," Kanda wanted to say. It was only now that Junior-Lavi...whoever the hell this was- said his given name that Kanda realized how long it had been since he'd heard someone say it. It was only then he realized that he almost (it wasn't almost at all, really, but Kanda was trapped in furious denial) missed being called that by this person, whoever he was. He felt weak and foolish just thinking that way.

"But anyway, while we're on the subject of you," Junior was back in full force now, Kanda could tell by the flat voice that wasn't quite enough to cover up his growing curiosity. "I've been just dying to ask you about that flower in your room."

Kanda stiffened at this, he didn't want to talk about that, especially not with this person, who was always so pushy and forceful.

"I can't speak about that," Kanda said, as though it were truth. While there was no rule that said he couldn't, really Kanda just wouldn't say a thing. He didn't want to, especially because now more than ever he felt ashamed of the decisions he'd made that had led to him procuring that lotus hourglass. He'd sold his soul to a devil, for someone he didn't really know at the time.

"Why can't you?" Junior asked, turning his head to look questioningly at Kanda.

"I will die if I do." _Die of supreme embarrassment._

"You'll die?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Indeed."

"You suck at lying." Kanda glared at Junior with all the intensity of Hell. He turned on his heal and started to head back to the house. Junior quickly followed, grabbing Kanda's arm the moment he was close enough to stop him. Kanda wondered if the younger boy was making a point of always grabbing the same spot, because he was sure that if it weren't for his quick healing, he would have bruises from Junior's tight grip.

"Let me go," Kanda commanded, trying to keep his voice calm and even.

"No, I want to know what I want to know, and one of these days you will tell me about it, so you might as well make today that day."

"It's night," Kanda pointed out, though it didn't make a difference, he knew. He realized he was denying the devil here, but he was determined to not say a thing. He winced imperceptibly as Junior's grip grew tighter, and he was turned around and made to face the other.

"I don't care. Anyway, I doubt the reason you have it is as embarrassing or as shameful as you seem to think. You're probably making a big deal out of nothing, the same way you do anytime something personal comes up."

Nothing? He was making a big deal out of nothing? So his soul and life were nothing, then? And he was just blowing everything out of proportion? Kanda had never felt so belittled and insulted in his life. His first instinct was to punch Junior, so that's what he did.

"Nothing? How can you say something like that when you have _no idea _how important that damned thing is? Who do you think you are, to say something like that?" Kanda lashed out furiously, feeling nothing but loathing for the person in front of him. Junior didn't seem to feel a thing though, which only enraged Kanda more.

"I see then, so it really is important," Junior said, as though that were not obvious by now. "In that case, I should tell you that it lost a petal."

Kanda immediately stopped moving. A petal had fallen? When? It must've been way back before Lavi had left Headquarters because he wouldn't know otherwise. But why had that happened? Kanda thought back to everything that had happened before Lavi had arrived, it seemed like so long ago, somehow, though it had only been a few months.

Then he remembered. He'd reached his third level of invocation, and that was the cursed level, wasn't it? So that had been the price he'd paid for the ability to save his comrades. He'd known there was a price, he could feel it taking its toll on him, and now he knew.

His anger vanished, and Kanda was left feeling void from the shock. He pulled himself from Junior's slackened grip without a problem, and walked away.

**Ah, this chapter was all about Junior, there was no Lavi at all... Honestly, Saya had never planned to do this, but inspiration came, and Saya has never been one to deny inspiration...Next chapter, the beloved Lavi will be back, though it feels sort of odd to write two personalities for the same person, especially when one personality is hardly shown in the actual manga... But really, Saya had another plan for this chapter, but Junior took up so much space... oh well, next chapter then...**


	33. Better to Beg Forgiveness

**Sorry for the wait! It seems that lately all Saya does is apologize...um... in other news, Saya lost her chap stick again? That's about as interestin' as it gets 'round here these days...-sigh-**

**Saya owns the play but not the actors, they belong to Hoshino-ka.**

**Rated T... Because a kiss doesn't call for an M rating.** **Rating will get higher with the chapters.**

33. Better to Beg Forgiveness Than to Ask Permission

For the next week, Kanda was nearly inconsolable. Of course, he didn't cry or whine or cling to anyone for support, he just withdrew into himself. It was all but impossible to get more than one syllable out of him at any one time, and while Kanda had never been the most talkative of people to begin with, he wouldn't even make his usual sarcastic remarks like he usually did.

Change was evident in even his fighting. He hadn't gotten sloppy or hesitant; on the contrary he was fighting faster and with more caution than ever. It was as though his fear of being harmed was making him twice as focused and fast as before. But he was in such a hurry to exterminate the akuma that he was leaving openings in his defense. Marie started to get worried after a few days, and attempted to talk to him, but all Kanda said was "I'll sort it out myself." That was the only full sentence they managed to make Kanda say all week.

Lavi too, had tried to talk to Kanda, but usually that ended up in Kanda kicking him out of whatever room they were in, and sometimes out of whatever house they were in. Junior decided it would be best if he didn't disturb the boy during the nights.

This only lasted for a week though. Exactly seven days after he started feeling withdrawn, Kanda woke up and was just...back to normal. Lavi and Marie didn't understand the sudden change in the least, but they were glad to have Yuu back to normal. Still, something about that quick recovery seemed wrong, so they kept a close eye on him.

000

Three towns later, their mission was completely finished. They'd wound up in some isolated town in Burma, and had to make their way to the Yangon before they could contact Komui to tell him that they were coming home.

"Ah, I hate to ask this of you three, seeing as you've been in the field for so long already," Komui said, not sounding quite as apologetic as his words would make him seem. "But something came up, and now that you're officially the only exorcists available..."

"I got it, ya want us to go out on another mission from here, hm? Well, I doubt one more mission will make much of a difference to Yuu-chan and Marie, so what is it?" Lavi was the one currently talking on the golem with Komui, as later he would have to give Bookman a report.

"Thank you Lavi. However...I'm sure that at the very least, Kanda will have an issue with this one." Komui sounded sincerely sorry for giving the mission now, and Lavi had a few rather accurate guesses as to why.

"No, Komui..! Aah, you're not really sendin' us where I think you're sending us, are you?" Lavi groaned in annoyance; Kanda had just gotten over the shock caused by that fallen petal and now this!

"I'm sorry, but you three are the only ones who are available at the moment."

"Do you have something against the kid? He's never hit on Lenalee, I swear; honestly I'd be hard-pressed to believe that he has any interest in human beings at all, or at least girls. So really, if you've got a grudge against him, I'm sure it's not so bad that you have to taunt him by sending him someplace that's close to home!"

Oh yes, Lavi knew exactly where they would be going, Komui didn't have to say it out loud for Lavi to know. Obviously, Japan was their next destination.

"Let me assure you that I'm not nearly that cruel, Lavi," Komui said in a flat, slightly offended tone.

"Then why are you tempting Yuu like that? Making him watch over his family when he can't talk to them, that's cruel and you know it!"

"It's only cruel if he doesn't take the opportunity afforded to him," Komui said evenly. Lavi blinked once, then twice as the supervisor's words sunk in. Komui wasn't suggesting that Kanda...?

"Komui, you're not saying that Kanda should actually contact his family, are you? You know that's against the rules, he'd get into so much trouble with the Head Generals!" Lavi was incredulous, though a small part of him thought it was a wonderful idea; it was always better to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission.

"Well, it's not as though you would report him, right? I doubt Marie would either, and all finders in the area are stationed in surrounding towns and cities, the actual city you three would be stationed in has only a few Order members in it. If you three just let any meetings Kanda had with his family conveniently slip your mind..." Komui's voice tapered off, and Lavi got the general idea of what Komui was saying; as long as no one squealed, there was no problem.

A conspiratory grin stretched across Lavi's face. "I see then. So, how 'bout you give me those mission specs now?"

000

Lavi ducked as a cheap vase was thrown at his head.

"What on _earth_ would possess you to _accept_ a mission like that?!" Kanda yelled; Lavi flinched back a bit, before taking a hesitant step toward the angry boy. Kanda unsheathed Mugen and pointed it at Lavi's face. "One more step and you're dead."

"Yuu, look, we're the only ones available for the mission, there wasn't any room to decline it. Besides, I thought you didn't decline missions!" Kanda couldn't make up a retort to this, but the steely look in his eye said that he didn't care about either of those facts.

"Why would you accept that mission and then come in here with that damned grin on your face to tell me about it?" Really, Kanda would be a lot less angry if Lavi at least looked hesitant about the mission. Then again, maybe Lavi enjoyed messing with Kanda's head, after all that seemed to be Junior's favorite past-time.

"Because I think you've got quite th' opportunity here, you should take it," Lavi said, calm as night. Kanda wished that Lavi would at least act intimidated, Lord knows the kid's a good actor. The raven-haired intensified his glare.

"What opportunity?" Kanda asked; he certainly couldn't see any opportune moments in his future.

"Well Yuu, we're going to your hometown, and there's a tragically low number of finders actually stationed there, they're all in surrounding cities and towns. It wouldn't be so impossible for you to accidently bump into a family member, or sneak away when no one's looking...Heck, we could all just stay at your old home instead of spending money on an inn room."

"That's against the rules," Kanda said before he could think. He'd been raised to follow rules, not to break them. It was all but ingrained in his being to follow rules dutifully. Contacting one's family was a big no-no in the Order, Kanda definitely couldn't do what Lavi was suggesting.

"Oh, and you think Marie or I will tell anyone? Marie is a nice guy, he wouldn't tell on ya, and it's none of my business what you do, I'm under no obligation to tell anyone about it, myself."

"Except for Bookman," Kanda amended.

"Right, and he's _really_ under no obligation to tell anyone." Kanda conceded this point to Lavi, but the redhead could tell it was going to take a little more pushing before he could get Kanda to crack. Why he wanted Kanda to go home so badly was beyond him. Maybe it was because he knew how much Yuu cared about them? Or maybe he just wanted to meet Kanda's family himself? Maybe he just wanted to observe Kanda being nice and genuinely happy? Whatever it was, Lavi was going to get Kanda to break this rule at least once.

"Yuu," Lavi continued, his voice soft, "Don't you want to see them? They're your family, wouldn't you break the rules for even them?" Kanda's resolve faltered for a moment. That was a low-blow on Lavi's part. Family was important to Kanda, of course he wanted to see them, but those very same people he wanted to see so badly were the same people who had raised him to follow the rules given to him.

"No one would blame you for it, I think anyone would jump at the chance. You do realize that's what Komui's doing, right? Giving you a chance. That guy knows better than anyone how it feels to have family ripped away from him by the Order, he probably knows how your family feels. If he wants you to see your family so badly, then can you just imagine how much they wanna see you?"

Kanda slowly lowered Mugen, his resolve was almost visibly crumbling. "What happens if someone does find out? You and Marie will also be punished for coming with me. Are you okay with that?"

"We're exorcists, Yuu-chan, the precious few chosen ones. They need us out on the field fighting off akuma and the Earl. What're they gonna do, put us in a corner for 20 minutes so that we can think about what we've done? Worse comes to worst, they'll give you a little tag-along finder to keep you in line for a little while. Come on Yuu-chan, it's better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission."

Lavi crossed the distance between them, and tilted Yuu's face up. He gave Kanda his most mischievous and winning smile and that was it. Kanda sheathed Mugen before pulling away from Lavi.

"Fine, but if anything goes wrong, it's on your head, not mine."

000

Kanda stood by the rail of the ship that his group was taking to Japan. Oh man, why had he let Lavi talk him into this? The plans had been set, the three of them were going to stay in his home town and he was going to spend at least a little time with his family.

They were going to get caught; they were definitely going to get caught. Kanda couldn't help but feel paranoid over this, he wasn't a rule-breaker, and he wasn't a liar, so how on earth was he supposed to pull this off? Someone was going to ask him about it and he was going to blurt out the truth, wasn't he?

'_I was not raised to be dishonest like this..!'_

He felt like ripping his hair out. Kanda was not dishonest! He always tried to tell the truth and sometimes he had a bit more fun that he should've when revealing a particularly vicious truth. Well, ok, he specialized in saying the truth in such a biting way that it made people cry, but that was beside the point.

"Relax Yuu-chan, you look about ready to jump over the rail," Lavi said, patting Kanda on the head consolingly. Kanda looked back and attempted to bite Lavi's arm.

"Well of course _you're_ fine with lying," Kanda said, feeling irate. He hated dishonest people and yet here he was, letting the Prince of Liars talk him into something like this...

"And I'm sure you will be too, the moment you see yer precious lil' sister's face, am I right?" Kanda thought that point over for a moment, and sure enough his conscience quieted some. "'S'all for the greater good Yuu-chan, all for the greater good."

"What greater good are you talking about?"

"I get t' meet yer family!"

And that was what made Kanda try to jump over the railing in earnest.

000

Kanda was more excited than he would've liked to admit when they reached his hometown. He also felt like there was a blade hanging over his neck though, and was more paranoid than ever about running into a finder or two. Most of them were in surrounding cities so that they could alert the Black Order of a threat before said threat reached his family, but there was supposedly a few stationed in his town, too. The risk was definitely there, and Kanda didn't want to have to kill anything that wasn't an akuma just yet.

"Yuu-chan, calm down. Really, yer only drawing attention to yourself by looking paranoid and shifty-eyed. You're home now, relax a bit!" Lavi said, patting Kanda on the pack, and despite himself Kanda actually found that he was relaxing. What was this? Why was he letting Lavi talk him into things so easily like this? Kanda didn't take orders from his equals and he didn't just kindly listen to people's suggestions either. So was it just because Lavi was telling him to do these things?

Oh, hell no. Lavi was the last person Kanda would listen to. Clearly, the only reason Yuu was going along with all of this so easily was because he really wanted to break this particular rule, and he really wanted to feel at home again. Lavi was just telling him to do things he already wanted to do, and Kanda just needed a bit of prodding to actually get him to do anything. Yeah, that was it. Who told him to visit him family didn't matter, had Marie or Komui suggested it to him, he still would've. It had nothing to do with Lavi.

Kanda was pleased to find, as they got farther into the town, that he still knew where everything was. Sure, he hadn't been away for all that long, but he wouldn't have been surprised to find he'd forgotten something. As it was though, he felt as though he could easily navigate the town with his eyes closed. Without even thinking, he avoided the streets he remembered to be bad, and also avoided the ones that were too crowded. It made for a quick trip though the town, and soon enough, Kanda, Lavi, and Marie were standing before the Kanda dojo.

That was where Kanda's doubts and second-guesses all came back to bite him at once. He couldn't do this, shouldn't do this, rules were put in place for a reason and he was breaking them against his better judgment... But what bad could come out of staying at home for a week or two? Well, aside for the obvious threat of attracting akuma to his childhood home, nothing...

"Hey, Yuu, we goin' in or are we standing at the gate all day?" Lavi asked, a hint of a challenge in his voice. Well, screw his better judgment, Kanda wouldn't back down from that challenge. He let out a petulant breath and strode into the fenced yard through the front gate.

Kanda looked around, checking to see if anyone was in the yard, if it was too late to turn back yet. He found it was as just ahead of him, sitting on one of the corners of the porch, was Naoko. She was looking right at them, and he could tell, she recognized him. Quickly, she got up and ran into the house.

Lavi gave Yuu a questioning look when he saw this.

"Er...who was that, and do people always run into their houses when ya make an appearance?" He asked, pointing vaguely to the door. Kanda let out a little "Che" and hit Lavi over the head. A moment later, Naoko and a much larger figure, Hayate, came out of the house. There was some pointing in Kanda's general direction, and a moment later, his tall and exceptionally fast older brother was sprinting down the walkway towards him.

"YUU!" Hayate all but lunged in an attempt to hug him; Kanda made an annoyed expression and side-stepped him. Yuu one, Hayate zero.

"Aaaaawe, Yuu-chaaan!! Ya haven't seen me in two years nearly, and you can't even spare a hug!?" Yuu groaned as his overly-emotional brother tried to make a display of his affection for his little brother.

"Hayate, please, have some dignity!" Yuu groaned, as he all but ran from Hayate. Lavi, for what it was worth, was trying to hold in his laughter. Marie simply observed the oddly heartwarming scene with a small smile.

"Oh, he's so horrible, foreigner-san!" Hayate cried dramatically, going to Lavi for sympathy. Lavi smiled with a tinged of awkwardness and repeated: "Foreigner-san?"

"My precious little brother won't even let me hug him!" Lavi pat the man's head consolingly, as Kanda rolled his eyes; they were two peas in a pod, truly...

Yuu felt something tugging on his sleeve, and looked down. Naoko was staring back up at him cutely. She was 12 now, but she hardly looked it, she was still so small. She held her arms up to him in a silent request for a hug. Naturally, Kanda didn't hesitate to hug his darling little sister.

"Okay, now that's just plain unfair," Hayate said, sounding somewhat indignant. Lavi sighed and shook his head.

"That's Yuu-chan for ya," he said, sounding resigned to the fact that Kanda would probably only ever openly show affection for his little sister.

Hayate straightened up and gave Lavi a perplexed look. "You call him Yuu-chan?" He asked, before turning to Yuu. "And you actually let him?" Hayate looked thoroughly surprised, and Lavi wondered if it was really that odd for someone to call Yuu that.

"I do not, it does it on its own!" Kanda huffed, shooting a glare at Lavi.

"First Foreigner-san, now 'it?'" Lavi asked. Kanda nodded as though that were obvious.

"So," Hayate started, clearing his throat, "don't wanna sound mean or anything but what brought this sudden visit about? I thought you...ya know...weren't allowed to come back?" Hayate said, vaguely gesturing with his hands.

"Well, I'm here now, what does it matter?" Kanda replied with a sigh; Hayate realized that meant he was blatantly ignoring the rules this time around. Hayate was shining with brotherly pride; finally, his straight-laced little brother had strayed from the beaten path!

"I see, I see! So, why are you in the area and how long are ya stayin'?"

"Business. A few weeks."

"Where will you be staying?"

"At the inn down the street."

"NONSENSE!" Hayate yelled, as he finally managed to catch his brother in a hug. "You're home now, so you'd better stay while you can!" Kanda sighed, making a face like the embrace was burning him.

"Shall we go ask Okaa-san and Oto-san if Yuu-nii and his friends can stay?" Naoko asked, gesturing to the house. Hayate nodded, and released Kanda. "My name is Kanda Naoko, by the way. This is big brother, Hayate." Naoko bowed politely, a gesture which both Lavi and Marie returned, giving their own names. Once the introductions were exchanged, the five moved indoors.

000

"Holy hell Yuu-chan, ya shoulda told us you came from a family of knock-outs! It's no wonder yer so pretty…kinda takes away from the wonder of it, really…" Lavi said, sounding a bit wistful by the end of his exclamation. Kanda shuttered in an entirely unpleasant way; it was definitely creepy to hear Lavi talk about his family that way…

"Could you kindly not make your opinion on my family's attractiveness known? Frankly it's more disturbing than it is flattering."

"Really? It's just an observation; anyone with eyes would say the same."

"Just shut your trap."

There was only one guest room in the Kanda household, but it was so large that Marie and Lavi didn't mind sharing it in the least. Kanda was going to sleep in his old bedroom, the one he used to share with Hayate. He didn't imagine that he would get much sleep tonight. At the moment, Yuu was just helping the two other exorcists move into their temporary room.

"Anyway, to change the subject, why was Hayate-san so surprised that I called ya Yuu-chan?" Lavi asked, because something about the surprise on Hayate's face had felt odd.

"Because it's rude, of course," Kanda lied, much more smoothly than he thought he could. "You've only known me for two years, and in those two years, just how much time have I deigned to spend with you? Not much, by any measure. You're ridiculously rude and even my idiot brother knows when someone is getting too familiar." That was true, to a point, and Kanda was glad for that one bit of truth, it made the lie roll right off the tip of his tongue.

"Maybe, but it sorta seemed like more 'n that to me," Lavi said, and even Marie gave Kanda a curious look; Kanda had a suspicion that Marie could hear it when people lied. Or at least, he could hear it when normal, conscience-having people lied. If he had any inkling to Lavi's way of constantly lying, he didn't show it.

"Yuu-kun, I think that these two are moved in well enough, why don't ya move yourself back in?" Hayate asked, swooping in to save his little brother from an awkward situation. Kanda turned from the room's occupants to face the door, and gave Hayate a grateful look. He nodded once, and left the room.

"Damn, that redhead-Lavi-san, right?- He's sharp, isn't he?" Hayate asked.

"Sharp, curious, and observant-his three worst traits." Those were his three worst traits, and also the only traits that Junior and Lavi shared. On second thought, perhaps they weren't so bad; at least they were real.

"I take it you don't really appreciate him calling you Yuu-chan, hm?"

"Of course not! It's entirely too informal," Kanda said, as though it were obvious. Hayate could hardly believe what he was seeing. Yuu was making his pouty little expression of denial! Oh, Hayate hadn't seen that cute expression on his brother's face since he was maybe 10. More surprising though, was that it usually hinted to Yuu lying. So he didn't actually mind someone calling him that, then? Or at least, he didn't want to believe that he was okay with it.

The two entered Hayate and Yuu's room, and moved to get out the futons.

"Yeah, I was thinkin' that, and how, you know, that guy used to always call you that, and after what happened you started lashing out at whoever called you that."

Yuu tensed for a moment, before sighing; no one would ever let that go, would they?

"There's no need to refer to Yori as 'that guy,' I don't care anymore," Yuu said, he had always hated how everyone started walking on eggshells when it came to that incident. He was over and done with it all, so why couldn't they be? Hayate's surprised expression just annoyed Yuu all the more.

"Really? 'Cause I remember that when ya left, you were still pretty sensitive about that. Then again, you've been fighting in some crazy, world-wide war against millions of demons, I s'pose dealing with the world's problems sorta puts your own into perspective, ne?" Hayate said, reasoning out why his brother had gotten over what could've easily been considered the biggest betrayal of his young life. Kanda shrugged noncommittally, that made about as much sense as anything else did.

"I guess I just have bigger problems now."

"Damn straight ya do. Geez, that damned Black Order, usin' kids to lead a war… I'm both surprised and thankful that you're still in one piece, Yuu," Hayate said, his voice sounding sincere. Yuu tried not to feel embarrassed about being cared for.

"Che, like I'd die and leave the world to a bunch of incompetent fools…" Hayate laughed and plopped down on his futon. Yuu gracefully dropped to his knees before lying down; it had been sundown when they'd arrived, and dinner and settling in had taken time, it was time for bed.

"Well, I'm just glad t' see your getting close to people again, but I guess fighting a war together has a way of bringin' people together too."

"I'm not 'close' with anyone, don't be stupid." Hayate waved away his brother's denial, and turned onto his back. He had long since memorized the surface of his ceiling, but that didn't stop him from staring at it every night.

"Mhm, g'night Yuu, gussuri oyasumi."

"Oyasumi."

000

"whoa, Hayate-nii brought a lady friend back to the house for a sleepover?"

Kanda twitched when he heard what he decided was an incredibly annoying voice, along with a low whistle, and woke from the pleasant blackness of sleep.

"I am not a girl!" Kanda grumbled, before looking up to see just who it was standing at the window of Hayate's room. His eyes widened when he saw the person at the window, and his expression froze into one of shock.

Oh, this was just rich. What was Yori doing at his house, calling his brother Hayate-nii just like he used to when they were still on good terms?

Yuu wasn't the only one who was surprised, it seemed, as Yori's expression was a mirror to his own. There was a tense moment of staring before Hayate was awake enough to assess the situation.

"Now, now, you know how Yuu gets about bein' called a girl," Hayate chided, his voice thick with sleep. When what was happening really, finally sunk in, Hayate looked over to Yuu in alarm. Yuu was now giving him a venomous glare that demanded an explanation. However, the youngest boy didn't give the older two any time to explain, as he quickly stood up, and left the room.

Yori sighed, and climbed in through the window as Hayate sat up.

"Oh, do come in," he said sarcastically, seeing as it already too late to ask the boy in.

"Yuu-chan still hates me, I see," Yori stated, "Well, of course he does. I did too little, too late, after all."

"Yeah, he still hates you, but at least he's over what happened. In any case, are you sure you wanna brave breakfast with him? I wouldn't be surprised if he stabbed you with that pretty new sword of his."

"Sword? You mean there was someone in this world stupid enough to give that kid a weapon?" Yori asked, and Hayate nodded, looking equally worried about that fact.

"Well, in any case, if I don't eat here, then I won't get anything to eat at all. I'd rather die full than live empty."

"Brave man. I suppose we'll just have to explain ourselves over breakfast, then," Hayate said. He went over to his closet and got out a change of clothes for the day. "Well, no need to stay, feel free to make your way to the dining room." Yori gave Hayate a look like he was being sentenced to death, and left the man to himself.

'_Well, I did pray for a second chance, now didn't I? Better take while I can,' _Yori thought, and walked down the hall to the dining room.

**Oh mai, Yori is here? Well, this is certainly unexpected….or not. In any case, typing the last half of this was really annoying, because Saya moved to a new laptop in the middle of writing it, but it is missing an L key that has yet to be replaced, so Saya's killed her right index finger pushing on the space where it used to be… In the end, she just started copy-pasting them…. It's a surprisingly troublesome letter to be missing….grah… **


	34. In Your Care

**Well, I'm sure yer all glad to be rid of that cliffy-sorta ending. Now we see everyone's reactions to this latest development!**

**Saya owns the play but not the actors, they belong to Hoshino-ka.**

**Rated T... Because a kiss doesn't call for an M rating.** **Rating will get higher with the chapters.**

**34. In Your Care**

Breakfast was a very tense affair, and of course, Lavi and Marie had no idea as to why. They didn't even know who the strange person sitting across the low table from them was. He hadn't been there the night before, and considering the way Yuu was shooting glares at him, it was obvious he wasn't welcome.

Lavi and Marie did their best to blend in with the walls around them. Cleary, whatever was making the family so tense was none of their concern, and they were determined not to intrude upon it. Because of his quiet nature, it was easy for Marie to just sit and observe. Lavi too, found it easy enough to just stay out of the mess; he had been trained to observe, after all. However, he'd also been encouraged to be curious, and it was hard to keep his curiosity in check when there was a stranger sitting across from him whose very presence made Yuu positively livid.

"So, why is he here?" Yuu asked when he could take being unaware no longer. His mother shot him a scolding look for his rudeness.

"You remember what his situation was like before you left, right?" She asked. Mention of that made Yuu angry, for some reason. So everyone just expected him to remember everything about the boy as though all of it was precious information? The most annoying part was that he had actually bothered to remember most of it. Damn it all.

"I recall that it was unpleasant," he conceded. Hayate snorted at the understatement. Lavi raised an eyebrow, but that was all.

"Yeah, well it got worse after ya left, so while he's still living at home, we're taking care of him now," Hayate said, patting the stranger on the shoulder. For a moment, Lavi was pretty sure he saw concern shoot through Kanda's eyes, but it came and went too quickly for him to sure. The stranger definitely noticed it though, Lavi could tell, and he looked a bit uncomfortable with being an object of pity.

"That doesn't explain why he had to come in through Hayate's window," Yuu said, back to being cold. Clearly he was still miffed about being confused for a girl, especially considering that the person who'd thought him one was someone he'd known once upon a time.

"Just a habit I picked up a while back," the stranger said; it was the first thing he'd said since entering the room. He had a rich voice, it teased the ears pleasantly. "I'd have used the front door if I'd known you were in there…"

Kanda glared at the boy for daring to talk, but the stranger was impervious to it and just rolled his eyes. It was clear that Kanda didn't appreciate being brushed off in such a manner, but he hadn't really expected his glare to have any power here anyway. The people of this house knew him too well to be intimidated, and that sucked.

"You never could do things normally, now could you?" Kanda asked rhetorically. He rolled his eyes at the teasing smirk and nod he got in reply. The stranger wore smirks well, and Lavi had to admit that the man was attractive in a general sort of way.

"Well normal never got my anywhere," the stranger replied, before pushing back his sleeve and checking his watch. "In any case, I've got to get going soon." The man stood up from his seat and Lavi saw just how tall he was; about Hayate's height, maybe a centimeter or two shorter. He thanked Kanda's parents for the meal before turning to leave, his long plaited hair- longer than even Kanda's, Lavi wondered if it was a local trend or something- swung over his back as he moved. Stopping at the door, he turned back to look at Yuu with an infuriating smile. He tugged on the left sleeve of his undershirt just a bit as he spoke.

"I'll be in your care from now on, Yuu-chan," he said, and walked out the door. The chopsticks that Kanda had been clutching in his vice-like grip finally snapped under the strain he was putting them through.

"Damnit Yori…!" Kanda ground out, before shooting up from his seat and following the other out of the room. From the way he'd stormed out, slammed the sliding door, and had been gripping Mugen, Lavi could tell Kanda was plotting a bloody murder, yet he couldn't find it in himself to care. For a moment the room was silent as everyone just stared at the door, which was still shaking just a bit from the force Kanda had used to close it.

"That was Yori?" Lavi blurted out before he could stop himself. He realized that he shouldn't have said anything as it was not his place, but his curiosity had just burst! That was the "Best friend" Yuu had spoken about? Well, they hardly seemed like old buddies, but who knew, maybe that was just how Kanda had always been with friends? In which case, there was still some hope for Lavi.

The four remaining Kandas in the room all gave him the same part-questioning, part-surprised look. It was almost intimidating, being stared down by four incredibly beautiful people. Hayate was the first one to speak up.

"Yuu told you about Yori?" He asked, though it was more of a statement.

"Yeah," Lavi replied quickly, still not quite over his own shock. "Not much though. I asked him 'bout his family an' all once, and when we got to the subject of friends, the name Yori came up, but that's all he ever said. They don't exactly get along anymore, do they?"

Hayate gave a short laugh at the understatement. "Oh, Yuu hates him, definitely. Yori is just in the habit of teasing him, always has been. Now that's a problem though 'cause Yuu can't stand him. He didn't always hate Yori, they were really good friends when they were kids…" Hayate sighed wistfully, and propped his chin up in his palm.

Naoko shot Hayate a scolding look and said, "Yuu-nii wouldn't appreciate you telling people things about himself that he hasn't already. Be careful what you say."

"I know, I know, Naoko. I wasn't plannin' on saying much more than what was obvious," Hayate defended, pouting in a very childish way.

"Um, anyway," Lavi started; it was clear that he wouldn't get any information on what had happened between Yuu and Yori at the moment, so he decided to change the subject to one with better prospects. "I've been meanin' t' ask but… You were really surprised when I called Yuu-chan Yuu-chan, why was that?"

There was another odd silence, and this time Naoko broke it, for it seemed that Hayate was too worried about his lack of discretion to speak up. "Well, we're his family, so we've sort of always had the right to call him things like 'Yuu' and 'Yuu-chan,' even though he hates that honorific..." Naoko shot Hayate another look at that, and he sheepishly grinned back. "The first person outside of our family who ever called him 'Yuu-chan' was Yori-kun and well…After their fall-out he started getting really violent with anyone who ever tried to call him that."

"And you told me to be careful of what I say," Hayate muttered, and promptly dodged the spare chopsticks that were chucked at him. Lavi looked back at Naoko to see her still eating her breakfast primly.

"Ah, well then…" Lavi didn't really know what to say about that. He felt a bit bad now, he must've been clawing at an old wound of Kanda's without even realizing it all this time. Of course, it wasn't as though he hadn't done that before but Kanda had actually had to put up with it for two years.

"Hey, Lavi-san, I've got a question," Hayate said, looking curious. Lavi nodded, signaling it was okay to continue. "What are you to Yuu, that he lets you call him by name?"

"What am I?" Lavi repeated back, and gave a hesitant grin. Now that he understood the circumstances a bit more, he imagined his self-proclaimed title held much more meaning than he'd originally thought. Even so, he wouldn't give it up.

"I'm his best friend."

000

Kanda stormed after Yori, not really sure why he was following. That little tug on the sleeve had been an old code of theirs; it meant that Yori wanted him to follow. Why Kanda had even bothered to pick up on it and leave was beyond him, he supposed that it was just an old habit of his now, one he hadn't gotten out of. Whatever the case, Kanda was still pissed.

Yori was waiting near the front entrance of the house, and smirked just a bit when Kanda finally reached him.

"Half-expected you to just stay put, Yuu-chan," he said in response to Kanda's glower.

"Don't you call me that, I told you not to," Kanda snapped, his hand twitching (maybe trembling?) around Mugen. It was so hard for him to not draw his sword… "Anyway, what do you want?"

"Really? I just wanted to see if you'd actually follow," Yori said, sounding flippant, as though it didn't matter to him either way. Kanda had to fight to remain in control of his rage. God, he was such an idiot, actually going after Yori like this! A fool through and through.

"If that was all, I really will kill you," Kanda ground out, his words sounding like concentrated venom. Yori revised his answer a bit in order to save his hide.

"Well, okay, that's not all, happy?"

"Reason. _Now._" Kanda had the glare of a basilisk; Yori could feel himself turning to stone under his gaze.

"My father died a little after you left," Yori blurted out, because Kanda was looking like the devil incarnate and he really did need a reason for calling him out here or his head would roll. Really, whoever had given Kanda a sword was insane. "I know, you'd think that'd be an improvement, but it's not, considering he didn't teach me shit about anything, and he sure as hell didn't leave me anything either. I'm in a financial bind at the moment and your folks are just helping me out. Just figured I should tell you that before you killed Hayate-nii."

For a moment something like concern ran through Kanda's mind, but he quickly shook it off. He supposed that it made sense that his family would help Yori now, though he wondered how Yori had gotten back in their good graces after everything that had happened.

"My condolences," Kanda said grudgingly, but sincerely. He didn't want to feel pity, but he did. He tried to remain civil as Yori scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"Please, if you start pitying me I think I just might shoot myself."

"Just don't kill yourself in my house."

"Maa, maa, _Kanda-san_ isn't a very nice person." Kanda huffed, his breath ruffling his long bangs.

"Don't you have somewhere to be now?" He asked, feeling exasperated; why was he still here? He should've walked off by now.

"Seeing me off, hm? How sweet," Yori teased, patting Kanda on the head. That patronizing act inspired a world of violent impulses to stir in Kanda, and finally he decided to screw being civil and just punched the older man. Yori was surprised, as Kanda knew he would be. Throughout their exchange Yori had kept his eyes on Mugen, which was still affixed to Yuu's hip. He'd been expecting to be cut, not to be punched.

"Kanda-san has a good punch, too, better than it used to be," Yori observed as though his jaw didn't feel dislocated. He turned his back to Yuu and gave a little wave. "In any case, I'll be seeing you."

Kanda couldn't help but feel that something about that entire exchange was very off.

000

"Ya know, I know you still hate 'im and I can totally see why, but despite his naturally jerky personality he really is sorry." Hayate broke the silence that surrounded the two of them. It was Kanda's night to patrol the town, and Hayate had decided to follow even after Kanda had told him just how troublesome it would be to have a tag-along who wasn't an exorcist. He gave his brother a strange look, wondering why Hayate was bothering to tell him this.

"Well, could've fooled me," Kanda said disbelievingly. They were talking about Yori, of course, because that was all anyone saw fit to talk to him about all day after the incident at breakfast. His family just had to try and explain themselves to him, as though he was so heartless that he couldn't understand the concept of charity. Lavi had asked about Yori all day, and Kanda had gotten closer to stabbing him than he had in a while. Thankfully, Marie didn't ask about what had happened -- he was a safe person to be around.

"But really, if you had been there, then even you would've forgiven him," Hayate said, seeming determined to make Kanda understand, "He noticed it right away when ya left, saw you leaving with that old guy and Marie-san. He stormed into the dojo, demandin' to know why you were leaving. O' course, he realized soon enough that his presence wasn't appreciated, and why. Next thing we know he's got his forehead to the floor, beggin' forgiveness and explaining himself. I doubt you believe me when I say he was sincere, ya probably think he just pulled one over on me. But even Okaa-san believed him, and you know how she's got that hyper-intuition thing goin' on."

"I get it already!" Kanda snapped; he wished everyone would stop talking about this. "Ok, he was sorry, I get it. I get that he's in a bind now so you're all helping him out; I'm not so stupid that I can't even understand that! But just because Yori was sorry doesn't mean I have to care. I'll give a damn about his apologies when he says sorry to my face."

Hayate sighed, shaking his head. "I'm sure he would apologize to your face if you weren't so scary…" he muttered, and dodged the fist that came his way.

000

_He was tired after a day of doing nothing but busywork in order to avoid going back home. Damn his old man, he hated the guy and was sure the feeling was mutual, if the relatively fresh burn on his back was any indication. Still, he did need to go home eventually; after all it wasn't like he had anywhere else to go now. _

_Yori sighed as he walked down the familiar street of his old friend. His own house was just at the other end, but the walk always seemed so long. There were other people on the street, just three of them, and Yori tried not to stare at their outlandish appearances. Two of them were exceptionally tall and burly, both were cloaked in strange black coats that went to their ankles and had white or gold accents on them. One was nearly bald with the exception of a bizarre top-knot, and the older-looking gentleman had frizzy hair that seemed to defy gravity. _

_The third one looked ridiculously small next to these two, and he also looked the unhappiest. Yori recognized this person immediately as Yuu. He was in a plain black coat that lacked the strange patterns of his escorts' coats. In one hand he held a suitcase, in the other a small bag. Kanda looked like he was ready to go on a long trip, and something about that irked Yori. _

"_Don't worry Kanda-kun," the old man said as the three passed by Yori; he tried to act as though he wasn't there, "You'll get used to your new life soon enough."_

"_Yeah, if I don't die first. Save your crap old man, I don't want to hear it." The old man looked mildly upset by the comment, but seemed to understand Yuu's feelings. Yori was more than just a little disturbed by it himself. Yuu was going to die? What was he doing then, following those people?_

_Even though he knew he had no right to be worried, Yori still made a run for the Kanda estate and went into the dojo. It was definitely trespassing considering how unwelcome he was there, but he hardly cared. _

"_Where the hell are they taking Yuu?!" He yelled as he slammed the door back in its slider. The Kanda parents immediately looked up from their children to glare at the intruder. Naoko was so surprised by the intrusion that she dropped her stance, and likewise Hayate dropped his shinai. _

"_What the hell? Yuu is being taken away and you're all in here practicing katas?" To find such an ordinary scene after just seeing Kanda walk away from his home, looking like he was never going to come back and talking about dying, it seemed so uncaring. Yori had known this family to be closer than that. _

_When Yori looked closer, he saw the red-rimmed eyes on Naoko and her mother, and the upset expressions of the two men of the family, well, the two that were left. He'd spoken before thinking, but was relieved to find he was wrong. The entire family settled their angry glares on him, and for a moment he remembered just how dangerous this particular group of people was when provoked. _

"_Where are they taking him?" He asked again in a much more composed voice when it seemed that he wouldn't get an answer. _

"_He's going to war," their father said gravely, and he looked so much more tired than Yori had remembered. _

_He couldn't believe it. War? What war? And why Yuu? He was only 14! _

"_Why would a child go to war?" Yori asked, despite the fact that he was only two years older than Kanda and therefore a child himself. _

"_He was chosen," Hayate spit out bitterly, "He didn't have a choice in the matter, not really. He just decided to leave without fighting for our sake. Damn kid always did put on a strong front." _

_He didn't have a choice? He was chosen? What sick army would choose a kid to fight in a war? It was despicable. Slowly, Yori made his way past the door of the dojo, unsure of whether he would be allowed in. No one made a move to stop him, but he wasn't exactly beckoned in, either. Hayate and Naoko sat beside their parents. The family presented a united front, and it was definitely intimidating._

_When he was maybe two meters away from the family, Yori dropped to his knees and bowed lowly to them. He should've done this a long time ago, but for so long he'd felt too ashamed to show his face to these people who had shown him nothing but kindness for so many years. He hadn't wanted to see Yuu's hurt expression. Still, he should've screwed up his courage and come here anyway, he should've done it while Yuu was here._

"_I know it's too late to be of any consequence, but I'm deeply sorry. Out of childish envy and spite I wronged your son, and I've no excuse for it. I wish I had come here sooner, before Yuu had left. I don't ask for forgiveness, I just ask that you accept this apology." Yori didn't need to mention the incident; they all knew what he'd done. He wished he hadn't though, goodness, if only he could take it back. He'd been such a child back then, taking out his anger towards the world on his closest friend, upsetting the family that had taken care of him like one of their own. _

_He could see that his bangs, just long enough to be swept behind his ears, were pooling on the polished floor of the dojo, if he bowed any lower he'd hit his nose._

_For a moment there was silence, and no one moved. Silently the family assessed him, determining how truthful he was being. _

"_Why'd you wait so long to come back here?" Naoko asked, looking at him with hurt innocent child eyes. _

"_Shame can keep even the most resolute from doing what they should."_

_Another moment of silence where Yori didn't dare raise his head. It was a grating, uncomfortable silence, and internally he squirmed under the combined gazes of the Kanda family._

_Finally, for the first time since Yori had entered, Kanda's mother spoke. "I believe him." _

_For a moment Yori didn't believe it. He knew that if she believed him, if she accepted his apology as sincere, then eventually everyone else would, too. She was an excellent judge of character and had great intuitive powers besides; her judgment was trusted by the family. He dared risk a glance at his four prosecutors, and saw agreement in their eyes. _

000

Lavi was just bursting at the seams with questions. He wanted to know what had happened so badly, but no one was going to speak about it without Kanda's permission and Lavi wasn't stupid enough to ask about it. He had only two options, there were only two people he could ask about it and have any hope of getting an answer from. He could ask Yuu himself, but he realized that chances were, the only answer he'd get from Kanda would be "Fuck you."

That was the only answer he'd gotten so far, at least.

He could always ask Yori, but as it was the older boy was only around during meals, he was almost always working otherwise. Besides, Lavi didn't much like the idea of asking that guy anything, something about Yori rubbed him the wrong way. The guy hadn't done anything particularly suspicious or bad, but…Well, Lavi was pretty sure he'd caught Yori _checking Yuu out_, and maybe it was in a "I haven't seen him in a long time and am trying to find the changes in him" way, but all the same Lavi didn't like it. He was the only one allowed to look at Kanda like that.

Lavi pulled himself away from his thoughts for a moment. He'd been getting possessive, hadn't he? Possessive over someone that was not his, when he wasn't supposed to care at all about anything. Goodness, he was slipping, slipping down a steep slope that he would not be able to get back up if he wasn't careful.

Angry with himself and determined to prove to himself that he didn't care whether or not someone else was making eyes at Kanda (someone who undoubtedly had much more of a right to than he did), Lavi resolved to talk with Yori the next chance he got. That chance came sooner than he expected though, as that night Yori said over dinner that he had the night off from work. Hayate immediately decided to invite the boy to stay for however long he liked, and that offer was immediately taken.

It was Kanda's turn to patrol the town again, and despite the fact that he'd been the one to ask Yori to stay, Hayate had decided to follow Kanda out, again.

Perfect, Lavi had thought when he saw Yori alone on the porch, looking as though he wanted to follow the Kanda brothers out too.

"So, seems ya caused a bit of a hubbub with your entrance a few days back," Lavi said in lieu of a greeting as he sat next to the older boy. Yori gave him a peculiar look, and shrugged off his question. Lavi tried not to let it get on his nerves too much.

"My name's Lavi, by the way. I don't think we were properly introduced." He bowed his head a little, just enough to be polite, but not enough to show any real respect. A similar nod was afforded to him. Damnit, why was this guy so annoying? He wasn't even saying anything and Lavi just wanted to rip his head off.

"Sorry if I'm not being particularly cordial," Yori said cooly, though even that seemed aggravating; why had he waited so long to speak? "I just don't trust foreigners."

Oh, so now the guy was prejudice, too, on top of being a pervert who checked out his estranged best friend when they weren't looking?

"Ah, that sounded rude, I meant to say that I just don't trust foreigners who act like they have a _thing _for Yuu-chan."

"Well I don't particularly care for people who look at him like he's something to eat, either," Lavi retorted, pissed to think that this jerk was acting as though he had special rights to the eye-feast that was Kanda Yuu.

"Looks like we've established a mutual dislike, Lavi-san," Yori said, smirking with a hint of superiority, "So what is it you want with me?"

"Just curious about why Yuu-chan hates you so much." Yori's smirk dropped as he turned his face to glower in Lavi's direction.

"You sure don't waste time with pleasantries, do you?"

"It's more my style to get to the point. In any case, care to answer my question?" Lavi was pretty sure he was not going to get an answer from Yori; it was clear as day that they would not be getting along any time soon.

"I'll answer you if you answer me first; why does he seem to hate you, too?"

At this Lavi laughed, because when he thought about it, everything that had made his and Kanda's relationship into the twisted thing it was had been his doing, pretty much, and it all seemed so comical when he looked back on it. Besides, Kanda didn't hate him, not really anyway.

"Well, where to start? Ah yes, at the beginning," Lavi said as though he were introducing a great story. "Lets see… I mistook him for a girl upon meeting him, though I can't have been the only one to do that, kissed him the day after I met him, then told him he had six months to catch my interest, which he did despite how hard he tried not to. After that it all went downhill from there. He doesn't hate me though, not really. He can never say he does with any meaning."

Lavi supposed he shouldn't have been surprised when he got punched across the porch, but he was. He blinked in surprise at Yori, who was, strangely enough, also looking at his own fist with surprise.

"Uh…Sorry 'bout that… Just sorta happened. It's like a damn twitch when people talk about Yuu-chan that way…"

Well, Lavi figured he deserved that one and didn't bother getting angry over it. What an interesting "twitch" to have though.

"But did you seriously kiss him? And after only just meeting? How did you live to see the next day?" Yori was clearly incredulous, and probably a bit jealous, but at the moment he was more or less just incredulous.

"I lived because he didn't have his weapon at the time, but that's besides the point. I've answered your question, so sit down and answer mine," Lavi said, moving back to his original spot. Yori took his seat too, though he wasn't nearly as enthusiastic about the change in subject as Lavi was.

There was a moment of silence where Lavi prodded the man to speak with his eye. He could be patient now that he knew he was finally going to get the information he wanted.

"Ah…Well, a few years back… I wasn't a very happy child. There were a lot of things wrong with my life back then. Yuu-chan was my close friend, but his circumstances were the total opposite of mine. I was envious of him, and sort of…betrayed him in a fit on misdirected and childish anger," Yori explained vaguely, as if the words were being dragged out of him.

"That was a bit of a general explanation," Lavi commented, he definitely didn't want to settle for that. He wanted details, he wanted to know exactly what had happened! The wait was killing him! "Even I did a better job of explaining than that."

"Yeah, you did, but the things you did didn't make him hate you."

"Oh…Right." Lavi supposed that Yori's regret made it much more difficult to talk about what happened, and didn't push it.

The two sat in an awkward silence together until Yuu and Hayate got home.

**Ah….lame place to leave off D: And of course, you all probably hate Saya for still not telling you exactly what Yori did… Next chapter, next chapter… This didn't come out the way Saya wanted it to…she waited too long to write it and lost all of her good ideas for this chapter…blah… The next one will be better! **


	35. Second Step is Denial

**Ahaha… Oh, Saya is going to be killed, because as much as she meant to put it in this chapter…the revelation just didn't make it in, it's getting pushed to the next D: -dodges sharp objects- And as for everyone's reactions to Yori himself… well, it was what Saya expected, which was great, and there were a few who sort of liked him, which was great too. So, enough of Saya's babble, lets go on! **

**Saya owns the play but not the actors, they belong to Hoshino-ka.**

**Rated T... Because a kiss doesn't call for an M rating.** **Rating will get higher with the chapters.**

35. The Second Step is Denial

"So, you've given up on getting answers from me and went behind my back to ask Yori, hm?"

Lavi cursed under his breath. He'd been walking toward Yuu with the intent of sitting next to him and maybe surprising him, but he should've known that would be impossible; Kanda's ability to sense his presence hadn't been dulled by a year apart. Lavi sighed and stood beside him anyway, shaking his head no to Kanda's statement. Kanda couldn't see the motion for he had his eyes shut.

"Nope. While I did indeed ask him 'bout what happened, I wouldn't say I went behind your back. I wasn't exactly tryin' to hide the fact that I was curious, you know."

"Che." Kanda rolled his eyes, but didn't deign to look at the redhead. Lavi had just been so excessively annoying lately, Kanda found it hard to suppress his murderous impulses when he looked at him. "What did he tell you, anyway?" Kanda just wanted to make sure that if Lavi knew the story, then he knew the truth; Yori was famous for being a good story-teller. He wasn't a out-right liar, he just liked to embellish things.

"Nothin' much, didn't even tell me what happened really. He just said he double-crossed ya, because he was angry and jealous of you, so he took it out on you. Seemed sorry enough when he told me." Kanda scoffed at what Lavi had learned, it was hardly anything and Lavi was no doubt left squirming in his skin, dying to know more. Served the bastard right, in Kanda's opinion.

"Seems that he can act sorry around just about everyone but me," Kanda snorted; it seemed so pathetic to him that Yori could face everyone but him. Then again, he supposed he was a bit intimidating. Lavi finally sat down next to Kanda in the yard; it seemed the older boy was meditating outside today.

"You're not exactly a forgivin' soul Yuu-chan… I mean what would you do if he did apologize directly to you?" Lavi looked up at Yuu from an angle and Kanda opened one eye to look down at him. He had to wonder though, just what he would do if that were to happen. His pride wouldn't allow him to just…accept, would it? But he could respect a person who owned up to their wrongdoings… sort of. Honestly, he had no idea.

"Nothing," Kanda said, deciding that was the best answer. He probably wouldn't do anything. It wasn't like his whole attitude would change over a few _words_. Maybe Yuu wouldn't be particularly angry over what happened anymore, but it wasn't like he was now either. Kanda didn't really care much about what had actually happened anymore, he just didn't like or trust Yori anymore. But he wasn't a nice person to begin with, so what difference would it make if he did accept Yori's apology? He'd still act the same, surely. In the end, he really would just do nothing.

"…Are you serious Yuu-chan? That's a sort of lackluster response. It's no small wonder the guy doesn't say anything to ya, there's no merit in it. I mean, to lower ones self and ask forgiveness, then not get anything for it?"

"Yeah well asking forgiveness isn't really about yourself, it's about the person you're apologizing to."

"Wrong Yuu." Lavi wagged a finger at Kanda, which the black haired boy couldn't see because he had closed his eye again. "Everyone in this world does what they do because they hope to get something in return. People apologize because they hope to be forgiven. But when it comes to Yuu-chan there's no room to hope for something like that, so he doesn't apologize. 'Sides, yer one scary guy, you know?"

Kanda smirked just a bit at this, a hint of teeth showing behind his lips. It was such an arrogant expression and it fit his countenance so well, Lavi couldn't help but stare a little. He wondered if Kanda was aware of his staring. Certainly he had to realize how attractive he was, and how much attention he got. Maybe Kanda just brushed it all off, and ignored the staring and appreciative sighs people gave when he walked by? Perhaps he secretly reveled in it? But Kanda didn't really get much of an ego boost from such things, it probably really screwed with his own conceptions of his masculinity when people brought attention to his pretty boy looks. More than anything, he seemed annoyed by other people's admiration.

"So you think I'm scary, Lavi?" Said redhead gulped loudly; that seemed like a trick question and aside from that, it was rare for Kanda to say his name without acting as though the word burned his tongue. Somehow…it was sort of seductive. Not that Lavi's could be seduced or anything.

When Kanda received no answer, he opened his eye again and questioningly raised an eyebrow. He seemed completely unaware of what he was doing to Lavi, and for that the redhead was thankful; if Kanda were to react to him angrily, he'd be too cute to resist. It was a good thing Kanda was so focused on meditating.

"Lavi, are you fevered? Your face is red and if you get sick now, we'll be one exorcist down while on the job. You'd make a real shitty replacement if you got sick."

Damnit, he'd done it again with the name-using! Even with his much-less-than-worried tone, it was still strangely seductive. Why was Kanda doing this to him, it was like he didn't _want_ Lavi to hold back or something! Then again, now that Lavi thought about it, it had been a really long time since he'd really done anything to Kanda; maybe the raven-haired beauty was secretly craving him? No, he was giving himself too much credit, Kanda definitely hated it when he did things like that… Or did he?

Well, there was only possible way to find out, huh? Lavi's eye quickly (carelessly) scanned the area to make sure there was no one watching, and leaned over to steal a kiss from Yuu-chan. Kanda's reaction was immediate – he punched Lavi hard, his face red up to his ears.

"NOT IN MY MOTHER'S HOUSE YA DON'T PERVERT!" Kanda huffed angrily, before stalking away to find somewhere new to meditate uninterrupted. Goodness, Lavi was so indecent, doing things like that even while in Kanda's own house! He didn't need his childhood home being pervaded by memories of Lavi sexually harassing him.

Lavi chuckled a bit at Kanda's reaction once his jaw stopped hurting. Kanda was so red and cute… _'I've still got it,'_ he thought as a grin slowly grew on his face. That hurt a bit though, it sure was painful to be punched two days in a row.

"Guess I deserved it though…" A little sigh passed his lips.

000

"That was interesting."

Kanda stopped in his tracks and internally groaned. Of all the people to have witness Lavi's lascivious behavior…!

"Che." Kanda decided it might be for the best if he just kept walking, and made a point of ignoring the older boy who seemed to be determined to follow him.

"I've gotta say, I didn't think anyone would really be able to get away with kissing you whenever they damn well pleased." Yori inwardly twitched at the realization that what he'd just seen lent proof to what Lavi had told him the night before. That redhead must've been doing something right, if Kanda didn't hate him by now. On the contrary, the fact that Yuu hadn't killed Lavi yet hinted to the brunette actually liking the redhead… Another troubling thought. His eyebrows furrowed together.

"I'm not allowed to kill my co-workers," Kanda replied through gritted teeth, whether it was because he didn't want to talk to Yori or because he really wanted to kill Lavi, the older boy wasn't sure.

"You're not allowed to be at home right now either, and yet here you are," he pointed out, as though to make Kanda's denial more obvious. "You like that guy, don't you?"

Kanda finally looked back at Yori, his eyes wide and surprised. No way did he like Lavi! The kid was a fake and his real self was a heartless, unfeeling sadist. There was nothing to be liked in that jerk who couldn't keep his damned nose out of anyone's business, or keep his hands and lips to himself, for that matter.

"You're completely wrong. If I injure a co-worker, then I have to do more to make up for the loss; harming my comrades makes the group less efficient. I'm not doing anyone any harm by being at home, though."

"Always so cool and logical, Kanda-san." Yori sighed and shook his head. "I guess you're right though. Still, I imagine you wouldn't go so easy on anyone else who did something like that to you."

"Why do you seem fixated on the idea of me liking that rabbit brat, when I clearly don't?" Kanda asked, his brows furrowing as he gave Yori a confused look. He didn't understand why Yori cared at all anyway, and at the moment his biggest question was about where Yori had gotten that crazy idea from.

"Hm, why indeed," Yori replied vaguely, and decided it would be for the best to leave Kanda to himself before the younger boy exploded over not being left alone. With a small little wave, Yori turned and walked away.

Even though Kanda was indeed thankful that he was finally going to get some peace, he still didn't understand what felt so wrong about all of this.

000

"You know, it's because you don't make it obvious that he never notices." Yori jumped when he heard that damned voice come from his left. Well, he'd startled Kanda, he supposed it was his turn to be surprised.

"What are you talking about, you stupid kid?" Yori asked, scowling.

"Hey, I may be a bit younger than you, but I'm definitely not stupid, so let's drop that part of your description, hm?" Yori rolled his eyes, but decided there was no need for name-calling anyway. "Anyway, as I was saying, the reason Yuu-chan never realizes that you like him is because you don't make it blatantly obvious. He's as dense as lead, though you probably already know that."

Yori gave Lavi a questioning look, is eyebrows furrowed. Just what was Lavi getting at here? Lavi seemed to realize that he was genuinely confused, and covered his face with his hands. He shook his head as if he were in disbelief; Goodness, so both Yori and Yuu were clueless? Well, Lavi supposed that was a good thing; who knew what sort of strange turns their relationship would've taken had Yori realized his own feelings earlier? Lavi shuttered at the thought.

"What are you getting at Red? I'm not catching your drift," Yori said honestly. Lavi sighed and shook his head some more.

"You like Yuu-chan, right?"

"Well he was my best friend for the better half of my life. I did something horrible, but I never stopped liking him."

"Gah, you don't get it!" Lavi shout-whispered at Yori, pointing for dramatic effect. "You friggin' _like_ him you dolt! Not as a friend, but in a romantic sorta way! The fact that you punched me yesterday over stealin' kisses from him-"

"-wait, kisses as in the plural form?"

"Never said it was just one, anyway-" This time Lavi managed to catch the fist that came flying toward his face; they say third time's the charm and all, "-I rest my case. You're jealous."

"Not jealous. Twitchy."

Lavi snorted at the denial, and shrugged. "If you say so," he agreed in a sing-song voice that suggested he didn't believe it for a second. Well, it wasn't as if he cared if Yori realized he had a crush on his ex-best friend or not, after all if he did that might be troublesome for Lavi.

But wait, it wouldn't be troublesome at all, it would just be another thing to put down in some secret tome somewhere. What could it possibly get in the way of? Goodness, lately Lavi had been thinking the strangest things, they made no sense at all. It was almost as if having a potential rival was—

Rival? Rival in what?

Lavi shook the idea out of his mind, refusing to continue that train of thought.

"Well, I've got a town to patrol so if you'll excuse me," Lavi said, dismissing himself from Yori's presence. Marie was coming back from his shift now, which meant it was Lavi's turn. He decided that it was probably Yori that was making him think strange things, he definitely needed to keep his distance.

000

Hayate and Naoko had been watching for days and Yuu, Lavi, and Yori interacted, and they had learned all of two things; one, Yuu exuded homo-pheromones to which Lavi and Yori were highly susceptible, and two, none of them were aware of it. Neither of the siblings was sure of what to think of that bizarre love triangle either. They knew Yuu was a looker and on the feminine side (and Naoko took full responsibility for that second characteristic), but they'd never thought he'd really attract guys so easily…

"Sorta sucks to say, but Yori doesn't stand a chance, does he?" Hayate asked Naoko, watching the pensive man from where he couldn't see them. Hayate knew Yori much better than he knew Lavi, so it was only natural that he had a bit of a bias against the redhead.

"Well, considering he doesn't even realize his feelings himself, I'd say that no, he doesn't," Naoko replied bluntly. She had a bias against all people who were after her beloved older brother. "Then again, Lavi-san seems to be in denial himself, and Yuu-nii doesn't seem to care much for either of them."

"Wait, how is Lavi-san is denial? We saw him kiss Yuu this morning, you remember holding me back, I'm sure."

"Yeah, but he doesn't seem to really care, or at least he doesn't want to."

"WHAT?! That foreigner is playing with my precious brother's emotions? I cannot allow this to go on any longer!" Hayate shouted, and prepared to stomp off in search of the redhead. Naoko sighed and tripped him before he could get far. For a moment, Hayate just stayed on the ground.

"That was mean, Nao-chan."

"It needed to be done."

000

"Kanda." Marie stopped Yuu at the front gate with a hand on his shoulder. "I hear more than one akuma in the town tonight, be careful."

Kanda cursed at the news; the area around the town was protected by innumerous barriers and finders, but there were cracks in that protection, and if more akuma were getting in that meant the cracks were getting bigger. The akuma were trying to break into his home, and he would not stand for this.

"Che, we'll have to start going out of the barrier's limits to eliminate them. Damnit, we should've just done that in the first place." Kanda looked annoyed to Marie, so he didn't bother to point out that the only reason they hadn't done that was because they were visiting Kanda's family. Then again, that wasn't Kanda's fault anyway; it was Lavi and Komui's…

"We'll decide what to do tomorrow, for now just concentrate on getting home safely," Marie said evenly, and let Kanda go. Kanda nodded once to him, and left.

000

Winter came early in Hokkaido. The air nipped at Kanda's skin, and it smelled like it was ready to snow. He remembered watching the first snow with his siblings and Yori when he was little, and he felt a little nostalgic, knowing it was going to snow again soon. A particularly strong wind sent a horrid chill up his spine, and he decided that he was stealing Lavi's scarf when he got back. Of course there were plenty of winter clothes that were better suited to going out in the cold at his house, but he hadn't stolen Lavi's scarf in a while, it just seemed like something his should do.

"Excuse me Onii-san, but it's dangerous for you to walk around alone at night." Kanda's hand immediately moved to Mugen when he heard a young voice behind him. It was high-pitched and definitely female. He turned to see a little girl, just as alone as he was, standing in the middle of the road. Kanda wasn't stupid, he knew this girl was an akuma, and judging by the way Mugen was begging to be used he could tell that it knew that, too.

"It's really dangerous to be alone, exorcist-sama." The young girl's skin started bubbling, and Kanda unsheathed Mugen. He was quick to charge at it and cut it down; judging by its slow transformation it was probably a lower-level akuma. Kanda heard rustling to his right and quickly jumped away from his position just in time to miss getting shot. There was another akuma, a higher-level one, laying in wait. He'd figured the first was a decoy, Kanda had known he'd be ambushed the moment Marie had told him there was more than one akuma in the town. Now the only question was, how many were there?

"Aha! You won't beat me so easily, exorcist!" The second one cackled as it came out of hiding. The shadow of a third lurked behind a corner. Kanda drew himself into his fighting stance and prepare for combat.

000

It was Marie's turn to sleep, but the sounds of a far-off battle kept him awake. He could tell from the sounds that Kanda was winning against the akuma, but worry pervaded his mind nonetheless. In the end, he'd chosen to stay up with Lavi, whose turn it was to watch over the house. He was amazed he got any sleep really, with all the battles he heard at night.

"Ah, the fighting is over," Marie stated with a sigh of relief. He and Lavi hadn't really said much to each other that night, for Marie was too concentrated on Kanda's fight and Lavi didn't want to disrupt him. "Kanda is coming home now." Marie furrowed his eyebrows at this, it was early morning, about two or three, but Kanda's shift didn't end for another two hours and the raven-haired boy never came home early.

"You serious?" Lavi asked, looking worried. "Something must be wrong then, he'd never come home early for no reason."

"He's probably injured badly," Marie agreed. Kanda wasn't one to come home with his tail between his legs, but he was also sensible enough to know when he should seek medical help. Well, he was only that sensible_ after_ all of his enemies were dead. "Go inside and get one of the first aid kits."

Lavi nodded and headed inside to do Marie's bidding, hoping all the while that Kanda would come home with only scratches and bruises, though he knew that was asking for too much.

000

Kanda hissed when a snowflake fell into his open wound. He'd been shot, he hated being shot, it took too long to heal wounds made by akuma poison bullets. He was also feeling ridiculously cold and more than a bit light-headed from bloodloss. More than anything though, he hated that he'd gotten a wound on his back. Besides that fact that it made moving incredibly painful no matter what he did, it also showed that he hadn't been doing his utmost to be careful; the sign of a good warrior was never receiving a wound on one's back.

Shit, he was cold. He wanted to be inside, _needed_ to be somewhere warm right that moment. He didn't even care where he went or who was there, as long as it was warm and his host wasn't another akuma. Damnit, he was better than this, how could he have gotten so seriously injured? He wanted to be home…

But he was in pain, and his body was trying to heal itself as he moved which only made the pain worse. He was pretty sure his back was bare of everything, skin included and it probably wasn't wise to expose his flesh to the cold like this. He needed to be inside, he didn't care if he wasn't at home.

When he came to that door, he hardly took a moment to think of what to do. Deciding that it was more important to get warm and healed, Kanda barged into the only other house besides his own that he'd ever felt comfortable just walking into.

Even as his vision blurred and his body sagged against the doorway, Kanda noticed that Yori's house had become much cleaner since he'd last been inside of it. Yori kept a better house than his father had, that was for sure. Without bothering to call for the owner of the house or get permission to enter, Kanda closed the door and started looking around for the medical supplies he knew Yori kept around the house. He didn't really care if technically he was breaking into Yori's house with every intention of pilfering some gauze and antiseptic, he could just explain himself later, when he wasn't so damn cold…

"Holy hell--! Yuu, what happened?" It seemed he'd caused more of a ruckas than he'd intended to when he'd entered, for a sleep-rumpled Yori was walking out of the master bedroom, looking at him with wide eyes.

"Don't….call me that," Kanda ground out. Yori snorted as he ran over to Kanda, helping him to a couch. He was careful to lay Kanda on his stomach and made sure not to handle him too roughly. Kanda both did and did not appreciate the treatment. More than anything it was embarrassing being helped by Yori, shameful.

"Now is hardly the time, Yuu," Yori said as he quickly grabbed the med kit he kept in the supply closet. He brought it over to the couch and opened it as he inspected the wound. Goodness, there was hardly any skin left on Kanda's back, and everything was an odd black shade— it was the akuma virus, though Yori didn't know that. He moved to grab the disinfectant, but Kanda caught his hand before he could.

"I can do it myself, don't you dare touch that wound," Yuu commanded, he could feel his body fighting the virus, he knew it was there and he didn't want Yori touching it. He wasn't sure, but chances were that the virus could be contracted by touching it when it was on someone else. Whether that could happen or not, Kanda wasn't ready to risk it.

"This is no time for pride you idiot, there's no way you can do this yourself! At least let me disinfect this wound!"

"NO!" Kanda shouted with more volume that Yori thought he could in his current condition. Yori blinked at him for a moment, but it was clear he wasn't going to do what Kanda said. "There's poison in the wound, if you touch it you might die."

"Then that's all the more reason to clean it!"

"Idiot, I won't die, _you_ will! If you really need to play nurse then clean some of my other wounds, but don't you dare touch the one on my back." Yori pressed his lips into a thin line, and for a moment he glared at Kanda, before conceding.

"Fine," he said, kneeling before Kanda taking his arm instead. His skin was littered with gashes and bruises, some of the smaller ones were already healing over. Yori watched as a few shallow cuts sizzled out of existence. "Whoa…weird skin," he murmured, but said nothing else as he generously applied disinfectant to the larger cuts. It stung, but Kanda hardly noticed it, his back had his full attention.

"You know, I'm amazed that you didn't just let me touch the poison and see what happened," Yori commented as he worked; the silence was grating. He was a bit curious about how adamant Kanda was about not letting him touch his poisoned wound though; it was almost as if Kanda didn't want to risk him getting hurt.

"Che, I might not like you but I wouldn't wish death on you." Because really, as much as Kanda told people to die and whatnot, he dealt with enough dead people and death in general and he didn't like it. "Besides, I don't want to have to clean it up when you turn to ashes." And then Kanda had some more selfish reasons for not wanting people to die of akuma poisoning around him. That one went right over Yori's head, so he disregarded it.

An awkward moment of silence passed between the two of them, interrupted only by the occasional hiss of pain from Kanda. Yori didn't like this, he didn't like the fact that the person he'd cared about for so long was now going out and getting hurt like this. Did Yuu always come home looking like this? Did he get home in worse condition? It wasn't right to make a child fight in a war, it wasn't right to make Kanda fight. Yori was worried, he was afraid for Yuu; there was no way a child could survive for long on the front lines, was there?

"Hey Yuu-"

"-Don't call me that."

"Shut up Yuu, I'm trying to apologize." Kanda blinked widely for a moment, surprised by the command.

"Alright then, let's hear it."

"I'm sorry… for what I did. It was stupid of me, there's no excuse for my actions," Yori said solemnly, his head bowed as low as he could put it while still tending to Kanda's wounds. For one long minute Kanda stared at him intently, trying to find any hint of a lie on the man's face. His voice was truthful, and from what Kanda could see so was his face.

Now what did he do? Kanda was just as unsure of how he was supposed to react to an apology as he had been this morning. He was pretty sure Yori was being sincere, for the man had no reason to trick him, and there was no point in even bringing up the subject again after all these years if he hadn't been honestly bothered by it. Besides, Yori wasn't a humble person, he didn't bow his head for no reason.

"…Two questions," Kanda finally said after a long moment of silence.

"Shoot."

"Why did you decide to say that now?"

"Well, the way I see it, you might as well be half-dead right now," Yori said as he walked around the couch to get to the other side of Kanda's body, "so I figured that if you got really pissed at me for bringing it up now, you couldn't kill me."

"Che, still a fucking coward. And even like this I could still get you." Kanda huffed, though he could tell that Yori wasn't being completely serious with his answer.

Yori chuckled and rubbed his nose, "That's probably true," he muttered, staring at Kanda's back in surprise; the black had faded to gray, and he could actually see Kanda's skin stitching itself together again.

His answer had only been partially honest, as he knew Yuu had picked up on. Yori wasn't afraid of Kanda lashing out at him, but he had felt compelled to say something after seeing Kanda in such a state. Yuu was part of a war now, and seeing him come through his door looking so battered had made that fact so much more real to him. Did he always come home this way? Did he come home worse? That was currently Yori's most prominent thought, it repeated in his mind like a broken record. Yori feared that if he didn't say something now, while Kanda was still alive and with him that he might lose his chance to for good.

But of course he couldn't tell Yuu that, it would hurt his pride to know that Yori was unsure if he could make it through the war.

"You had a second question, Yuu-chan?" Yori asked, tactfully changing the subject. Kanda opened his mouth, clearing intending to say some variation of "Don't call me that," but he decided against it and shut his mouth again. Yori took that as the closest thing he'd get to Kanda saying he accepted Yori's apology somewhat.

"…Why'd you do it?" Kanda asked quietly, as if he were only just realizing he was seriously injured and should be taking it easy. Yori had expected the question but it still came as a surprise to him, and he accidently pressed too much disinfectant into the gash he was working on. Kanda hissed and reflexively jerked away. Yori absentmindedly mumbled an apology.

"Honestly, I was taking out my anger on you, even though you had nothing to do with the problem. You know how my father was, he was an abusive bastard and you were usually the one patching me up every morning. For the longest time I was just happy knowing that you and your family would take care of me, but then things got worse. I started getting more serious injuries that I didn't want to show you, didn't want anyone to know about…

"The more banged up I got, the angrier I started getting, at everything, anything. I didn't really want to think it but something in me started making me believe that you were just taking pity on me, and I didn't want pity, it's cruel. I didn't want to be a charity case, I felt like I was being made fun of behind my back or something, though logically I knew that would never happen. But I needed someone to take my anger out on, someone I had the power to tear down myself. I couldn't overtake my father, but he was the real problem. So I took it out on you because you were there and actually cared enough to worry about me… In the end I just made a regrettable mistake."

Ah, so that was it. It made sense now, why Yori would set him up like that. He'd pondered over that for so long before finally just giving up on finding an answer. The attack had seemed so completely random to him at the time he couldn't make any sense of it. Yuu supposed that considering this new information, he'd made the wrong decision in being so unforgiving. Perhaps he should've asked why Yori had done it a long time ago? It sounded like that had been the wrong time to leave the older man alone.

Finally, after a long thoughtful silence, Kanda exhaled a large breath, ruffling his bangs somewhat. "Whatever, I don't really care about what happened anymore anyway. I was just…curious about it. So let it go already, I'm tired and I can't sleep if you're busy floating around in your guilt."

"Floating in my guilt? Most people don't exactly consider that a light emotion, Yuu-chan," Yori pointed out with a snicker. Kanda just scoffed, and once again realized that he was indeed in a lot of pain and very tired from fighting and healing. Closing his eyes, he tried to block out the sting of the antiseptic and drifted off to sleep.

000

"He's stopped moving." Marie was wide-eyed with worried when Lavi came back with the medical supplies. Kanda had taken a little turn and had stopped moving, and Marie couldn't tell why. He was worried though, the snow was coming down pretty hard now and if Kanda had collapsed while still outside… well it definitely wouldn't be good for him.

"You mean he won't make it home?" Lavi asked, his own worry a little more real than he wanted it to be. Marie nodded quickly in response. The snow had gotten really deep, really fast, and they had to make it to Kanda before he froze to death or something equally horrible happened to him. It was exceptionally difficult to trudge through, and the wind was almost deafening to Marie. Lavi was having a hard time seeing anything but white as snowflakes swirled around in dizzying spirals.

The street the Kandas lived on was ridiculously long, and apparently Kanda had stopped moving somewhere near the very end of it. It took a good ten minutes just to reach the place that Marie was fairly certain was the general area Kanda had stopped moving in. No one was there when they stopped though, and for a minute they worried that Kanda had passed out and was being buried under the snow. But no, it wasn't deep enough to hide anyone under so that couldn't have happened.

Lavi looked around for some sort of clue that would lead him to Kanda, while Marie attempted to hear over the wind. The redhead found the faint traces of footprints in the snow just as Marie heard a familiar scoff from a nearby house. They both turned to follow their leads and ended up in front of an unfamiliar house. It took a few minutes to actually reach the front door though, damned long walkway…

"I hear him in there, he's speaking with… Yori," Marie said, sounding a bit surprised by this. Kanda had treated Yori with a mixture of hostility and indifference ever since he'd seen the older man, so it seemed strange that Kanda would be with that person.

"Hm, this must be his place then. Yuu probably stopped here 'cause it was closer to him than his house," Lavi decided, thinking that maybe Yuu really didn't hate Yori so much if he'd actually come here while injured. "In any case, we can't let him bleed out in Yori's house, right?" Lavi said, and the two remembered that they were supposed to be getting to their injured friend so that they could take care of him.

Lavi didn't bother to knock, and entered the house without invitation or even a proper greeting. He had intended to demand to be led to Yuu, but when he actually came in, he couldn't find it in himself to raise his voice.

Yuu was lying on the couch in the front room, clearly asleep. The only reason he was clearly asleep was because Yori was sitting in front of him, looking tired and like he could use a good night's sleep. He was slowly petting Yuu's hair, gently pushing the younger boy's bangs away from his face whenever they fell into his eyes. Marie couldn't see the scene, so he gave no reaction, but Lavi could, and something burned in him that he refused to name.

Instead of being surprised by the second break-in of the night, Yori just looked up at the two of them and smiled. "Figured you guys would show up eventually. I patched Yuu up for the most part, so everything is taken care of here. He just wouldn't let me touch his back wound, said it was poisoned." Yori's voice was calm and oddly peaceful. It sort of pissed Lavi off because he could see the gaping _hole_ in Kanda's skin and he didn't think such nonchalance had any place in this situation.

Marie diffused the situation without even realizing that there was one. "Thank you, Yori-san, we'll take over from here," he said, holding up the Order-issued medical kit they'd brought. Yori nodded, and made way for the two exorcists.

**-Continues to dodge pointy objects- Honestly, Saya wanted to put the explanation in here, but this chapter was getting so long already…! But in exchange for not being killed, Saya will start the next chapter off with **_**the**_** flashback! Seems a bit backwards to give you the cause for all of this after resolving it, but… It's sort of interesting in its own way too, hm? Reading the solution before reading the problem…? Yeah, yeah, Saya will quit with her excuse-makin' now….hehee.**


	36. Getting Better Getting Worse

**Ahaha~ As promised, that damned flashback you've all been killing Saya for! And then other not-so-happy things. Basically, it's sort of a sad chapter. You'll live. HAPPY CHRISTMAS! And any other holiday you may or may not celebrate! **

**Saya owns the play but not the actors, they belong to Hoshino-ka.**

**Rated T... Because a kiss doesn't call for an M rating.** **Rating will get higher with the chapters.**

**36. **Getting Better -- Getting Worse

_It was sort of odd, the feeling of foreboding that was growing within Yuu. He never felt this way when he was going to meet Yori; if he did then he wouldn't meet up with the older boy everyday like he always had. He pushed the feeling into the back of him mind, knowing that if there was one person he could trust it was Yori. _

_Maybe it was just the place they were meeting today? It was an old storehouse that they used to play in when they were younger. They'd stopped going there when a part of the ceiling had collapsed and had almost hit Yori, so why on earth would they go there to meet? Especially considering that they lived on the same street and it would be easier to just meet at one of their houses. Then again, Yori had been getting strange lately, so Yuu supposed it made sense that he would start making odd decisions. Kanda would just have to ask him about it today._

_That bad feeling nagged at the back of Kanda's mind when he saw there was no one outside of the storehouse. It wasn't like Yori to make him go into someplace like that alone. The older boy was usually the first one to make sure Yuu didn't endanger himself even that much. Yori was definitely getting strange. _

_Hesitantly, Yuu walked inside, looking to the ceiling as though he was waiting for it to fall down on him. Instinct had barely been enough to save him from the quick fist that came his way unexpectedly; it seemed the danger was with him on the ground. _

_Kanda looked around for his attacker and found it was an ex-member of his family's dojo. The boy hadn't had the control necessary for proper swordsmanship, he'd attacked one too many classmates without provocation and had been kicked out. If Yuu remembered correctly, this kid hated him. That wasn't so unusual; most people his age disliked him to some extent. Yuu was an introvert, he had no idea how to communicate normally. Most mistook that for being snobbish or arrogant; it made for a lot of enemies. _

_After a few minutes of dodging blows, Kanda had seen enough of the storehouse to know that there was not one but three people there excluding himself. All three of them were people who didn't exactly like him, because they thought he was proud and then he'd proven that he would've had every right to be arrogant when he kicked their asses. He was pretty sure he could do that again, but it was going to be a real chore. _

_Then again, he was facing all of them at the same time now, things could be different. Damn it all._

_Yuu felt a rush of relief when Yori walked into the storehouse, a little backup never hurt and the two of them fought well together. His relief wilted away when he realized that Yori didn't seem at all surprised by the situation, and he didn't seem inclined to do anything about it either. _

"_You always did like to show up early, Yuu-chan," Yori said casually, as though Yuu had just been bored waiting around for him. _

"_What the hell is going on here Yori?" Kanda hissed out as he ducked out of the way of one attacker's fist, just as another delivered a painful kick to his side. Even with most of his concentration on the fight at hand, Kanda's mind was still able to process the situation. He didn't really want to think of what was happening though; his thoughts were wandering in a bad direction. He wished he had the ability to think more positively, maybe then he could hide in naivety for a while longer. _

"_Ain't it obvious? These fine men are gonna try and beat the crap outta you. I'm gonna see how long I can watch." _

_Yuu knew something like that was going to be said, but the bluntness of it still caught him off guard. The second he took to stare incredulously was enough of an opening for one of his attackers to land a hit on his face. _

"_What the hell? What's the point of this?" Yuu demanded an answer once he'd gotten his bearings. _

"_I'm tired of being taken care of and pitied. I don't need it, I don't want it. Your self-satisfying pity sickens me!" _

_Pity? When had Kanda shown pity? Concern, maybe, but he never pitied Yori. He cared, of course he did, Yori was his friend. Pitying him had never crossed Yuu's mind though. Why would Yori think that? Well, Yuu was about as good at showing emotion as he was at communicating in general, maybe he hadn't done a good enough job of expressing his true feelings? Yuu wasn't sure. _

_Either way though, Kanda was sure of one thing: he'd done nothing to deserve this. He was almost certain that this was Yori's over-done way of turning his back to Kanda. Why hadn't Yori just said something if he was so annoyed with the way Yuu acted? There was no reason to set him up like this. _

_Kanda's aggravation made him forget all about holding back, and soon enough he'd given back to the three what they'd given him. He'd have to do worse though; these three were sturdy, if nothing else. _

"_I'd never bother with pity! You're a fool for thinking I pitied you and an asshole for setting this up!" Kanda yelled, and with an annoyed jab he hit the pressure points on the back of his first assailant's neck. Yuu was done with this game. The trio seemed to have no sense of loyalty to one another, because the other two quickly scampered off when the first one fell. _

"_You damned coward," Kanda said venomously. He could hardly get over the pettiness of this whole mess, the pointlessness of it. He was angry and didn't really understand just why this had to happen. "If you hate me then say it to my face. If you want to see me hurt, then damnit hurt me yourself!" _

_For a moment, Kanda's eyes burned into Yori's trying to read into their very depths to find his old friend's reasons for doing this. This uncalled for betrayal. There had to be a bigger reason, a reason Kanda could understand and accept. The realization of what was happening was really starting to sink in now. Yuu didn't want to think about what life was going to be like without this person constantly at his side. He didn't want to think about what was going to happen to himself without that important person in his life. And he definitely didn't want to think about what would happen to Yori if he didn't have anyone to patch him up every morning, either._

_He could find nothing in those deep brown eyes that he'd once thought he knew so well. If Yori had a reason for this, he was doing a fantastic job of hiding it. There was nothing but some unreadable emotion flickering in the back of Yori's eyes. Kanda scowled deeply, this felt so very wrong. _

"_Che, and now you go quiet. Can you only talk to me when I'm preoccupied? You really are a coward; you can't even say what you want to my face." Kanda didn't bother holding back as he spoke coldly to this person whom he no longer knew. His indignity raged, and he was tempted to lash out at this person. Yuu was stopped though when the pain coursing through his body suddenly made itself known to his consciousness. Damnit, he needed to get home, he needed to have Hayate help him clean up these wounds. _

_Yori made no move to react to his words, to speak in his defense or anything, he just stared, that strange emotion deadening his eyes. Kanda shook his head at the older boy; this was childish, it wasn't worth it to pick a fight with Yori now, there was no point. With an air of anger and disappointment, Kanda left the storehouse. _

_He wasn't the only one asking 'why' when he left. _

000

Yori was sort of amazed when Kanda walked around his house the next morning as if nothing had been wrong just the night before. He'd checked Yuu's back before the irate boy woke up to see if it had healed, and to his surprise the wound from the night before was almost completely gone. There was no scar, just a bit of discoloration where the wound had been, and even that was fading away. How strange, Yuu hadn't always been that way.

The redhead seemed to think it was strange that Yori was so surprised by Kanda's suddenly accelerated healing. He walked over to Yori's side as the older boy pulled the blanket covering Kanda back up to his shoulders; the kid had fallen asleep in what could hardly be considered scraps, he'd definitely needed the covering.

"Surprised he healed so fast?" Lavi asked as he stared at Kanda's face, his eye one-part admiring, two-parts denial. Yori could sort of see where the conflicting feelings came into play; Yuu was a real doll when he was sleeping. The two had been quick to avert their eyes when Kanda's fluttered open.

"Who wouldn't be surprised?" Yori muttered back, as if the question was crazy. It seemed stupid to Yori, but what did he know? Maybe all exorcists were like this? Maybe that Order they belonged to performed experiments on them to make them more superhuman than they already were? "I've never seen someone heal that quickly."

"Really? I asked Yuu-chan about his healing once, and he said that he'd always healed fast, said it was normal for him." Well Yuu had, just not in so many words and not to Lavi; he'd said something along those lines to Bookman and Komui after their first mission together.

Yori snorted at the statement. "Yuu said such an obvious lie and you actually believed him? Huh, he must've gotten good at bull shittin' people if he could pull that off." Yori wondered what else had changed while Yuu had been away. Who'd taught his Yuu to lie?

"Give me some credit Yori-san, if I believed him would I be asking you about it? I don't really know how he came to have this ability, but I know it's not something people are born with." Lavi wasn't stupid, and neither was Bookman; the old panda had reminded him to investigate Kanda's healing abilities before he left the tower.

"Yeah… Am I the only one made uneasy by it though? I mean, you're an exorcist and all so I guess you've seen stranger things, but I see that and wonder what he had to do in order to get that ability, you know? It must've been costly. Can't be healthy for him in the long run, either."

Lavi opened his mouth to respond to that, but quickly shut it again. In all honesty, he'd been so curious about the ability itself that he'd never thought about what it was actually doing to Yuu. Now that he thought about it though, he too realized just how bad the long term effects would be. Forgetting that he was having a conversation for a moment, Lavi started mumbling to himself about cell reproduction and the like.

"_Accelerated healing means a higher rate of mitosis… but that means the cells are splitting and dying faster than they should… After a while they'd all stop undergoing mitosis and… Oh hell, what did that idiot do to himself?"_ Lavi's eye widened as he realized that Kanda's healing ability was probably killing him slowly.

"Oi, Lavi-san, what are you mumbling about?" Yori asked, not understanding a thing as Lavi had been mumbling to himself in the bookman's secret language.

"That _idiot_!" Lavi exclaimed suddenly and loudly. Everyone in the room turned to face him, looking at him curiously. Lavi tried to stop himself from storming up to Yuu and punching him. Lavi had no idea what Kanda was thinking when he'd done whatever he had to get that stupid ability, but he definitely felt that it wasn't worth the sacrifice. Then again, that ability had saved Kanda's life a few times and without it Kanda's life would've been even shorter than it was destined to be. Perhaps that made it a good thing? It'd be a totally worthless ability when the war was over though, assuming it ended during Kanda's lifetime.

A light knock on the head brought Lavi out of his revelry. Kanda was standing beside him, one hand hitting Lavi's head, the other slowly closing the buttons on the shirt Marie had brought for him.

"Baka, stop saying pointless things so early in the morning," he said, though his voice held no real anger or annoyance. If anything, Kanda was just as confused as the rest of the group. Lavi could tell he was; confusion and curiosity were blending in his eyes.

"Ah…right, right. Sorry Yuu-chan," Lavi said with a sheepish grin, trying to get back into character. That outburst had been very un-Lavi-ish of him. Lately he felt like he was coming undone at the seams and he hadn't a clue as to why. It was like something was disrupting Lavi's persona, making it impossible to act out his role properly, making it impossible to not feel the emotions he showed.

000

"Hey, Yuu!" Kanda looked up from his position in the yard. It was his turn to stay home, but not his turn to sleep, so he'd just been walking around the yard without purpose. The voice from above had stopped him in his tracks.

Yori was waving down at him from a tree; Kanda recognized it as the one he'd always hidden from Hayate and his crazy schemes in. He and Yori had spent a lot of time up there as kids. Kanda looked up and sighed, shaking his head a little and trying not to smile. Just because he'd forgiven Yori didn't mean he could start smiling all the time and being happy. He had a reputation to uphold and Lavi would never let it go if he was nice for even a second. Then again Lavi was sleeping at the moment.

"Well, are you just going to stand there or are you going to come up here?" Yori asked, seeing that he had Kanda's attention.

"Do you really think that branch can hold us both anymore?" Kanda asked even as he made his way to the tree's trunk.

"Of course it can, unless you're trying to say you think I'm fat now. Sit on another branch if you're so scared." Hmph, Kanda scared of a little fall? Never. Yuu quickly climbed up to the branch Yori was sitting on and sat beside him. This was oddly nostalgic, he could still see the messy carving of their names in the bark of the tree; they'd had this labeling phase where they just had to write their names on everything when Yuu was about 7. They'd turned it into a little competition, seeing who could claim the most as theirs. Yori had won when he'd taken a calligraphy brush to Kanda's face while he was sleeping. _"I've claimed Yuu, so now anything you claim goes to me!"_ He'd said, declaring his victory. Damn cheater.

Something like a smile tugged the corners of his mouths upward just as much as he would allow as his fingers traced over the crudely carved names. A moment later he felt a thin finger tracing out the symbol for 'trust' onto his cheek.

"Remembering this?" Yori asked, giving a little sigh as he too looked over to the names scrawled on the wood. Kanda made a little noise of agreement in the back of his throat. Something in the back of Kanda's mind told him that he was slipping, that just because he'd forgiven one person didn't mean he could suddenly trust everyone in the world again. Thinking that way would get him killed, especially now. What had happened in the past had prepared him for the future.

That one little dark spot clouded the otherwise pleasant atmosphere that surrounded the two. If Yori noticed the dip in Kanda's unusually happy mood, he didn't say it. One thing they both did notice though was the slow dipping of the tree branch they were on. With an exchange of panicked looks, the two quickly jumped out of the tree, landing on the uneven ground with a roll to absorb the impact. They stopped rolling a few feet away from the tree, something like a chuckle welling up in Kanda's throat.

This…this happiness was so foreign to him, he couldn't really remember the last time he'd felt like things were right. He couldn't remember the last time he'd just sat together with anyone for even a moment without getting angry at them. Being here, in this familiar place with all of these familiar people was making him regress, almost. He wished he didn't know about akuma or the danger that lurked just outside of this town, because then maybe he could be perfectly happy for the first time in what felt like forever.

Yori rolled onto his stomach and folded his arm in front of him, looking perfectly content with the idea of just lying in the snow until they got too cold to stay outside. Kanda stayed on his back, looking up at the leaden sky that promised another storm soon. He could feel Yori staring at him, and questioningly stared back. He found that he still couldn't completely read the brown eyes he'd once been so familiar with, but at least now he wasn't staring at blank, flat irises. On the contrary, he was only having trouble reading Yori's eyes because there was too much in them to comprehend. Oh, how things have changed.

The moment was peaceful, but the world had this way of making sure it wasn't forgotten.

"Yuu-chan, it's your nap time," Lavi called out into the yard groggily from the side door of his room. Kanda exhaled loudly and got up, putting on his work face. He was not going to walk up to Lavi looking happy or content; he didn't want the rabbit getting any weird ideas about him being a secretly nice or joyful person or anything like that. He obviously wasn't, it was just this place.

"I hardly think sleeping like the dead for five hours in considered a nap," Kanda snapped as he walked past Lavi. Annoyingly enough, his voice didn't have its usual coldness in it, and damn it all Lavi noticed.

"In a good mood, Yuu-chan?"

"…hn."

"Never thought I'd see the day where you were happy and not murderous," Lavi said with general surprise. Usually the closest thing Kanda got to being in a good mood was being in a crazed, "I get to kill you now" mood. Normal happiness didn't seem to be part of Kanda's emotional spectrum. Huh.

'_Well I'll be damned. Guess you really do learn something new everyday.'_

"Who said a thing about happy?" Kanda asked with a huff, as though he could hide the light dancing in his eyes. Lavi sighed as though Kanda were a lost cause, shrugging his shoulders.

"I can just tell, and might I say that a happy Yuu is an adorable one?" Lavi's face stretched into a shit-eating grin as he prepared himself to run just in case Kanda gave chase, but amazingly enough Kanda just rolled his eyes and walked past him. Oh, he was definitely in a good mood, it was almost frightening.

"It's my turn to sleep right? Then get your ass ready to take Marie's place when he comes back," Kanda said evenly, as if he didn't care either way what Lavi did. It almost annoyed the redhead to know that at the moment he couldn't get under Kanda's skin. How unfair.

"Okay boss," Lavi muttered with another sigh. He wasn't sure if he liked the happy Kanda or not. As he left the room, Lavi looked over to the place Kanda had been just a moment before, and found the potential reason for why Kanda was so happy. Yori was still lying in the snow, staring at him curiously. Things had been oddly peaceful between Yuu and Yori since Kanda had gotten injured, so naturally Lavi had assumed that something between them had been resolved.

Lavi casually walked over to Yori and sat where he was pretty sure Yuu had been a moment before.

"I've gotta be honest with you Red, if I had to chose between you and Yuu, I'd chose Yuu."

"Well gee, I'm flattered." Lavi rolled his eyes, as did Yori.

"You know who I meant."

"Of course I do, my opinion is the same."

"I'm glad we're in agreement."

An odd moment of silence passed between them; that seemed to happen a lot when they were attempting conversation. Lavi figured it was probably because they were two rivals who were trying to stay civil with each other. Of course, Junior didn't really consider himself a rival; he was just acting out the role of one. This was the kind of thing "Lavi" would do after all.

"So I guess the two of you kissed and made up, hm?" Lavi asked, looking over to Yori. The older boy's face was priceless, he didn't seem to realize Lavi was just using a common expression and had taken the statement literally.

"O-Of course not! I am not like you, who just steals kisses from Yuu whenever you feel like it! Fiend, don't put me in the same group as you!"

"It's just an expression Yori, just an expression…"

"Oh."

"Bet you wish you had though, huh?" Yori did so hate Lavi's knowing grin.

There was another moment of relative silence where Lavi tried not to chuckle over the misunderstanding. The calm moment was destroyed though when the golem that followed Lavi everywhere started going crazy. Lavi was so used to it being somewhere around his head that he wouldn't even notice it anymore if he weren't a bookman who noticed everything always. Grabbing in out of the air, he spoke into it in quick English.

"_What's happening, Marie?"_

"_I just heard multiple barriers shut down, leaving wide gaps in the shield around this town. Akuma are quickly swarming in. Get Kanda and come out here quick."_

"_Shit. Where are you now?" _

"_LTwo miles east of you."_

"_We'll be there soon."_

The line was disconnected as Lavi jumped up from his spot in the snow. Yori gave him a worried look; he didn't understand what Lavi and Marie had said, but he understood the urgency in his voice.

"Yori, get inside and stay there. I can't explain it right now, but you need to get to a safe place. Tell the others to stay inside, too," Lavi said in a tone that left no room for argument. Yori was still confused about what was going on, but he did as told. To him, a serious Lavi meant something was seriously wrong.

Lavi followed Yori to the house's porch, running into the room he'd just left. He hardly noticed that Kanda was in the middle of changing, for once not thinking it was important enough to comment on.

"Yuu, we've got to go." Kanda didn't need an explanation; he just grabbed his exorcist coat and threw it on over his work pants and half-undone nightshirt. He followed the redhead when he broke out into a run, keeping pace until they reached Marie on the east side of the town.

"What's happening?" Kanda finally asked, now that they were together.

"An invasion, from the sounds of it," Marie replied, stress aging his face. Kanda cursed under his breath.

"Where are they coming in from?"

"A few barriers shut down around this area, the finders are probably dead. The akuma will show themselves soon, and hopefully we can keep them within this area." Marie inclined his head to the right, a clear sign that he was concentrating on listening to everything carefully. Kanda and Lavi were silent for a moment as Marie assessed the situation in a way they could never comprehend.

"We should spread out over a distance of about a mile; we can catch most of them that way." The three nodded in unison, and quickly split up with every intention to follow through with this plan.

000

The Kanda family and Yori were tense as they sat together in the dojo. They didn't really know what was going on, except for what Yori had told them. All he knew was that they needed to be safe, so they all just assumed that they were under attack.

"Is Yuu-nii going to be alright?" Naoko asked the question that had been plaguing all of their minds. None of them had ever seen Kanda come back from a night's patrol injured except for Yori, so they were very unsure of what would happen to their missing family member. It felt so wrong to be sitting on their hands in the dojo while the family's youngest son was fighting in a battle so serious that they had to take cover.

Yori was especially worried, naturally. He'd actually seen the injuries Yuu had gotten while on a normal patrol before they'd healed. If he was getting such injuries while running a routine patrol, how bad would his wounds be when the danger was this great? How often did Yuu have to run into battles like this? Had he lived through worse? Yori was becoming painfully aware of just how little any of them knew about this war.

"Yuu is going to be just fine, he's not alone out there, you know," Hayate soothed, keeping Naoko close. As much as he'd like to think she was too young to really understand the situation, he knew she did. It would take more than a few reassuring words to stop her from worrying.

"Che, I can hardly stand this," Yori muttered as he paced around like a caged tiger, "How can they just tell us to stay here while they go out to battle?"

"You know why, Yori," Kanda's father said, looking just as frustrated by the situation as Yori, "We don't have the ability to fight off these demons. We'd just be in their way." Yori grit his teeth at the truth in this, he knew that he'd be useless in this sort of fight but that didn't make anything easier. Still, couldn't someone at least be there to take care of the exorcists when the got injured? They could only fight for so long with open wounds. Yori didn't care what he did, as long as he wasn't sitting at home feeling useless!

Curling his hands into fists, Yori stopped pacing the dojo. For a moment everyone was relieved, figuring that he was finally going to join them on the floor. For an unsure moment Yori just stood, closing his eyes and trying to decide what it was he wanted to do. When he opened them again, he'd made his decision.

"I don't care if I can't fight, I can't stay here either!" he declared and ran out of the dojo. The family shouted after him, but it was clear that he would not be stopped. Hayate cursed under his breath and got up off the floor, running after Yori.

'_We're so gonna get killed,'_ he thought, and decided that if he did manage to drag Yori back to the dojo in one piece, he was going to kill that stubborn jerk anyway.

**Ah….Yori's running into the fray… this is not good, not good at all. Oh well! Saya's gotta say though, after the last chapter a lot of people changed their opinions of Yori. Saya was so happy because he's very dear to her heart, somehow. Sorry if the flashback was disappointing…Some of you might not think that was such a good reason for Kanda to be so upset and for things to go the way they did, but Saya can't help but think that as kids every little fight hurts a lot more than it should, you know? And to a 12-year-old, having one's best friend set them up for a beat-down probably seems like a pretty bad betrayal. And of course, the closeness of their relationship probably made it a lot worse. Maybe Saya's just making excuses for her fail… Anyway, hopefully you enjoyed this anyway?**


	37. Decisions, Decisions

**Originally this chapter was gonna be a bit more tragic, but… Saya couldn't bring herself to do it, even though she had a glorious scene planned out… Ah, she's getting soft in her old age, or sommat. On another note, Saya never intended for this fic to get so long, what the heck happened here? It was supposed to be a oneshot, how the heck did it turn into a chapter fic? How? Oh well, Saya's enjoying herself. **

**Saya owns the play but not the actors, they belong to Hoshino-ka.**

**Rated T... Because a kiss doesn't call for an M rating. Hasn't been much of that recently anyway.**

**37. Decisions, Decisions**

While it didn't make the situation any better, Kanda was relieved to find that he'd fought off larger numbers of akuma on his own than he was facing now. He could've destroyed them all on his own in a few hours, and since he had backup the clean-up time should be even quicker. But he couldn't be so hopeful because he knew that just on the other side of what was left of the barrier there was a nation of akuma just waiting for him.

With a longsuffering sigh Kanda leapt into the air, striking down akuma and pushing off of their shells just before they exploded in order to propel himself further into the air. It was as he was coming down to land on a rooftop (for it was significantly closer to him than the ground was) that he saw two people running down the street, right toward the battlefield. For a moment Kanda was reminded of that mission he'd taken in Ethiopia, when the girl in the village had been killed because she'd been out during an akuma attack. That alarmed feeling grew worse when he saw just who the two were. Kanda jumped to the ground and ran toward them, forgetting about his job for just a moment.

Just because he'd forgotten that he had akuma to slay, didn't mean the akuma had forgotten they had exorcists to kill. The moment Kanda had turned his attention elsewhere they trained their guns on him. Lavi was not oblivious to this; he was also not oblivious to the reason why Kanda was turning his back on the enemy. It was such a careless move, especially for Kanda, clearly there had to be a good reason for it.

Quickly he used his fire seal to destroy the akuma that dared to attack his comrade while his back was turned. However even the roaring fire that ignited behind him didn't deter Kanda from his task. Oh, this was going to be difficult indeed. The three of them were already pitifully outnumbered as it was, Lavi wasn't sure he could protect Kanda and himself at the same time. He was going to have to try though, because there were civilians involved, too.

Annoyed with the situation, Lavi swung his hammer again and conjured up a second pillar of flames.

"What the hell are you two doing here?!" Kanda shouted as he ran toward his idiot brother and his idiot childhood friend. He faintly realized that there was still a battle raging behind him, but he hardly cared. Hayate was still trying to drag Yori back home, but that clearly wasn't getting him anywhere.

"Yuu, I know I can't help you fight but at least just let me stay nearby! You guys can't fight wounded, so let me treat your wounds when they get too serious!" Yori demanded, knowing that he would not be allowed to fight not matter what he did. Still, at least if he was here he could do something, maybe stop one of them from dying of blood loss or drag them off the battlefield when they could no longer fight. At the very least, they wouldn't have to drag each other across the town just to get medical treatment.

"No! Now get the hell away from here!" Kanda couldn't even believe Yori was stupid enough to suggest it. Clearly he could not stay in this dangerous place. He had to get far away and fast. "The more civilians there are around, the harder it is to do my job! You're a liability!" Harsh words, but Kanda couldn't think of anything he could say that would get Yori to back off for the time being.

For a moment, it seemed like those words had done the trick, but of course Yori was just too stubborn to accept that and leave.

"I won't leave! I can't stand just sitting in some safe place doing nothing! I need to be out here, where I feel like I can do something if I'm needed!"

"You can't do anything here though!"

"There has to be something!"

"Please just go!" Kanda wanted to flinch away from the nearly pleading tone of his voice. He didn't mean to sound like he was upset by this but he was. His brother (who he did love despite all the torture) and his closest friend were both in mortal danger and yet Yori wanted to stick around. Kanda remembered the people he'd seen die by akuma bullets, he remembered the rooms of the dead that he'd lived in for the past year, he remembered too many morbid things and he didn't want to let his family and Yori become a part of those memories. They were supposed to be a reprieve from the bad thoughts that haunted him.

"Look… you'll die if you stay here. You aren't like me; you can't live through a shot. So… just go." Kanda found it hard to look Yori in the face while he was nearly pleading like this ('nearly' only because Yuu refused to admit that he was indeed pleading), but he was able to look up long enough to see that this seemed to be getting to Yori better than yelling ever did. Using his concern for human life to overtake his pride, he decided to land the final blow.

"Please leave… Don't make me worry about you." Somehow he managed to say this while looking Yori in the eye, and he knew he had won. Yori scowled and cursed, but it was clear in his eyes that he felt bad just thinking about how much worry he might be causing Kanda. Yuu felt like he'd just done something a bit underhanded.

"…Fine, Yuu, fine, I'll go, but only 'cause you went and made that face…" Yori murmured, and his scowl deepened as he turned to leave.

"Thank goodness someone managed to talk some sense into this kid," Hayate mumbled as he grabbed Yori and prepared to run him back home. With a relieved sigh Kanda turned from the two, only to startle a little when he came face-to-face with a fire serpent. Well, that explained why they hadn't been attacked, Kanda had thought it was strange that nothing had tried to kill him.

"They're leaving, Lavi," Marie informed the redhead of the situation so that he would get the snake out of Kanda's way. Lavi let the flames of his invocation die in response, heaving a sigh of relief as he did so. Now that Kanda was back in the fight things would get easier.

But of course, it was the moment that Lavi and Kanda thought the two were in the clear that something went wrong. It was something Lavi, even with his all-seeing eye, hardly noticed until it was clearly too late. Creeping along the side of buildings and skulking in the shadows was a thin level 2 akuma that looked something like a manta ray. It seemed to have been waiting for Lavi's fire serpent to diminish so that it could attack the two he was protecting. The redhead grit his teeth in frustration. The invocation he was holding now was fading and he was going to have to start another attack before he could do any damage. To make matters worse Kanda had already gotten through the gaps opening up in the dying fire serpent and had started to fight again. Lavi wanted to ask Marie for help, but he was more than busy with keeping the hordes of akuma at bay. The akuma had gotten the opening it had been waiting for.

Lavi knew that even if he were to immediately release another attack it wouldn't hit in time to be of any use, he knew his own timing better than anyone. Still, that was Kanda's brother and his friend, Lavi had to try to save them, he wouldn't be able to face Yuu otherwise. So pushing himself to be quicker, Lavi released his fire seal anew, simultaneously shouting to the other about the impending danger. Yuu was pretty quick on his feet; hopefully he could make it in time if Lavi's attack didn't.

Over the fierce roar of fire Kanda hardly heard Lavi's warning. But he did, and once again he turned his back to the enemy without regard for his own personal safety. Something in the back of his mind told him not to make a habit of that behavior; it was going to kill him some day. He hardly cared about self-preservation or being careful though, two important people were in danger.

"You two, run the hell faster!" Kanda shouted when he saw the akuma Lavi had shouted about for himself. It was too close to them, he was sure he wouldn't make it if they didn't buy themselves some time. Thankfully Hayate and Yori had good flight instincts and knew better than to look back when Kanda told them to run faster. However, whether they actually put any distance between themselves and the akuma, Kanda couldn't tell.

Grinding his teeth, Kanda kicked off the ground with greater force, propelling himself farther with each step. At this rate he might actually make it, but he had to be sure of their safety. With a wide swing of Mugen, Kanda released his first illusion and Hell's Insects shot through the air, attacking the akuma. It thrashed wildly about, trying to break loose of the deadly insects, but to no avail. In a last-ditch effort to do some harm the akuma started randomly shooting off bullets from its tail.

And that was when everything went wrong.

One of the bullets actually hit its mark. The poisonous bullet just barely grazed the skin of Yori's forearm, but already Kanda could see stars forming on the older man's wrists and hands, slowly creeping up his skin. Vaguely he registered the explosion the akuma made when it was finally destroyed. The insects came back to his blade just as he reached the boy, who'd been too stunned by the introduction of poison to his system to move. Because the wound was so shallow, not much poison had made it into Yori so the stars were spreading slower than normal. Despite that the poison was already close to his elbow.

He was going to die. Kanda had no idea how he was going to deal with this. Had Fate sent him back here just to make things right with Yori and then lead the man to his death? It was cruel, Kanda couldn't take this. There had to be a way to save his life, surely there was one.

Kanda thought quickly but came up with only one solution that would save Yori's life.

"Yori!" Kanda got the shocked man's attention by sharply calling his name. He was so transfixed by the way his arm was changing colors, by the fact that he was facing death that he couldn't find it in himself to pay attention to anything else. Still, he managed to rip his eyes away from his arm and look at Yuu. It might be the last time he ever saw the boy, after all.

"Choose quickly, lose your arm or your life." For a moment Yori could hardly comprehend what Kanda was asking. Kanda was annoyed by this, they didn't have any time to spare, if the poison reached his heart he was dead! "Quickly Yori!" Kanda shouted again, raising Mugen to Yori's arm as if to show what he was going to do. Yori's eyes widened in understanding.

"My arm! Cut it the hell off!" If it would let him live another day then Yori didn't care if he had to lose his right arm; he was left-handed anyway. With the last of his strength he raised his arm into the air; Kanda was quick to slice clean through it. He almost felt like vomiting at the ease with which Mugen sliced through flesh, it felt nothing at all like cutting through machinery. The blood that spilled out of the wound only contributed to the feeling.

Yori nearly went into shock from the immense pain that shot through his body. He dropped to his knees weakly and just stared before him with wide eyes. He couldn't even muster up a scream. Yuu's grip around Mugen became shaky when he saw this reaction, saw the blood and the way it drained out of severed flesh- so human and real. He could hardly believe that he had just done that.

"He's gonna bleed out!" Kanda said his body running on autopilot since his mind was too horrified with what he'd done to think properly. "Hayate get him out of here quickly and make him stop bleeding! Just… just make it stop!" Kanda couldn't stand to look at the blood any longer and ran back into battle, hoping he could make the lingering feeling of cutting through human flesh and bone vanish if he destroyed enough akuma.

Hayate was more horrified than anyone else by what he saw, but was quick to work to save his friend, lest he die of blood loss. He faintly wondered what Kanda had meant by his last statement; at that moment, the repetition of that phrase made it seem like he was talking about more than Yori's bleeding. Maybe he wanted this battle to stop, or the war, or everything, Hayate couldn't tell. He just knew that he'd never seen Yuu look quite so panicked and undone.

With speed he hadn't known he possessed, the eldest son carried Yori out of the dangerous street and into the nearest untouched building. He used his shirt to wrap the wound so that the bleeding would stop and prayed that Yori would hold out until the battle was over and they could get him fixed up properly.

000

Kanda had not come out of his room since everyone had returned home from the fight. His official reason was that he was packing; they would be leaving the next day to meet the enemy head-on outside of the town's barriers. But everyone knew that he didn't have nearly enough with him to excuse this. Another thing just about everyone knew was the he wasn't really avoiding them as a whole so much as he was avoiding Yori.

Yori was a strong guy both physically and mentally, and even though he'd suffered such blood loss, he'd been determined to be up and moving by the next day. When the battle had been won the Tiedoll unit brought Yori to one of the Order's medical teams that were stationed in the town for the finders, so he'd had the best medical care. It had been very difficult to get Yuu away from the then-unconscious boy; at least it had been until Yori woke up. Kanda went conspicuously missing after that.

It was clear to see that he felt like he'd done something wrong. He'd save Yori's life, sure, but he'd also debilitated him. Yori was just fine with that, he wasn't sure how much he needed his right arm for, but he'd find a way around it. He was just grateful to be alive, and he didn't understand how Kanda could be so upset over something that seemed so minor.

So one by one everyone went into the room he shared with Hayate and tried to get him to come out. He seemed to see no reason why he should, and refused. So when the entire family had failed (even Naoko, and she'd really pulled out all the stops, too), the friends (or at least the ones who assumed themselves his friends) moved in.

Lavi dodged a flying pillow as he walked through the door. That was such a prissy girl move, he thought, he could hardly believe Kanda had done it. He was more or less expecting to be speared upon entry, or at the very least he was expecting something that hurt more than a pillow.

"Good evenin' to you too, Yuu-chan."

"Sleeping. Go the hell away."

"You haven't even had dinner yet, no way are you sleeping now."

Lavi heard a sigh from Kanda and the boy sat up in his futon. His glare said 'leave now and I'll spare your life' but the redhead had never heeded such warnings and so walked right up to the boy and sat down beside him. Kanda attempted another glare, but just decided it was a pointless effort and sighed again.

"Yuu, we're leaving tomorrow, shouldn't you be spending tonight with your family?" Who knew when the next chance to come here would be? Kanda should've been making the most of it.

"…"

"And judging by the way you're reacting to what happened, I can assume you'll never come back here again unless the war ends, right? So you really should be out there enjoying your-"

"Of course I'm never coming back!" Kanda said, almost indignant at the idea of returning. "Everywhere exorcists go, destruction follows. Hayate and Yori could've been killed because our presence attracted more akuma to the town! If being here means putting this place in danger then I'll never come back!" Yuu didn't want to take the chance of letting something like this happen again. He knew he shouldn't have broken the rules to come here; rules were put in place for a reason. He should've just stayed outside of the town and worked on depleting the Earl's forces from outside of the barrier. Instead he'd selfishly endangered everyone and he was too weak to stop Yori from getting hurt.

Yuu wasn't strong enough to be here. He'd thought he was getting stronger, but instead the Order had made him soft. He was trusting people that weren't related to him by blood with his life. He was fighting side-by-side with a schizophrenic redhead and hoping to God that the two-faced asshole would have his back. He was fighting an enemy he couldn't see, one that hid in human shells, he couldn't afford to trust and yet he did. He was foolish and weak.

Weak. He couldn't protect anyone. Kanda thought back to his first mission; he couldn't protect himself and Lavi had almost died because of his weakness. He thought about his mission with Lenalee in Ethiopia; he couldn't protect himself or the innocent. That girl ended up dead and he'd gotten shot. He remembered the past year of battle; he'd been too weak to protect his own teammate, and Daisya ended up suffering horrific burns and nearly died. Then of course there was yesterday; he couldn't even protect the people who meant the most to him, and Yori had been shot, nearly died, and ended up without a right arm. Kanda was too weak to protect anything.

Right, he was too weak to protect, he had too much to protect already. The only way to solve this problem was to stay far away from anything he could hurt, and make sure that he didn't get attached to anything more. He was in over his head as it was, so until he had the strength to protect everything, he couldn't care about anything at all. Then it wouldn't matter as much when he lost it.

Lavi gave Yuu a moment to go through with his introspection, before speaking again.

"Of course things get ruined when we're around, Yuu-chan. We're exorcists, we're magnets for trouble. Honestly, we're not here to save anyone, we're not new wave messiahs. We just destroy whatever opposes us, what opposes 'God.' If you think of it that way, then the fact that you managed to save _someone_ is a miracle in and of itself. You might be upset because Yori was hurt, but he's just grateful to be alive. Shouldn't you be grateful that he's alive, too?"

Kanda gave Lavi a sideways glance at this. The idea was an interesting one, and it went right along with what he was just thinking. If he was just a destroyer then he couldn't be expected to protect anything. If he failed to save something then it wouldn't be a problem because it simply wasn't his job to. It would be something of an achievement when he did. He'd forgotten to be grateful that Yori was alive too; he was just being too pessimistic about it. It wasn't like he'd forgotten that Yori could've died, it was just he was so hung up over that possibility that he'd neglected the fact that it hadn't happened.

Mulling these new thoughts over in his head, Kanda looked away from Lavi and to the floor. What was the right way to think? Was this it, or was he just thinking whatever was convenient for him? Why did it have to be so difficult to determine these sorts of things anyway?

Lavi could tell that he'd had some sort of affect on Kanda, but he didn't know if he'd done something good or bad. He also realized that Kanda probably wasn't going to say anything more to him no matter how long he sat there. So Lavi got up, pat Yuu on the head (amazingly he didn't lose his hand), and left.

"So you're just destroyers, hm? Gotta say that's a sort of depressing fate." Yori was leaning on the wall by the door just outside of Kanda's room. His one arm rested over his abdomen; if he had both arms they probably would've been crossed over his chest. "Is it my turn yet?"

Lavi shrugged in response. "Guess so. Ya still look like shit though, white as a ghost. You sure you wanna show him such an unhealthy face?"

"Well he hasn't seen me since I woke up; I think pale and shitty-looking is better than unconscious. Maybe he'll feel better seeing me for himself, you know? Walkin' and talkin' and living."

"Or maybe he'll see the missing arm and spiral into a guilt-induced depression."

"Can't be much worse than it is now, right?"

"Point taken. Good luck then." Lavi put his hand on Yori's shoulder for a moment in something that almost seemed like a gesture of peace. It slipped off as the redhead made his way down the hall. Yori watched him leave for a moment before entering the room.

"Ya know Yuu, only little kids would go to bed this early."

"I'm not in bed anymore."

"Do you still want to be?"

"Yes." Kanda wasn't really out of bed, in Yori's opinion; he was still sitting on top of it. But well, what did that matter? Yori walked between Yuu and Hayate's futons, then picked up the quilt covering it, sat down beside Kanda, and pulled the thick cover over their heads. Yuu let out a surprised sound and scowled in Yori's direction. They were way too old to be sitting under the covers like this. When they were kids they used to hide under the covers when they stayed up past their bedtime to talk.

"Well, you're back in bed now. Feel better?"

"I feel foolish." Kanda tried to fix his messed up hair for a moment before deciding it was a pointless gesture; every move he made would only make it worse. With a halfhearted glare he stared at Yori. For a moment he forgot that the man was injured; Yori was sitting to his right and it was hard to see under the thick quilt. It was his fault, certainly there must've been another way to save Yori, if he'd only been calm and thought logically…!

"Yuu, I know you're blaming yourself for what happened, but honestly, you saved me so could you go a little easier on yourself?"

"I've had this same conversation five times today already so I hope you've got something new to say. And I'm alright now, really"-Kanda pouted and then added-"Not that there was anything wrong in the first place."

Yori laughed at Yuu's stubborn attitude and pat him on the head as though he was still a little kid. "Man, that's not fair. I wanted to be the one that said all the cool lines that made you feel better! Seriously, it's so unfair that Red gets to be so close to you, he's only known you for two years!" Yori sounded rather indignant, and Kanda couldn't quite understand why. He also didn't see how he was close to Lavi at all. That stupid rabbit just had no concept of personal space or manners.

"We aren't close! I hate that guy!" Kanda declared, because he definitely hated that two-faced fake of a redhead. Definitely.

"Really? Then why does he call you Yuu-chan? And do you always let people you hate kiss you? I don't recall ever being invited to."

"W-wha-what?! I-"

"No use hidin' it, 'cause it was definitely you yelling "Not in my mother's house!" at him, which by the way makes it seem like you'd be okay with him kissing you as long as you aren't here."

Kanda opened his mouth to respond, but then closed it and covered it with his hand. His face was so hot that he was sure he must be glowing red or something. He had not wanted anyone to ever see anything like that, and it was made all the more embarrassing because Yori of all people had seen it.

And what was that last comment about, anyway? It was clearly unnecessary.

"I don't want him to do that stuff, he does it on his own! It's always a surprise attack with that guy! And I've been telling him not to call me Yuu-chan since the day we met but he just won't stop! He's infuriating and I hate him!"

But if he really hated Lavi then he wouldn't have let him in the room, and he wouldn't have listened to him talk. He wouldn't have cared about a thing Lavi had said, he'd just brush it all off. He wouldn't let Lavi off so easily for doing all of those rude and indecent things either, if he hated him so much. Kanda didn't want to admit it, but he sort of _didn't_ hate Lavi. It was unnerving to even think that he could like that insane, schizo, rabbit brat.

"Surprise attacks, hm? I'm sure they are. But, we're very off topic right now. If you're feeling better, why won't you come out of this room? Everyone wants to see you before you leave."

"I…" Well Kanda didn't know why he didn't want to leave. He knew if he did he'd just get upset, and he was tired of feeling anything. He'd gone so long with only feeling things like anger and indignation that it was exhausting to feel anything out of that range. His family made him soft, they made him happy, but those were two very useless emotions. He'd miss them when they were gone.

Kanda just didn't want to leave. If he just sat in his room, maybe time wouldn't move forward? He knew that wouldn't work, that he was just wasting time, but still.

"…I get it Yuu, no need to say a thing," Yori said; he sounded so sure of himself, Kanda wondered why. It was as if he'd analyzed the silence and had managed to get something out of it. Yori had always been able to do that though, he supposed it wasn't anything terribly new.

"But really though, staying in here is just a waste of time for you. You should enjoy our company while you can."

"Didn't I tell you to say something new?" Kanda muttered, though he didn't really care anymore. He'd gotten to the point where he'd leave this room just to make everyone stop telling him to.

"Something new, then? Hm…" Yori thought for a minute, deciding that a completely unrelated subject would be best. He quickly decided on one and went with it. "You're still growing out your hair, I see. I'd have thought you would have cut it by now."

"Well, there was just no need to cut it." Before Kanda had left home, he hadn't been allowed to cut his hair. Well, if he really wanted to he could have, but his mother and his sister loved to play with it and they got so upset any time he said anything about cutting it. Naoko had even made him promise to never cut it once, and she could talk him into promising her the world, if she wanted to. She just couldn't get him to leave his room.

"You haven't cut yours, either," Kanda observed, "There was never any reason for you to wear yours long."

"Of course there was a reason, I promised remember?" And he had. Kanda used to get so annoyed about feeling feminine because of his long hair that Yori had promised he'd wear his long too, just to make Kanda feel better. Sure, they'd been little kids when he promised that, but he still kept to it, even now. Besides, it rather suited him.

"… I forgot." Why would Kanda remember something like that? It hardly seemed like an important promise to make. On the other hand, it was sort of amazing that Yori had kept a promise so small.

"Sorta figured you had. Oh well, doesn't matter now. So anyway, since you're feeling so great now why don't we go spend some time with the others?"

Kanda nodded and started to get up. "Sure, just give me a minute."

Just as Kanda was getting to his feet, he was suddenly pulled back down by the hand and before he could even register what was happening, Yori's lips came into contact with his own and were gone just as quickly. "Okay Yuu-chan, but you only get a minute." Abruptly Yori stood up and a barrage of cold air assaulted the two. Kanda shivered a bit but disregarded it as he tried to make sense of what had just happened. Yori slipped out of the danger zone as the younger man thought.

A moment later Kanda had fully comprehended the situation and he did the only thing he could think to do. Yell out his embarrassment.

"What the hell! Why is everyone turning gay on me?!"

Yori chuckled at Kanda's yelling as he made his way down the hall.

**This is pretty much the end of the Japan arc, Saya just couldn't have Kanda leave Japan without Yori getting something. Saya loves Yori too much, really. But she knows, she just knows, that she's going to get at least one review with someone threatening Yori. Poor guy. On the other hand though, a lot of people have actually been rooting for him… haha, never expected that to happen! A few people have even asked for a YorixYuu one shot…. Would anyone read that? Saya wonders. **


End file.
